Tuesday 7th July 2020

Kindness In Covid19 Times. 24/51. #LifeThisWeek. 48/2020.

Kindness In Covid19 Times. 24/51. #LifeThisWeek. 48/2020.

None of us can deny Covid19 – Coronavirus – has changed much in our lives since the news of it emerged and then, over time, it affected many (if not all) of us directly and indirectly.

In wanting to recount some of the better aspects of life in Covid19 times, I chose to use this week’s prompt Kindness to hunt out examples from people I know and some from me.

Kindness in Covid19 times as observed by me…and an example too!

  • In the early days of the virus’ grip and the newness of what the restrictions around it meant to us all here in Australia, I noted the smiles and kind words of those who waited as the supermarket entrance to welcome but also ensure we were well enough to enter and to have a clean basket or trolley at the ready. I admit too, that their smiles were returned and a kind word added from me because it has been reported they did not always have the best of times dealing with an often panicked member of the public.

 

  • Moving around the supermarket in those early weeks meant ‘get in and out fast’ but then there was the disappointment of some needed products not being available. When I saw this and others too, we often smiled wryly and then said a few words with resignation  and got on with trying to source something different. One supermarket chain even had needed items behind the counter, kindly asking at the checkout if we needed: toilet paper or paper towels.

 

  • Our pharmacist quickly ramped up their services and offerings to help during those awful early days and made it very easy to have a free delivery of our prescriptions. I did, however, note when I visited one day soon after that the staff were incredibly stressed as not every person they saw understood the need for restrictions so I made sure, where I could, to enquire after them when I was back there. I hope someone got a smile back as a result.

 

  • People out walking…when everyone was confined to home for work/school…were always up for a smile or a quick hello if we happened to be out the front. There was a shared spirit of connection and ‘we can do this.’

 

Later in the Covid19 times:

  • I started my return to coffee places for a takeaway and I was told how grateful they were I had returned and thanked me for my support. How kind!

 

  • Later, I got to return to actually sit for my coffee at one of my favourites and when I asked about a ‘special size’ salad to suit my eating ability and needs, it was no trouble. In fact, it was something the owner was happy to provide me with.

 

  • Taking time to chat and ask how they were faring was something I did at each cafe. I listened to the stories. Often they had operated at a loss in the hope keeping open they would continue to help customers. I returned to one of those places more as a result.

 

And When I Asked Facebook Friends About Kindness They Wrote:

  • When I was still working at the start of the pandemic, a kind person started a list of people who would be willing to pick up groceries and do other messages for the elderly to enable them to stay at home and out of danger. Immediately there was a long list and a roster was made up. This has become a huge success with new life friendships being made. J.J.

 

  • My neighbour drops a hot coffee at my door every so often as she knows I’m WFH. Another neighbour put a huge box of stationery downstairs for kids in the building to collect to make crafts. A girlfriend called my kids to make sure they had something organised for Mother’s Day as I’m a single mum. K.A.

 

  • A friend (through Rotary connections) lives in a town near my MIL and offered to go and see her during the restrictions as we were unable to travel. MIL is an independent 89 year old who lives alone, out of town without any transport options nearby and is used to being on her own, but being vulnerable she was unable to get into town to do her usual shopping. Our friend not only offered to visit her but ended up helping with shopping and doctors appointments and even made her a cake for her birthday. She has been so kind to my MIL and kept us in the loop during recent health issues and she expects nothing in return. We are in her debt! D.H.

 

  • My neighbours (a working couple in their 30’s) delivered a note offering to do shopping or other errands, together with a bottle of wine and the offer of a chat any time. We live in an apartment. I believe the note was dropped into all 32 letterboxes. We know these neighbours very well. It was touching to see such thoughtfulness and practicality! A.H.

 

  • Our neighbors down the hall from us are both ER doctors & just had a baby in February. While the mom stayed home with the baby, her husband worked tirelessly in the ER with COVID cases. During the worst of the pandemic here in NYC they baked cookies for everyone on our floor to cheer all of US up!!! Incredibly caring & kind family. P.D.

