Wednesday 10th August 2022

Women of Courage Series. #32. Sue Loncaric. 23/2020.

Women of Courage Series. #32. Sue Loncaric. 23/2020.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid-May 2019: Wednesdays: each week until the series concludes in 2020.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

I have never met Sue Loncaric who is a 62 year old woman now living in Queensland. That does not matter of course when we are bloggers…because fellow bloggers always feel like we have known people from their sharing on the blog, facebook and other social media. I do know Sue is a kind-hearted and helpful person who wants to ensure to care of others in her life. I also know how devoted she is to her family. More than that, I got to experience Sue’s care first hand when she sent me a beautiful journal with inspirational cards when I was first diagnosed with head and neck cancer. I will now send you to read on to see why I asked Sue to consider sharing her story as a Woman of Courage.

 

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

Denyse has asked me several times to contribute to her Women of Courage series and I’ve declined each time.  I don’t believe I’ve been courageous in life at all, especially compared to other Women who have featured in her series.

Yet I underestimated Denyse’s inability to accept ‘No’ for an answer.

Denyse’s persistence made me actually stop and look back at my life and revisit times when I had to dig deep for strength.  My courage has been coping with the loss of loved ones, walking way from a marriage, supporting and loving my husband and his parents and later in life pushing myself to achieve my goals.

 

  • I suppose the first time I really needed courage was to face the idea of losing my Mum.  At the age of 53 she was diagnosed with breast cancer and back in the 70s research was still in its infancy so we had no idea what to expect.  I was 18 at the time and I couldn’t imagine a life without my Mum.  Neither could Mum!  She battled on for 10 years, showing courage, determination and never complaining.  Losing my Mum was devastating as she was the most beautiful soul I had ever known and she certainly left a huge gap in my life.

 

  • The next test was losing my Dad when I was 24.  He had just retired and was looking forward to spending time and caring for Mum and her cancer battle.  However, 6 months later he was gone.  Bowel cancer had claimed him.  My strength was tested this time because he died a month before my first child was born.  I remember him wanting to see the baby but he was in so much pain I told him not to hold on and he died that night.

 

  • Walking away from a marriage wasn’t easy but I found the strength to do this.  It wasn’t anyone’s fault but I still feel guilty although I know the decision was right.  This was a time when I also walked away from family and friends so again experienced loss.  Fortunately, I was able to reconnect many years later and cherish those close to me.

 

  • My courage and strength were tested again in 2000 when my husband had a heart attack resulting in emergency triple by-pass surgery.  The doctor had advised me to go to work as they wouldn’t be operating for a few days.  However, a few hours later I was called back as a clot was blocking his artery and a nurse actually told me to ‘prepare myself’. You certainly take for granted that loved ones are always going to be there and fortunately 19 years later my darling is still with me.

 

  • Losing my brother 3 years ago to cancer at the age of 65 was a time that taught me it is never too late to make amends. For some reason we had not spoken for over 30 years and he lived in another country.  I am so grateful that his daughter arranged for us to speak before he died.

 

  • I’ve supported my darling husband through his PTSD issues and likewise he has been my biggest cheerleader.  Together we put our lives on hold to care for his parents.  What was supposed to be short term, became our lives for 11 years. We now have our lives back but I wonder sometimes if there is enough time to do all we want to do together.

 

  • In recent times I’ve needed the courage to achieve my personal goals – running two full marathons at 55 and 61, starting my blog when I retired almost 5 years ago (who would really want to read what I had to say), continuing to try to motivate and aspire others to achieve their goals when I’m not feeling great myself some days.

It can be so easy to give up when the ‘going gets tough’ but pushing through brings satisfaction.  Being a driven person can sometimes be a curse as well as a good quality to have.

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

I think that going through all of these experiences has given me resilience to cope with what life throws my way.  I still don’t feel that I’ve done anything more than others would have done in similar situations but perhaps we sometimes downplay the situation.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

We all have an inner strength that we don’t know exists until we are tested. The other learning is that there are always people willing to support you if you are open to accepting their help.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

Yes, I believe I am more courageous mainly because I am older and have experienced many different situations in my life.  Once you prove to yourself you have the strength then you really can cope with anything.

