Sunday 5th July 2020

Kindness In Covid19 Times. 24/51. #LifeThisWeek. 48/2020.

Kindness In Covid19 Times. 24/51. #LifeThisWeek. 48/2020.

None of us can deny Covid19 – Coronavirus – has changed much in our lives since the news of it emerged and then, over time, it affected many (if not all) of us directly and indirectly.

In wanting to recount some of the better aspects of life in Covid19 times, I chose to use this week’s prompt Kindness to hunt out examples from people I know and some from me.

Kindness in Covid19 times as observed by me…and an example too!

  • In the early days of the virus’ grip and the newness of what the restrictions around it meant to us all here in Australia, I noted the smiles and kind words of those who waited as the supermarket entrance to welcome but also ensure we were well enough to enter and to have a clean basket or trolley at the ready. I admit too, that their smiles were returned and a kind word added from me because it has been reported they did not always have the best of times dealing with an often panicked member of the public.

 

  • Moving around the supermarket in those early weeks meant ‘get in and out fast’ but then there was the disappointment of some needed products not being available. When I saw this and others too, we often smiled wryly and then said a few words with resignation  and got on with trying to source something different. One supermarket chain even had needed items behind the counter, kindly asking at the checkout if we needed: toilet paper or paper towels.

 

  • Our pharmacist quickly ramped up their services and offerings to help during those awful early days and made it very easy to have a free delivery of our prescriptions. I did, however, note when I visited one day soon after that the staff were incredibly stressed as not every person they saw understood the need for restrictions so I made sure, where I could, to enquire after them when I was back there. I hope someone got a smile back as a result.

 

  • People out walking…when everyone was confined to home for work/school…were always up for a smile or a quick hello if we happened to be out the front. There was a shared spirit of connection and ‘we can do this.’

 

Later in the Covid19 times:

  • I started my return to coffee places for a takeaway and I was told how grateful they were I had returned and thanked me for my support. How kind!

 

  • Later, I got to return to actually sit for my coffee at one of my favourites and when I asked about a ‘special size’ salad to suit my eating ability and needs, it was no trouble. In fact, it was something the owner was happy to provide me with.

 

  • Taking time to chat and ask how they were faring was something I did at each cafe. I listened to the stories. Often they had operated at a loss in the hope keeping open they would continue to help customers. I returned to one of those places more as a result.

 

And When I Asked Facebook Friends About Kindness They Wrote:

  • When I was still working at the start of the pandemic, a kind person started a list of people who would be willing to pick up groceries and do other messages for the elderly to enable them to stay at home and out of danger. Immediately there was a long list and a roster was made up. This has become a huge success with new life friendships being made. J.J.

 

  • My neighbour drops a hot coffee at my door every so often as she knows I’m WFH. Another neighbour put a huge box of stationery downstairs for kids in the building to collect to make crafts. A girlfriend called my kids to make sure they had something organised for Mother’s Day as I’m a single mum. K.A.

 

  • A friend (through Rotary connections) lives in a town near my MIL and offered to go and see her during the restrictions as we were unable to travel. MIL is an independent 89 year old who lives alone, out of town without any transport options nearby and is used to being on her own, but being vulnerable she was unable to get into town to do her usual shopping. Our friend not only offered to visit her but ended up helping with shopping and doctors appointments and even made her a cake for her birthday. She has been so kind to my MIL and kept us in the loop during recent health issues and she expects nothing in return. We are in her debt! D.H.

 

  • My neighbours (a working couple in their 30’s) delivered a note offering to do shopping or other errands, together with a bottle of wine and the offer of a chat any time. We live in an apartment. I believe the note was dropped into all 32 letterboxes. We know these neighbours very well. It was touching to see such thoughtfulness and practicality! A.H.

 

  • Our neighbors down the hall from us are both ER doctors & just had a baby in February. While the mom stayed home with the baby, her husband worked tirelessly in the ER with COVID cases. During the worst of the pandemic here in NYC they baked cookies for everyone on our floor to cheer all of US up!!! Incredibly caring & kind family. P.D.

Kindness IS personal. I guess for me, the first person I need to be kind to (in words especially) is me. Dropping the inner critic’s voice to a whisper rather than a shout! I am getting better. How about you?

I have written about Kindness before on the blog: here and here.

And last week I changed my blogging links area on right hand side of the blog to show my appreciation for groups of bloggers who do link up for our community called Life This Week AND for those who come here to comment at other times. Do link up a post, old or new, any Monday and if your blog and name is not (yet) there..I will add it. Let me know in the comments I am very grateful for this blogging community!

