Thursday 15th April 2021

Cannot. 4/51 #LifeThisWeek. 10/2021.

Cannot. 4/51 #LifeThisWeek. 10/2021.

I blog to share stories.

I blog share images.

I also blog to connect with my readers and fellow bloggers.

Cannot, what?

Ok. I cannot get over the fact that two women, who I met even before they were born…and on their respective birthDAYs helped us, their grandparents, have a fantastic, relaxed and very loving photo shoot back in November 2020 as we prepared to celebrate our 50 Years of Marriage!

Their story with us.

We cared for these women, they slept over, we had holidays away together, we showered them with birthday and Christmas gifts because…grandkids! They are very different yet they are also creative in their own ways.

The elder, J, has a degree in film production from Australian Film Television and Radio School and was a high achieving drama student in Year 12, being selected to appear in a NSW Dept of Education Talented Drama Ensemble production at the Australian Theatre of Young People.

The younger, S, left high school before Year 12 when high school and her life then were incompatible. Both girls have chronic conditions they live with but which can limit their life choices e.g. full time work etc. However, each is passionate about capturing images. One more via film (J) and one via stills (S).

We Had An Idea.

My husband and I wanted to mark the memory that is our fifty years together with a photo shoot. Let’s say, I had the idea and eventually he could see the merit. We proposed the idea to our daughter, the girls’ mum, even though they are independent. She then chatted with them, and we heard back. Yes, J can drive them up and help S but S is the chief shooter!

Rightio.

Then they wanted us to go near the beach, the water and …..no we cannot do that, lovelies! It would be uncomfortable in a physical way for my husband and I was just grateful he agreed.

So, then they knew it would be at our place. And they were fine with that.

The Day.

I admit I was nervous because I wanted it to go well but also “I” am usually the one behind the lens. I was also conscious that having photos taken was not a fave thing for my husband.

He surprised me. He said, let’s just catch up with the girls, over a cuppa first, have a few laughs and see how it goes.

It went very well indeed.

Laughter is the essence in breaking down tension  and that happened. Big time. We shared lots of fun. The girls and their Papa. It was awesome.

J was the photographer’s assistant and advised a bit along with my choice of accessories and once S set up, J took loads with my iphone and we knew things had gone well.

 

Almost Our 50th Wedding Anniversary.

We heard back a few times from S, who lives in Sydney, that she was onto the editing and wanted to get the photos done in time for us to see them for our Golden Wedding Anniversary: 23 January 2021.

As she has some health issues, we did not want to place any kind of pressure on her, but true to form she wanted this to go well.

She uploaded fifteen images she edited and sorted that she thought were representative of us and ….

Wow. 

We cannot get over how well S captured the essence of us.

We are delighted and so proud of our dear granddaughter, Sophie Gosling

Her photography name is Time2Capture.

She has a facebook page, and an

instagram account too under @time2capture

She would love some likes and business…if anyone is interested!

What do you think?

It was no trouble at all for us to use my Word of The Year here:

S M I L E.

Denyse.

Link Up 224.

Life This Week. Link Up #224

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week: 5/51. Share Your Snaps.

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What’s The Story Behind These Images? 8/2021.

What’s The Story Behind These Images? 8/2021.

Quite some time ago, years in fact, I began buying images from Dreamstime for use on the blog. I accumulated many and have used few.

I guess I have not used them in more recent times because the focus of those images was for my education category which I blogged about with frequency in 2012-2015.

I was also an Education Specialist assisting families and educators who were part of a group of pre-schools in the northern and norwest suburbs of Sydney.

I was very careful to only use approved photos from the organisation so I tended to add some of these images where there was a correlation between my written messages and the images.

Today, I am using my imagination to write something as I might see as the story behind the images.

Image One.

Here are the students in Year 9 who were asked to look as if we are reading and be interested too. However, you can see that that two of them who were excluded from being seated. Huh? Stand against the shelves and look like they are reading? We can do that. Still not sure what we are reading though. Guess if the teacher is smiling it might be a funny book?

However, in all seriousness it is good to see reading AND being in a library of interest. Far too much these days, books from libraries and students being able to access a library within a school setting is being denied. Something, something, funding! Rubbish. I wrote a post about it here.

Does your child’s school have a library and a trained teacher librarian?