At the time of writing this I am at the crossroads again and need to make some difficult decisions on my future direction.  This will take courage and strength to actually do what I tell others to do and that is letting go of what I don’t want in my life and moving forward without guilt or regret.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

I wondered how to answer this question and then thought about What does it mean to be courageous? I found this quote which I think sums it up perfectly.

“Scared is what you’re feeling. Brave is what you’re doing.”
― Emma Donoghue, Room

 

What a story Sue has shared. I was right in pursuing Sue to contribute was I not? Thank you Sue. For sharing and for helping others along the way. I am also grateful to you and fellow blogger Leanne at Cresting the Hill for having a Wednesday weekly Link Up for Midlife Share The Love Bloggers. Today, this post will be shared there by me.

Denyse.

 

Social Media

Your Blog: https://www.sizzlingtowardssixty.com.au

Your facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/sizzlingtowards60/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Sizzling60

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sizzlingtowards60andbeyond/

 

 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends.

Copyright © 2020 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

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Women of Courage Series. #31. Cathy. 21/2020.

Women of Courage Series. #31. Cathy. 21/2020.

 

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid-May 2019: Wednesdays: each week until the series concludes in 2020.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

 

Like other women who chose to take part in this series after I sent through a request, Cathy is someone I know “virtually”. She’s been a blogger, on social media and a writer. We have one common bond too. I was born in the city where she now lives. Cathy, I thank you for deciding to be able to share your story here and honour the way in which you drew on courage to do so. Here is Cathy, aged 48, answering the now familiar questions as part of the response to being a Woman of Courage.

 

image by: https://www.instagram.com/jam.on.your.collar.photography/

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

When my grandparents died. It was a sudden and traumatic time in everyone’s lives. We got that phone call at about 1am to tell my mum that her parents had died in a tragic car accident. I was 18. My parents at the time were running their own business and at 1am in the morning in the early 90s there were no mobile phones and no way of contacting anyone else to run the shop. They had a newsagency and at the time there was a legal requirement that every day that a newspaper was printed the newsagency had to be open. So this meant that I along with my brother had to stay at home and run the shop until we could locate someone to do it for us. The hardest thing I have ever had to do is put my parents in a car and say goodbye to them knowing my grand parents had died in a car accident. At the time we didn’t know when we would see mum & dad again. We joined them on the Saturday.

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

This forever changed me. I found a strength that I didn’t know I had. I knew that if I could do that I could face anything in the future and that as it turns out was a courage I would need time and again throughout the next few years and beyond.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

Ask for help. Put your hand up and tell people what you are going through and that you need your friends. Anyone can face anything if you have people you love alongside you. It is part of the human condition to want to be there for others but as is the nature of our lives today we are both more connected (through the socials) yet more disconnected than ever before. So people will stand back and wait to be asked when I believe a generation ago they would have just arrived on the doorstep.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

Absolutely. I have had to more times than I would like since then be courageous and each time it gets a little bit easier. I know that I survived the last time so I know I can get through this next time. I have learned to be much better at asking for help too. Asking is not a sign of weakness it is a recognition that with others around you it is easier to get through.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

That you absolutely do not have to do it along. You will be surprised at how much love and support you have around you. We all think we are Robinson Crusoe and doing it alone but we simply don’t have to be. People want to be there for you but as is part of life today they will stand back and wait until you ask or invite them in. Don’t leave it so long that it is awkward or has become too hard to ask.

 

Do add anything else that you think would help others who read your post.

I live by sharing my story because I have learnt that the more we share the less alone we feel. So share your story. As I say “don’t be afraid of your story, it will inspire others.”

 

Thank you. What great words to end this story…I too agree with Cathy about sharing our stories.

Denyse

 

 

Social Media:

Blog/Website: lifethroughthehaze.com

Twitter: @lifehazey

Facebook Page : facebook.com/lifethroughthehaze

Instagram: instagram.com/lifethroughthehaze

 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends.

Copyright © 2020 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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