Friday 1st July 2022

Telling My Story. Ch 26. Final. Sept-Dec 2021. 6/51 #LifeThisWeek.  8/2022.

Telling My Story. Ch 26. Final. Sept-Dec 2021. 6/51 #LifeThisWeek.  8/2022.

Telling My Story. Image #8.

The backstory first:

Nearly FIVE years ago now ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed.

Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at

Chapter Twenty Six. Telling the story, Sept-December 2021 for the final time.

So, in keeping with my ethical approach to all things, I am making the chapters about MY recollections to various changes in life for me, and us, and life as we knew it. I hope I can continue sharing the story without any intentionally negative or hurtful references to others who are in my life as friends and family members. All of the stories to date found here.

And with this chapter, a photo in March 2021…taken overlooking the harbour at Dobroyd near where I grew up close to Manly N.S.W.

September 2021.

Introducing September 2021. It was the third month of lockdown for us here on N.S.W. Central Coast which was part of Greater Sydney and restrictions. No hairdressers, no shops open for browsing, keep close to home, exercise away from home within Local Govt Area is Ok….and for me, the telehealth annual cancer check.

This image here sums up my desire to ‘keep it real’ for my appearance as well as to record the various places I visited. I got great news from my head and neck cancer team, via the phone, and that is unless anything changes for me, my NEXT visit in September 2022 will be my LAST visit. I am still recovering from that news! “I will miss you” I said to them. Apparently that is very normal!

The remainder of the images that form memories as part of Telling My Story, will have information under them.

To keep us as safe as possible, during this particular lockdown we approached going outside/away from the house, following the rules.

  • Only one of us went out for whatever that purpose was (shopping, doctor, exercise) once a day.
  • And we deliberately limited our exposure to potential Covid by only visiting two local stand-alone supermarkets.
  • We (I) missed some chances to shop for crafty items and gifts to send in care packages (we did this twice in September) and for that I visited a Reject Shop.

 

Instagram has been problematic for me since I moved to a new Iphone. And this year, I went from two accounts to one. Made it easier to keep track too.

On this day, I stopped the car and took photo after photo of Flannel Flowers.

October 2021.

Oh my goodness, it was getting  closer and closer to “opening up” again here in our part of N.S.W. and in Greater Sydney.

  • We still could only travel inside the local government area of Central Coast.
  • However it goes from the M1 at around Mt White in the south  to Lake Munmorah in north and across to the coast at many places.
  • Even so we decided to stay close to our ‘local area’ comprising of Wyong, Norah Head, Hamlyn Terrace and Toukley…until I had enough and did a couple of solo road trips south to where we used to live.
  • To pick up some items, and to have a look around again at where we lived from January-November 2015.

On 11th October 2021, we were free again to drive to Sydney. However, my Dad suggested I come a couple of days later. My husband was fortunate to get his HAIR CUT this week, and I still had a rather agonising two more weeks’ wait as my salon needed to have all working there to be double vaxxed.

I enjoyed that experience in late October, and could actually show my face with pride when we visited our son’s family. I was too embarrassed by my LONG (for me) locks when our daughter and her youngest visited pre-hair cut. No photos….

So, here are my memories.

Head and Neck Cancer is never far from my mind…even though I am well.

  • I assisted in the promotion of the submission by Head and Neck Cancer Australia to all Federal M.P.s by sending my story with head and neck cancer (page is here) too. I heard back from several, and some invited me to meetings, along with CEO Nadia Rosin.
  • Unfortunately I was unwell for one face to face meeting but did get to the Zoom meeting with one M.P.
  • It is hoped that we will be invited to Canberra (after 3 postponements due to Covid in 2021) to share more in 2o22.
  • I will not be attending. See *further in post
  • However, there will most likely be a federal election too…so we will await not only that outcome but to see how the future government might be in terms of financial assistance to this Australian head and neck cancer charity.

And by the end of October, the best thing happened. We got to drive to outer Sydney to see our son and his four kids on the acres where he lives.

 

H is 14, we cared for him from 4 months a few days week till school, R is now 12, off to HS and we cared for her for a similar time. E, is 8 and we cared for her for one year & Miss M, we got to know her from visits to us. LOVE these kids

November 2021.

We are now into my birthday month…but I seriously only celebrate on ONE day. However, because of my history with anxiety and head & neck cancer I tend to look back and recognise my developments and changes. Here’s what I mean as an example:

 

We continued our plans to have a drive somewhere each second Friday and here’s a couple of photos from those times.

And some excursions of mine…locally to beaches, the lake and more:

Visiting Dad means frozen meals made by me for him, and morning tea I bring. He enjoys the chat and the company and I feel better for having helped him too. Sometimes I do a trip back down MY memory lane living near Manly and the Northern Beaches.

Whilst it’s been good to be out of lockdown, Covid19 risk remains and we wear masks inside any building, and the shops, and use our phones to check in, and show our vaccination status. I started having a coffee out, we enjoyed John Doyle’s book. Me via Audible, B via the book. Flowers from the garden to make into dried flowers, over time. Our serious and grown up day of signing new wills and Powers of Attorney and Legal Guardianship, and two pieces of furniture made by Bernard.