 

Image Two.

This one is a very familiar image. Boy, in image, gets what they are supposed to be doing, as requested by the teacher, leaning over another student at a computer in rear of image. This is how it does happen in many schools. There is a computer lab or bank of them set up. Truly, it can be quite the challenge to keep this kind of lesson under control in terms of the students’ searches. Fortunately there are security set ups via the schools’ systems.

With a whole class of 30 this kind of lesson is exhausting! Back when I reckon this was the kind of way teachers may have “ticked” the boxes of computer education. This is less likely to be the kind of work done by students now as each classroom has a range of set ups for technology including interactive white boards. High school students have laptops and ipads too, as do many primary schools.

Do you remember this kind of lesson?

 

Image Three.

Taking the hand of an older and trust adult to be safe in terms of being outside, in a crowd, approaching the road, or even starting school. It is both reassuring and kind to the child as he or she makes changes that need some parental or adult support. However, of course, there can be hand-holding refusers and with those little ones, there needs to be a firmer grip…a kind one.

Did you know children need adult supervision to cross a road up to around the ages of 8-10. It is something to do with developing peripheral vision.

 

Image Four.

This is quite an homogenous group of four. Interestingly for me as I reviewed some of my images, I realised back when I was selecting them my unconscious bias took me to the familiar for me. White and anglo in appearance. I am quite surprised now that I look back and know that even acknowledging it is better than continuing this.

Do you think play and children’s ability to let off steam outdoors is allowed enough for these days?

 

Image Five.

I loved the connection of these two children as I imagined in this image. They seem comfortable with each other, and are moving along a bridge-like structure to another area. The simple parts of childhood can be forgotten in the hustle and bustle can’t they?

How much do children really get to play and explore within a relatively safe space. Food for thought.

 

 

And now for my images….I think I am missing return to school time in some ways but agree it is not something I could do practically nor emotionally but I still have the love of teaching in me.

My M.Ed. Graduation from CSU Wagga Wagga in 1991. My daughter used ‘the same cloak’ for her Masters of Education (Teacher Librarian) when she graduated in 2017.

 

Images Six, Seven & Eight.

Image Nine.

My Education Collage: Where two teachers met, our trip back to the area, farewelled by the Deputy Secretary of NSW Dept of Education, My Service Medal

Image Ten.

On 27 January 1970 this is where I began teaching. The classroom in background was mine, teaching a K/1 group. My image here: 50 years later we re-visited Barraba Central School.

That’s my  post about the stories and the images. It was thought-filled and a bit of fun as well as a trip down memory lane!

Did you enjoy being at school?

Tell me more.

Denyse.

Joining with Leanne for Lovin Life Linky here on Thursdays.

And here too for Natalie’s Link Up: Weekend Coffee Share

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Share Your Snaps.#10. 50/51.#LifeThisWeek.100/2020.

Share Your Snaps.#10. 50/51.#LifeThisWeek.100/2020.

The last, last lucky last post of Sharing Your Snaps in 2020.

I hope you have enjoyed this optional prompt as much as I have. It returns in 2021 every fifth week.

Every 5th Week

Mine is…about “ME” gosh. How different. LOL.

OK, it’s a series of Birthday Girl Photos…close as I could get anyway…to celebrating:

Denyse. 30 November Girl.

The post on my actual birthday: 30.11. paying tribute to my parents. They had me when they were 24 (Mum) 25 (Dad) This photo is from about 20 years ago.

I think I am 2 or 3 here.

Some images are better in full size!

At my 70th. Surrounded by the people who mean most to me.

With Dad (97 in Jan ’21)

 

I’ve had massive changes to my appearance thanks to oral cancer, then the reconstruction of my upper mouth, I have stayed rather ‘thinner’ than most of my adult years. Sometimes, I need something like now, a collage from birthdays, to notice this for myself. And accept I look well…and that I am doing well too.

A little aside – in photos of me turning 68 and 69 I have tried to blow out the candles. I cannot do this easily any more. My mouth, thanks to its reconstruction, cannot form the shape requires for this. It is the same for kissing…and blowing up a balloon and drinking via a straw. No can do. Interesting side-effects of my reconstruction and life moving on!

And I am incredibly grateful to be here and be well.

Happy Snapping.

Denyse.

