Wednesday 27th October 2021

Water. 41/51 #LifeThisWeek. 121/2021.

Water. 41/51 #LifeThisWeek. 121/2021.

I admit that water is my favourite drink and tends to be from a bottle. It is a small one that I can fit into my bag. I buy these bottles in bulk from the supermarket and then  re-fill for a time. With both of us ageing, and dry mouths from time to time, each of us needs a sip or two when we are out in the car or waiting…at the doctor’s for one. I also have to have water nearby to help any food that may not want to go down with ease. That is the legacy of the reconstruction of my mouth inside

This post however  moves away from the practical and necessary aspects of water to these images;

 

 

Papa aka Bernard caring for the pool water whilst grandkids LOVE the fun. 2014. We had pools in almost all of our backyards and this one was particularly loved by little ones as we had a ‘beach area’ where they could play and feel safe (under an adult’s eye) until ready to strike out into the deeper water.

Love this shot of Miss 4

 

We lived in north-western Sydney and there was a man-made lake nearby – Bella Vista and it was somewhere pleasant to walk around the board walk and look at the ducks – very overfed – and perhaps get a milkshake and donut afterwards. Back in 2014. Miss GD (who photographed our pre- Wedding Anniversary shots) with her lil sis who is now 9.

 

One granddaughter (#7 grandchild, #5 granddaughter) was being born….as this extremely wet day poured water everywhere…I was driving back home and would find out once I was there, she had been born back in 2013.

And some favourites from now and the past….

Then there was this:

A young grandson into the water at the beach. His grandfather was not far away. Soon after we had moved to the coast he had a special stay in January 2015.

Oh….and yesterday was  his 14th Birthday!!

 

Then there is this view…from inside the Sydney Opera House, of Sydney Harbour. A big favourite of mine and many in the water stakes. I was attending TedX 2015.

 

As a family we all enjoy being near or on the water. Not everyone likes the waves and current of the surf (and we oldies would say that now too) but as younger adults both B and I loved to surf. Both of us spent our formative years by the ocean.

 

And then there is this: my favourite place to visit: summer, winter and all the in-between times. The roaring winds, the gentle waves, the sand where I walk…and perhaps the water where I paddle all help to ground me and help me focus on “now”….this image of me, taken in June 2017 just after my cancer diagnosis and before any surgeries. I think I was pretty determined to come here to make more memories and to help me have those to view for what was ahead. It was a good plan.

But then: how wonderful, some 3 years later, to be taking an image of Avoca Beach at sunset before speaking at a head and neck cancer fundraiser ball….

 

I could find more images but suffice to say, I love being by the water. I am also respectful of water where levels may rise quickly in heavy rain. It’s a wonderful resource but being from nature we need to be careful of it too. I would never go into the sea here and it’s easy to see how powerful that surf is and how some rock fishing people can be swept off rocks…

I admit this is a bit of an emotional way to finish. My Dad, is well over 97, and has been in lockdown at Dee Why in his independent retirement unit for as long as we have. Hopefully I will be visiting him as this post goes live or in that week.

Dad (in this image, in blue shirt) walked at Manly, on the beach for years and years before Mum died in 2007 and then probably tended to walk along the paths to and from Fairy Bower. He loves this place.

He grew up in Wollongong near the water so it’s always been special for him. We have talked about where his ashes may go after his death…and this maybe where. Not that he is going anywhere soon.

I am a fan of water that is for sure.

And here is a special short video taken of the water about 20 minutes from home:

How about you?

Denyse.

Link Up #261.

Life This Week. Link Up #261.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, or multiple posts. Thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply. It’s a kind connection I value as a blogger! 

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials, sales and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive in nature.

Next week’s Optional Prompt: 42/51 Self Care Stories #6. 18 Oct. Link Up #262 

I will be doing a Part One of Two Tribute to the Women of Courage series. Part Two will be the following Monday.

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View. 39/51. #LifeThisWeek. 118/2021.

View. 39/51. #LifeThisWeek. 118/2021.

This post will take a look at ‘view’ the word about seeing and perhaps a ‘point of view’. Using images and words I found of interest in my archives.

And with an update from me at the very end…about Self Care.

 

 

Bernard looking at the view: for whales! None sighted.

 

Papa & 3 Grandkids viewing the water…and seeing ‘little fishies” 2015.

 

This view, of my talented granddaughter who enjoys photography, as she checks an image via the viewfinder. Sydney 2014.

 

The view of me…last one in any kind of education role. Viewed at a TeachMeet in 2015 at the High School I attended 1962-1967. I spoke about my life in education.

 

A not-unfamilar view to regular readers…this is Soldiers Beach in late 2015 with my visiting granddaughters in view.

 

Sunny view of yachts in the background with us having a morning out with a view to greater connection amidst lots of change in 2014.

 

Is it even a session with lego unless you make a tower? Papa pleasing these 2 back in 2016. Great view!

 

Cheers Miss 2. My view of her in 2012. Out for morning tea.

 

Look at that view, as grandson takes photo with my camera. What I view too is protective arm of Miss 5 around her younger sister. 2016.