And now: love capturing nature and then making collages.

And I enjoy making collages of all the people I love too….question, where is the one with eldest Grandson?? DONE! And I enjoyed another coffee catch up with my friend, and the 3 eldest grandkids’ Granny too. They asked, “do you talk about us?” No, not much, we talk about how it is getting old(er)!

Joining in with The Big Hug Box for a packing day.

  • I last did this in 2018 and Lisa Greissl’s ambition to help others when she was recovering from a very rare cancer is an on-going project with success after success.
  • She was a recipient of a local large shopping centre grant of $10,000 enabling over 200 Big Hug Boxes to be donated to those with cancer in the Hunter region of N.S.W. Covid restrictions changing but still with rules, meant she could have around 12 people join her at the cafe she & her husband now run.
  • Info about The Big Hug Box can be found here. And Lisa’s story as a Woman of Courage here!

Lisa Greissl was a runner before her cancer surgery which compromised her left leg. Determined to be fit and well via exercise, she has become a rower and now, after completing events in NSW she is determined to be a Para-athlete and will be seen trying her best to become an Australian rep in the sport.

Happy 72nd Birthday, Denyse!

I was very grateful to spend a quiet and lovely day having morning tea out with B, and receiving texts, phone calls and a card (thank you to my bro and SIL) along with Facetime in the evening with our kids and their kids…separately! Knowing you are loved and cared for is a blessing and I am grateful for their presence in my lives. Dad always calls too, and he rang later in the day.

December 2021.

This month brought weather that felt like Autumn or Winter. Accompanied by heavy rain at times, we were OK locally but many around N.S.W. were not. Flooding, flash floods and wild storms caused a lot of havoc. At the time of writing, it is 20degC and not at all summer like! However, as I edit this in early January, we eventually got to summer weather but with added humidity and rain. Not great beach weather.

Mum’s Birthday: 6 Dec. She’d have been around late 70s here.

Christmas creeping up on us. And we don’t mind as it tells us the year we’d perhaps like to forget much about, it nearing the end.

And it’s time for school presentation days, graduations, formals, exams and farewells…each needing to be done within Covid restrictions.

  • So tiring too. I felt for teachers and principals as they had so much to do and then it could all fall in a heap if there was a case of Covid reported.
  • Despite teachers and those who work in schools required to be fully vaccinated, and masks being mandatory, it does not stop people actually getting covid and at the time of writing a new variant has been found and case numbers are rising.
  • So far, fingers crossed, no-one in our family has been affected. By January, there were some with Covid.

Keeping the memories happening for me by making photo collages….

My find for learning and reading..is Brene Brown’s latest. Loving Atlas of the Heart so much.

Head and Neck Cancer: My work, my condition and more is never far from my mind.

I had been part of the inaugural Choir: Raising Our Voices for Head and Neck Cancer Australia and whilst it is elsewhere on my blog, I am leaving the video here too.

As a result of putting some information about my story, and how I can share about Head and Neck cancer Awareness, I have my first invitation*  to speak to a Probus Group in Sydney’s west in late April 2022. If this goes well, and the news is something that helps others, I will seek more opportunities to do so. It’s free of  course but it’s a distance to travel so I will see how much I want to do this. I now have a “Speaker’s CV”.

*Since writing, I have reviewed my ‘doing’ ideas and they are being stopped..in fact, I am doing to stop most if not all plans for travelling to be a speaker or participant. I have been not taking into account how much my inner health is affect, and that I cannot eat well at all unless I am at home. So, that’s it. Learning to BE. Again.

And still, even more news from Head and Neck Cancer Australia when A/Prof  Bruce Ashford, Board Member and Head & Neck Surgeon spoke on Sunrise about the rising numbers (no known cause) of young women being diagnosed with cancer of the tongue. Not HPV either.

My own cancer site was a bit sore, even though I care for it as much as possible so managed a late December appointment to see my Prosthodontist in Westmead. I was relieved all seemed well and there is no sign of any disease (as he said, but it implied cancer). Phew.

I came home on a relieved ‘high’ and with so much gratitude which was tempered within 24 hours to hear news of its return in a dear friend. I won’t name her.

Late December including Christmas. 

We got our planned boosters for Covid earlier than we thought thanks to our kind pharmacist.

We were on target for visiting our daughter’s house for Christmas Day, where we would see all of our family: kids and their kids…for the first time together at Christmas since 2014…until…

23 December, late in the day, I began to feel unwell. Like a “virus”. Lethargy, cough, aches. With a virulent strain of Covid called Omicron seeing a HUGE spike of case numbers daily in N.S.W. from the hundred to the thousands in a week, that meant a covid test. I drove from home very early to one centre on Christmas Eve, and despite it showing it was open on the website the night before, it was closed. Those of us who lined up in our cars for over an hour, had to leave and find another place.

These photos are from late December, early January experience of mine.

