Monday 6th July 2020

Half Way. 2020. Year of Gratitude. 53.1/2020.

Half Way. 2020. Year of Gratitude. 53.1/2020.

Who knew how 2020 was going to be?

No-one I am guessing!!

However as someone who chose “Gratitude” as her word of the year, it is timely for a review.

In January, for the first post of the link up in 2020, I wrote this.

Over the past few years my husband’s words to me often included “what have you been grateful for today?” or “what went well for you today?”. Yes, I could answer him mostly in a positive way but until I had a shift in the form of my own revelations I guess I was paying lip service to gratitude. From time to time, I would think about what I was grateful for and write things down then I would leave it.

I need to add these words that are for me, similar to gratitude and will see me using them:

thankful

blessed (yes, not a joke)

content

grateful

fortunate

I have tied in my second instagram account to this blog, where it posts on the Facebook page for Denyse Whelan Blogs, here, each day of the year to date….using gratitude as my underlying theme. However, over time, I noted some newer ways in which I could be grateful:

noticing

wondering

sensing joy

and so on.

Why the review?

I was starting to feel jaded.

I guess the year itself, COVID as the particularly unwelcome visitor after the summer from hell, then flooding, did not help.

I have also needed to have some physical health matters investigated and that takes a toll. I know I do make the effort to see the good in every day, and to remember what is most important: my life, my partner in life, my family, friends and being safe and well….

Then I thought “is this true?” that I am finding it harder to be grateful?

Sometimes my mind will tell me lies!

Scrolling through this 3.36 minutes of all of the photos from the first 6 months tells me that I could search and find gratitude.

This was added to my YouTube channel via the One Second A Day App I use to collate and share my daily instagram photos.

I will, as they say, continue, my daily gratitude practice!

What are YOU grateful for today?

Denyse.

 

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26/51#LifeThisWeek.Telling My Story. 2004-06.Chapter Sixteen.52/2020.

26/51#LifeThisWeek.Telling My Story.2004-2006.Chapter Sixteen.52/2020.

So, about a hundred three years ago ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author (her story is here) that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed. Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at…drum roll… Chapter Sixteen.

With yet another photo of me because I keep changing my appearance…thanks to head and neck cancer, then cataract surgeries.

The most recent chapter, finalised how my first and significant career in New South Wales Department of Education ended. Sadly but there was a need for my health to improve and that it did.

L: NSW Teachers’ Federation Badge. R: N.S.W. Primary Principals Ass. Membership Badge.

Why was 2004 memorable?

I went back to school! As a teacher. But first, there is MORE!

I spent quite a bit of summer 2004 recovering from the broken right leg and receiving physiotherapy to get me walking again. We were a two-person household as our adult son had moved in with a friend. I had S P A C E to call mine, and claimed his old room for an art-craft one for me. It also doubled as a grandchild-sleepover space where we installed double bunks and these were in regular use.

My husband, whilst not in the best of health, started to enjoy his music and had a space in the house for that and part  all of the garage eventually morphed into a workshop. We had two vehicles but we were soon to add some home improvements but wait, I am getting ahead of myself.

Around the middle of what would be Term One in schools, I started to feel a restlessness within and to be honest a NEED to do something related to teaching. Having over a year away from schools to try my hand at volunteering and to get better health-wise, the thoughts grew that I probably needed to get my casual teaching availability sorted and out there to my principal friends.

“Would You Like Two Days a Week From Next Term?”

We lived in Glenwood, a suburb on former dairy land in Sydney’s northwest. My friend, D, and I had been colleagues for many years and I heard that the brand new school at a brand new suburb just 10 minutes drive away was where she was the foundation principal. I rang and she said ” come over and have a look at it, love to see you”. I did, with a version of a casual teacher resume in my bag.

After a tour in a modern, private/public built school we sat in her office and I began speaking about wanting to come back to teaching. She knew of what had happened to me at R.P.S. and in fact was one who stayed in touch initially. Before I could say much more, I received an offer, to start Term 2, doing 2 days a week Release From Face To Face Teaching for all of the SEVEN classes (K-6) the school then comprised. By the time I left the school in 2010 the student population had exploded from our original 156 to around 700…and since went close to 1000…if you know the now-densely populated North West area of Sydney, this will not surprise you.