 

My view then…2015, remembering my view of room on right near. My home room in high school 1962! I got the tour before I gave my presentation.

 

I didn’t notice this view till I was finding photos. When Ms 2 stayed with us, she put her sandals next to Papa’s. 2016.

 

The place we moved to had a great view over the water. The house was too uncomfortable and expensive for us in 2015 so we moved on.

 

Teacher & Grandma Me loved this view. Miss 15 months trying out pencils. Go Miss E!

 

So long ago we did this none of remember accurately but we think about 20 years ago. The view from Sydney Harbour Bridge as part of Bridge Climb was amazing.

 

I have viewed this scene over and over and in real life many times. Back to Manly in 2013 for an early morning walk around the area with an interstate visitor.

 

This view, of the now-demolished Entertainment Centre in 2014, is of my eldest granddaughter in her solo role as part of the School Spectacular.

 

The view of the Hollywood sign in January 2006…so far away! Such a different view to what we expect as tourists.

 

My current view…and views of my life as I face turning 72 in 2 months.

These four images, all with ‘me’ inside are part of the story of what I have been, done and needed to be ready for over the past four and a half years since my head and neck cancer diagnosis in May 2017. Blog updates are here.

These times gave me many chances to display courage, admit overwhelm, be able to keep going and…as I often said “do the hard things.”

My blog, and social media have helped me greatly over this time to distract me and to provide comfort as well as to connect.

Now, as I face a YEAR ahead with no check ups for cancer, no plans for any other health issues to need my attention other than the usual checks with G.P. and dentist, I am feeling an air of relief and release.

So, this is how I am going to make some changes. Remembering self care and adapting to managing my life as I age. 

 

  • From next week, I will be blogging ONCE a week. On Mondays for Life This Week. I have posts planned ahead and this is a good thing for planner me!

 

  • I have decided to discontinue further blogging challenges for this year, which means that I have stopped Sunday Stills as of this past week. I have loved being part of the Sunday Stills community and thought I would see the year through, but no, I am making the choice to stop now and have written to Terri at Second Wind Leisure about this and appreciate the friendliness of her community.

 

  • I will also no longer linking up with Natalie for Weekend Coffee share by the time of the final Woman of Courage story and wish her all the best. It’s been a great community to meet and I have connected with Natalie too about this decision. Thank you Natalie.

 

 

  • I am discontinuing one of my instagram accounts.

 

  • I have had quite a lot of trouble with instagram since the end of 2019 where “they” won’t let me post from my phone nor recognise the @denysewhelan account unless it’s via @denysewhelan_blogs so, with the end of #ShareSeptember I will be deleting this account. I may be able to transfer some images over but I am not that concerned about it.

 

  • To be honest, Instagram was a favourite of mine until Facebook took over. Now, I will continue to post on @denysewhelan_blogs and do ask for a follow there if you don’t already follow me. I keep my account private because I was hacked in 2017.

 

  • I will keep that account because it is linked (so far no issues) to my blog and to my Denyse Whelan Blogs Facebook page.

 

 

@DenyseWhelan will be deleted at the end of September 2021 on Instagram.

 

This is the new avatar with the ‘old’ one for @denysewhelan_blogs. Do ask for a follow! Thank you

 

Thank you for you support as I make these changes.

I cannot truthfully write about self care unless practising it so this is my story.

How do you practise self care as you move forward in life?

Denyse.

Link Up #259.

Life This Week. Link Up #259.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, or multiple posts. Thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply. It’s a kind connection I value as a blogger! 

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials, sales and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive in nature.

Next week’s optional prompt: 40/51 Share Your Snaps.

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Unusual*. Here’s Time Part 2* Instead. 38/51. #LifeThisWeek. 115/2021.

Unusual*. Here’s Time Part 2* Instead. 38/51. #LifeThisWeek. 115/2021.

Rather than go with the word ‘unusual’ for the optional prompt, it’s Part Two: Time…and this is a post from my husband Bernard who recently wrote ‘on prompt’ Time here. 

For those who may need a refresher about Bernard, his first post for the blog is found here. 

Thank you Bernard for offering more of your thoughts, experiences and wisdom.

Can you believe how much TIME had passed since we did this trip back to Tamworth? No, me neither. Enough chit-chat.

Bit early…Celebrating 50 years since we met: October 2020.

 

Part 2: The Time Is NOW

 Thanks for re-joining me in this moment of time.

Time has many metaphors. Lydia talked about the very interesting wheel of time. I like the metaphor that sees time as a never-ending and continual flow of water such as the surf. At any point, by dipping your hand in the water, you experience the drops of water at that time. Those drops represent the moments that you have available to you at that time; the only moments. You notice that they can be very difficult to hold onto and how quickly the water flows on never to be experienced again. They symbolise the ‘ah-hah’ moments in our lives.

 

This experience sets of a “ah-hah’ moment as you realise just how precious and limited your time is.

This really impresses you. It is a lightning strike moment. It is the NOW effect (Goldstein)!

 

Well-known holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Dr Victor Frankl  talked of the space that exists between stimulus and response.

In that space you have the power to choose your response. This enables our personal growth and freedom.