That time I went where I probably should have in the first place, to Wyong, and had a long-ish but not intolerable wait of over an hour, and got my test done. Still feeling so unwell, our plans for Christmas were abandoned and we stayed put.

The last week of December 2021.

It was boring, predictably, because of Covid and the need to be mindful everywhere we went (or did not in the end). I enjoyed, just on two occasions, a coffee sitting down at a cafe …after a short browse for books…until I stopped doing that because of ‘getting pinged’ by the NSW Service App. Obviously it was working but I had no symptoms therefore no need to test.

Testing…testing ….was a ridiculously awful time for many thousands of us here in N.S.W. as the pathology places buckled under the huge numbers of tests, and their drive-in and other places closed early or did not open due to lack of staff.

Whilst I detest ending the year on a pretty negative note..hey, Covid negative is a good result for anyone…I would like to hope, that in 2022 we can see ourselves coming out of it with the notion of ‘living with Covid” one that is possible. As my husband says ” we live with the flu viruses, and we have our annual shot but it doesn’t always work but we take that chance”.

Here’s the collage of my new blog photos for 2022. Changing the subject!

The posts for Telling My Story end today…..

But before finishing I want to remind myself of a few things. Where I began to feel changes happening within me that seemed strange and yet I  kept on thinking  the professionals I saw knew more than I did. Not re-telling my story but remembering the WHY and WHEN of beginning this process of sharing words and photos from my life, at age 65.

Acknowledging The Shock of My Cancer Diagnosis & Challenge of Brutal but Necessary Surgeries. 

I have taken till this post to share with you all how hard it was to both acknowledge and manage my emotions with the shock diagnosis of a rare cancer back in May 2017.

I also took me some time to learn more about the qualities of the cancer as was found, removed and sent to pathology. Nothing like having the full pathologist report but it took me some years to look at it. I just kept going because I was 100% confident of my professional team. I even called my cancer #squamouscellcarcinoma of the upper gums and under the top lip. But it was not quite like that. It took me till year 5 since diagnosis to read more, and to now share here what it was:

T4N0 verrucous carcinoma upper alveolus: is on my report. T-tumour 4 – cm area N nodes 0 none found with cancer. 

Verrucous carcinoma is a relatively uncommon, locally aggressive, clinically exophytic, low-grade, slow-growing, well-differentiated squamous cell carcinoma with minimal metastatic potential.17 Dec 2017

The alveolar ridge (/ælˈviːələr, ˌælviˈoʊlər, ˈælviələr/;[1] also known as the alveolar margin) is one of the two jaw ridges, extensions of the mandible or maxilla, either on the roof of the mouth between the upper teeth and the hard palate

I now have greater understanding of the ‘where’ the cancer was and that it has ‘cauliflower’ like appearance because I could see that under the top lip. Knowing I was female, non-smoking and non-drinking made me “rare of rare” my Prof told me once. It appears that other reasons a cancer like that could form in my mouth as that I had a bridge attached to the upper teeth and over time that could have caused severe irritation and I was often told I had candida. I prefer to take my Prof’s word that sometimes we will never know.

Doing this here makes me proud of how far I have come and how much my life as altered due to this cancer being found in the weeks after I decided to Tell My Story. And why there was a year’s gap.

Thank you dear readers and commenters. I have been delighted to see how my life story is of interest.

Yes this is the end but no not quite. Given that as a blogger I am choosing what I write about I am planning now to do a month-in-review post each end of month so, yes, in some ways life, like the stories, goes on.

Denyse.

 

Life This Week. 7.2.2022.

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The Month That Was: January 2022. 5/51. #LifeThisWeek. 7/2022.

The Month That Was: January 2022. 5/51. #LifeThisWeek. 7/2022.

Welcome to my re-cap of January 2022.

I am no longer creating Telling My Story updates any more. The series can be found here.Telling My Story.

The post next week will be the F for F I N A L one. I decided this because it became onerous and time consuming.

Instead, I am going to plan an “end of month” post instead to help keep my memories too.

It’s called The Month That Was.

January 2022.

Before we said hello to January, we said good bye and many thanks for 2021 even though it sure had its challenges….

Could there have been a more welcomed year than 2022?

 

Yes, and not this one either it appears as we, and the rest of the world, continued along the pandemic path thanks to Covid and its newest kid on the block, Omicron which has proved its power affecting so many of us. Despite vaccinations too.

New Year’s Day.

I like to get out and about even for a drive and this time, I needed to go to the southern end of the Central Coast, to Spotlight for a click and collect, and after I did that, I ventured into Coles nearby and came out with prized treasures…..

A 5 Pack of Rapid Antigen Tests ($50) and 3 bananas.

I continued not to feel 100% as we say, so took things pretty easily and I do love my drives but I knew my limits.

I loved visiting a very quiet Woy Woy on 1 January and I got to have a little walk around to the water’s edge. Some changes have been made to the ferry terminal and I loved seeing these two flags flying at the CWA. Country Women’s Association.

Over the early days of January we watched some cricket ( OK, B did, I just got updates) and I blogged a bit, and created a bit and tried to get a rhythm into my new:

Self Compassion Focus.