Yes, thank you…that would be great. I asked what I should teach in that time. Her reply was ‘up to me’ and in a complete switch for me, I chose Creative Arts: art, drama and music.

Back to School. As a teacher.

On the first day of Term Two 2004,  the day after our second granddaughter turned 5 (huge party with jumping castle and I did face painting) I presented myself to the school…and the first group I would be teaching. Year 6. Now, this was still a very small school and the teachers were incredibly welcoming and friendly. I remain friends with many today. However, Year 6, first up took some courage but I did it. The thing about a brand new school is that the kids in the upper grades have come from different schools with different expectations. I did have some kids who tried me (behavioural and attitude) but we managed. After that baptism, I had the rest of the day…and I think I returned on the Tuesday as my 2nd day. I do recall being on Cross Country duty too as the kids ran around the then spacious grounds.

When a new school opens in a new neighbourhood there are children presenting to enrol every week and over time, this position grew to 3 days a week. By the end of that year however, I got a different role and loved this one even more.

Before I move on. The school had its official opening and that was a privilege to be part of. Some of the work I had done as the R.F.F. teacher in Art and Craft also involved Aboriginal Education (I had some expertise from my previous schools) and the Year 6 group performed at the opening using clapping sticks made by my husband.

The principal now had someone on her staff who she could confide in and even offload on but she did not do this much at all. However from time to time she would ask me “how come you are always so happy?” My answer was, she had seen my need to be back teaching and I was loving it as well as being a mentor of sorts to some …but I no longer had the full responsibility which weighed heavily when I was a principal.

The English as A Second Language Teacher. Me! 2005 & 2006.

I was always a teacher of literacy at heart, and loved working with children at the entry level of school. It made sense then for me to turn what I loved to do into a role I could deepen for myself and the school when there was growing student population of students whose second language was English.

I was able to set up the program, a space for the students and to develop the school’s programs. This was an important part of my role and being a former principal something I knew a lot about. What I did need to learn more about was the ‘how’ and ‘what’ of teaching English to a range of learners. Some were literally just stepping ‘off the plane’ as we used to say, and others had been in Australia speaking and learning English at previous schools.

The ‘language’ of teaching in this field has changed in the past 5+ years so I will use what I remember. The students were assessed, if needed, by me upon enrolment in whichever year they were entering. For example a student coming into Kindergarten and one coming into Year 5 might still be classed as ‘new arrivals’ if they had no understanding of English and would need, at separate times to being in class, some one-on-one or very small group learning.

To that end, I enrolled in a Post-Graduate Certificate in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) at Charles Sturt University. Part-time and on-line with lots of practical work I could do with the students. This was a great way for me to add to my qualifications and hopefully, as time passed, get appointed to the school in 2007 as the substantive E.S.L. teacher. In the next chapter, I will share what happened.

Flexibility and a program that helped teachers integrate the students into their classes was important and I did all I could on the 3 days allocated to the program – always by student numbers – that year. The school’s population grew and grew, in 2006 there was a need to employ another person like me on a temporary basis. I was not permanently appointed, even though, over time, I hoped that might occur. More on that in the next chapter. 2007 was a big year for me. In many ways.

Family Times, House with ‘New’Mortgage & My First Trip O.S.

Despite the fact that we were now mortgage-free, see chapter fifteen, we became tempted to use the house as collateral for home improvements. Yes, people, we not only were tempted, we went ahead. The house benefitted with the enclosure of the outdoor room and adding air conditioning to it so it was a useable space, a carport, added driveways and landscaping out the front and back. This all helped at the time for our enjoyment. Much later in terms of selling, we had added value but the outstanding mortgage was paid out at the time of sale in 2015, bought new cars (much needed, old ones were literally ‘dying’)  but we did not have enough after that to buy a house on the Central Coast. This has, as it turns out, not been too bad as we have found a couple of options where we may wish, one day, to buy a house. For now, we are, like many, more comfortable as renters in the lovely, modern house we are in now.

