Tuesday 17th May 2022

Fifteen Years Ago. Why 5 March Matters To Me. 14/2022.

Fifteen Years Ago. Why 5 March Matters To Me. 14/2022.

CW: death, mourning, grief

 

Today is Saturday 5th March 2022 and it marks 15 years since my dear mother died.

I say “died”…because the messages/words around death need to be used as they are meant to…to  convey meaning, not to confuse. I heard recently of a person being told on the phone, that a loved on, in a care home, was “gone” and that confused the recipient even more, because “where had he gone?”

About her 80th Birthday.

Mum said to Dad after attending yet another person’s funeral, “why do people wait till others die before telling them what they meant to them?” She was right. So, for her 80th Birthday, 6.12.2004, we hosted a Family Birthday Dinner and Celebration of Mum. I made a timeline with photos and the story of her life, and we were all there for her. Her husband, her adult kids and their partners, her adult grandkids and 3 grandchildren…and we shared words to her, in written form, cards and a speech of sorts. In looking back at the night, because I recently found the photos, there is a little video of Mum speaking about the gratitude she has for us all. I found that very touching and I am so glad I have it.

over 17 years ago! My brother & I with our parents.

Mum & Dad with B & Me, and our two children. 2004

Mum was the birthday cake maker….but not for her 80th. The look is so much my Mum…and the 3 great grandkids helped her with those candles.

I wrote back in 2017 for Telling My Story, a little of Mum’s history and what happened to her health after the celebration of her 80th Birthday.

Up until Mum’s 80th Birthday in December 2004 she had been quite well. A few so-called minor things were wrong and I know where my worry/anxiety gene comes from. But my mum, just as I do, could put on a smile no matter what.

So, we as a family watched over our Mum as her health, and with that her demeanour changed. Speaking to Dad now he says “she just wasn’t the same” and I know now why. In the course of her eventual hospitalisation in late January 2007 and an MRI, Mum was diagnosed with secondary brain tumours. Her downward health spiral the 2 or so years before had including symptoms of bad pain and some tremor but despite some doctors’ advice and care, Mum was a very scared reluctant visitor to doctors and specialists…and to hospitals. Obviously it was based on fear and Dad had to do what he could to convince Mum to get help and care. A big challenge. So, after the diagnosis of the secondary brain tumours, there was some ideas of what her primary cancers might have been but there was no way to know and Dad decided against an autopsy.

And now it’s the 15 Years Anniversary.

I don’t really know WHY this one is standing out to me but I am making some guesses:

  • Dad had a stay in hospital this week and whilst he is now back home, he is a visually impaired and mobility challenged, fully cognisant 98 year old. So, yes, I did get concerned “this may be his time” early this week.
  • Dad has no more peers, nor family members alive. Those who are his friends where he lives are in their 70s and 80s.
  • Dad says he missed Mum more than ever. I suspect with the added loneliness and covid restrictions he IS indeed lonely.
  • I finally accepted that his death will be a shock despite what I logically know
  • I am now, thank goodness, well enough and better in myself emotionally, to realise the significant of my Mum dying
  • I was a pretty distant daughter in my own way but that was because of “my” views of me, and perceived critical views of me by my mum.

Here’s why I needed to write and post today.

  • I appreciate now more than ever the mother Mum was to me
  • I was, and still can be, someone who is a challenge in relationships…mostly fuelled by my old ways of seeing me
  • I know that she gave me unconditional love
  • I know I WAS loved
  • I know that by sharing this now, I may be feeling more loving towards my Dad too.

He and I will chat today on the phone and I will listen to his thoughts.

We only have one chance at this thing called LIFE and I wanted to write more to enable this to be seen and viewed by me and others.

My Tribute in This Image & Words. 5.3.2022.

 

This was going to be a facebook tribute but then I changed to a blog post. I now am pleased to have done this.

Today, Mum, it’s 15 years since you died.

Wow. You had been quite unwell for around 2 years before this, and it was via secondary brain tumours that you succumbed.

Dad is missing you more than ever as he ages alone at 98, having left the home you shared together 4 years after your passing, to live at Dee Why.

Thanks for your love, presence, care and support in my life growing up. And then when Ibecomea mum, a very young one, married to B, another teacher & living in remote northern NSW.