Link Up 219

Life This Week. Link Up #219

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: Your Choice. 51/51. Last One In 2020.

Back on Mon 4 January with: 1/51 Word Of The Year.

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Lucky. 49/51 #LifeThisWeek. 98/2020.

Lucky. 49/51 #LifeThisWeek. 98/2020.

In the third last post for the year on this Monday 7 December I wanted to offer my appreciation for you!

Yes, you….and you….and never forgetting Y O U.

I hope that the images I have included mean I haven’t missed anyone as these were images from my Women of Courage series. Not everyone blogs right now but they have and are supportive of the blogging community and some people who add their posts and comment were not part of the series. And from me: I am very grateful !

Thank YOU all.

Why?

Well, dear blogging friends, without any of you this link up would shrivel and die.

Sad.

I love opening up the blog on a Monday morning to see who has visited, left a comment and added their blog post.

I could be calling this “lucky” but I am not.

I say I am very fortunate AND grateful to have you here.

My deepest appreciation for you and your lovely words and comments which resonate help me and many go through whatever is part of our world this week.

My husband and I had a discussion recently about why he finds it a challenge to use the word lucky, preferring to use the word fortunate. I asked him his reasons and they stemmed from luck being seen as coming from a win, a reward or something outside of him. Gambling was one such place. In determining that I see his reasons we came up with fortunate coming from inside us, a place of appreciation, contentment and deep caring of ourselves and one another.

Optional Prompts for Life This Week 2021

1/51 Word of Year.  4 Jan.

2/51 Announcement. 11 Jan.

3/51 Back To. 18 Jan.

4/51 Cannot. 25 Jan.

5/51 Share Your Snaps #1. 1 Feb.

6/51 Decision. 8 Feb.

7/51 Self Care Stories #1. 15 Feb.

8/51 Explore. 22 Feb.

9/51 Taking Stock #1. 1 Mar.

10/51 Share Your Snaps #2. 8 Mar.

11/51 Floral. 15 Mar.

12/51 Good. 22 Mar.

13/51 Heroic. 29 Mar.

14/51 Self Care Stories #2. 5 Apr.

15/51 Share Your Snaps #3. 12 Apr.

16/51 Interesting. 19 Apr.

17/51 Joyful. 26 Apr.

18/51 Taking Stock #2. 3 May.

19/51 Knowing. 10 May.

20/51 Share Your  Snaps #4. 17 May.

 

New Photo Collages on My Blog Page: 

May you be well.

May you be safe.

May you be content.

May you be…….add your own words.

Thank you all, see you next week.

Denyse.

Link Up 218

Life This Week. Link Up #218

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 50/51 Share Your Snaps #10 14.12.2020

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Outside. 44/51. #LifeThisWeek. 88/2020.

Outside. 44/51. #LifeThisWeek. 88/2020.

We promised ourselves a NSW country mini holiday once I was well and  COVID was not a really big issue so away we went, on Monday 19 October 2020 on a trek to where we had met, exactly 50 years earlier.

We had literally had no trips away other than for my surgeries for well over 5 years so we both looked forward to a different scene from the coast and to be away just for us.

The laws in NSW do not allow for phone use inside a car. I found that a challenge as I wanted to record scenes from the car, so….on the wide and open roads…with me checking for cars…I did a few pics. No harm was done. I say anyway!

New England Hwy. North West N.S.W.

The trip from our home on the northern end of the N.S.W. Central Coast to our main destination of the major inland north-western centre of Tamworth took us 4 hours. This included comfort and coffee stops. Thank you Maccas. We shared the driving.

From the car, on the move, in the passenger’s seat. Loved seeing effects of some recent rains.

Where We Met. Literally!

On Saturday 17th October 1970, we met at a N.S.W. Teachers’ Federation Conference at a club in Tamworth. We found it, actually my husband did because he had lived around Tamworth for some years before we met. Outside for a selfie. No, we did not go inside.

Up To The LookOut: the view is spectacular.

 

Then we went to Barraba. My first school. Appointed in 1970. My husband, even though we were born in the same year, had already been teaching in his small (one teacher) school since 1968. His High School years ended with the Leaving Certificate in 1965 whereas “I” was part of the new 6 years at High School cohort. But to get to Barraba from Tamworth, it’s a one hour drive via Manilla. We stopped there for a photo – to Boggabri the sign says – and it was along that road my then boyfriend would drive wearily home after seeing me in Barraba. Ah love….