Family times in those years became busier in some ways as the first group of grandchildren were changing in terms of ‘growing up’ and starting school. We attended Open Days, School Assemblies, Musicals and other events when possible. We took our two eldest granddaughters on a family holiday to Ballina which was fun and they got to meet some of their extended family and see where Papa grew up and went to school.

We welcomed partners into the family and life continued getting to know extended family members, and share in occasions, as well as support new ventures such as a return to study for one of our kids, with eventually University degree completed and more to come. One adult child continued in teaching part-time and we offered weekend/evening/afternoon respite for the kids in her busy times of responsibilities at school and beyond.

For some time I guess I did consider travelling overseas but never really got the chance. Then my plan was hatched and by crikey, I love a plan. To organise, the research and to find out more..blah blah. It was always going to be a solo trip. The plane ride for my husband of just on 3 hours in 2003 was the deal breaker for him as I wrote last chapter. He couldn’t accompany me. However, I was actually OK to give solo travel a go in a bigger way. I had already done some shorter trips and small breaks away within Australia so I looked at what I thought I could manage flight time wise, and where I was interested in visiting. It was to the U.S.of A.’s west coast but mainly the state of Hawaii I wanted to see. Dad and Mum had been there many times following Dad’s first visit when he was part of Harvard Business Summer School for 6 weeks in 1966.

With meticulous care and with the help of Flight Centre I booked 15 days away from 1 January 2006 to 15 January. Flights on Hawaiian Air, were marvellous and I joined their Premier Club to get preferential seating, extra luggage allowance and use of Lounges at LAX and Oahu. Brilliant. But, I almost went home from Mascot (our airport) before I left.

New Year’s Day in Sydney 2006 the temperature was 45deg. There was no air con working at the airport. My flight was not leaving till 10 pm. I was dropped off at the airport by my daughter…allowing plenty of time and it was actually ‘too much’ time. I was SO hot and over it..but stayed until check in could start…and when as a priority boarder I got to my window seat (then the aeroplane was 2,3,2 in economy)and sat, the aloha music and air con working….I sighed with relief. I probably need to expand this story separately but it went like this: Syd:Oahu, 3 nights. Oahu to Kona 2 nights. Kona to Oahu & onto LAX 2 nights, LAX to Las Vegas 2 nights, LV to SanFran 2 nights. SF to LAX back to Oahu 3 nights…and H O M E.

My Parents. 

In the latter part of 2006 my parents celebrated their Diamond Wedding Anniversary (60 years wed) with a couple of small at-home celebrations with friends, and a family lunch in a local restaurant with their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren on the following weekend.

I went to their house on the actual day with 60 yellow roses from the local Dural Rose Growers, and Dad already had the cards I had organised from Queen Elizabeth II, the Governor-General, the Premier of N.S.W. and…for Mum especially, my brother organised a ‘congratulations to long time listeners, N & A,’ message on 2GB from Alan Jones. Mum loved it. And he was kind.

Mum had not been well for a couple of years and with an aversion to doctors and investigations, Dad did the best he could to keep her health under check. Mum had some symptoms that appeared to be Parkinson’s related and also a lot of pain in some areas that was put down to be ‘post shingles’ neuralgia.

Mum had a great smile. And she made a lot of effort to do the best she could to look well and co-ordinated, with hairdresser appointments weekly and a pretty regular wardrobe updates. She started to not want to go out much in a lot of 2006 and it became harder to convince her to do so.

Previously Mum had been quite social, independent with her own car and social groups and interests including tennis and cards. But no more. Even their much enjoyed June-July winter stays on the Gold Coast stopped in 2005. But, there were reasons which would not be evident until next chapter: a big one. 2007.

Mum and Dad, taken by me, at the family celebrations for their 60th Wedding Anniversary. November 2006.

 

That is all…that I remember and CAN write about…with confidence of telling my story without giving away too much. It does get tricky with privacy but I have permissions and try to stay within boundaries set by myself and what is reasonable.

For all of the stories to date, please visit this part of the blog. Telling My Story.

I print each post out and have it stored in a folder for family if they wish to read it.

Thanks for reading.

Denyse.

List of Optional Prompts: July & August 2020. On home page too.