It’s 28 day via an app and very helpful and professionally done. I continue to learn more about the value of compassion to self…first…but life long learnings take time to undo. I listen to a ‘lesson’ each nigth, complete gratitude lists, write in a journal, map my feelings too.

In conjunction with my two Daily Calm Practices and reading up via others’ websites, I am doing quite well. However, a virus, as my GP tells me will play tricks with mood and thoughts so I need to balance that knowledge when considering how I am actually feeling.

And getting out and about remains a goal each day even though it is no longer within a shopping centre for any kind of browsing time. I mostly go locally to nature to observe, take in the beauty and surrounds and breathe deeply to remember what IS important…life is!

 

And then there were these memories from January 2022.

Family Time Was Special.

It was hard to believe that it was one year on from last year’s Golden Wedding Anniversary and now we would be seeing our family back at our place again. Not everyone could come but we has a ‘full house’ of love, sharing and laughter with both of our adult kids, our daughter’s two (2 adult aged ones were not able to come) and our son’s four.

FOOD: well, I always like to share the home made and other food with a large and appreciative group. I made lasagne from a great recipe I found here. Hadn’t made lasagne for years and it was a ‘just right’ hit for all ages. Home made friend rice, some salad, bread, chicken from the supermarket and a few treats. Of course, I have treats…and take home bags as well. We see these young kids so infrequently now it’s fun to make memories as we did.

NOISE! Yes, it was, but the best kind. Kids having fun, sharing their stories and amusing their grandparents too. A Big Task at each visit is for Papa to measure the young ones to see how they have grown. One, Mr 21, goes way past his Papa now, and off the chart: literally! But he sure could amuse everyone with his keyboard skills and we had a ‘jam session’ that I captured between the laughter. He IS Firelite and a DJ and he is signed up to a label so he is doing well and just announced, he is booked to play in Croatia and has plans for travel!

Then this:

Grandsons at Play…& chat…& no soccer balls over the fence!

And an updated family shot with our son and daughter: grateful for their permission to share.

And some of the distractions I have been using to help time pass…as I wait for…time to pass! Because, sometimes that IS all we can do….

And never missing a session in the morning and in the evening of Calm. These are not double up days. Just one day with 2 meditations on each. Over 2 years in a row. No way could I miss it and in uncertain times like I am having now, even moreso!

Colouring My World is also a daily essential…in photos and art!

 

Whilst the 26th January can mean different things to the people of Australia, I chose to spend it this way.

 

27th January is a special anniversary for ME!

The day I began my teaching career here at Barraba Central School. About 7 hours from Sydney. Mum & Dad drove me up with all of my belongings and saw me settled into a share house with other teachers from the school. Dad tells me Mum cried all the way home. I said to him recently “until you are a mum, you have no idea”. True.

And as January came to a close, this happened.

I eventually got back to Dee Why to see my father, who turned 98 on 11 January. He has been quite well and just a little  lonely but also not wanting to do much at all as he is very restricted with mobility and vision. He misses reading but he can see some things like photos and people if they are near him. He was a very social person but prefers to be in his unit now and have just a few visitors.

I drive down, stopping at St Ives Showground for a loo break and then down Mona Vale Road, to the back roads down to Narrabeen (my bro lives there) through Collaroy and into Dee Why. I have morning tea for us with me, and a pack of frozen meals for him made by me. And conversation.

Wanted to show me he’d moved a fave piece of Mum’s here & reminded me, I painted the poppy and wrote out the poem “On Flanders Fields” as Dad’s father fought there.

We are both talkers and sharers of stories so we are well matched…and he is getting better at listening…

And on the last weekend of January….

And a little sharing here of what I have been up to in January creatively:

You know the line from Hamilton is “I’ve got to be in the room where it happens”….well, this is my room/space where the blog happens! And more.

And the finale….we get to stay on as tenants here until at least April 2023. The rent went up significantly BUT we hope if real estate prices ever settle, then it may not be as big a change after then….but I am supposed to be not thinking too far ahead, right?

Wishing all the kids going back to school, starting school and those off to High School my very best…this lovely one is off to H.S. to join her brother, and it’s where her older cousins attended too. We cared for her from 5 months 3 days a week…sigh!

Miss 5 explores the water at Long Reef before  she started school in 2015.

How was your January?

Denyse.

Life This Week. #276. 31.1.2022.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a kind thing to do!

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* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

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Telling My Story.Chapter Nineteen. 2010-2012. 93/2020.

Telling My Story. 2010-2012. Chapter Nineteen. 93/2020.

About a hundred three years ago ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author (her story is here) that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed.

Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at...Chapter Nineteen.

I admitted last chapter  it is getting harder in some ways to blog about the more recent times. I think it is because without using particular markers (i.e. deaths, births, engagements, marriages, break ups…) then it can be hard to recall.

So, in keeping with my ethical approach to all things, I am making the chapters about MY recollections to various changes in life for me, and us, and life as we knew it. I hope I can continue sharing the story without any intentionally negative or hurtful references to others who are in my life as friends and family members.