An addition to the entrance to Barraba: these silos have been painted. How amazing! Great tribute to the rural area that makes Barraba the town it is.

 

We stopped in town, which sadly, remained depleted of many shops. Sad because even before COVID, many country towns had suffered. The drought being for one reason. Nevertheless we found a cafe, and enjoyed some morning tea. Such a quiet main street.

I remember in 1970 there was a public holiday to celebrate 200 years since Captain Cook ‘found’ Australia. The school made a float and we were part of the celebrations. I cringe now, because I am not aware that back then we made any references to the Aboriginal community in the area. Now, as I saw when we visited the outside of the school where I taught, there was evidence of traditional owners and tributes to them. I am pretty sure there would be quite a number of indigenous students at the school too.

It was, and is, Barraba Central School. The High School section is now on a different site but when I was there, it was a K-12 school campus. Wonderful social experience at that school. The teachers and all of the staff were invited by my parents to my 21st in Tamworth late in that year. Still somewhat embarrassed  by that, and as I had already met B, “we” knew there would be a wedding coming up in the New Year!

For a visit to a special place for us both in Tamworth we went here: it is called Tamworth Base Hospital but we couldn’t find a sign which said that. However, this one was close to the carpark where we both remembered my husband meeting our then week old daughter for the first time. That’s how it was back then.

There are a few chapters in Telling My Story related to our years of meeting, marrying and having our first child.

Here they are:

Telling My Story. Chapter Four. 1970. 2018.68.

Telling My Story: Chapter Five. 1971.2018. 79.

Telling My Story. Chapter Six. Becoming Mum. 1971. 2018.100.

Thanks for joining me OUTSIDE today!

Denyse.

Link Up 213

Life This Week. Link Up #213

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 45/51 Share Your Snaps. 

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I Have Never. 41/51 #LifeThisWeek. 82/2020.

I Have Never. 41/51 #LifeThisWeek. 82/2020.

How to respond to this? I am doing it under  headings…. let’s see how this works.

I Have Never:

Been

  • in a physical fight.
  • a particularly brave person.
  • into a nightclub.
  • on a bar/pub hop.
  • into getting into drinking…ever.

 

Eaten

  • any offal. at all. intentionally or unintentionally.
  • dishes from other countries of origin – not an adventurous eater. Fried rice and pizza is my limit. Not together.
  • spiced anything. Chilli…noooo
  • a full menu from a restaurant: entree, mains, dessert for a very, very long time. In fact I wonder how I ever did!
  • something that might be ‘dodgy’ for example, use by date is passed.

 

Done

  • much that is brave or adventurous in some people’s eyes at all.
  • any type of sewing other than a button onto a shirt or maybe a small hem adjustment. By hand. Never a machine.
  • any true labour in the sense of manual labour. Some gardening maybe and some house cleaning. That’s it.
  • anything to deliberately harm anyone
  • much at all to dissuade anyone from being who they are. I really think that is true. I hope so anyway.

 

Found

  • someone who is a liar and then remain friends with them.
  • gold in ‘them thar hills’.
  • peace that is ever-lasting.
  • the above is impossible because we constantly change and grow.
  • bitching about anyone and anything is actually healthy.

 

Seen

  • a sunset at the beach in Australia.
  • a blue fairy wren in the bush.
  • any iguana/dragon/large bearded lizard in real life I hope I never do.
  • someone after they  have died.
  • Some states of Australia: Western Australia, South Australia, Tasmania & Northern Territory.

 

Had

  • a true broken heart.
  • the desire to have an affair.
  • all my hair cut off.
  • radiotherapy and chemotherapy and hope to keep it that way.
  • the chance to travel to the UK thanks to no dollars and no planes anyway these days!

Interesting to me is the fact that I am, from this small sampling, a conservative and definitely not adventurous person ….ah well. To each her/his own.

I did have a think and I have to add examples of doing/being where some others may find they have not. I am fine with public speaking, and leading a school, along with travelling solo by driving to events away from home.

What have you never?

Denyse.