27/51 Taking Stock #3 6.7.2020

28/51 Self-Care Stories. #4. 13.7.2020

29/51 Your Choice. Mine is: World Head & Neck Cancer Day. 20.7.2020

30/51 Share Your Snaps #6 27.7.2020

31/51 Food. 3.8.2020

32/51 Why Did I? 10.8.2020

33/51 I Want. 17.8.2020

34/51 Self-Care Stories. #5. 24.8.2020

35/51 Share Your Snaps #7 31.8.2020

Link Up #195.

Life This Week. Link Up #195.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

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Share Your Snaps #5. 25/51 #LifeThisWeek. 50/2020.

Share Your Snaps #5. 25/51 #LifeThisWeek. 50/2020.

Dear Bloggers and Readers,

We are, almost, at the half-way mark of this year. What a year…as they say.

2 0 2 0

Happy Summer to my Northern Hemisphere readers….and Happy Shortest Day(s) of The Year to those of us in the South.

In Australia, we thought we were being battered as the long, hot and awful Summer of fires continued…without a break.

Smoky skies – even away from the fires.

Then sometime in February we also had, from memory, flooding rains. Good ole Australia.

Mid week locally. Some roads were cut. Lake at Gorokan.

But then…

None of us, worldwide, were well-prepared with what came from March 2020 onward in many countries: (and is still around and will be…till there is a vaccine)

C O R O N A V I R U S: COVID-19.

Post COVID-19 test – negative.

It was and IS the virus that stopped the world as we knew it being and doing what we knew….and we became enmeshed in various ways by sanctions, lockdowns, quarantines, and much more. Stories in the news can tell us what we felt. However, during this time, as I posted last week, we also noticed kindness and were heartened by that.

 

Today, I am showcasing a range of experiences visually….and may not be back to comment for a bit. Off to have a (wait for it…..) colonoscopy later today and given what I recall of the last one 10 years ago, I will be, ahem, incapacitated temporarily.

 

Onward: to photos!

Always a good idea. I also needed a trip down memory lane…of what it was like, to W A I T (and W O R R Y) before my first head and neck cancer surgery in July 2017.

These images, are from the ‘distractions by me photo collection’ as I waited for the news that surgery could go ahead on 6 July 2017.

The memories of that time are helping me as I write this, pre-Monday’s procedure that I have done this kind of thing before…and emerged with lessons from life, learned.

What do you do to distract yourself?

I know I like to do some of this:

Before Monday, on the most magical winter day, I visited the lake near Toukley. My favourite look from nature is the reflections. Here’s a short video….

…because, hey, I am getting better at Youtube.

Are you getting out and about more these days?

Denyse.

Link Up #194.

Life This Week. Link Up #194.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

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* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt.26/51 Best Time Of Day. (my post not on prompt) is a new Chapter of Telling My Story.)  29.6.2020

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Share Your Snaps. #4. 20/51 #LifeThisWeek. 40/2020.

Share Your Snaps. #4. 20/51 #LifeThisWeek. 40/2020.

Every 5th Week, We Share Our Snaps!

My recent weeks in photos and one retro photo too.

Three collages from examples of my ‘draw’ something every day challenge: 2nd lot of 30 days under COVID-19 life restriction. Started 9 March with  30 flowers (1 a day from 9 March) and began this one: inside same sized circles each day till 8 May)

Out into nature somewhere is my goal most days.

Then there is this….

Celebrating via facetime….Happy 21st to our second granddaughter…

What is next?

I wanted more colour in pots so spent a bit of time at Bunnings and now have this vista outside the back door.

 

Our street: night after supermoon. Just opened up my iphone 11 Max pro and it did the work.

 

LONGING….to be back at a table, enjoying a coffee, writing in my art journal...Come on Gladys… Hopefully I will have found a fave cafe open by the time this post is live! YES…I had my first double shot small latte in a glass in a cafe I had not visited for 8 week. I was so welcomed back!

 

Autumn arrived

Good News…on the eyes. 