Kindness IS personal. I guess for me, the first person I need to be kind to (in words especially) is me. Dropping the inner critic’s voice to a whisper rather than a shout! I am getting better. How about you?

I have written about Kindness before on the blog: here and here.

And last week I changed my blogging links area on right hand side of the blog to show my appreciation for groups of bloggers who do link up for our community called Life This Week AND for those who come here to comment at other times. Do link up a post, old or new, any Monday and if your blog and name is not (yet) there..I will add it. Let me know in the comments I am very grateful for this blogging community!

 

I am aware that each reader and blogger here has experienced the restrictions and rules of COVID19 differently according to their place of living. However, I did want to bring something of an element or quality we can all share:

K     I     N    D    N    E    S    S

What do you recall, in COVID19 times, of kindness? Maybe something you did or had happen to you.

Denyse.

Link Up #193.

Life This Week. Link Up #193.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

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* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt. 25/51 Share Your Snaps #5 22.6.2020

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Zero Birthdays. 47/51 #LifeThisWeek. 115/2019.

Zero Birthdays. 47/51 #LifeThisWeek. 115/2019.

I am pretty sure I made this prompt waaaaay before my zero birthday was due.

In fact, I often use a date as in inspiration for my prompts for Life This Week.

So, yes, later this week I will be “this many”

70

that is seventy….which means…. going into my 8th decade of life. 

I look(ed) like this two weeks before said birthday.

Decked out in my fave colours….which happen to also represent Beyond Five. Off on my morning tea date with my dear husband…who is already 70.

About Zero Birthdays.

I guess, like some (or many) I would prefer not to make too much of a fuss of me on any of my birthdays…BUT….not to forget it either! I have been better at organising and hosting birthday celebrations of the zero kind for my parents. They also did this themselves. Whilst Mum and Dad grew up in the Depression years where birthdays (let alone parties) were quietly noted, Dad especially has enjoyed marking the occasions. Mum not so much but she was the best BIRTHDAY cake maker. From scratch and sometimes even doing designs from the Womens Weekly Birthday Cake book for her grandchildren. In fact, for our daughter’s 10th (zero!) birthday I recall it was the Tennis Racquet cake.

We don’t seem to place much emphasis at all on zero birthdays until our 30th. Is that because we might think we are getting old(er). Interesting.

My 30th.

There are no photos from 40 years ago but i remember what we did. My best friend from teaching and her husband and son had their second child around the same time we had ours..with a similar gap of nearly 7 years so we did a Maccas birthday party. Just a meal at Maccas but it felt right and fun – I don’t think there were party rooms then. In fact, it’s the Maccas where I stop for a coffee and loo break on my way to Westmead!

My 40th.

Nothing to recall. However, I do remember my husband having a lovely cake made by a lady whose son came to him for tutoring and we had a family dinner.

My 50th.

It was at the end of the first year as a principal. We’d also become grandparents for the second time. My ‘wish’ was for my mum to cook a baked lamb dinner for my birthday which she did and our daughter hosted the evening. It was very pleasant and Mum even made me the cake. At that birthday I was given the same present my husband got for his 50th. Personalised number plates for the upcoming Sydney Olympics! 20 years ago next year everyone!! Those plates are still on our cars.

Mum’s 80th.

Mum had some sayings. Like this one: “don’t wait till a funeral to tell  people what you liked about them”…words to that effect anyway. She HAD a point. It may be just our family but I reckon people are very circumspect in tell others of their kindness, memories and how that person has played a part in their life. So, Mum..we listened and for your 80th you got it in spades!

Actually very glad we did as poor Mum was not well for the next two years (no-one really knew exactly what except it could have been partly neurological) and died a few months after her 82nd birthday.

What did we do?