Elisha Goldstein, PhD., talks of this as our NOW time, sometimes described as ‘ah-hah’ moments that can change our lives.

For example, you may hear of a friend’s death.

At this time you are reminded of the love you feel for family.

Or hear that your part of the world is to be shut down because of nasty viral pandemic.

Whatever the stimulus, the NOW space turns our minds and hearts to what we really value in life.

There’s the argument that, in the fullness of time, we will come to realise how it has had the Now Effect of re-focussing us on what we really value.

 

So, what are the possible outcomes of this ‘ah-hah’ moment. Hopefully that:

 

  • You understand your life is a constant stream of stimuli and responses.
  • You realise that, by attending to the present you can take full advantage of the space to change what is not currently working for you in your life.
  • You understand that the significance of your life is not tied to the acquisition of material things and social status. That it is totally about the quality of the relationships you have with other human beings, especially those closest to you.
  • You realise that attending too much to past events is detracting from the present with the added deficit of possibly sending you down those old rabbit holes and causing distress.
  • You realise that, what is now history, is NOW, no longer within your control.
  • You are aware that worrying about what’s going to happen in the future sucks as you cannot control it either.
  • You understand the only moments you can control, albeit, with varying degrees of difficulty, are those that you are living in right NOW.

 

Views on time.

William Penn (founder of Pennsylvania) believed that “ time was what we most want and yet, use worst”.

While I tend to agree, I also believe that it doesn’t have to be that way.

In fact, it’s fair to say that there are many people who would feel a little offended by the statement.

People, such as those who have taken the conscious decision to organise their present moments with a view to living their lives most efficiently and effectively. In so doing, they maximise their feeling of contentment.

 

In all likelihood, these people will tick most of the following boxes:

 

  • They understand and welcome full ownership of their allocation of time.
  • They accept that those moments will contain ups and downs but are happy to take what’s on offer.
  • They also understand that that time is THEIRS to control as they see fit.
  • They look forward to the opportunity to spend more time in the NOW space.
  • When triggers occur they take advantage of that space to respond thoughtfully with generosity of spirit and kindness of heart, rather that react with negative emotion.
  • They understand that the pressure time can create is minimised commensurately by their level of efficiency in the use of their time.
  • They understand the need to take time away from their ‘doing selves’ to just ‘be’. After all, we are, first and foremost, human beings!
  • They understand that their quality of life is enhanced by paying attention to every moment with curiosity, openness and flexibility.
  • They understand that living mindfully in the present is key to enhancing quality of life.

These realisations – ‘ah-hah’ moments – emanate from being present and engaged. They come from seeing ‘doing’ and ‘being’ as mutually important in their lives. Living mindfully in the present is not difficult. However, like learning to play a musical instrument, it requires practice!  Try the exercises below. They just may help.

Being present and engaged exercise …

 

  1. Take thirty seconds to sit back, relax and simply notice all that you can hear. Firstly, focus on your own breathing and any of your movements. Then, expand your awareness to sounds around you appreciating them as a musician appreciates music noticing differences in volume, pitch, rhythms, harmonies, diminuendos and crescendos.

 

  1. Now, take thirty seconds to look around and notice five things that you can see. Notice each image’s shape, colour, texture, shading, shadows, reflections and highlights. Look at each with the curiosity of never having seen it before.

 

  1. Now, sit up straight and notice the position of your body. Push down firmly on the floor, straighten your spine and relax your shoulders. Take thirty seconds to scan your body from head to toe noticing the feeling in each part. Do this with curiosity of a radiologist looking at an x-ray.

 

  1. Finally, take another thirty seconds to flexibly focus your attention, moving from your body to what you can see and then to what you can hear.

 

 Reflect: What did you notice happen? Did you become more present; more aware of your body and surroundings?

 

Some Simple Ways to Be Present

Strategies to practise daily that centre you and connect you with the world around you; especially when you find yourself hooked by thoughts and feelings.

  1. Take Ten Breaths
  • Take ten slow, deep breaths. Focus on completely emptying your lungs as slowly as possible. The, allow them to refill by themselves.
  • Notice the emptying and refilling sensations of your lungs. Notice what happens with your rib cage and shoulders.
  • Try to allow any thoughts to float down the stream or come and go as passing cars.
  • Expand your awareness to simultaneously noticing your breathing and body movements. The, observe all that you can hear, see, smell, touch and feel.
  1. Dropping Anchor
  • Plant your feet into the floor.
  • Push them down noticing the feel of the supportive floor beneath you.
  • Notice the muscle tension in your legs as you push down.
  • Notice what is happening in your whole body.
  • Look around and take in what you can see, hear, where you are and what you’re doing.
  1. Notice Five Things
  • Pause for a moment
  • Look around and note five things you can see.
  • Listen carefully to hear five
  • Note five things that you can feel in contact with your body, e.g. watch against your wrist, trousers against your legs, air touching your face, back against the chair, feet on the floor, etc.
  • Now, do all the above simultaneously.

 

A final offering from one of the very wise Buddhas.

‘Do not dwell in the past, nor to dream of the future but, to concentrate the mind on the present moment’.

What better way to illustrate this than an image from Bernard’s daily practice of adding to a challenging jigsaw puzzle.