It’s well over 2 months since I had both eyes’ cataracts removed and I got the go-ahead to get some reading glasses. I admit I am still getting used to ‘no glasses’ outside, driving etc (sunglasses back on my head as they used to be in my teens and 20s!) ….reading glasses to keep in my bag $5 at the cheap shop, but I am getting prescription ones for computer use and general reading. Glad OPSM opened up and should be good by end of May. Got them: one pair for the computer and one for general reading..so far OK!

Then this is an important one for me.

My way of marking 2 years of cancer diagnosis, surgeries x 4, treatments x 30+ at the prosthodontist and a LOT of driving up and down the M1 and time…patience required for healing.

3 years since my cancer diagnosis 17 May...wrote more last week…..and on Mother’s Day 2020, with the kind co-operation of my daughter and granddaughters, I got to re-create this:

Mother’s Day 2017: waiting for results from gum biopsy

Mother’s Day 2020: I am well…and relieved to be!

And then there was this. I drove to Dee Why to see Dad after almost 3 months. He is well but missing some of his usual routines which are slowly returning such as scoring at darts. He was happy for a hug on arrival….and asked for another before I left. Touch is what someone misses out on when they are left solo after many years of marriage. He was 94 in top pic: taken when I had just had 4th surgery inside my mouth. The stent pushing my lips out stayed for another 3 months. Dad is 96 and I am 70 now in bottom pic!

Onward….thanking my favourite nurses on International Nurse Appreciation Day.

Left: Lisa: head and neck & lung nurse & friend: Central Coast.

Right: Cate my head and neck surgery’s assistant & all-round awesome woman

Now counting the days till Index Card a Day (I.C.A.D.) starts on 1 June. This is my 7th year as a participant. Details here: 

How is your week shaping up?

Are you out and about more?

Is there a favourite place where you hope to sit for a meal/coffee/chat?

Tell me more!

Denyse.

Link Up #189.

Life This Week. Link Up #189.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! 21/51 Self-Care Stories. #3. 25.5.2020. 

I will be sharing another chapter in Telling My Story instead of self-care this coming week.

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Share Your Snaps #1. 5/51. #LifeThisWeek. 9/2020.

Share Your Snaps #1. 5/51. #LifeThisWeek. 9/2020.

Here we are, fifth week of the link-up already, and it’s time to Share Your Snaps. This optional prompt occurs every 5th week here for Life This Week.

January 2020 has not, in the overall scheme of things, been wonderful for so many people and places. As I prepare this post, it’s late Saturday in NSW on the Central Coast and (fingers crossed) the air-con is working because it’s high 30s outside. Many are doing it much worse than we are, including family who lived back where we used to – it’s around 45deg C there now. I am getting RFS fire updates for NSW on my phone and “know” it is still very nasty out there.

Here’s my January: each has a short story! Of course it does.

A flashback to the end of November when I received the delightful photo book with these lovely grandchildren. Love this so much.

After the success for me of finding something/someone/reason to be grateful for my birthday month of November, I went full-on into gratitude. I wrote about the why here. However, January has really made me work at finding gratitude. I guess, that IS the point. Nothing comes easy. I admit I faltered a bit wondering whether to continue to post a photo each day for 366 days but I am continuing. I also complete a journal entry each evening.

 

What helps keep me focussed….

Back in January 2018, as I faced more challenges (despite the fact I had already overcome many in 2017 relating to head and neck cancer) I made my word that year: B.O.L.D. I explained its purpose here. I know I glanced at and reminded myself of my goals a LOT in 2018.

In 2019 my husband suggested that whilst I may have had head and neck cancer, it was not the sum total of Denyse. Yes, he is/was right but I also saw that this takes time to integrate into one’s life. I used integrate as my word….and tripped, fell, got up again…a few times as I did this over and over. But, it, like the year before’s B.O.L.D. worked.

It comes as no surprise for regular readers and followers  then that I chose gratitude for 2020. I saw how helpful having the words engraved on little bracelets was for 2018 and 2019 so 2020 got a third one. I admit they are not heavy at all, and I do look and them more than I realise and am buoyed and supported by my memories of how I far I have come and how I can keep on going. Even on tough days. I am actually having some right now. Sigh.

Thank you NOT Instagram.