 

I am aware that each reader and blogger here has experienced the restrictions and rules of COVID19 differently according to their place of living. However, I did want to bring something of an element or quality we can all share:

K     I     N    D    N    E    S    S

What do you recall, in COVID19 times, of kindness? Maybe something you did or had happen to you.

Denyse.

Link Up #193.

Life This Week. Link Up #193.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

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*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt. 25/51 Share Your Snaps #5 22.6.2020

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The Value Of A Smile. 46.1./2020.

The Value Of A Smile. 46.1./2020.

I’ve been contemplating the ways in which smiling can improve my/our health.

Maybe too, because of being socially isolated and  when being out keeping our distance, I have noted that when engaging with people a smile cuts through any communication to be gain a positive response often with a smile back!

Have you noticed this too?

Regular readers here will know I lost my smile for a long time when the top half of my mouth (and some of my top lip too) was removed because of head and neck cancer, and that I really, really missed my smile!

Recovering from Cancer Surgery 2017. Smiling as Best I Could.

Interesting to get to know my needs for social inclusion were/are based on my ability to connect with my smile.

I think it is fascinating that of the three things I lost for a while after the July 2017 surgery: ability to eat & drink, talking clearly and smiling…that I found

S M I L I N G was what I needed to do most.

There is science in this too!

Recently I read this:

We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do. Peace begins with a smile.

Mother Theresa.

Years ago, I was seeing a psychiatrist for some issues and he talked of the fake it till you make it smile. It seemed silly to me then, but apparently there IS something to this.

I can share this practice , from my experiences of meditation and being mindful, of not allowing myself to retreat or resist what I am not liking. I still need to remember this. In fact, I ask myself ‘what am I afraid to admit, or do or be’?

I need to be in the moment. The only moment as that’s all I have.

Yet, the physical act of helping my body make a smile, works. It’s like a circuit breaker. I can look in the mirror and smile. Not always genuinely but it changes things.

Further advice in troubled times:

  • life the corners of your mouth with your fingers, literally putting a smile on your face.

  • let the smile remind you that acceptance is more powerful than resistance.

  • breathe deeply, then exhale slowly

  • invite yourself to be curious about whatever set of circumstances initiated your resistance.

           Ashley Davis Bush: The Little Book of Inner Peace.

I do engage as much as I can with feeling gratitude each day (and made a promise to do this every day in 2020). Smiling reminds me of how grateful I am for my health, and that even though my top lip is shrinking back somewhat, smiling is one very sound exercise as is connecting with the people around me.

I made my first vlog…I am not sure that is what I call it…but I now have the ability to make mini-videos at home and sorted my channel on You Tube to be able to do so. Yes, the ending is a bit unproffesh but the message is mine!

Take care, people….and do remember to smile.

Denyse.

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Self-Care Stories #7 48/51 #LifeThisWeek.117/2019.

Self-Care Stories #7 48/51 #LifeThisWeek.117/2019.

Dear Readers,

We have finished the series for 2019 for Self-Care. However, “I” know how much it means to me to continue the practice of caring for the self…and so it will return as a regular prompt in 2020.

 

My approach for self-care in recent weeks.

Daily. Every Day.

I’ve long been the fan of my morning ritual of:

  • dress with purpose
  • go out to a coffee shop, shopping centre, cafe….
  • order my small, latte, double shot in a glass…..
  • open my current art journal and see where I am at..or what I want to share today
  • and often have two of these little biscuits

IF I do not get to do this because of being unwell or in Sydney for an appointment I really, really miss it so as best as I can, it’s the next day for me.

About the journal.

  • all pages are art-paper – heavy-ish quality
  • all are blank
  • sometimes I prep a page layout with paint at home
  • I write a bit
  • I might add a list- for example, what went well
  • I write to get stuff out…usually helpful and always something I need to do and work on
  •  I add in little patterns and designs
  • I make one if these little babies last me about 2-3 months if I can because they are expensive
  • I used a changing range of unipin black pen (0.5 or 0.8) for writing, outlining and some mixed media for colour

Something to read.

Only recently, when I found this little book, have I read something in this special self care time. This book has given me so many insights and I find myself nodding in agreement. It has confirmed lots of what I have been learning in these recent years and it’s done in such a great, easy-to-follow way.

Author: Ashley Davis Bush

This excerpt is from: Enjoy Your Non-Toothache.

The wise Vietnamese spiritual leader Thich Nhat Hanh talks about gaining inner peace via the path of noticing what you don’t have. His classic is to enjoy your “non-toothache”. If you’ve ever had toothache you will know (as I do well!) it causes a bit of pain..ok, a lot of pain. All you do when you have it is notice it, thinking about it…..you’d give anything not to have a toothache.