Thanks too for the love, care and cooking for our family too,as I was a full time teacher. Taking our kids to stay and have holidays with you and Dad gave me respite. And they loved Noreen’s porridge and rice custard!

Your life was a busy one, and you gave a lot to the community. Thank you. And before you turned 80, we decided as you always said, it was better to tell people how much they meant to you before you died!

We listened, and your family, including by then, great grandchildren, did so on 6.12.2004.

What joyful photos and memories there are here!

You are missed by many, Mum & Noreen.

 

 

Love is a wonderful and necessary human connection to sustain life, but to love someone is to mourn for them once they are dead. I know that there is a saying along the lines of grieving is the price we pay for loving.

If this post has brought up memories or more grief from your past, there are people who will listen here: at Lifeline 131114.

Grieving is on-going and shows itself in all kinds of ways. It is something we live with. I know my grief today is heightened as it is an anniversary day.

I am going gently and kindly and thinking of my Mum and all she brought to my life…by giving me life.

Vale Noreen Simpson nee Chapple. Mum.

Mum’s Memories. After her cremation, Dad placed some of her ashes in pots, along with her favourite flower. Other family members did similarly.

Thank you for reading. I hope that it has not been too sad.

I am finding the power of writing on my blog a force for good.

Denyse.

 

 

Joining in with Natalie for Weekend Coffee Share today

Thank you Natalie.

https://natalietheexplorer.home.blog/

 

 

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Words To Live By In 2022. 2/51 #LifeThisWeek. 2/2022.

 Words To Live By In 2022. 2/51 #LifeThisWeek. 2/2022.

Welcome to the second link up for 2022 here at Denyse Whelan Blogs.

Thank you to Tanya for my new link up image. Do copy it for your blog if you share my link up there.

 

A reminder of the link up rules…not much has changed but it never hurts to have a refresher, right?

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a kind thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

 

Words To Live By…in 2022.

See my post from last week here.

I am adding more to the words:

BE

ME

I need to remember this word.

P I V O T

I have an issue with my right leg since the fibula was removed and it means I cannot ‘pivot’ myself with ease…I feel I could fall.

But that’s not what I meant.

There have been many occasions in 2021, particularly related to living in pandemic conditions when I have had to change my thoughts and activities that may have been planned. ‘Old’ me would have ranted and railed on some occasions, but now, I can express disappointment but learn to change my ‘tune’.

There was a ‘perfect’ example where I had to practise my pivoting and that was when our plans for Christmas Day in Sydney with our family was cancelled for us as I had symptoms of Covid and needed a PCR test.

But wait there is MORE.

I reckon I need to pivot almost every day…the huge change to how we ‘live with covid’ since Omicron exploded here and around the world means this.

For me and B, it’s about making ourselves a relatively safe place at home, like a virtual lockdown. I have had to say to my Dad, 98 tomorrow, that I am not driving down to see him because:

  1. My GP thinks I still have remnants of the virus that is not covid…he is right. I can be feeling well for a time, then whoosh, feel weak and lethargic and my gut is affected
  2. Keeping boundaries of self care rather than my old-hard-to-lose practices of people pleasing and I end up not doing well
  3. I will talk to Dad on the day, maybe even facetime if my brother is with him and I sent a card….

And we are literally taking each day at a time here.

Plans for this week, and into next week cannot be formally set. Covid threats and our health continuing to go well is paramount. We are doing what we can ….and it’s hard when I know we would love to see family and get out and about more. Not happening. For now, and the foreseeable future.

Want to use “pivot” too? Go ahead! It’s yours….

I will consider many of these words to help me

BE

ME

 

H.E.A.R.T.

words…..because I am a feelings person first!

Health  Empathy  Awareness      Rest     Trust    

Hope   Emotions    Acceptance       Revive        Truth  

Honesty    Education     Acknowledgment     Review      Time

Words from previous years to continue to  help guide me.

my WOTY 2021 is going to accompany me in 2022

SMILE from 2021 was a good one, as was GRATITUDE in 2020,

Thoughts on Gratitude

and the others before helped me through my cancer years B.O.L.D. and before then,

I gave ACCEPTANCE a go somewhat unsuccessfully in 2015 and KINDNESS in 2016.