I have been unable to be part of Instagram on my new Iphone since 7 January. I have tried un-installing, re-installing, making a new account, sending messages to both Instagram and Facebook and seeking help at the Apple store. I have the app on the Ipad and can use instagram there but for this Iphone lover, it is not fun. Nevertheless, I am still seeking help and have some plans to see other people who may help. I do believe, the whole thing is about something being ‘stuck’ in their system. I am OK about it for now but it is frustrating.

In the meantime I opened a second Instagram account: @denysewhelan_blogs for my gratitude photos and @denysewhelan continues for day-to-day pics. I have made them both public and deleted many of my photos so if one or the other gets ‘hacked’ I have photos already in the cloud etc.

We celebrated 49 years of marriage on 23 January and this photo was unearthed when I last visited Dad. Mum had a ‘brag book’ with our wedding pictures in it. I look at this photo and of course love it but think “why didn’t I wear something around my neck?” Seriously I was very much a minimalist in terms of the dress. This was from Bridesmaids’ stock at the wedding shop we went to in Sydney. Still have the dress. No, still can’t fit into it but a couple of granddaughters have tried it on as little girls.

One year before marriage, I was appointed to my first school. Barraba Central. I got this copy of my service record when I had my “proper” retirement from N.S.W. Department of Education in 2018 and I just LOVE how my record was hand-written. Sigh. This is from the NSW State Archives in Kingswood.

A simple lunch, right? Well, for me it was another occasion to give this food of regular eating a go. Even though I have a set of teeth up top, my mouth does not easily eat foods unless they are cake-like, cereal with milk, soft and creamy and so on. But I really miss regular food so gave this another try. Instead of joining the bread roll, I made it the 2 halves and with some small bites, and chewing very well, I enjoyed the simple lunch as shown. Lettuce is tricky for head and neck cancer patients which is why I chose a curly textured one not a slippery smooth one.

Back to the beach. 

Inspired by a friend in New Zealand who posted a photo of herself off for a beach swim, I made a promise to myself to get back to the beach. Well, in a way. I chose not to go into the water: rough and some blue bottles and seaweed, but I did walk in the water and enjoy the ambience and views. What I did not factor in is that mornings are my “going to coffee at the shops” time and so will keep beach visits to afternoons and when cooler day occur!

Thank you grandchildren…and my children who made this photo shoot happen. Bye to January 2020.

Having said goodbye to January, I am turning my mind towards February and taking part in Fat Mum Slim’s Photo-A-Day. I am not regularly part of this but figured for 29 days I will give it my best. Do you follow @fatmumslim and #fmspad?

Thanks for reading and I hope linking up a post too.

Denyse.

Link Up #174

 

Link Up #174. Life This Week.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week!

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice.

* THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s weekly optional prompt is: 6/51 Interesting 10.2.2020

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Women Of Courage Series. #23. Lisa Greissl. 108/2019.

Women Of Courage Series. #23. Lisa Greissl. 108/2019.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid May 2019: Wednesdays: each week.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

Lisa Greissl, aged 35, and I met first on-line thanks to having our cancer treatments at the same place: Chris O’Brien Lifehouse and later when I became a ‘maker of bookmarks’ which I supplied over quite a few months in 2018 to be added to The Big Hug Boxes and Random Hug of Kindness Boxes. This woman has energy in her life propelled by her desire for spreading kindness and appreciation as well as the ‘joy of living’ post-cancer. Lisa’s story tells it better. However, I wanted to add, she is the most beautiful person inside and out, having met her family I can attest to much of the ‘why’ she needed to continue her life so fully post-cancer! Thanks Lisa. I do value your work and our friendship.

 

 

 

 What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

There have been many occasions requiring me to be courageous, but the most significant was just after the birth of my second daughter where I was sent by a midwife completing her home visit to myself and bub to get a scan.

Only 5 days after bub was born I was back in hospital after a blood clot was found in my main iliac vein and further investigations were to commence. Little did we know soon we would be calling on courage to get through the next year.

My family, friends and I were all left completely shocked as I was diagnosed surrounded by a group of around 10 specialists crammed into a little room saying that I had a rare form of cancer, a Teratoma on my spine.

