Wednesday 23rd June 2021

Share Your Snaps #5. 25/51. #LifeThisWeek. 76/2021.

Share Your Snaps #5. 25/51. #LifeThisWeek. 76/2021.

Every 5th Week on Mondays

  • I love to take photos.
  • I love finding things I like to capture in the moment.
  • I certainly enjoy taking photos to share stories.

And for me, I love making memories.

Then it was a treat for me to use some dollars and buy some decent photo collage apps.

There are so many, and rather than recommend any, I tend to use any from the App Store as my main source of photography these days is the IPhone 11 ProMax. I also tried out ones as unpaid (read ads, and not all options unlocked)

I have a ‘big’ camera, Canon 600D with which I learned a great deal from an 8 week evening college in-person class back in the days living in Sydney. We did a night shoot at a local shopping centre too. When I felt a needed a refresher, Amie, the teacher met me at a local scenic spot and helped me remember some of the lessons and settings. I have used that camera to great advantage, with extra lens I bought too including a macro one I love…sadly though…

….this latest phone of mine is proving so good for more of what I want to do now, that I take advantage of its settings and in editing, some of the options, and cropping is a given more many, and then I make a

C

O

L

L

A

G

E

or three!

colour,

shapes,

symmetry,

design,

art,

repetition

and then undoing old patterns of how things must/should look are all on my list as I compiled these.

Some you may have already seen if you follow me on Instagram. I have two (locked for privacy) accounts:

@denysewhelan   @denysewhelan_blogs  (ask for follow!)

This one has repeats in rows of small, colours and shapes.

 

Celebrations in one collage for our Golden Wedding Anniversary.

Then there are these:

Where I reviewed my life…before cancer…

From my walk around The Terrigal Boardwalk

 

 

How about you?

Do you like taking photos?

What do you use to share your images?

And yes I may have used one or two of these in posts already.

Denyse.

Link Up #245

Life This Week. Link Up #245

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply. It’s a kind connection I value as a blogger! 

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials, sales and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 26/51 Optimism. Mr W is back with this one! 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Women Of Courage Series. #57 Marsha Ingrao. 68/2021.

Women Of Courage Series. #57 Marsha Ingrao. 68/2021.

Two years ago….around this time of year, I tentatively courageously launched Women of Courage series on my blog and here was what I said then:

I got this idea from attending the Newcastle Writers Festival in April 2019 and hearing the wonderful Jane Caro speak about her book Accidental Feminists. IF you ever get a chance to listen to or read Jane’s works they are very good.

What I considered after that day and in the days to come is how we women have a tendency to underplay our achievements and whatever else we are doing in our lives. I know this is changing.

This third series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here will continue to be published each Thursday.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda

In the world of blogging we can ‘meet’ people virtually and make a pretty instant connection. I found this to be the case in early 2021 when Marsha Ingrao who is 69 began hosting Sunday Stills while another blogging friend from the US was moving into her new home. From my on-line emails and messages with Marsha as I learned more about her and her life, I had hoped she would agree to share her story as a Woman of Courage. And I was delighted with here response of “yes, I will”. Welcome Marsha and thank you for sharing your story

 

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

  • I had a birth defect – bilateral cleft lip, which is still fairly rare. From birth I had several surgeries including spending my first month in the hospital. This did not require any courage on my part. But it did change me.

 

  • When I was 15 and my brother was 13, we moved with Mom from Indiana to Oregon where we didn’t know anyone. Mom didn’t have a job. I was a junior in high school, and my brother was in 7th grade. My brother and I made the choice of where to go rather than to stay behind with our father or grandparents. It was the best decision of our lives.

 

  • My first husband had major health problems. He and his sister both had rare and genetic disease. Less than six months into our marriage, he broke his hip which deteriorated until he could not sit, stand or walk without extreme pain. We had no insurance. I was petrified, but his aunt found us a surgeon. At age 27 he had his first hip replacement, and the second one at age 29. His only sister died at age 35. I was 25 at the time, married for two years and lived with the fear that my husband would probably live maybe five more years. He lived eighteen more years and passed away at age 47 with heart, kidney, liver, and lung disease caused from the same missing enzymes that caused his joints to deteriorate.