Thank you once again for a post which is of great interest to us all. I know I needed that refresher and I promise fewer questions and sharing from my social media while you are mindfully engaged in your jigsaw.

Denyse.

Link Up #258.

Life This Week. Link Up #258.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, or multiple posts. Thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply. It’s a kind connection I value as a blogger! 

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials, sales and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive in nature.

Next week’s optional prompt: View 39/51 

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35/51 #LifeThisWeek. Telling My Story. Ch. 26. Part 2/3. May-August 2021.106/2021.

Telling My Story. Chapter Twenty Six. 2021. Part 2/3. May – August.

The backstory first:

FOUR years ago now ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed.

Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at Chapter Twenty Six. Telling the story as 2021 progresses in three parts. Today is Part Two. May-August 2021.

So, in keeping with my ethical approach to all things, I am making the chapters about MY recollections to various changes in life for me, and us, and life as we knew it. I hope I can continue sharing the story without any intentionally negative or hurtful references to others who are in my life as friends and family members. All of the stories to date found here.

And with this chapter, a recent photo…taken overlooking the harbour at Dobroyd near where I grew up close to Manly N.S.W.

 

May 2021.

We had pretty good weather in May. We got outside even more. The covid ‘stuff’ had settled. However, we could never be quite sure of its whereabouts so we did “wearing a mask” when asked inside, and I know I was pretty casual about signing in using the State Government QR code. No-one was really practising social distancing but living on the coast, we did not have too many concerns.

We did not travel to Sydney for Mother’s Day this year even though I could have. It just wasn’t happening.

I got to celebrate my 4 years since my Head and Neck cancer diagnosis with a much anticipated visit to Sydney’s Lyric Theatre where I saw Hamilton.

Yes it was everything I had hoped and more. Wonderful.

That week I also came back to Westmead for a 6 month mouth check with my prosthodontist. All is well.

I stopped on my way home at a cafe in a nursery where I used to meet up with friends in Sydney days. It was lovely but it had changed as had I.

June. What happened?

We were continuing to be lulled into some kind of normality, living without too many restrictions and life was pretty good.

I visited my Dad to celebrate his 10 years living in his independent retirement Unit. He is going well.

I had my 6 months check with my regular dentist and he was very pleased with how well I care for my mouth and 8 teeth now! It’s always a treat going to him because we have such a history and he is a great cheerleader too.

I was delighted to recall that my head and neck cancer nurse, Cate, was a Woman of Courage on the blog too. But….the head and neck cancer group getting to Canberra was not able to happen because of Covid restrictions in Victoria and I took a reality check. The reality check for me was about how I would be able to eat when away from home over 3 nights and it was literally something I need to accept. A future post on eating and drinking challenges post head and neck cancer was planned.

But, we were going OK. In fact we had morning tea out twice using our government’s ‘dine in’ vouchers and I was excitedly planning the Soup for the Soul event with my friends from BluJ’s in Toukley.

 

And then late June 2021, just as the school holidays began, and we got excited about seeing our son and his family to celebrate our newly minted 8 year old’s birthday it was OFF. Back to Lockdown. Because of Covid 19 and ONE person’s infection from the newly seen and very nasty delta strain….it was not a good news day or week. So much changed in a very short time. STAY home. STAY safe. And as I write this ready for 30 August publication we are STILL in same lockdown. It’s actually become much more serious. More on that as I try to recall August! OK, we live on N.S.W. Central Coast, around 2 hours from centre of Sydney the capital of N.S.W. On 27 June 2021 we were declared to be part of Greater Sydney, along with Sydney and all its suburbs, Wollongong and Shellharbour to the south and the Blue Mountains to the west. NB: the Central Coast where we live was declared a regional area mid August.

The Hawkesbury River and Bridge. From the side where I took this photo it’s Central Coast.

July 2021.

July holds many memories for me since 2017. It marks the anniversary of my first head and neck cancer major surgery and reconstruction on 6 July (4 years this year) and 27.7 each year – since 2014, is World Head and Neck Cancer Day.

I met other people who were also head and neck cancer patients, carers and professionals in July 2018 at Central Coast Cancer Centre and in 2019 was part of the group called Central Coast Head and Neck Cancer Support who held a Soup for the Soul Event. And, each year the charity for whom I volunteer as an Ambassador, Head and Neck Cancer Australia, has awareness activities on line and encourages communities and individuals to host Soup for the Soul.

I was one who was going this with my friends at my local cafe but once lockdown came and they chose not to open as takeaway business was not a large amount of their trade, the event could not go ahead. So, I made it a virtual event and kind friends and professionals donated to a total of $305.

Some other memories and more from July 2021.

And August Arrived!

Of course we celebrated our daughter’s birthday. Post in detail here. We continued in lockdown which felt endless. I admit I did sometimes get very cranky on social media and then had to stop using it.

I tended then to spend more time outside, or doing something creative. I know preparing and sending off little packs of bookmarks was a positive experience.

Of course, Women of Courage continued on the blog but I was planning to bring it to a close soon. I stayed in contact on line with friends and family as much as practicable but also remembering people at work (even at home) are much busier than I am.