We had no choice but to put on our courage cape and face this battle with everything we had. Even though I was the one facing the challenge I honestly believe during this time my family and friends had to be more courageous as they watched their loved one struggle through treatment and recovery whilst ensuring all the day to day tasks were taken care of. My husband in particular, had a two year old and a newborn to take care of whilst I was receiving treatment in Sydney.

 

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

In this circumstance, being courageous was not an option. I chose to embed a positive mindset and a promise to never give up. As I was to find out as treatment progressed, It also put into perspective on what nothing to lose really meant.

This has changed me in approaching new challenges where I have chosen to embrace requiring courage in a positive way of achieving my dreams which has seen me achieve things that I never thought possible.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

Courage is not a switch on and switch off emotion. It is something embedded in all of us ready to be used when necessary, do not fear for the unknown but give yourself some peace in that when you need courage, you can and you will be able to use it.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

I now utilise courage often to believe in myself and what I can achieve.

Your mindset is a powerful tool to accomplish the what seems impossible and I continue to embed a mindset of “I can, I will”  which as mentioned I know is in within myself ready to be used in which I have surprised myself in what I can achieve. As a result of sharing stories and my mindset, I was able to create and become the Founder of the charity The Big Hug Box in 2018. Helping cancer patients find their courage through a giftbox filled with comforting and empowering products for patients facing cancer.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

I would be lying if there were not times where I questioned if I really had the courage to attempt to achieve my big goals but from my previous experiences, I now understand that courage multiplies courage.

I also understand the impact of the saying that “Hope is stronger than fear” and mindset is everything to assist in enduring the toughest of challenges, when we are at the most challenging point.

But also to add to this, courage is not just required in tough and difficult times, courage can be used when you have a goal and to add to the saying above that hope is greater than fear is that on the other side of hope is the uncapped magnitude to achieve your dreams, and that this is in the ability of everyone.

 

 

Lisa story is amazing and we have met. I offered to make bookmarks to be included in the Big Hug Boxes in 2018 and then as Lisa’s ideas spread to Random Hugs of Kindness Boxes I was part of a ‘packing team’ at her house further up the coast from mine. I met her family and friends, and one very special friend Tracy who was the first Ambassador for The Big Hug Box. Tragically Tracy’s cancer could not be tamed and she died after a life lived fully earlier this year. Lisa teaches me that resilience is important and to adjust your life to make the most of it. As a runner with a now-damaged leg from her surgery, Lisa turned to a new fitness activity and that is rowing. Her zest for life is infectious. Recently I sent a Big Hug Box to Tracey whose story was published recently. If you would like to share kindness with someone you know who has cancer, please click on the links and find out how.

Packing Random Hugs of Kindness Boxes. 2018.

Thank you for sharing, Denyse.

Social Media:

Blog/Website: www.thebighugbox.com

Facebook Page: The Big Hug Box

Instagram: @thebighugbox

 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends and on Fridays, it’s Open Slather here with Alicia.

Copyright © 2019 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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What Is ‘Dress With Purpose’? 41/51. #LifeThisWeek. 103/2019.

What Is ‘Dress With Purpose’? 41/51. #LifeThisWeek. 103/2019.

Thank you Maria: Linky Is Open again!!

When you have a reason to get up each day, for example, going to work, then you dress with purpose. Whatever your employment conditions require.

This is likely to be less so  of course on holidays and weekends when you determine this for yourself. And yes, it could be PJs all day!But, when you retire then what happens? It takes an adjustment for you that is for sure.

One such adjustment can be about what to wear when there is no longer a job or career calling you.

PJs all day? For me, no. But then again, I did get caught up as a somewhat sad soul (and then cancer arrived) in actually not caring about my physical appearance for some time.

This was 30.11.2016. My 67th Birthday. I MADE myself dress in something bright & wear makeup and a smile.

For more of the back story, I lost a lot of weight thanks to anxiety and IBS. It was over time and no-one was concerned about the effect of it except me. I actually thought it might mean I had cancer. Oh, wait. I did..eventually found that out. It’s a bit more complex than weight/size issues this post of mine. Firstly I had to change my belief system of being worthy of dressing well. And then, over time as I did, I knew I literally needed new clothes. The old and baggy ones did nothing for my morale nor my outside appearance.