 

  • Before Mark’s second hip surgery, we had no money coming in for a while. He couldn’t work and he did not want to have surgery again. Our pastor advised that I should quit working at my less than minimum wage job and let God provide through Mark. My husband was furious about this idea, but I wasn’t making enough to make ends meet anyway and I felt a sense of relief. I quit selling magazines door to door, and God supplied us with inheritance money and back disability checks enough to keep us going for over a year.

 

  • Finishing school. Neither of us had finished our four year degree when we married. I had started right out of high school, but quit when my scholarship ran out. I finished my associates degree after we were married, and was offered another scholarship and a position at Oregon State so that I could also earn my master’s degree in Early Childhood Education and Administration. Mark also wanted to go to school and get his degree in Ministerial Studies from a college in Colorado Springs.

 

  • We sold everything and moved to Colorado and I waited until we moved to California and established residency there before I was able to pick up my education again. Eventually we both achieved our goals. He became a pastor and I earned my Master’s Degree and Administrative Credential and taught school, then moved into administration.

 

  • Having breast cancer. Actually I think I sailed through that recent obstacle, so far. The three surgeries were fairly easy, medication was not even though I did not have to go through chemo and radiation. I still have at least four to six more years of medicine, but I think it’s finally manageable.

 

How did these change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

  • My name, Marsha, comes from the name Mars, the Roman god of war and courage. I expect to and usually do overcome obstacles and win my wars.

 

  • I had to develop a positive attitude from the time I was a child to overcome shyness and make friends. I am sensitive, so I have to be careful not to take myself too seriously and get over myself when my feelings get hurt.

 

  • As a result, before I retired, it was sometimes hard to get others to take me seriously.

 

  • I am friendly. Without our many friends and family, Mark and I would not have survived.

 

  • I learned to work hard and both my husband and I achieved all our career goals and were married for 20 years before he passed. My second husband is also a hard worker, and I’ve learned a lot from him about precision and pushing beyond my best efforts. We have been married for 25 years.

 

  • I have a hard time quitting – even when I should. I hang on way too long because I see quitting as losing instead of being sensible and recognizing that I could be using my time and talents in other ways.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

  • I wish that you didn’t need courage. But we all do. I rely on God, my friends and family and their prayers. People have always been kind and supportive of me.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

I don’t know.

  • It’s hard to believe I have lived through the difficult times that I have. I think in a way you compartmentalize your problems and live outside and above your difficulties. I don’t know many people who throw themselves into dangerous situations just to be brave.

 

  • Trials happen to us and we deal with them as they come. I thank God for the times I don’t have to be brave.

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

-Don’t try to do everything by yourself. Get help!

-Pray

-Give to others. This might be a kind word, a meal, a smile, a prayer, or a million dollars. Give what you have.

-Love and appreciate everyone, especially those who help you.

-Be positive but not phony, find someone to whom you can vent when you get hit with too much reality.

-Exercise as much as you can.

-Eat healthy food

-Don’t feel guilty about what you can’t do.

-Blog – tell your story, get involved in the stories of others.

Do add anything else that you think would help others who read your post. For example a website or help line.

  • For breast cancer I recommend my friend Abigail Johnston’s website. No Half Measures.
  • For difficulties in marriage I recommend finding a good counselor. I’ve had two secular counselors (not pastors) that helped me deal with difficult situations. I would ask friends rather than use the web.
  • Get involved with a local church. We used the internet when we moved here because we didn’t know anyone.
  • Get a doctor who cares about you. Again, word of mouth is better than a website, but I used both when we moved.

 

Marsha put in some kind words at the end of her story and I believe that they are worth sharing. I am very proud to have been able to share these stories, so generously given to me here on the blog.

Thank you so much for this honor to be called a woman of courage. What a wonderful thing you are doing by honoring women. Thank you for all you do for our Blogging community, Denyse. You are a blessing and an inspiration.

Thank you, we are all connected, and I am glad for that.

Denyse.

 

 

Social Media: for Marsha

Blog/Website:  https://www.tchistorygal.net

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarshaIngrao

 

Facebook Page : https://www.facebook.com/TCHistoryGal/

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marsha_ingrao/

This series continues over the next months.

If you have  story to share, please leave me a message in the comments.

Joining with Natalie here for Weekend Coffee Share.