I have a goal to continue to present at least one more of these chapters, after this one,   this year, have a break and be back in 2021.

All the posts are here if you would like to check them out.

Photo: #7 for Telling My Story.

2010, 2011, 2012.

The group of these three years are somewhat mixed up  for me in a chronological sense. I would possibly be making factual errors if I tried now to assign a month/year to an event or memory or significance. So, I will do this chapter with what were highlights, new and memories from this era.

No More Work in Schools.

I really knew when to go. In fact, I wrote last chapter by the time I got to 4th term of the year I turned 60 (2009) I was tired and ready to leave working in schools. Much had changed but much was also wearying. I no longer had the mental interest and physical stamina to be contributing member of a school staff. I also was aware that at my age and stage I did not want to be a negative influence either, so with grace and at the right timing for me, I retired to become:

Grandma (and Papa) Grandchild Carer.

As someone who actively resisted any call to stay at home for more than some months when I was a full time teacher seeking promotion, I had a different ‘take’ when it was about the offspring of those two of ours. This time around it would be our son’s two children – one a toddler getting to be a pre-schooler, and one a baby. We would begin care for up to 3 days a week for these two. Honestly, I have never been more physically tired but in such a good way.

It really was a fun time. The shops which sold kids and baby toys and more, did well out of me and we had an ideal set up for a child in a bed and one in a cot to be with us. I duplicated bottles, nappies and always had a ready supply of changes of clothes, along with a highchair, a stroller and much much more.

The two would be brought by whichever parent was coming our way in the mornings. Drop offs could be tricky. We did have tears a few times, even though we had practice stays but at time went on, things eased. We (the grandparents) got into our routine with the children too. There were stories with Papa while I did other things, and we convinced them for as long as possible that sleeps after lunch were mandatory because WE needed the break too.

 

The days of care changed from time to time and some days, as the children got older, we would also care for our daughter’s youngest. Honestly, 3 were hard work but we did it. For one term. One of these children is now in High School…and one goes next year, and the youngest in the group will be in primary school. What is it they say about time flying?

Denyse Needs Something Else To Do.

I have always been an early adopter. I had an on/off relationship with Facebook but twitter was my place to be and I met so many people there, and then via blogging from 2010 who continue to be friends and we have met up. I enjoyed the conversations on twitter that took me to new places, called blogs! So, by the end of 2010 – coming up ten years in December, I kicked off my foray into blogging.

Sadly I had to pay someone to set it up and then I had no real clue what to do other than post something. I did. Pretty sure I knew nothing about how to get others to read it. And then came (via twitter of course!) the information that there was going to be the First Ever Aussie Bloggers’ Conference. I hesitated thinking I was not really eligible and then with encouragement from the founder, I dived in. I attended the conference of two nights and one day in Sydney. This started me well on my way to…

Denyse Whelan Blogs.

So in the three years 2010-2012 the Australian (Mummy, then) Blogging Community grew and grew…there were events for bloggers run to help us understand sponsorship, brands and it was BIG learning for many of us and we then thought, a chance to MAKE some money from this thing called blogging….wow.

But not for many, in fact anyone like me did that happen. I did however, get some sponsorship to attend a Blogging conference in Melbourne – flights and accommodation. I was not really the demographic..in fact I was (still am) the oldest blogger in most cases. I was always made to feel welcome and enjoyed the connections. I think in 2011 I attended at least 4 blogging events and again a chance to learn and meet up with people.

From my previous career in schools I learned more about others and was no longer only about schooling and education. I have, as I said, made great friends via blogging and many I got to meet not only at the conferences but sometimes at sponsors’ events where I was invited to a promotion and with gifts of products (mine were often related to children’s learning) to blog about.

Over these years I did try a range of types of blogging and got my head around link ups and more. But what I needed was a blog developer and I got this in the form of meeting with the kind person who (still) looks after any aspects of my blog in a technical way. It took me some money and more understanding to get this blog thing something that worked for me. I then got on with all I could do and learn from others. Took me to Melbourne 3 times in that period.

Life Challenges and Great Memories Made With Young Grandkids.

In this three year period, my husband was not well. He has had a pretty tough road in terms of medical challenges because his body has many parts that do not work well…mostly related to his spine. He was medically retired from teaching aged 30. That is part of the story for year 1978.

Now, even more so at the time of writing he does have medical challenges….

However, back then, erroneously, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease by a specialist and the day that happened was the day he was forced by those words to stop driving, hand in his licence and basically given medications that she and his psychiatrist deemed appropriate for his now PD on top of spinal stenosis and chronic pain.

He, along with me, was devastated but, as we DID then, we went along with this awful news. The medications he was on affected him cognitively and it was not a great outcome for quality of life.

He did, however, always question the actual diagnoses and through his actions and those of  a new GP made great inroads into changes of medications. Eventually he sought a second opinion on the PD from a specialist neurologist who claimed he had only an essential tremor and as none of the PD meds had made  any difference, it was not Parkinsons disease.