However when the toothache is gone, you quickly forget about the pain and immediately begin to focus on other issues or concerns.

For this equanimity practice write a list of ten things that, for today, you are currently NOT experiencing, but would definitely be unpleasant if you were. In other words, write a list of “it could be worse” items.

The author’s list:

  1. I enjoy not being homeless
  2. I enjoy not being in hospital
  3. I enjoy not vomiting
  4. I enjoy not have a migraine
  5. I enjoy not declaring bankruptcy
  6. I enjoy not going blind
  7. I enjoy not being caught outside in a blizzard
  8. I enjoy not losing my electricity
  9. I enjoy my car not having a flat tyre
  10. I enjoy not having a serious illness.

Here’s my list as of time of writing

  1. I enjoy not being in pain
  2. I enjoy not being employed as a principal
  3. I enjoy not being worried about my job
  4. I enjoy not have issues with IBS today
  5. I enjoy not having a deadline for anything
  6. I enjoy not needing to do Christmas shopping
  7. I am really enjoying not having to prepare family meals each night
  8. I am enjoying not feeling pressured for any reason to be anywhere
  9. I am enjoying not being in treatment for head and neck cancer
  10. I am enjoying not being in debt

How is your self-care?

Meeting up with friends is a really important part of my self-care and I am so glad to have people I know to do so!

On  a recent Monday Kirsty  and I met for coffee and a good old catch up. Kirsty is one busy lady and I am glad to see her role helping educators and parents better understand kids with special needs is taking off. Kirsty can be found here.

 

Sanch and I caught up recently when we met for coffee! Wishing my blogging friend all the best in her new job AND new place of living.  Her blog is here. I shall miss her presence in my life on the Central Coast! I am sure we will catch up again though!!

Excellent Self-Care on 18 November with Sanch!

Self-caring and sharing with my blogging & social media friends recently for my 70th Birthday! 

L-R. Me, Sam, Veronica, Grace & Kimba

 

I hope your self-care is going well!

Tell me more in the comments.

Denyse.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s optional prompt is: 49/51 Taking Stock #5 9/12/19

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My Zen Is Found In The Garden. Part One. 37/2019.

My Zen Is Found In The Garden. Part One. 37/2019.

I really did not ever enjoy gardening. I think it was the labour of it and also I liked the ‘look’ of a garden but not so much the hard work. This changed for me once I was well and truly retired from all work.

We still lived in Sydney then and had a lovely pool area which incorporated garden beds around the perimeter. Over time, we (ok, my husband) laboured more intensively and made some delightful screening areas as well as adding plants and shrubs.

The pool area in its early stages, but the time the house was sold late 2014 it was more filled with greenery and colour.

I liked tending to some of the new plants, helped with cutting back the fast-growing vines and also put some plants in seasonally e.g. sweet peas. They went against the pool fence far left and it was something I enjoyed doing with my little grandkids who we cared for 3 days a week. Oh, and for anyone worried, the pool gates were always locked and an adult would accompany a child into the pool area at all times.  Very strict on that!

Then we sold our family home and moved to the Central Coast to rent. The first house we rented was a waterfront and, by the way, we would not choose waterfront again because the salty air does affect computers and other appliances. This place had some native trees but not much else.

After wanting to get away to an easier house to live in and be more comfortable, we chose an established home that had one owner and was in the northern area of the Central Coast N.S.W. And those people planted a LOT…..of palm trees, and tropical plants….and I sure got some frustrations out chopping them back. The HUGE frangipani in the back yard needed some cutting back but the beauty each Spring to Summer was worth the mess of the fallen petals!

Now where was I?

Zen in the garden.

As I really needed to become more mindful and calm down my  nervous system (IBS and anxiety) my plants and flowers helped me manage myself and emotions on some days. Mind you, I sometimes needed some digging help, but generally I could manage with potting mix, barrel-type planters and a range of colourful flowers in season.

These gave me joy as I tended them, photographed them and sometimes tried to capture their beauty by a sketch or a painting.

These colourful plants and flowers were a joy to tend, to water and to care for as they were almost all located on the back verandah and I could reach them easily. Over time, some would die back and others would take their place.