Words To Help Remind Me About Living Well

  • I am also learning….to, as my husband tells me…hasten slowly.
  • I am a recovering striver*, with high achievements behind me and a pretty fast paced mind …matches my walking style.
  • * I made this up but it works for me to be more aware….
  • I will stroll more than walk at pace when I really want to surround myself with sensory memories.
  • I will continue my morning and evening meditation practice.
  • I will put my devices down for a time (increasing from 10 mins at first) to pick up a magazine or book.

I will not think that I have to DO something every.single.minute.

I am learning to BE ME more.

I will make mistakes and then I will say that’s OK, and remember what my intention is to have at age 72:

  • a somewhat less busy daily life
  • time for me
  • time for being with B
  • and time to play…with art, words, photos and more.
  • and I will be colouring my world.

Check out next week’s post about Colouring My World in 2022.

I am confident that it will all be something I learn to love and will wonder how I lead the life I did before now!

What do you think?

Denyse.

Life This Week. #273. 10.1.2022.

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* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a kind thing to do!

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* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

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35/51 #LifeThisWeek. Telling My Story. Ch. 26. Part 2/3. May-August 2021.106/2021.

Telling My Story. Chapter Twenty Six. 2021. Part 2/3. May – August.

The backstory first:

FOUR years ago now ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed.

Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at Chapter Twenty Six. Telling the story as 2021 progresses in three parts. Today is Part Two. May-August 2021.

So, in keeping with my ethical approach to all things, I am making the chapters about MY recollections to various changes in life for me, and us, and life as we knew it. I hope I can continue sharing the story without any intentionally negative or hurtful references to others who are in my life as friends and family members. All of the stories to date found here.

And with this chapter, a recent photo…taken overlooking the harbour at Dobroyd near where I grew up close to Manly N.S.W.

 

May 2021.

We had pretty good weather in May. We got outside even more. The covid ‘stuff’ had settled. However, we could never be quite sure of its whereabouts so we did “wearing a mask” when asked inside, and I know I was pretty casual about signing in using the State Government QR code. No-one was really practising social distancing but living on the coast, we did not have too many concerns.

We did not travel to Sydney for Mother’s Day this year even though I could have. It just wasn’t happening.

I got to celebrate my 4 years since my Head and Neck cancer diagnosis with a much anticipated visit to Sydney’s Lyric Theatre where I saw Hamilton.

Yes it was everything I had hoped and more. Wonderful.

That week I also came back to Westmead for a 6 month mouth check with my prosthodontist. All is well.

I stopped on my way home at a cafe in a nursery where I used to meet up with friends in Sydney days. It was lovely but it had changed as had I.

June. What happened?

We were continuing to be lulled into some kind of normality, living without too many restrictions and life was pretty good.

I visited my Dad to celebrate his 10 years living in his independent retirement Unit. He is going well.

I had my 6 months check with my regular dentist and he was very pleased with how well I care for my mouth and 8 teeth now! It’s always a treat going to him because we have such a history and he is a great cheerleader too.

I was delighted to recall that my head and neck cancer nurse, Cate, was a Woman of Courage on the blog too. But….the head and neck cancer group getting to Canberra was not able to happen because of Covid restrictions in Victoria and I took a reality check. The reality check for me was about how I would be able to eat when away from home over 3 nights and it was literally something I need to accept. A future post on eating and drinking challenges post head and neck cancer was planned.

But, we were going OK. In fact we had morning tea out twice using our government’s ‘dine in’ vouchers and I was excitedly planning the Soup for the Soul event with my friends from BluJ’s in Toukley.

 

And then late June 2021, just as the school holidays began, and we got excited about seeing our son and his family to celebrate our newly minted 8 year old’s birthday it was OFF. Back to Lockdown. Because of Covid 19 and ONE person’s infection from the newly seen and very nasty delta strain….it was not a good news day or week. So much changed in a very short time. STAY home. STAY safe. And as I write this ready for 30 August publication we are STILL in same lockdown. It’s actually become much more serious. More on that as I try to recall August! OK, we live on N.S.W. Central Coast, around 2 hours from centre of Sydney the capital of N.S.W. On 27 June 2021 we were declared to be part of Greater Sydney, along with Sydney and all its suburbs, Wollongong and Shellharbour to the south and the Blue Mountains to the west. NB: the Central Coast where we live was declared a regional area mid August.

The Hawkesbury River and Bridge. From the side where I took this photo it’s Central Coast.

July 2021.