Link Up 210

Life This Week. Link Up #210

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 42/51 Self Care Stories. 19.10.2020

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Women Of Courage Series. #54 Leanne @DeepFriedFruit. 73/2020.

Women Of Courage Series. #54 Leanne @DeepFriedFruit. 73/2020.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid-May 2019: Wednesdays: each week and now the series concludes today with this post. Over the next two weeks there will be a look back at those who have shared their stories. Actually 56 women. The link to all of those stories is here.

Here is the introduction to the series and each woman’s story.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

 

Leanne, also known by her blog’s name of Deep Fried Fruit, has been blogging FOR ever..no, not really. However, I believe she started for a significant ZERO birthday and now admits to being at the next decade. Not one to hide away from her celebrations of life, she calls her birthday a festival. In real life, and yes, we have met, this person is warm, funny, generous and very caring. In fact, she stopped off on her family’s trip to Queensland two years ago so we could meet up!

 

Let’s get on with Leanne’ story…and I admit, she has written more than was asked but all good. The more we get to know about the ‘why’ of this lady!

 

Background

  • I look back and think of all the things in my life that took great courage and I guess most things do.  Every new experience requires some amount of bravery.
  • I used to be timid and shy.  As an only child I found safety in the walls of my own home with my tiny family.  Then one day my mum was told she only had two weeks to live and suddenly my safety was about to be stripped.
  • Her bravery of fighting the disease and winning, changed who I ultimately became.  Being timid in life was no longer an option. I learned if you want to achieve results you have to stand up and take responsibility for your existence. You had to find courage.
  • As a result, I’m someone whose meta programming is set high on the “challenge” meter.  Some people take the path of least resistance in life, others take the path of most challenge. I’m the latter.

 

My favourite quote is by Sarah Henderson:

“Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.”

That’s how I live my life. I spend a great deal of time striding down great big long tunnels to turn that bloody light switch on. Which means I need a fair bit of courage I suppose.  Although I don’t necessarily recognise it at the time.

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

My mum’s leukaemia, backpacking overseas alone, buying my first home, completing my degrees, creating a career, marrying into a readymade family, having kids, dealing with fibromyalgia. The standard stuff.

 

I think there are some major milestones that took more courage than others though.

  1. “Retiring” from a well-established career at the age of 36 to concentrate on my family
  2. Becoming the creator/founder of several small business initiatives
  3. Deciding to self-publish my children’s book series
  4. Watching helplessly as cancer took our (my husband’s) eldest child
  5. Re-entering the workforce at the age many retire

While point number 4 is probably the one jumping out as the most challenging event anyone could possibly face, it’s still too hard to talk about.  So, I won’t be talking about the loss of a child today.

Instead, given it’s current, I’d like to chat about number 5.

 

Re-entering the workforce.

 

How did this change you?

  • For the past 15 years, skipping merrily outside the boundaries of the paid workforce as a sole trader and finder of cool projects, I’ve been striding through many tunnels turning on a shitload of Sarah Henderson-esque light switches.
  • You’d think that with all the results I’ve achieved when I was out there on my own, re-entering the workforce would be easy. I mean, I’ve done so much! I’m a force to be reckoned with, aren’t I?
  • I would have thought so too, but no.
  • Going back to work” has honestly been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.
  • Why? Because I discovered something when I went back to work in corporate Australia.  I’m old!
  • I know right.  Shocking revelation.
  • I thought I could waltz right back in there and just be amazing. But it turns out I’ve got a bit to catch up on in the corporate world and apparently my brain isn’t quite what it used to be.

 

Re-entering the workforce changed me.  My confidence, resilience and emotions hit an all time low.

According to the numbers I am fifty years old, but my heart says I’m still a vibrant, intelligent and energetic 35-year-old who knows everything there is to know about everything. Hell, there are days I’ve got the mindset, energy and frivolity of a 20-year-old and the smarts of a 70-year-old Harvard professor.  Lingo and all.   Yet despite my love of life, my readiness to be challenged and the wealth of experience under my belt, the fact is, I’ve been out of the workforce for a bloody long time.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend?