The GP and my husband then worked on the plan to get his driver’s licence reinstated and that in itself was a costly experience – around $700 back then and a day in a rehab hospital. Honestly, the patience this man had. Anyway, he got it back. He tried to tell the first neurologist of her error but she was not interested.

What a shame. This is a prime example of why HE now is his own medical expert and his now health is kept in line with his conditions thanks to an excellent team of his GP and other specialist.

LOVE is….50 years together

Scenes with some of our grandchildren…who are, indeed, significantly older too. These are the best of times. Always. We may have been tired out physically but never emotionally.

Highlights of Significance From Family Life. 

  • Dad had found living in the original family home, alone, since Mum’s death 4 years earlier more and more of a challenge.
  • He decided to sell, and did in 2011. In a down market unfortunately. He helped us financially to be able to stay in our house for an additional 4 years.
  • He moved to a brand new Independent Retirement Place at Dee Why and almost 10 years later, remains there and as well as he can be for almost 97.
  • Our daughter was in a new relationship and with that person (now not together) sold her townhouse and with him, made plans to build and buy their own to live in with their extended family. This was OK for a while but from late 2012 things changed. No details, as I cannot share them nor do I want to.
  • Our son married his then partner and the two grandkids were ‘corralled’ by me for most of that long, hot day in the beautiful setting at Gunner Barracks.
  • We cared for the children for part of their honeymoon time too.
  • My husband’s dad, whose wife had died in 2009, sadly lost his life by the end of 2012.
  • I began some contract work with NSW Institute of Teachers as an External Observer and that took me, often by plane, to schools all over N.S.W. from 2012-2015.
  • Grandchildren were growing up and attending primary and high school. We had less to do with our eldest 3 then but they still had overnight stays from time to time. And we did have a pool!
  • Family functions continued: birthdays and the like.
  • Over time, Christmas became more complicated to try to ‘fit everyone’ in so we often compromised the the big Christmas Days of the past were gone.

More About Me.

Whilst I was busy, busy, busy, I did not do a lot of healthy self-care that helped me. Actually my version of self-care usually involved comfort eating, shopping and taking some time out for me. In fact, none of it really helped someone whose self-esteem was pretty low. I had a few reasons to be less than confident about myself I guess:

  • never measuring up (in my eyes) to my parents’ expectations
  • not finishing my job as a principal
  • taking comfort to deal with the worries from my life as a wife, mother and grandmother
  • trying my best to be the confident me in public…and doing that well…but the inner me needed soothing

I was aware my weight was at a not-great level for my on-going health. I also did not want to talk about it or do anything about it much. I had a couple of tries at losing weight over my lifetime and wrote about that here.

I had some health issues that included Irritable Bowel Syndrome (diarrhoea) which let me know when my emotions were not in balance and I had a bout of pancreatitis a couple of years earlier which I did not want to repeat. Nevertheless, I did my best to ‘look OK’ even though when I see the images now, I am very overweight.

I have a great deal of concern and sadness for me, the Denyse then, as I believe(d) I was doing the best I could.

Self-compassion, as I write this in 2020 in evident now.

Nothing like perspective and personal growth (the mental and emotional kind!)

In 2012 I met up with blogging friends and loved this connection! Still have that here and in real life as well as social media. Very grateful.

And, there are a few more memories from this period.

And that ends the memories from this era.

I will be back!

Chapter Twenty is 2013-2014 will go live before the end of this calendar year.

Thanks for your kind words about Telling My Story, too!

Anyone notice I have changed the image for this group?

Here’s all I have used since starting Telling My Story.

Photo (#1) For Telling My Story.

Photo (#2) post major cancer surgeries.

Photo (#3) After getting my upper prosthesis.

Photo (#4)Post: retirement medal presentation late 2018.

Photo #6. Mother’s Day 2020

Denyse.

Joining with blogging friend Leanne and others here too. Thanks for the link up!

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26/51#LifeThisWeek.Telling My Story. Chapter Sixteen. 2004-06.52/2020.

26/51#LifeThisWeek.Telling My Story.2004-2006.Chapter Sixteen.52/2020.

So, about a hundred three years ago ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author (her story is here) that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed. Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at…drum roll… Chapter Sixteen.

With yet another photo of me because I keep changing my appearance…thanks to head and neck cancer, then cataract surgeries.

The most recent chapter, finalised how my first and significant career in New South Wales Department of Education ended. Sadly but there was a need for my health to improve and that it did.

L: NSW Teachers’ Federation Badge. R: N.S.W. Primary Principals Ass. Membership Badge.

Why was 2004 memorable?

I went back to school! As a teacher. But first, there is MORE!

I spent quite a bit of summer 2004 recovering from the broken right leg and receiving physiotherapy to get me walking again. We were a two-person household as our adult son had moved in with a friend. I had S P A C E to call mine, and claimed his old room for an art-craft one for me. It also doubled as a grandchild-sleepover space where we installed double bunks and these were in regular use.