July holds many memories for me since 2017. It marks the anniversary of my first head and neck cancer major surgery and reconstruction on 6 July (4 years this year) and 27.7 each year – since 2014, is World Head and Neck Cancer Day.

I met other people who were also head and neck cancer patients, carers and professionals in July 2018 at Central Coast Cancer Centre and in 2019 was part of the group called Central Coast Head and Neck Cancer Support who held a Soup for the Soul Event. And, each year the charity for whom I volunteer as an Ambassador, Head and Neck Cancer Australia, has awareness activities on line and encourages communities and individuals to host Soup for the Soul.

I was one who was going this with my friends at my local cafe but once lockdown came and they chose not to open as takeaway business was not a large amount of their trade, the event could not go ahead. So, I made it a virtual event and kind friends and professionals donated to a total of $305.

Some other memories and more from July 2021.

And August Arrived!

Of course we celebrated our daughter’s birthday. Post in detail here. We continued in lockdown which felt endless. I admit I did sometimes get very cranky on social media and then had to stop using it.

I tended then to spend more time outside, or doing something creative. I know preparing and sending off little packs of bookmarks was a positive experience.

Of course, Women of Courage continued on the blog but I was planning to bring it to a close soon. I stayed in contact on line with friends and family as much as practicable but also remembering people at work (even at home) are much busier than I am.

I had successful dental checks – of the regular kind. I am doing well after the surgeries I had in July and August 2021 and I am very grateful for that. I talk to Dad once a week. He is OK and finding the visitors restrictions within his unit complex quite frustrating. He is a sociable person. My brother and sister in law help him each week with shopping and some company. I haven’t been to see him since mid June because of “lockdown”.

I try to get out each day somewhere to notice nature – walking locally or driving somewhere near the water and that helps regulate my mood.

And to do this often:

 

What’s ahead and what other news is there?
No-one knows.

However, I know I am going well and have quite a few choices of art and creative ventures at home. B is making a new TV cabinet and has numerous small projects on the go. He is doing some on-line music lessons and I have similar ones for art. We would not be happy if the NBN stopped working!!

My dear husband has enjoyed writing his 3rd blog post, with another one to come. We are very well suited…different interests but shared common history, love of kids and education (not always the formal kind), and connecting with people. It’s the first time in our marriage of over 50 years that we have spent so much time together at home and for the most part…at least 99% …it’s going well.

Our next door neighbours have two little ones, one born just before Easter and when our family visits were curtailed and I had excess of mini cupcakes in the freezer, it’s been great to share (safely!) a couple of little boxes of treats. Their family cannot visit just as we cannot have ours come. Still, for the greater good.

We have made a promise, once new restrictions began for lockdown, to only go to two stand alone supermarkets, the doctors and chemist and (before they became more restricted in entry) Bunnings on occasions for B. On one day, only one of us goes out (for essential reasons) and we stick to that. I recently made a trip to the local Reject shop…the only place open in a large super centre to buy a stash of cards for upcoming birthdays and celebrations. I also got some fun items which have been sent to Sydney to two families for the school aged grandkids…a care package…costs more to post by express but I would rather they got them! Australia Post employees tell me they have never been busier.

Here’s  two days of contrast (weather and condition wise) at Soldiers Beach.

 

Mon 23.8.21. Warm weather

Great day but look at those clouds.

Windy & wet. Tues 24 August.

Same ‘area’ where person was snorkling on Monday!

 

 

UPDATE: In late August I heard very sad news. Two friends had both died of cancer. One of whom was a Woman of Courage. Her name is Tracey Fletcher King. Here is the link to her story:

The second person is Fergus McCulla, a young man I had the pleasure of meeting back in 2019 as he had questions to ask me about my surgeries for cancer in my mouth. Fergus’s cancer was a very nasty one, and despite “everything” he eventually left behind the pain and suffering, that as his Mum said, he never spoke about. On Tuesday, I will attend his funeral service which will be streamed on-line.

 

Sending my love to the  families and friends of both of these special people. Vale Tracey and Vale Fergus. I am honoured that our paths crossed.

 

 

 

 

And so the second of three parts of 2021 is done. I will of course, be finishing this year’s story. However, I am no longer going to update here as I have found it hard(er) than I imagined in the midst of other life stuff…meaning, I am reducing some of my ‘have to’s in 2022 and keeping Telling My Story going won’t be a blog post. I might do a summary one time, but the recall and record keeping is less appealing than when I committed to starting!