I had successful dental checks – of the regular kind. I am doing well after the surgeries I had in July and August 2021 and I am very grateful for that. I talk to Dad once a week. He is OK and finding the visitors restrictions within his unit complex quite frustrating. He is a sociable person. My brother and sister in law help him each week with shopping and some company. I haven’t been to see him since mid June because of “lockdown”.

I try to get out each day somewhere to notice nature – walking locally or driving somewhere near the water and that helps regulate my mood.

And to do this often:

 

What’s ahead and what other news is there?
No-one knows.

However, I know I am going well and have quite a few choices of art and creative ventures at home. B is making a new TV cabinet and has numerous small projects on the go. He is doing some on-line music lessons and I have similar ones for art. We would not be happy if the NBN stopped working!!

My dear husband has enjoyed writing his 3rd blog post, with another one to come. We are very well suited…different interests but shared common history, love of kids and education (not always the formal kind), and connecting with people. It’s the first time in our marriage of over 50 years that we have spent so much time together at home and for the most part…at least 99% …it’s going well.

Our next door neighbours have two little ones, one born just before Easter and when our family visits were curtailed and I had excess of mini cupcakes in the freezer, it’s been great to share (safely!) a couple of little boxes of treats. Their family cannot visit just as we cannot have ours come. Still, for the greater good.

We have made a promise, once new restrictions began for lockdown, to only go to two stand alone supermarkets, the doctors and chemist and (before they became more restricted in entry) Bunnings on occasions for B. On one day, only one of us goes out (for essential reasons) and we stick to that. I recently made a trip to the local Reject shop…the only place open in a large super centre to buy a stash of cards for upcoming birthdays and celebrations. I also got some fun items which have been sent to Sydney to two families for the school aged grandkids…a care package…costs more to post by express but I would rather they got them! Australia Post employees tell me they have never been busier.

Here’s  two days of contrast (weather and condition wise) at Soldiers Beach.

 

Mon 23.8.21. Warm weather

Great day but look at those clouds.

Windy & wet. Tues 24 August.

Same ‘area’ where person was snorkling on Monday!

 

 

UPDATE: In late August I heard very sad news. Two friends had both died of cancer. One of whom was a Woman of Courage. Her name is Tracey Fletcher King. Here is the link to her story:

The second person is Fergus McCulla, a young man I had the pleasure of meeting back in 2019 as he had questions to ask me about my surgeries for cancer in my mouth. Fergus’s cancer was a very nasty one, and despite “everything” he eventually left behind the pain and suffering, that as his Mum said, he never spoke about. On Tuesday, I will attend his funeral service which will be streamed on-line.

 

Sending my love to the  families and friends of both of these special people. Vale Tracey and Vale Fergus. I am honoured that our paths crossed.

 

 

 

 

And so the second of three parts of 2021 is done. I will of course, be finishing this year’s story. However, I am no longer going to update here as I have found it hard(er) than I imagined in the midst of other life stuff…meaning, I am reducing some of my ‘have to’s in 2022 and keeping Telling My Story going won’t be a blog post. I might do a summary one time, but the recall and record keeping is less appealing than when I committed to starting!

 

Thanks for reading. And maybe just skimming but looking at the pictures. That is cool too. I am grateful I have used this blog to make me accountable.

Last one will be published as the last blog post (and Link Up) for 2021. 51/51….but we have a few weeks to go to that, and I am not wishing the year away!

Denyse.

Link Up #255

Life This Week. Link Up #255

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply. It’s a kind connection I value as a blogger! 

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials, sales and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive in nature.

Next week’s optional prompt: 36/51 Self Care Stories #5. 6 Sept. Link Up #256

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Click here to enter


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Time. 34/51 #LifeThisWeek. 103/2021.

Time. 34/51 #LifeThisWeek. 103/2021.

Bernard’s 70th Birthday Gift.

By popular demand, today I welcome back my husband Bernard to share his thoughts with us on TIME. Before getting to his words, I want to say this:

  • he is wise
  • he married me (ok, that was mutually wise)
  • he wrote this and I…..
  • did not really understand it
  • he said ….you will need to read to the end to find out.

Thank you Bernard.

This image taken by me, as an example of time. Others’ feet who had gone before me. Little and Big. Last week.

 

Tempus Fugit – Or Does It?

Poor old Father Time … He and we have been butting heads since the moment he was conceived.

From that moment He has copped so much abuse and, yet unaffected, marches inexorably

 

  • I would have finished if only I’d had enough time!!!’

HSC student who has assigned more time to just hanging out when he ought to have been studying.

 

  • ‘Yer never gave me enough time. How’s a bloke supposed to do a thirty minute job in fifteen minutes?’

Angry mature apprentice  reacting to an incompetent boss.

 

  • ‘Every day’s delay costs me money. I need to buy some more time!’

Worried builder under pressure to meet an unrealistic deadline.

 

  • ‘Bein’ in the clink feels like time has gorn to sleep or it’s jus’ standin’ still!’

Woman incarcerated for life for the slaughter of her cheating husband.

 

  • ‘The faster I work the slower my progress seems. It’s driving me cray-cray!’