It was family meal at our place and attended by my parents, brother, his wife and grown children. Our children.  along with three grandchildren, were present in late 2004. I did the main entertaining space up with photos and words on pages from Mum’s life – a timeline – which later became a memory book. There were streamers and balloons (der!) as I am a party-kid and of course the grandkids who were around 7, 5 and 3 loved that too. Before the party evening (everyone contributed to catering, and I think we had a cake made) each person who wanted to, wrote a tribute to Mum or what memories they had of her. Before the meal, we all shared those words with Mum and it was wonderful. I recall photos and maybe a mini  movie. Goodness knows where that ended up. Technology has changed in so many ways in 15 years.

My 60th.

Turned out I really was keen to mark this occasion. I turned 60 at the end of the year that was my FINAL one as a teacher (principal era finished 6 years before) and wanted a celebration. My family and friends (all female) were guests at a High Tea at a local Hotel at Bella Vista. The guests were my youngest granddaughter of only a few months (and her Mum!) , my older granddaughters, my daughter, friends from teaching and it was lovely. The following day my husband, kids and partners (and said 3 month old baby) along with my Dad had lunch at a restaurant in Castle Hill and ON the actual day, in the afternoon, the littlest grandkids threw me a little at home party. My cup of appreciation, love and celebration was FULL!

My husband’s 70th.

Definitely not one for celebrating loudly …at all but of course, some recognition for his birthdays have been acceptable especially where grandkids and cake are involved. It was his choice this year to be low-key. There was going to be a family lunch here but he was unwell that weekend, so we caught up much later. On the actual day “we” celebrated with a card – and I am guessing, from his expression some kind and loving (maybe funny too) words.

 

Dad’s 90th.

At the beginning of 2014, Dad turned 90. He had been a resident (very happily and independently) in a lovely retirement unit complex at Dee Why for almost 3 years. He had been widowed for 7. He was keen to celebrate new friendships (from the place at Dee Why) and be joined by old friends (Golf) as well as us, his family, which was then my brother & his wife, and me, our  respective kids and everyone’s partners. My husband was not well enough to attend so he recorded a message for Dad. There were 7 great grandchildren and four grandchildren present.

Dad thought he had it all organised and under control and he did from a physical sense: room at Dee Why RSL booked and paid for, a special menu, family to decorate the room, photographs organised and a plan for celebration and commemoration of the occasion with speeches and, of course, a powerpoint. Our daughter made all the labels, I did place settings with thank yous and the day progressed well.

Until after everyone had spoken and Dad had seen (and heard) the “this is your life” I made via powerpoint…and he could not speak without breaking down.

It truly overwhelmed him and he even forgot to thank us. He talked about and reflected on that occasion for the next…um..year!

So, that IS it for zero birthdays for now… Dad is 96 in early January 2020 and he is reasonably well. It still feels weird for me to be turning 70 and having my Dad around. I can’t feel OLD while he is still alive, right??

 

How do you celebrate zero birthdays?

I want to pay tribute to Lydia from here for her words which encouraged me to celebrate my 70th! Thank you. Looking forward to my birthday  as a result: with a small morning tea on Thursday and a family lunch on the actual day, Saturday…and seeing my Dad and brother the following week.

Denyse.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s optional prompt is: 48/51 Self Care Stories.  2/12/19

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Women Of Courage Series. #23. Lisa Greissl. 108/2019.

Women Of Courage Series. #23. Lisa Greissl. 108/2019.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid May 2019: Wednesdays: each week.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

Lisa Greissl, aged 35, and I met first on-line thanks to having our cancer treatments at the same place: Chris O’Brien Lifehouse and later when I became a ‘maker of bookmarks’ which I supplied over quite a few months in 2018 to be added to The Big Hug Boxes and Random Hug of Kindness Boxes. This woman has energy in her life propelled by her desire for spreading kindness and appreciation as well as the ‘joy of living’ post-cancer. Lisa’s story tells it better. However, I wanted to add, she is the most beautiful person inside and out, having met her family I can attest to much of the ‘why’ she needed to continue her life so fully post-cancer! Thanks Lisa. I do value your work and our friendship.

 

 

 

 What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

There have been many occasions requiring me to be courageous, but the most significant was just after the birth of my second daughter where I was sent by a midwife completing her home visit to myself and bub to get a scan.