 

Thanks for reading. And maybe just skimming but looking at the pictures. That is cool too. I am grateful I have used this blog to make me accountable.

Last one will be published as the last blog post (and Link Up) for 2021. 51/51….but we have a few weeks to go to that, and I am not wishing the year away!

Denyse.

Link Up #255

Life This Week. Link Up #255

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply. It’s a kind connection I value as a blogger! 

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials, sales and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive in nature.

Next week’s optional prompt: 36/51 Self Care Stories #5. 6 Sept. Link Up #256

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24/51 #LifeThisWeek. Telling My Story. Ch.26. 2021. Pt 1/3. Jan-April. 73/2021.

Nourish 24/51 #LifeThisWeek. Telling My Story. Ch.26. 2021. Pt 1/3. Jan-April. 73/2021.

News Update:

  • I might have been driving to Canberra today getting ready to attend a Parliamentary Breakfast about Head and Neck Cancer on Tuesday 15 June, but this was not to be. Covid19 in Victoria prevented many of the attendees from coming, so now we “wait” until another date!
  • On Saturday, our time, Blogging Friend Marsha from AlwaysWrite Blog published a post after interviewing me and taking a great deal of time (and energy) to research this blog and find out more. The photo and the link is is now on the side of this blog  and for convenience, should you like to read it, I have it here too. I am very grateful for the way in which this was done AND I am very proud to say how much it means to me that #lifethisweek continues.
  • Taking the liberty today of not posting using the optional prompt, Nourish, but sharing the first third of 2021 in Telling My Story. Chapter 26, here it is.

Telling My Story. Chapter Twenty Six. 2021. Part 1/3. Jan-April.

The backstory first:

FOUR years ago now ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed.

Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at Chapter Twenty Six. Telling the story as 2021 progresses in three parts. Today is Part One. January to April 2021.

So, in keeping with my ethical approach to all things, I am making the chapters about MY recollections to various changes in life for me, and us, and life as we knew it. I hope I can continue sharing the story without any intentionally negative or hurtful references to others who are in my life as friends and family members. All of the stories to date found here.

And with this chapter, a recent photo…taken overlooking the harbour at Dobroyd near where I grew up close to Manly N.S.W.

January 2021.

The new year here was quiet. I adopted the word “smile” as my word of the year. We got into planning and organising mode for our upcoming 5o years of marriage celebration.

It was to be “just our kids and their kids” at our place on Saturday 23 January 2021 – the actual day but NO.

Could not be done.

Why? The Covid Restrictions from December 2020 continued into January. There would only be a maximum of 5 people visit a house. So…with disappointment but resignation, we had the celebration over 2 days…and it also continued the following Saturday. Posts are here and here and here!

January is a boys’ birthday month in the family,

My Dad first, turning 97.

Then our son, 41 and his nephew, our grandson turning 20.

I visited Dad on the day.

The weather was pretty mild in January and we did not get any power outages…always a worry when temps rise in Summer. In fact, it was an excellent and pleasant summer month.

Here’s some highlights in photos:

February 2021.

It becomes a bit like back to school, even though we are retired. Back to some regular routines and some necessary health matters. It was me who got to have a gastroscopy (to rule out any bleeding, it did) and then an iron infusion in hospital It sure worked. Levels went from 11 to 225. I kind of noticed and I could go for more walks and sustain them too.

I continued walking pretty consistently most days, visiting the shops but rarely now having a coffee and something to eat. It has become too expensive to do this now as well. Still, I enjoy getting out and about and just window shopping..most of the time! I still keep an eye on clothing bargains and they come and go. I cannot buy on line much at all. I need to try clothes on.

I did like walking when I saw these.

Lots of the eastern states ended up having awful floods and torrential rain. We are in a pretty new & modern  suburban area but lots of roads were affected. I stayed away from places until it is safe and then I ventured out to take photos. Sure were high levels even after a break in the rain.

I got back to the first Head and Neck Cancer Support Group Meeting in a year. It was excellent being back together. The isolation of covid did not help with connection did it?

I went to my first in-person entertainment event (and a first for everyone involved post-Covid) at Newcastle for the Newcastle Writers Festival where Julie Gillard was interviewed by Rosemarie Milsom.