  • Every single challenge in life presents an opportunity for growth.
  • While wallowing in self-pity, I realised I’d bumbled into this job without much thought nor planning.  Somebody needed me to fill a gap, so I filled it.  Then somebody else needed me to fill another gap and I filled that one too. That was my re-entry. I didn’t create my new work life; I simply fell into it.
  • It’s hard to stride down a tunnel with purpose when you’ve fallen into the tunnel.
  • So, I downed tools, re-wrote my resume, contacted recruitment and said, “hello world, here I am, and this is what I have to offer you”.  I took back control and started striding forward on my terms again.
  • I guess I’d like to say out loud for all to hear, if you find yourself in a job you aren’t enjoying, or that doesn’t suit you, or that makes you feel less-than, then do something about it.  Don’t stay there for staying sake.
  • I’m now focussing on my strengths, adding value where I know I can and not putting so much pressure on myself to be able to do everything.

 

I have decided to create my job, rather than have my job re-create me. Or more specifically, rather than have my job deflate me.

 

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it?

  • Absolutely, 100%, without a doubt. Our challenges make us stronger.  My challenges have made me stronger.
  • Facing problems can be hard. At the time it can even feel like the end of the world.

But looking back at the times where courage has been required is a fantastic reminder that we do survive them, 100% of the time, because we’re still here!

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

 

  • When you’re younger you tend to put up with a lot more heartache in order to get your foot in the door, particularly when it comes to jobs and careers.  I know I did whatever it took to show my value. I worked hard from the ground up.
  • When I re-entered the workforce, I thought I’d waltz back in without that need to go back to grass roots, and it was quite a dent to my pride to discover I wasn’t as shit-hot a I thought I was; or perhaps as I used to be.
  • When I hit rock bottom, I thought “wow, does this mean I have to start again? Has my experience over the last 30 years meant nothing?”
  • No.  We don’t need to start again. Everything we’ve done previously is still part of us, only we’re even better off because we not only have that experience, we also have a proven track record of resilience, growth and acquired wisdom.
  • If like me you don’t like your job, and the light at the end of the tunnel is dimming, then just stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.

 

Anything else to add?

  • This “being back at work” thing is new, and I am still finding my feet.
  • But if there is one thing I know for sure; I still have a good 15 years of work life left in me in which to create something that suits my strengths.
  • I may well create my dream job or a whole new career, or I may just decide that my current income generating activity is simply that, an income source.
  • The bottom line is, if the world feels dim, I’m now old enough and wise enough to know where to find the light switch.

Denyse offering me this WOC interview has been a fantastic exercise in recognizing where my inner lion has been needed in life and how I can apply it to my current situation.Thanks so much Denyse for this opportunity to reflect and to remind me where to find the light.

 

Thank you Leanne, you are an amazing friend and definitely a great woman of courage and it’s my privilege to share your story as the final one in the series over the past 2 years.

Thank you to all of the Women of Courage.

Over the next two weeks, there will be a farewell and appreciation for those who shared in 2019 and in 2020.

 

Denyse.

 

Social Media:

Blog/Website:  www.deepfriedfruit.com.au

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/DeepFriedFruit

Instagram: @DeepFriedFruit

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends.

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Women Of Courage Series. #53. Yvonne McClaren. 71/2020.

Women Of Courage Series. #53. Yvonne McClaren. 71/2020. 

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid-May 2019: Wednesdays: each week until the series concludes in 2020.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

Whilst I have not ‘met’ today’s Woman of Courage in real life, as they say, we have most certainly connected by the common (and not ever-welcomed) diagnosis of Head and Neck Cancer. Yvonne, who is 54, has shared her story below via the responses to the questions but to know even more about her and how she is facing life full-on these days, check out her links! Recently she appeared  too as part of the Beyond Five live video segment relating to food preparation and eating for those affected by head and neck cancer, particularly as in Yvonne’s case and others, relating to swallowing.

Dysphagia is the medical term for difficulty in swallowing. This includes problems with sucking, swallowing, drinking, chewing, eating, dribbling saliva, closing lips, or when food or drink goes down the wrong way.

The link to the video is at the end of this post.

Thank you Yvonne for sharing.

 

 What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

There are a few times in my life where I have had to reinvent myself both professionally and personally. I think my latest challenge with finding a large tumour on my left tonsil has been my greatest challenge.

There have been other life-threatening situations – involving motorbikes, but this was really out of my control. Once diagnosed I responded with ‘silence’ – I went into myself I realise now.