Anxious dressmaker working on a wedding gown for a precious princess

 

This old guy has not a nasty bone in his poor body.

Since he began interacting with humans, he has been the object of relentless criticism and abuse having been laughed at, jeered at and generally flung dung at for just doing his job.

How would you feel being accused of a robbery that you didn’t commit? Plenty distressed I should venture to say!

However, he is not so pure and innocent as to not seek and gain revenge. Just look above to see examples. Who among us can say that they have not felt ‘time is standing still’ when we can’t wait to see what Santa has bought us? Or, that ‘time flies (tempus fugit)’ when we’re having fun. And, the more fun you have the faster it goes. Correct?

 

We encounter challenges with TIME for we are fallible folk.

We allow our decisions and actions to define whether IT is our enemy or ally.

Whatever the case, we seek to take control of our time as a means of living our own lives and getting the most out of them. Can’t blame us for that!

However, if we are honest – or a member of the Anti-Vaccination Klan – we would admit that attempting to control what is essentially uncontrollable is a fruitless pursuit that can only result in frustration and heartache!

 

As I see it, the problem is a universal one among our varied and extremely complex humankind.

Nobody really understands him –  that includes your author, even after many, many long years of being closely restrained and guided by him! I now know how a dog on a leash feels! He’s way ahead of us.

 

  • He is enigmatic (Batman wouldn’t stand a chance against him)!

 

  • The scientific community would say he’s a fourth dimension.

 

  • We think we see, hear, touch the old guy passing on by and yet, if we had the grave misfortune to have no functioning senses, we would still have a mental experience of IT through our changing thought patterns. Bit spooky that! Perhaps our brains possess a special faculty for processing time.

 

  • Can any of us really declare any greater understanding than he is a measurable perception. That’s why we mere mortals need to personify him.

 

  • It seems this ever-present phenomenon comes in two quite separate perceptions. There is the objective perception, Persona one,  that removes the gender from him and presents as a clinical measurement, informed through clocks, calendars, etc.

 

  • Persona two is our subjective perception that emanates from our need as humans to connect and form a relationship with him. As is our wont, we just have to give time personality, don’t we?

 

  • And, of course, when the world was a place when only the male of the species had the authority and importance (albeit, self-) to make such monumental decisions, he was assigned the male gender. This is a bit like trying to understand the concept of God. She’s always been referred to as masculine. But now we know differently – don’t we girls!

 

So, it seems to me that, in order to change and enhance our relationship with the old bugger, we need to accept that understanding him is a bit out of our reach and probably unnecessary.

I mean, how do we experience something that is odourless, tasteless, invisible, soundless and without substance? You can’t sniff it, lick it, eyeball it, hear it or feel it. That really makes understanding him very challenging.

 

What we can say is that time:

  • stands, beacon-like, as the only perception we cannot perceive through any of our five senses. Yet, our ‘experience’ of time suggests it has an overwhelmingly, controlling presence in and of our miserable lives.

That’s just great, Bernard! Thanks for telling us in a roundabout way that which we already know!

 

The author on left with 2 of 10 male siblings.

The author, 4th from left, back with 11 of 12 siblings.

 

Sorry … Okay, so rather than expending a great deal of precious energy trying to understand something we so obviously can’t, let’s just agree that we experience time through that miraculous organ called the brain.

The brain enables our awareness of time through its relationship with more tangible objects that can be more easily perceived and understood, like the sun! Life in this magical universe is based on relationships.

So, we can get a better appreciation of time by thinking about him in relation to more tangible things. My wife, Denyse, helps me grasp the concept of time better. She, like Time, waits for no-one.

 

A favourite photo of 2 grandkids: siblings.

 

They “tried” to re-create this some years later!

 

And, that’s about as deep as we need to go in this Part One of a two-part post. Seeking to further unravel what it is and how it works is not as valuable as seeking to understand how IT influences our lives and how we can return the favour in order to make our lives keep in time with Time.

 

We look forward to that, Bernard as I noted in the introduction,  …..you said you are none the wiser either about time.

Do leave a comment or even a question for Bernard. He is writing Part Two for the blog in a few weeks.

My image to close: more from the sands of time…  the beach.

Thanks for sharing your words, Bernard.

Denyse.

 

Link Up #254

Life This Week. Link Up #254

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply. It’s a kind connection I value as a blogger! 

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials, sales and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive in nature.

Next week’s optional prompt: 35/51 Share Your Snaps #7. 30 Aug. Link Up #255. 

I will be posting Telling My Story May-August 2021…which is mostly via photos too.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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Cancer: Patients, Family & Carers.#ShareYourSnaps #6. 30/51 #LifeThisWeek. 91/2021.

Cancer: Patients, Family & Carers.#ShareYourSnaps #6. 30/51 #LifeThisWeek. 91/2021.

Cancer does not have a timeline.

It can just appear.

Often times there is NO reason nor cause.

Many who have been diagnosed with a cancer with known risk factors but none apply to them, will be puzzled.

I am one of those but I have also learned to let go…because as my wise husband says “in the overall scheme of things, does that matter or help?”.

This month, on the blog I am focussing on cancer: head and neck cancer, because it is the one I know best.