My Head and Neck Cancer diagnosis took precedence of “everything” really, although I recall needing to accept I literally had to buy lots of night attire and underwear that actually fitted even though my appearance was the last thing I considered in those months from May 2017 until July 2017. Once I was back home, for the months of July, August and September I was getting dressed each day but it was usually a tee shirt & comfy beach-pants (I had my leg in a boot for weeks and it still needed treatments from a community Nurse for 3 months.

My initial reasons for “Dressing with Purpose”.

  • By October 2017 I was far more independent physically after the gruelling time since diagnosis and major reconstructive surgery so decided I needed a challenge of sorts.
  • I’d been following “outfit of the day” for sometime and various aged friends took part in this on Instagram daily. I got the bug…to show what I looked like and to be proud (as I could anyway with no top teeth) of my appearance from now.
  • I thought I would do this every day till I turned 68. I didn’t. It lasted a lot longer than that.
  • It truly was fun but it was more than that, I MADE myself do this because I NEEDED to have a routine and dressing with purpose and going out solo for a coffee (with my art journal) became it.
  • My husband was happy to see me well and agreed to be my Instagram photographer.
  • There are stories about it here, here and here.

Now Here’s Why I Continue to “Dress with Purpose”.

  • I need to do this.
  • Recently I was feeling a bit concerned about ‘my cancer returning’ and sad…but past me who would have cried and stayed home said “NO”. I am telling myself this is what I do and off I went to the local shops, dressed with purpose, had my coffee, and wrote about it in my art journal.
  • I have a routine that is not really strict but I need some structure in my day.
  • I no longer want to ‘show off my new clothes’ because there are not many these days. This does not mean empty wardrobes people. Full!
  • I do want to show me (and anyone who remains interested) that my appearance is OK.
  • know that I have gained weight since I got my upper prosthesis in Aug 2018 but also that this has been healthy for me
  • I strive to remember that…above: It is for my health. As a long-time body critic this is taking reminders to me every day!
  • I feel better for getting out each day, even if it is just to get the paper, have a coffee, people watch and play in my art journal
  • I enjoy moving my body more in the clothes and good sneakers I have so it is not an effort to do around the recommended for me steps: 6K-7K
  • I like looking at me in the mirror and liking her more than ever.
  • I do have a photo taken from time to time but have stopped the daily one ages ago.

 

 

 

This post is also a reminder to me of how far I have come post cancer.

Go me. As they say.

I do try to encourage myself as well as others! Someone told me the other day I am an ‘encourager’ and I liked that.

So, do you dress with purpose?

Denyse.

 

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s optional prompt is: 42/51 “Self Care Stories” 21/10/19

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Self-Care: Share Your Story #4. 28/51 #LifeThisWeek. 77/2019.

Self-Care: Share Your Story #4. 28/51. #LifeThisWeek. 77/2019.

This week I will be completing week 8 of a ten week “moving for wellness” from the N.S.W. Department of Education as part of the Premier’s Sporting Challenge. I was kindly allowed entry as a retired principal …and it has been such a good boost to my physical and emotional health. I got a pleasant suprrise last week…I am doing better than I ever thought I might.

 

For this week’s self-care story it’s about:

  • finding a better balance between ‘doing for others’ and ‘doing for me’
  • learning about something new to help me use my phone with greater ease
  • making myself get into the outdoors more..no matter what the weather
  • allowing  time for morning teas out and meeting people and loving it
  • daring to go somewhere challenging & despite some difficulties emerge from it with greater self-confidence
  • accept that to grow, I still need to remind myself to do the hard things. Posts about that here and here.
  • returning to art-ing as a daily and creative habit after some time away and loving it more because of that
  • being well….because I have such a great team who have cared for me since I got cancer two years ago (posts here) and it’s UP TO ME to stay this way

What’s been your level of self-care lately?

Denyse.

 

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 29/51 Winter: Like/Loathe 22/7/19. 

I will not be following the optional prompt as I have been remiss in updating Telling My Story, so I will write the next post for that instead.

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