It was a difficult time as I had relocated countries, left my full time job to start a new life and career and had my heart broken all in the space of 8 weeks, then a cancer diagnosis.

Suffice to say, I had little time to grieve anything, it was get on with it and start the treatment. Everything was put on hold in terms of dealing with loss of income, loss of love and in some respects the loss of my beloved father a year earlier.

It’s only now, 18 months after diagnosis, that I am starting to mentally deal with some of the other issues going on in my life at that time.

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

I had no time to consider anyone or anything else really.

I was on my own and thankfully had my mum still in her own home where I could live whilst going through the treatment.

I had had a sore throat for many, many months and jokingly said to a friend “I think it’s cancer” not really believing it, turns out 6 months later I was right.

How has it changed me?

I listen to my body really closely now, I use to before, but this has made me very aware of what thoughts I have running through my head, what niggle is going on and why… it also made me realise that every second you spend worrying about some insignificant thing is wasted time.

Get on and do it and do it now. Whatever it takes.

I lost the last five kilos I couldn’t budge and then some, so that was great for me, not an ideal weight loss programme but it started me back on my fitness journey 15 kilos lighter.

I now have to learn how to eat again and for a foodie I have found this the most distressing, depressing and difficult side effect.

Food was/ is my world and I have had to retrain and rethink what that looks like now. It also made my fledgling idea about teaching culinary pursuits in a foreign country come to fruition.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

 

You always have choices, for me, I sat with it and the implications and thought about the worst-case scenario.

I was also told by a well meaning nurse that my cancer treatment had not worked and there was nothing more they could do for me. That sort of puts things in a very stark perspective, it’s humbling and it’s frightening.

It’s also incredibly motivating when I discovered that was not the case.

Learning to manage emotions is something you also can practise and become the master.

I then figured well if that’s as bad as it gets (death / inability to function normally/ disability) then make the most of what you have now.

I also discovered that you lose “friends” along the way, whether they can’t handle the new you, or who you have become or are becoming is too hard for them I don’t know.

I have had to make an entirely new circle of friends and have reacquainted myself with ones I have not had much to do with for years.

What I can say is, you are innately very strong you just don’t know it yet.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

Yes, I am doing things now that are very much out of my comfort zone, although some would say riding through Vietnam and Laos on the back of a motorbike during a typhoon is getting out of my comfort zone too, but this disease and its side affects have made me realise that everyone has a message and a story.

In many ways this disease has focused my life’s purpose, I had all the scaffolding ready but now I have the ‘reason’ to hoist the flag on top of the scaffolding.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

Don’t spend time worrying about things that might happen, focus on the now and take it one step at a time.

There is literally  someone else worse off than you, I’d hate to be that person by the way whoever they are, I guess it’s all relative.

 

Do add anything else that you think would help others who read your post. 

 

My job as I see it now is to spend my time doing what I love, what I love is cooking and if I can help others with eating difficulties as a result of HNC and its treatment then that’s what I am going to do.

I come from a family of teachers so it is not surprising to me that ultimately, I want to use my skills to help others.

I have set up The Food Manifesto and Soup hug as a way to bring a community together that suffer from this debilitating side effect.

I like to think of myself as the food curator for dysphagia, the link between your dietitian and your kitchen.

 

What a story of resurgence here. I can say that because I did not know Yvonne until she found the friendly facebook group for Head and Neck Cancer Patients, Carers, Professionals and Families. It is here, too, where I ‘met’ another Woman of Courage Maureen whose story is here.   There is another Woman of Courage called Tara Flannery who shared about her head and neck cancer here.

And this Woman of Courage shared her story. She is Julie McCrossin AM, who is also a Community Ambassador for Beyond Five and is part of the webinar Yvonne appeared in below.

 

Thank you again Yvonne. I am so pleased you are doing all you can to be well and help others too.

This is the penultimate post in the Women of Courage series.

Denyse.

Beyond Five, where I am a Community Ambassador released this video live just before World Head and Neck Cancer Day 2020.

Please take some time to view…and see what Yvonne shares from her kitchen and share with others who may benefit.

Thank you.

Social Media Links for Yvonne:

Blog/Website:  www.thefoodmanifesto.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/McclarenYvonne

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/sustainablefoodandtravel/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_food_manifesto/?hl=en

 

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends.

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