I WAS excited to announce a community-held event as a fund raiser for Soup For The Soul at my local cafe but, nothing can happen so, I changed to a VIRTUAL Soup For The Soul Fundraiser and this is my POST where there is a LINK directly for donations. Thank you in advance! 

It also is the month when World Head and Neck Cancer Day is held: 27 July.

This year, because of Covid Restrictions a lot of what we took for granted in getting our messages out there to the community have changed. But my blog is still here.

Sadly not much is happening fact to face right now, and I post this image when we were very hopeful we would be able to take the head and neck cancer message to Canberra. But again, that has been postponed.

This Sharing of My Snaps is About a Number of Subjects.

See below for blog disclaimer. 

Cancer Help.

There is, in Australia, a Government website here . 

Of particular interest to me is to find and share more of the cancer I have. Try it if you need to find out more.

https://www.canceraustralia.gov.au/affected-cancer/cancer-types/head-neck-cancer/what-head-and-neck-cancer

Head and neck cancer occurs when abnormal cells in the head or neck grow in an uncontrolled way. These cancers usually begin in the squamous cells that line the inside of the mouth, nose and throat.

Head and neck cancer is 1 of the 10 most common cancers in both men and women in Australia. I have heard it is rare. However now I realise it is not well-known at all. Perhaps my descriptor needs to change.

What are head and neck cancers?

Head and neck cancers occur inside the sinuses, nose, mouth and salivary glands down through the throat. Although these cancers are different, they are treated similarly, so are considered as a group.

It is estimated that there will be 4414 cases of head and neck cancers diagnosed in Australia in 2021. These figures include cancers of the tongue, gum, mouth, salivary glands, tonsils, pharynx, nasal cavity and larynx, but not cancers of the lip.

The five year survival rate is approximately 64.7%.

source: https://www.cancer.org.au/cancer-information/types-of-cancer/head-and-neck-cancers

 

Cancer Council has sites throughout Australia too.  Ours in New South Wales is found here. I have booklets from my local Cancer Council shop at Erina Fair to help me and anyone else with a cancer. These books are free and I highly recommend them.

There is the second volume of which is a series of stories co-ordinated by The Swallows on Facebook : found here.

The Swallows: Booklet

Other information about head and neck cancer found here too:

Julie McCrossin AM, Australian Ambassador for Head and Neck Cancer Australia has copies. Tell me in the comments if you would like one.

Beyond Five. 2018. Now HANCA. Julie McCrossin AM holding a radiation mask. Nadia Rosin CEO & Me.

Marty Doyle, fellow Head and Neck Cancer Australia Ambassador, also wrote this book about his experience with head and neck cancer. He is going well some 17 years post his diagnosis.

I also bought a compilation of cancer stories directly from the author as I wanted to read more stories of others’ going well post-cancer. And I include some other books which have helped me.

Now…some more information can be found here at Head and Neck Cancer Australia (formerly Beyond Five) where I am an Ambassador.

I have taken part in a video series on nutrition, shared my head and neck cancer story on this site, and that of Chris O’Brien Lifehouse where I had my surgeries.

For more information about the special aspects of treatment for those with any cancer, go here to Chris O’Brien Lifehouse. This is in Sydney and is a private hospital specialising in comprehensive cancer care. That is, all under one roof as was the vision of the late Professor Chris O’Brien AO. His daughter, Juliette O’Brien was a recent Woman of Courage. 

And now to this information and more from me, about cancer progress and living with the results of head and neck cancer. My posts are here. 

 

The book I am reviewing. Written by a Psychologist from Chris O’Brien Lifehouse.

Review is coming soon.

This story: The Big Hug Box.

I have written about my connections with Lisa Greissl who founded the Big Hug Box in 2018. She too, was a patient at Chris O’Brien Lifehouse and in recovery wanted to do something to both help cancer research (hers was a very rare cancer) and to give back something to those who saved her life. She knew, in recovery, a BIG hug was always appreciated but not everyone can give or get one in person as they recover from or go through cancer. Find the Big Hug Box here.

Lisa’s idea has moved forward and there is much happening locally in the Newcastle region of N.S.W. Companies raise funds to share Random Hugs of Kindness boxes to Cancer Centres in some states and cities. The latest news is found here. I got to know Lisa personally when I offered to make bookmarks for inclusion in the early versions of The Big Hug Box. I must have donated over 400. I also saw someone I know who received a Big Hug Box and she saw that she knew who made the bookmarks! Lisa has also shared her story as a Woman of Courage.

Whilst this is a much more wordy post for a Share Your Snaps, I wanted to give the space to what has helped me in terms of cancer so that readers and bloggers here may have better ideas and reference points.

This is an Australian based blog and all of my links are to places within Australia, other than The Swallows in the United Kingdom.

There are many places and site for help in the U.S.A. where Oral Cancer is often mentioned separately to head and neck cancer. World wide, the associations and professional bodies relating to all cancers do all they can to improve outcomes for patients.

And, I share my story learning to eat again here: from Head & Neck Cancer Australia. Made February 2020 just before Covid shut things down.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Denyse.