My husband, whilst not in the best of health, started to enjoy his music and had a space in the house for that and part  all of the garage eventually morphed into a workshop. We had two vehicles but we were soon to add some home improvements but wait, I am getting ahead of myself.

Around the middle of what would be Term One in schools, I started to feel a restlessness within and to be honest a NEED to do something related to teaching. Having over a year away from schools to try my hand at volunteering and to get better health-wise, the thoughts grew that I probably needed to get my casual teaching availability sorted and out there to my principal friends.

“Would You Like Two Days a Week From Next Term?”

We lived in Glenwood, a suburb on former dairy land in Sydney’s northwest. My friend, D, and I had been colleagues for many years and I heard that the brand new school at a brand new suburb just 10 minutes drive away was where she was the foundation principal. I rang and she said ” come over and have a look at it, love to see you”. I did, with a version of a casual teacher resume in my bag.

After a tour in a modern, private/public built school we sat in her office and I began speaking about wanting to come back to teaching. She knew of what had happened to me at R.P.S. and in fact was one who stayed in touch initially. Before I could say much more, I received an offer, to start Term 2, doing 2 days a week Release From Face To Face Teaching for all of the SEVEN classes (K-6) the school then comprised. By the time I left the school in 2010 the student population had exploded from our original 156 to around 700…and since went close to 1000…if you know the now-densely populated North West area of Sydney, this will not surprise you.

Yes, thank you…that would be great. I asked what I should teach in that time. Her reply was ‘up to me’ and in a complete switch for me, I chose Creative Arts: art, drama and music.

Back to School. As a teacher.

On the first day of Term Two 2004,  the day after our second granddaughter turned 5 (huge party with jumping castle and I did face painting) I presented myself to the school…and the first group I would be teaching. Year 6. Now, this was still a very small school and the teachers were incredibly welcoming and friendly. I remain friends with many today. However, Year 6, first up took some courage but I did it. The thing about a brand new school is that the kids in the upper grades have come from different schools with different expectations. I did have some kids who tried me (behavioural and attitude) but we managed. After that baptism, I had the rest of the day…and I think I returned on the Tuesday as my 2nd day. I do recall being on Cross Country duty too as the kids ran around the then spacious grounds.

When a new school opens in a new neighbourhood there are children presenting to enrol every week and over time, this position grew to 3 days a week. By the end of that year however, I got a different role and loved this one even more.

Before I move on. The school had its official opening and that was a privilege to be part of. Some of the work I had done as the R.F.F. teacher in Art and Craft also involved Aboriginal Education (I had some expertise from my previous schools) and the Year 6 group performed at the opening using clapping sticks made by my husband.

The principal now had someone on her staff who she could confide in and even offload on but she did not do this much at all. However from time to time she would ask me “how come you are always so happy?” My answer was, she had seen my need to be back teaching and I was loving it as well as being a mentor of sorts to some …but I no longer had the full responsibility which weighed heavily when I was a principal.

The English as A Second Language Teacher. Me! 2005 & 2006.

I was always a teacher of literacy at heart, and loved working with children at the entry level of school. It made sense then for me to turn what I loved to do into a role I could deepen for myself and the school when there was growing student population of students whose second language was English.

I was able to set up the program, a space for the students and to develop the school’s programs. This was an important part of my role and being a former principal something I knew a lot about. What I did need to learn more about was the ‘how’ and ‘what’ of teaching English to a range of learners. Some were literally just stepping ‘off the plane’ as we used to say, and others had been in Australia speaking and learning English at previous schools.

The ‘language’ of teaching in this field has changed in the past 5+ years so I will use what I remember. The students were assessed, if needed, by me upon enrolment in whichever year they were entering. For example a student coming into Kindergarten and one coming into Year 5 might still be classed as ‘new arrivals’ if they had no understanding of English and would need, at separate times to being in class, some one-on-one or very small group learning.

To that end, I enrolled in a Post-Graduate Certificate in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) at Charles Sturt University. Part-time and on-line with lots of practical work I could do with the students. This was a great way for me to add to my qualifications and hopefully, as time passed, get appointed to the school in 2007 as the substantive E.S.L. teacher. In the next chapter, I will share what happened.

Flexibility and a program that helped teachers integrate the students into their classes was important and I did all I could on the 3 days allocated to the program – always by student numbers – that year. The school’s population grew and grew, in 2006 there was a need to employ another person like me on a temporary basis. I was not permanently appointed, even though, over time, I hoped that might occur. More on that in the next chapter. 2007 was a big year for me. In many ways.

Family Times, House with ‘New’Mortgage & My First Trip O.S.

Despite the fact that we were now mortgage-free, see chapter fifteen, we became tempted to use the house as collateral for home improvements. Yes, people, we not only were tempted, we went ahead. The house benefitted with the enclosure of the outdoor room and adding air conditioning to it so it was a useable space, a carport, added driveways and landscaping out the front and back. This all helped at the time for our enjoyment. Much later in terms of selling, we had added value but the outstanding mortgage was paid out at the time of sale in 2015, bought new cars (much needed, old ones were literally ‘dying’)  but we did not have enough after that to buy a house on the Central Coast. This has, as it turns out, not been too bad as we have found a couple of options where we may wish, one day, to buy a house. For now, we are, like many, more comfortable as renters in the lovely, modern house we are in now.