As I became more unwell into 2017 – before I knew I had cancer – being outside, in this garden was one place where I could:

  • meditate via my app then which was Headspace
  • take notice of the changing skies above
  • listen to the birdsong of the local native birds and those who are just nuisance value
  • water the flowers and clean up the frangipani debris
  • cut back the palms: they can be quite dangerous and these, according to those who know, should never have been planted. They were overwhelming in size but….the new owners (our landlords) did not give approval for culling…so we did it. And the local council took the big and fallen fronds away at green pick up times.

Next time, more about the ways in which being in a garden is good for my heart and soul!

Do you find zen in the garden?

Denyse.

Linking up with Min on Tuesdays for Zen Tips Tuesday here. 

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My Worst Purchase. 6/51. #LifeThisWeek. 14/2019.

My Worst Purchase. 6/51. #LifeThisWeek. 14/2019.

Like most humans who buy anything, there are regrets post-purchase. Sometimes the regrets can be turned into a good choice with the options of re-selling, returning it, gifting, or learning to LIKE it.

In this case of my worst purchase it was something that I could DO something about but it was to come at a BIG cost.

The back story.

After long and faithful service to me and my family – grandkids especially – over 7 years it was time to sell my much loved Blue Avensis (7 seats were awesome with grandkids) and upgrade to a new car.

There is more.

We had finally sold our house by early 2015 and once the mortgage was paid out, we both needed new and reliable vehicles for our next stage of life: retirement and around 2 hours drive from Sydney. We could pay cash for the new cars.

My husband’s choice turned out to be just about spot-on – a Nissan Pathfinder – although he now says he wishes he had not chosen to white one. His car for driving always needs to be big – he is tall- but comfortable enough for his many weary bones and more. It also can serve as a tradie’s vehicle for when he is doing some work at others’ houses.

The middle part of the story.

When we were selecting his car, I too had my attention drawn to a car I loved the look of and the options it had. It was a red Nissan X-Trail. But then, adding the costs together “I” decided that amount of money on 2 vehicles would detract from the savings goal toward a new house one day.

I then went on to the familiar Toyota dealer who had sold me my 3 previous cars, and asked for a trade-in on my Avensis on a Toyota Corolla. Red. Of course. But also much less changeover cost too. I arranged to pick it up at the end of January when I was back in Sydney for an appointment.

The new car.

I did the changeover on the Friday afternoon, went to pick my new glasses up and began the drive back up the M1 after battling Sydney’s traffic. I love(d) my former Corollas. They were ideal for my city-driving days. But after having a vehicle with a higher position for driving and great all-round vision like the Avensis, my decision was one I was already regretting.

The real test came for me on the M1. I drive safely but well and am not a fear-filled driver in these conditions at all but this new car of mine was slow to take up the hills, and had nothing like what I knew I needed for my regular driving on the M1.

Regret – big time.

It is an awful feeling to know you have made a mistake and even more when you know that it has cost a lot of money. Yet, over that weekend, my husband who is both caring and generous, decided that it was not “on” to keep this car if it was not going to work for me. I was grateful of course but also aware of how much this might cost us. And it did.

Trade-Ins and Devaluations.

The saying that once you drive the car out of the showroom is loses so many thousands of dollars is true.

We knew it would be a cost to us for the trade-in of a NEW since three days previous car to one I really wanted and would love driving.

So, we spent a morning with the local dealer on the Central Coast and eventually an agreement was made.

They took my red Corolla and swapped it for a red Nissan X-trail at no cost  for a difference that still makes my eyes water and heart sink…well not as much as it did. But still it was in the 10s of thousands. Yikes.

Regret becomes delight.

My new car was changed to my next new car and I have not stopped smiling nor talking or writing about how much this car of mine means to me. This car is often my only companion on my many trips to Sydney and I love all part of her performance.

Then I hurt my red car!

It made me sad recently when I had a ‘run-in’ with those yellow bollards at Westmead after ignoring the warning beeps. I was distracted after a long and stressful time with the prosthodontist and just wanted to get home . It was me at the end of a very long process of three months WAITING for my mouth to be teeth ready. I look at this photo and know how I was feeling. Bad about the car but oh so over it about the mouth reconstruction!

Anyway, we finally had her repaired last week and my 5 days in a rental white SUV  made me even more grateful when I got back into her on Friday and drove home.

Worst Purchase and Its Lesson.

I have learned that I cannot make a decision like a car (or a house in the future)  based only on common-sense and finance as there has to also be something of my heart and emotions for it to be fully something I can embrace.

What is your worst purchase?

Denyse.

 

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Joining Alicia here for Open Slather and Kell here for Mummy Mondays.

Inlinkz Link Party

Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 7/51. Self-Care: Share Your Story. #1. 18/2/19.

 

 

 

 

 

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