Only 5 days after bub was born I was back in hospital after a blood clot was found in my main iliac vein and further investigations were to commence. Little did we know soon we would be calling on courage to get through the next year.

My family, friends and I were all left completely shocked as I was diagnosed surrounded by a group of around 10 specialists crammed into a little room saying that I had a rare form of cancer, a Teratoma on my spine.

We had no choice but to put on our courage cape and face this battle with everything we had. Even though I was the one facing the challenge I honestly believe during this time my family and friends had to be more courageous as they watched their loved one struggle through treatment and recovery whilst ensuring all the day to day tasks were taken care of. My husband in particular, had a two year old and a newborn to take care of whilst I was receiving treatment in Sydney.

 

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

In this circumstance, being courageous was not an option. I chose to embed a positive mindset and a promise to never give up. As I was to find out as treatment progressed, It also put into perspective on what nothing to lose really meant.

This has changed me in approaching new challenges where I have chosen to embrace requiring courage in a positive way of achieving my dreams which has seen me achieve things that I never thought possible.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

Courage is not a switch on and switch off emotion. It is something embedded in all of us ready to be used when necessary, do not fear for the unknown but give yourself some peace in that when you need courage, you can and you will be able to use it.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

I now utilise courage often to believe in myself and what I can achieve.

Your mindset is a powerful tool to accomplish the what seems impossible and I continue to embed a mindset of “I can, I will”  which as mentioned I know is in within myself ready to be used in which I have surprised myself in what I can achieve. As a result of sharing stories and my mindset, I was able to create and become the Founder of the charity The Big Hug Box in 2018. Helping cancer patients find their courage through a giftbox filled with comforting and empowering products for patients facing cancer.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

I would be lying if there were not times where I questioned if I really had the courage to attempt to achieve my big goals but from my previous experiences, I now understand that courage multiplies courage.

I also understand the impact of the saying that “Hope is stronger than fear” and mindset is everything to assist in enduring the toughest of challenges, when we are at the most challenging point.

But also to add to this, courage is not just required in tough and difficult times, courage can be used when you have a goal and to add to the saying above that hope is greater than fear is that on the other side of hope is the uncapped magnitude to achieve your dreams, and that this is in the ability of everyone.

 

 

Lisa story is amazing and we have met. I offered to make bookmarks to be included in the Big Hug Boxes in 2018 and then as Lisa’s ideas spread to Random Hugs of Kindness Boxes I was part of a ‘packing team’ at her house further up the coast from mine. I met her family and friends, and one very special friend Tracy who was the first Ambassador for The Big Hug Box. Tragically Tracy’s cancer could not be tamed and she died after a life lived fully earlier this year. Lisa teaches me that resilience is important and to adjust your life to make the most of it. As a runner with a now-damaged leg from her surgery, Lisa turned to a new fitness activity and that is rowing. Her zest for life is infectious. Recently I sent a Big Hug Box to Tracey whose story was published recently. If you would like to share kindness with someone you know who has cancer, please click on the links and find out how.

Packing Random Hugs of Kindness Boxes. 2018.

Thank you for sharing, Denyse.

Social Media:

Blog/Website: www.thebighugbox.com

Facebook Page: The Big Hug Box

Instagram: @thebighugbox

 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends and on Fridays, it’s Open Slather here with Alicia.

Copyright © 2019 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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Share Your Snaps 4. 20/51 #LifeThisWeek. 53/2019.

Share Your Snaps 4. 20/51 #LifeThisWeek. 53/2019.

Every 4th week for #lifethisweek the optional prompt is about sharing your photos. Less wordy….more visual is the intent. See how I go this time!

It was a momentous week in Australian politics.

The new prime minister of Australia is the one who was there before the election. Nothing else to add.

Australia’s legendary PM from 1983 and for 4 terms was Bob Hawke and he died 2 days out from the 2019 election. I honour Bob here for the good he did (and I know some remember differently) and that he took time to answer my then 7 year old son’s letter when he wrote to him about ‘not wanting a war to happen’. I have since found more people got letters back from Bob Hawke, written in his own time and signed. No PM has done that since I have heard. Thank you!