Family times in those years became busier in some ways as the first group of grandchildren were changing in terms of ‘growing up’ and starting school. We attended Open Days, School Assemblies, Musicals and other events when possible. We took our two eldest granddaughters on a family holiday to Ballina which was fun and they got to meet some of their extended family and see where Papa grew up and went to school.

We welcomed partners into the family and life continued getting to know extended family members, and share in occasions, as well as support new ventures such as a return to study for one of our kids, with eventually University degree completed and more to come. One adult child continued in teaching part-time and we offered weekend/evening/afternoon respite for the kids in her busy times of responsibilities at school and beyond.

For some time I guess I did consider travelling overseas but never really got the chance. Then my plan was hatched and by crikey, I love a plan. To organise, the research and to find out more..blah blah. It was always going to be a solo trip. The plane ride for my husband of just on 3 hours in 2003 was the deal breaker for him as I wrote last chapter. He couldn’t accompany me. However, I was actually OK to give solo travel a go in a bigger way. I had already done some shorter trips and small breaks away within Australia so I looked at what I thought I could manage flight time wise, and where I was interested in visiting. It was to the U.S.of A.’s west coast but mainly the state of Hawaii I wanted to see. Dad and Mum had been there many times following Dad’s first visit when he was part of Harvard Business Summer School for 6 weeks in 1966.

With meticulous care and with the help of Flight Centre I booked 15 days away from 1 January 2006 to 15 January. Flights on Hawaiian Air, were marvellous and I joined their Premier Club to get preferential seating, extra luggage allowance and use of Lounges at LAX and Oahu. Brilliant. But, I almost went home from Mascot (our airport) before I left.

New Year’s Day in Sydney 2006 the temperature was 45deg. There was no air con working at the airport. My flight was not leaving till 10 pm. I was dropped off at the airport by my daughter…allowing plenty of time and it was actually ‘too much’ time. I was SO hot and over it..but stayed until check in could start…and when as a priority boarder I got to my window seat (then the aeroplane was 2,3,2 in economy)and sat, the aloha music and air con working….I sighed with relief. I probably need to expand this story separately but it went like this: Syd:Oahu, 3 nights. Oahu to Kona 2 nights. Kona to Oahu & onto LAX 2 nights, LAX to Las Vegas 2 nights, LV to SanFran 2 nights. SF to LAX back to Oahu 3 nights…and H O M E.

My Parents. 

In the latter part of 2006 my parents celebrated their Diamond Wedding Anniversary (60 years wed) with a couple of small at-home celebrations with friends, and a family lunch in a local restaurant with their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren on the following weekend.

I went to their house on the actual day with 60 yellow roses from the local Dural Rose Growers, and Dad already had the cards I had organised from Queen Elizabeth II, the Governor-General, the Premier of N.S.W. and…for Mum especially, my brother organised a ‘congratulations to long time listeners, N & A,’ message on 2GB from Alan Jones. Mum loved it. And he was kind.

Mum had not been well for a couple of years and with an aversion to doctors and investigations, Dad did the best he could to keep her health under check. Mum had some symptoms that appeared to be Parkinson’s related and also a lot of pain in some areas that was put down to be ‘post shingles’ neuralgia.

Mum had a great smile. And she made a lot of effort to do the best she could to look well and co-ordinated, with hairdresser appointments weekly and a pretty regular wardrobe updates. She started to not want to go out much in a lot of 2006 and it became harder to convince her to do so.

Previously Mum had been quite social, independent with her own car and social groups and interests including tennis and cards. But no more. Even their much enjoyed June-July winter stays on the Gold Coast stopped in 2005. But, there were reasons which would not be evident until next chapter: a big one. 2007.

Mum and Dad, taken by me, at the family celebrations for their 60th Wedding Anniversary. November 2006.

 

That is all…that I remember and CAN write about…with confidence of telling my story without giving away too much. It does get tricky with privacy but I have permissions and try to stay within boundaries set by myself and what is reasonable.

For all of the stories to date, please visit this part of the blog. Telling My Story.

I print each post out and have it stored in a folder for family if they wish to read it.

Thanks for reading.

Denyse.

List of Optional Prompts: July & August 2020. On home page too.

27/51 Taking Stock #3 6.7.2020

28/51 Self-Care Stories. #4. 13.7.2020

29/51 Your Choice. Mine is: World Head & Neck Cancer Day. 20.7.2020

30/51 Share Your Snaps #6 27.7.2020

31/51 Food. 3.8.2020

32/51 Why Did I? 10.8.2020

33/51 I Want. 17.8.2020

34/51 Self-Care Stories. #5. 24.8.2020

35/51 Share Your Snaps #7 31.8.2020

Link Up #195.

Life This Week. Link Up #195.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

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* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt.27/51 Taking Stock #3 6.7.2020

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