Copyright © 2021 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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Share Your Snaps #4. 20/51 #LifeThisWeek. 61/2021.

Share Your Snaps #4. 20/51 #LifeThisWeek. 61/2021.

Every 5th Week on Mondays

Yesterday I saw the musical Hamilton. In preparing this post, a week or so ahead, I thought I would use images that are not related to Hamilton until I have seen it, decided if I loved it and wanted to share more.

So, in this Share Your Snaps edition I am sharing my great fun using photo apps which help me make interesting and different collages. I have paid small amounts for some. Can’t remember which ones but loving the variety I am getting. I still use an old favourite called a Beautiful Mess. Purchased years ago and no longer supported by still does what I need it to do. I used it to make the photo for share your snaps.

But first..today is the 4th anniversary of finding out I had squamous cell carcinoma in my gums….and yes, that was a pretty memorable day but even more so was meeting (for the very first time!) on 18th May 2017, the man who would give me the best chances of having no more cancer and a pretty useful mouth along with the best smile*(see end of post) ..so “My” Prof Jonathan Clark AM, is starring with me here today:

Professor Jonathan Clark AM

Director of Head and Neck Research
Lang Walker Family Foundation Chair in Head and Neck Cancer Reconstructive Surgery

Prof Jonathan Clark AM

 

With Jonathan last Sept, inserts: Me post surgery July 2017, Info re mouth cavity and head & neck cancer.

It took 4 surgeries and a LOT of time & patience for this head and neck cancer patient to get her smile. These images are all from Chris O’Brien Lifehouse records of my progress 2017-2018

Onto the showing of my photos via the apps.

I wondered about how to get more photos into my collection as I love their colours, shapes and sizes…and that was when I had my ah-ha moment. Visit local nurseries and take pics! Occasionally look like I am buying a few flowering plants too. I have done that!  And I went back in time for some family and other shots to play with.

Background: Nursery and my plants individually

 

Two areas inland from where we live are doing Autumn beautifully.

 

Six years ago: H&R at Lakes Beach having a holiday with us.

 

I will never delete these photos! My old home town of Manly N.S.W. in Winter 2014 when I drove from home to get the sunrise. So worth it. My shadow on the beach.

 

Autumnal Display. I am a pattern-lover so these apps are perfect.

 

Daily Calm quote, with my art…on a background of my washi tape collection.

 

Cannot resist these amazing colours in the flowers. Some from home, others at the nursery.

 

Pattern Play using flowers and colours in this app

 

Pretty in Pink…bright pink and using repeat photos for patterns.

 

This app…I loved it but I had it on trial. May end up signing up. It did a cut-out scrapbook affect. I got to move the photos around. Fun.

 

The same photo in different collage sections. Interesting.

 

All about purple and sizes.

 

Gentle pinks and bright pinks using an app and its photo in middle. Repeat patterns. Very pleasing to my eye.

I love colours.

I love nature.

I love getting outside to take photos.

This is a great way to do self-care for me….

I also love constructing the photos into patterns via the apps because…

I love patterns!

And all of this reminds me of my Word Of The Year: S M I L E*

How about you?

Denyse.

Link Up #240

Life This Week. Link Up #240

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials, sales and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 21/51 Self Care Stories  #3. 24 May.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Floral. 11/51. #LifeThisWeek. 33/2021.

Floral. 11/51. #LifeThisWeek. 33/2021.

So, dear readers and bloggers, have you realised yet that these optional prompts are in

A

L

P

H

A

B

E

T

I

C

A

L

order?

  • I like lists.
  • I like order.
  • So, in choosing the optional prompts that were not covered by Share Your Snaps, Self Care Stories, Taking Stock, I did the list and selected just ONE word and made the list alphabetical.
  • Teacher me likes this.

FLORAL.

Until I considered how to use this prompt it took me a while to realise I enjoy floral patterns, in the garden, in designs I make and in clothes I wear. I enjoy colour, mixed together in harmony, and even those in contrast. So, in photographic evidence here are some photos!

Nature:

 

Creative Art:

 

And in clothing:

Late 2017 into 2018 I did “outfit of the day’ posts to boost morale as I recovered from surgeries. Here I was after a 3rd reconstruction inside my mouth (early Feb 2018) and a week of pics. Smile was still a long way off….not for another 6+ months but I did not know that then.