But it has been a pretty big week for me…actually an anniversary of 2 years since my cancer was diagnosed. I am very grateful to be as well as I am. I have a visit to my head and neck cancer surgeon tomorrow and “hope” all being well, the next visit will be in 6 months.

Marking the occasion was by making a HUGE mandala which I started a month or so ago to literally remember by a space on this and a photo of me from every month.

I also made these photo collages. I find it really helpful and motivating for me to “look back and see how far I have come”. Here they are:

Before May 2017 diagnosis, I was ‘trying’ to be smiling and well but something was lurking….from 2016 onwards

 

Recovery & surgery times: July 2017 onto Nov then into Feb 2018

 

Surgeries x 2 recovery and then…many trips to Westmead for upper prosthesis. Teeth added: 21 Aug 2018

 

Smiles for day…months and more!

 

Taking this up to recent weeks. Of course, I still have to be wary of eating and it takes a LONG time to eat small amounts requiring chewing but very happy indeed.

For about 6 months I toyed with the idea of getting an Apple Watch. Those who have read some of my Instagram posts know I now have this but I shall share more. I wanted to have “something” to mark the 2 years of cancer done but it seemed extravagant for us on a tight budget to get one. I had this idea I would sell some books and CDs towards a saving plan and actually that brought in $100 net! Thanks friends here. Then on Friday, 17 May 2019, I was taken on our morning tea date and when it was over, asked did I want to go get this Apple Watch now!? Apparently my face showed it all. SURPRISED! So, it is never “that” easy because one shop did not have the colour and size in stock but another did and off I drove happily that afternoon. And what I totally love about an Apple Product is…unwrapping. One day with the watch already and I will be, at some stage, changing the band. No blue tooth earbuds yet either. I shall wait and see.

Denyse.

Kell also has a Monday linkup here. Join in!

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Weeks’ Optional Prompt: 21/51 Self-Care: Share Your Story #3 27/5/19

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My Word for 2017. #LifeThisWeek 2/52. 2017.5.

My Word for 2017. #LifeThisWeek 2/52. 2017.5.

My word is KINDNESS.

I know the world is a better place for kindness from others and given to others. I also want to focus more on offering Loving-Kindness to myself first…and then to more people along the way.

Glen Campbell’s words ring true in this beautiful video representation of kindness from a video I liked most which is from a Christian perspective. Whether a ‘believer’ or not, there IS something about the reaching out to others to connect us that MAKES kindness so very important. Glen’s music was such a part of my life and I am saddened that he passed away after a long illness  but the gift that is his music remains.

For that I am grateful.

The lyrics: Try A Little Kindness Glen Campbell

If you see your brother standing by the road

With a heavy load from the seeds he’s sowed

And if you see your sister falling by the way

Just stop and say, you’re going the wrong way

You got to try a little kindness

Yes show a little kindness

Just shine your light for everyone to see

And if you try a little kindness

Then you’ll overlook the blindness

Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

Don’t walk around the down and out

Lend a helping hand instead of doubt

And the kindness that you show every day

Will help someone along their way

You got to try a little kindness

Yes show a little kindness

Just shine your light for everyone to see

And if you try a little kindness

Then you’ll overlook the blindness

Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

Repeat last verse.

Songwriters: BOBBY AUSTIN, CURT SAPAUGH © OBO APRA/AMCOS

For non-commercial use only. Data from: LyricFind

This was my word/s from 2016 and I have to admit it was a hard slog living up to the words AND remembering them!
 
So, have you decided on a ‘word’ for the year ahead or are you not into it?
I am somewhat divided on it as I have found that I can choose the word and write  about it but then the challenge becomes remembering what it was as the year progresses! 
I hope you have linked up for Life This Week 2/52. 2017.
On Mondays I link up here with Alicia for Open Slather and Kell here for Mummy Mondays.
Denyse.

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