 

Covid restrictions were lifted for visiting at home, so I asked our son if we could all gather together at his place on the day for his Dad’s 72nd and we had fun with all the kids coming, and some play, chatting and eating Grandma’s cakes and snacks. And we got a much longer for FAMILY photo.

March 2021.

My memory is not telling me any moments are standouts really. However, I do recall Easter was here somewhere in the mix. I also drove down to see my Dad in early March 2021 and went back to where he and Mum lived for many years (I did for 10) and had quite a spiritual experience. I became brave enough (it’s been from years of fear about having to use a toilet on way home on the M1) to go to St Ives shopping centre on the way home and treat myself to a wonderful coffee and a slice of carrot cake. Really proud of myself when I make those small shifts.

Felt Mum’s presence here…very close to where she lived…and also where she died, just across that part of the Harbour.

61. The same address as this house…but NOT this house that has replaced our home.

Mum and Butterfly sign…I loved that.

No-one visits us here for Easter – or on long weekends – at our request. The traffic on the M1 to and from Sydney is crazy. We had a drive over to see the water -sparkling – near Norah Head on Good Friday. And later that day, we got to meet the second son of our neighbours…who at less than a week old enjoyed nestling in my husband’s arms.

We just ticked along here at home, with some regular medical appointments and check ups and then….it was announced we could apply for our first dose of a Covid Vaccine. We enrolled at a doctors’ nearby as our GPs were not involved and it was a seamless, and painless and reaction-less experience.

April 2021.

School holidays happened and we were glad to host our son and his family. Great fun day with them, and the girls filled my art heart with joy when they got stuck into the activities they found in my study. The eldest and middle one had all started learning with me waaaay back at Glenwood to use media and materials. Fun.

Our daughter’s youngest was turning 9 and having a picnic birthday lunch. When I asked could I help, I was assigned “take home” bags and can you make them “non-gendered”. OK. I did my best and let me tell you, changing my thoughts about not for a boy or a girl but either was a challenge but I heard they were winners.

Here’s how it ended up. The event was held at Fagan Park and the kids brought scooters and had free rein to play, and then they all got a package of their own picnic. I have a very organised and thoughtful daughter.

Out and About In Nature.

Weather conditions.

Change of seasons.

Beaches.

Rivers.

Creeks.

Trees.

Flowers.

I love it all and try to capture it with my iphone. Here’s what happened in Autumn.

Special Event: Sunrise on A.N.Z.A.C. Day.

It had been about 5 years since I had risen earlier enough to capture sunrise, so when A.N.Z.A.C. Day was on a Sunday, I rose at 5.00 a.m. and drove to Soldiers Beach Carpark (2o minutes away) and found a rock to sit on & watch, wait and give thanks for a year that has not been great but we got through. I figured too I was honouring the original A.N.Z.A.C.s It was an amazing privilege. 25 April 2021.

As I drove back home, I stopped and photographed the cenotaph at Toukley R.S.L. My collage is from 2020 and then 2021.

A Special Day To Visit My Dad.

“I’ll be down to see you next on your Mother’s Birthday.” I said to Dad. So it was on 26th April, I drove to Dee Why where Dad lives in retirement comfort to share some morning tea and memories with him. His mother, Gran to me, came to Australia as a war bride in 1920 and her life was ‘T for tough’ for a number of reasons. So, 26th April, I tried to get 97 year old Dad to have some gratitude and compassion for this woman he remembers as sad and cranky.  I said it would be helpful if he could, to try to see the challenges she faced after leaving her home country. I think it made a difference to his thoughts.

My memories from the day of my visit.

From my stop at Pymble: lovely camellia.

Dad agreed to a photo this time…and we even stood for it. He “is” however, holding onto me. On the right of him, the photo on the wall is of his mother and father on their Wedding Day, 1920.

I always try to do a life selfie on my way home.

And as I leave Dad’s I often drive to where I can see the beaches I remember so well from living nearby as a teen. How fortunate I was for those years to be near Manly, and to go to Manly Girls High School…which, funnily enough was/is in Brookvale and now known as Northern Beaches Senior Campus. This is from Freshwater looking back to Manly, North Steyne and around that cliff is Queenscliff Beach.

And that, is it for now. The first third of 2021. It was made easier with the photos to help me remember ‘what, who, when’.

Thanks for reading this latest Telling My Story.

The whole series is here.

Denyse.

Copyright © 2021 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

Link Up #244

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