Blog Disclaimer:

My stories and photos along with suggested links and websites must not be seen as medical advice.

I write this blog from my experience as a head and neck cancer patient.  Denyse Whelan. 2021.

Link Up #250

Life This Week. Link Up #250

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply. It’s a kind connection I value as a blogger! 

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials, sales and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 31/51 Question.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Two-In-One. #TreeSquare #SundayStills. Evergreen. 87/2021.

Two-In-One. #TreeSquare #SundayStills. Evergreen. 87/2021.

Re-visiting my first school. Lots of evergreen in trees in the playground. Me, not so much!

Since knowing that trees were to be the focus for BeckyB’s Squares in July AND that they would be featured on Sunday Stills too, I have been extra vigilant in my tree observations and my photo taking. To be honest, I am always finding something to photograph outside but with a theme like trees…I was IN!

Terri here has now  moved into her new abode and I will share this post soon as ‘my’ Sunday becomes Monday here. Terri is in the northern hemisphere. I do enjoy sharing and am happy to wait till Monday.

Being Square is Fun!

Join in this lovely challenge and post a photographic square daily for one month every quarter. The theme changes every quarter and is announced on this blog a few weeks, occasionally days, in advance of the challenge month. The challenge months are January, April, July and October.

Here’s all you need to know: Thanks so much to Becky.

Create your square post, and include a pingback to one of my daily square posts (not this page or the home page as otherwise I don’t know about your ping!). You can also add the link to your post in the comments on any of my square posts

  1. Include the theme’s tag (sometimes this may be the only way I can find you too); the theme for July 2021 is Treeswhich makes the tag #TreeSquare

 

My Squares in Evergreen…from Trees in Nature. Each has a small description of place underneath.

Many trees like this on the lake and coastal areas where we live.

 

Another evergreen pine-type tree right on the lake!

 

An Australian native evergreen. The banksia tree. Coastal loving tree.

 

This is evergreen alright and perhaps more of a large shrub but it is saving the beach from erosion.

 

This evergreen is a gum tree and its angle is somewhat precarious.

 

Evergreen National Park on Sydney’s Northern Beaches. I grew up very close to here.

 

And this is the suburb where I grew up. Balgowlah Heights NSW. The pink arrow points to our former home. Lots of evergreen everywhere, including the colour Dad chose for the roof end.

 

This is what is left of the evergreen Dad & Mum had in their garden. House completely unrecognisable. Interestingly owners used same green for front door. Great place for us all: kids, grandkids and great grandkids 1959-2011.

 

Missenden Road Camperdown. Evergreen trees form canopy. My walk along here is to the Hospital for my check ups (still having them) and surgeries in 2017-18.

And my collage for #TreeSquare on Instagram:

I hope you have plenty of evergreen and trees around your area. They are such givers of life, literally!

Denyse.

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What’s Under The Trees? #SundayStills #TreeSquare. 84/2021.

What’s Under The Trees? #SundayStills #TreeSquare. 84/2021.

Since knowing that trees were to be the focus for BeckyB’s Squares in July AND that they would be featured on Sunday Stills too, I have been extra vigilant in my tree observations and my photo taking. To be honest, I am always finding something to photograph outside but with a theme like trees…I was IN!

Under these trees on the M1 near our house – we were on our way to Sydney here – is the Wyong River.

 

Terri here has now  moved into her new abode and I will share this post soon as ‘my’ Sunday becomes Monday here. Terri is in the northern hemisphere. I do enjoy sharing and am happy to wait till Monday.

Being Square is Fun!

Join in this lovely challenge and post a photographic square daily for one month every quarter. The theme changes every quarter and is announced on this blog a few weeks, occasionally days, in advance of the challenge month. The challenge months are January, April, July and October.

Here’s all you need to know: Thanks so much to Becky.

Create your square post, and include a pingback to one of my daily square posts (not this page or the home page as otherwise I don’t know about your ping!). You can also add the link to your post in the comments on any of my square posts

  1. Include the theme’s tag (sometimes this may be the only way I can find you too); the theme for July 2021 is Treeswhich makes the tag #TreeSquare

Here’s my “what’s under the trees….and “WHO” as well.

Some photos are a trip down memory lane, starting with this. The ones with green frames will form my #TreeSquare contribution as collages.

 

January 2006, I am under a Palm Tree at North Shore Oahu. Hawaii.

 

What was left under the Christmas tree at our son’s house!

 

Under these gum trees, we shared games, stories and more with our students at Weilmoringle P.S. in 1976-1977.

 

Under these trees is a playground of the school where I was principal 1999-2003.

 

Under these trees is the way to the old Wyong P.S.

I admit, I have a lot of photos where trees help tell the stories. More to come.

 

Under the canopy of Autumn trees in Telegraph Rd Pymble 2019.

And now these:

Under these trees is the sign to the property east of Narrabri NSW which was our first home in 1971.

 

And to say, thanks to the trees for being the best subjects ever….

 

From sunrise you protect us…

 

To  sunset you protect us.

That’s my story on trees. And for Becky’s Squares:

I hope you enjoyed this Australian-based post about trees, with one from the U.S.of A, thank you Hawaii!

Denyse.

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