Friday 27th May 2022

Being Me: February 2022 Review. #WOTYLinkParty. 11/2022.

Being Me: February 2022 Review. #WOTYLinkParty. 11/2022.

Last month I wrote here and joined in this new linky party.

Back again to this new linky hosted by friends Deb, Sue,  Donna and  Jo too.

 

I am glad to have the chance to write about my Word of The Year progress

….even though mine are two…and despite being little actually are BIG in terms of making changes.

For me, it’s often easier to link my progress and review with photos as they have the memories of the time embedded. It helps me anyway!

Being Me: Health-wise.

  • I admit I held quite a bit of stress and anxiety relating to not being well from late November onwards.
  • I know that ‘it’s me’ and how I am and can BE yet I would like to manage this with greater ease.

THIS got me through really tough times….and now, I have to soften…and go slower…

  • I went to my general practitioners’ rooms a couple of times because I still was not well and wanted reassurance more than anything.
  • That wasn’t quite forthcoming until I got the results of the tests I’d had. One related to ‘my bowels’ and whilst I knew it was most likely I.B.S. it was necessary for a pathology confirmation.
  • That turned out fine.

In fact my main G.P. when I finally saw him after his 3 weeks on holiday was pleased to hear of my better healthy days. Yet still.

I did need to ‘fess up about I.B.S. and my constancy of worry about it after its long absence.

And I surprised myself (and him) when I said

“I think I am going to see any I.B.S. as a barometer of my health. In fact, I now know, that last year, after the virus, I probably continued to try to do too much (again) and back it came”.

I might get some help but in the end I am the one who does what I can…to BE ME

So, from this conversation and into reality I now:

accept

this

as

part

of

me

and

offer

myself

compassion

now

not blame.

 

But, I hear you and me say…”that is HARD and now you are not being hard on yourself but self-compassionate, HOW is it working for you”?

In January 2022 I signed up for a very helpful and much needed program right for me, now, called Self-Compassion App. I found it initially via the App store (iphone) and then when they offered a 20% off subscription after the 3 free days, I took that up.

 

The Self-Compassion App: app icon

The Self-Compassion App

 

I have written about it here but the various reflections, learnings and actions have all contributed to me being:

  • Kind(er) in my self-talk
  • Encouraging when I may be feeling a little anxious
  • Able to see these things (feelings, thoughts) do eventually pass

A human BEING with all the frailties and qualities that make me the ME I am more comfy with these days.

How I Help Myself.

The first time I realised I could choose to do less to be more I couldn’t quite believe it.

As a life-time doing person, helping person, sharing and teaching person, I was not sure that I could until I realised this:

I

Had

Little

Choice

Now

because I was/am keen not to fall back into the behaviours of ‘older’ me but not yet quite as wise me!

After making adjustments for myself and then in discussion with Head and Neck Cancer Australia CEO, I know I can continue my role into my 4th year but in a less active one and with fewer needs to drive and attend meetings. This graphic is from my twitter header.

February is FREE for Me to Plan…or Not! 

So, this is/was new. Very new.

I can plan my own February…..

It took me a bit to give myself permission to enjoy a morning tea out with me. Half the muffin came home for B. I really loved being back ‘people watching’ too.

Change Takes Time:

I have always I guess since I was a kid, been ready to throw myself into whatever the first term of school, whether as student or teacher brought.

In retirement back in Sydney, it often meant, back to grandchild care some days a week, and perhaps school pick ups.

In volunteer land (we have both inhabited that for many years) it meant the gearing up of activities to plan, places to be and work of some kind to do, for others.

Meetings. Face to face or via zoom and writing and helping others.

It often meant, since 2017 appointments for my head and neck cancer checks, surgeries, treatments with the prosthodontist and more.

I gave myself permission to STOP.

I am learning so much about myself from freeing myself too.

I am learning that I am a valuable person to myself and my husband and family.

I am learning that I do not need to DO as much now, to continue my life moving forward and that the last almost 5 years have taken a toll of sorts.

I was always ready to go, to drive, to put up with a lot of time waiting, to recover, to do without eating for ages, to not plan too far ahead, and to keep trusting that my head and neck cancer professional team knew exactly what they were doing…but

I felt a great deal of emotional stress and some physical stress over those years.

I now realise I am was can feel emotionally worn out….but definitely NOT out!

So now I self- nurture.

And I wrote about the unexpected but actual GRIEF that overtook me recently here.

 

And so far, I am loving that I am giving back to me to be me…..Sunday solo excursions listening to an audible book or some fave music. I love these times

And I continue to be grateful and remembering how to BE ME in a different time in my life. I may be ageing (aren’t we all) and into my early 70s but I am also learning to BE which is a challenge I am prepared to take!

Thanks for your interest in my post for Word of The Year.

I look forward to catching up with yours and others soon too.

Denyse.

P.S. For regular readers and those who link up with me on Mondays, come on over this coming Monday, 28th February to catch up on some N E W S.

 

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On Being Me. #WOTY2022. 6/2022.

On Being Me. #WOTY2022. 6/2022.

Blogging friends, Debbie, Sue, Jo and Donna began a monthly link up relating to their words of the year.

From Debbie’s page: 

This year I’m joining co-hosts Donna, Jo and Sue to provide a link party for anyone who also wants to write a monthly update to help keep the focus on their WOTY. Hoping you can join in with us.

So for this month, I am here…because I NEED to share…and that’s what blogging is all about, right?

Thank you all.

Here goes.

My TWO but very small words of the year are:

Be Me.

So what? Well, as a long time….aka about most of my 72 years I have been far more of a ‘doing’ person than a ‘being’ person although I admit over the past few years I have learned how I like to be:

  • at one with myself during some art work
  • at one just with nature somewhere
  • and listening to an audio book of interest

And yet, my busy mind, along with my A type personality and leadership as a trait, I find it harder to admit that there are parts of being me I am yet to feel comfortable with.

By that I mean:

I have always lived my life until retirement using labels and titles as descriptors. Even in retirement, over the past 7 or so years, I have added titles because they are (for me) identifiers and that is very important for me.

But what is this to do with BEING me?

Quite a bit because in the past few months I have opted for the doing part of me many times over the being part of me and late in 2021 it became messy…in fact more than that, I became unwell with something that might have been a virus, or now, as it has happened to me twice this year so far, the OLD and familiar but not welcomed Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

I am a feelings based being. I own that!

Last week I went back to Dr Claire Weekes’ work on Nervous Illness

I do talk a bit with B, and admit to myself that I struggle at times….

Is it time for Me to own up to Being Me Now?

YES.

But it is a bit hard. However, I am aware of the kindness of others and remember this day well..when Trent Dalton told me he thought I was kind!

I am listening to an audiobook right now that is the clearest message I have ever taken on board about ageing, and the years I am already in, and on making changes in my life that no longer serve me into my 70s.

I can say it’s helped me enormously as I identified with much I heard yesterday and have now bought the e-book so I can understand and re-visit the points so well made.

It’s not often that something helps with immediacy but this time it did.

I am going to share in a post in 2 weeks on a Monday what has changed for ME and my life going forward….

But for now,

I am still that very messy work-in-progress we all know we have inside. This time, though I am greeting myself withe messages based on self-compassion. I am almost at the end of a 28 day program which had me consider my own levels of compassion towards others versus towards myself.

Quite a difference, but very enlightening.

And I will be writing in particular about reality checks of ageing.  From MY perspective and what I am learning from others.

In fact, it’s made me consider moving past the familiar labels to BE

a later life blogger who writes about ageing and her reality of ageing.

Thank you for your first link up Deb, Sue, Jo and Donna.

I will see you again if my posts fit the bill.

I hope to see you on Monday if you want to link up for Life This Week.

Warm wishes,

Denyse.

 

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