2020 and a smile in my floral top!

 

And some floral joy I made: 

I hope you are enjoying the optional prompts if you use them.

Thanks for joining in.

Denyse.

Link Up #231

 

Life This Week. Link Up #231

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next Week’s Optional Prompt: Good. 12/31 22 March 2021.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Scenes From Nighttime. #SundayStills. #2. 6/2021.

Scenes From Nighttime. #SundayStills. #2. 6/2021.

After the warm welcome I received to the #sundaystills blogging community I am back! Last week I posted here.

Every 5 weeks on my blog, I offer the optional prompt to #shareyoursnaps for the Monday link up called #LifeThisWeek and that is why I have also included my image from there.

When I saw this prompt for week commencing 10 January 2021 from here: 

These are remaining prompts for January.

NB: these are from the Northern Hemisphere, I will need to be imaginative here in the Southern Hemisphere in Summer.

And yes, I changed the spelling in two words. My computer told me to!

Jan 17 Colour Challenge: Glacier Blue
Jan 24 Fog and Clouds
Jan 31 Your Favourite Landscape

I was not sure I had any photos to fit as I do not typically take photos at night nor at night time…but then I remembered these!

In early March 2020 before COVID restrictions began, I was the guest speaker at an evening function at Avoca N.S.W. Australia to help raise funds for a head and neck cancer charity where I am a volunteer Ambassador. I shared some of my story with the audience. It was just on dusk in daylight saving time and the beach looked so tranquil as did the view. I remember stopping on my way up the stairs to take this photo.

And here’s what I did and the audience reaction to my story, along with the host (in white) a young doctor and a member of the board, a radiation specialist.

The very next week saw me, at night, out on a balcony of an apartment we stayed in post-cataract surgery, taking photos of evening-time arriving in Parramatta!

So good seeing familiar places from when we used to live in Sydney from a different perspective.

Looking west, across Parramatta Park, the western suburbs to the Blue Mountains.

 

Urban Parramatta at night. Old hospital to the right, and police precinct in the middle.

In 2020 I sure did get some time in medical and surgical facilities….Gosford Private Hospital twice! This is from the first stint. Four night stay. Night time really is the ‘worst’ time in hospital.

Not in chronological order but in May, it was the COVID night time 21st Birthday of our second granddaughter. Only her nearest & dearest allowed at her home. Still have restrictions now unfortunately.

Birthday girl is 3rd from left. A Butterfly balloon seen here is because she has always been known as “our beautiful butterfly” from birth!

So I found images and used my imagination too.
Great combination for a blogger I reckon.

Please follow this blog via Bloglovin  see my home page for link in which to add your email address.

You may prefer to follow the updates from here on my Facebook page for the blog.

I am on twitter as @denysewhelan1

My instagram account is private: ask for follow @denysewhelan_blogs

Each Monday I hosted a link up called Life This Week. There are optional prompts. They can be found on the home page too.

Have a great weekend and week ahead everyone,
Denyse.

Linking up here for Natalie’s Weekend Coffee Catch Up this week.

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Retrospective In Photos: Our Life in 2020. #SundayStills. #1. 3/2021.

Retrospective In Photos: Our Life In  2020. #SundayStills. #1. 3/2021.

Nothing like a new year to try new ideas.

Deb from Deb’s World here, shares her #SundayStills via this blog which I am now following, a photography challenge hosted by Terri  and I am giving it a go. Here is her wrap up for quite the year of 2020.

As we in Australia say, “you never know till you give it a go”.

The prompts for January 2021, should you wish to follow as I am are:

Jan 3   Your 2020 Retrospective (share your year in images)
Jan 10 Night
Jan 17 Color Challenge: Glacier Blue
Jan 24 Fog and Clouds
Jan 31 Your Favourite Landscape

I think for me, I will be kind of a week behind…but let’s just see!

Looking Back: Moving Forward!

2020. Here We GO!

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Great way to recount the “year that was” and surprisingly to me, the positives have far outweighed any negatives!

  • Gratitude being ‘my word’ for 2020 helped me see life from a different lens from time to time.
  • We felt safe here even in COVID times
  • I had successful surgeries – to my eyes and for rectal prolapse and even with a wound debridement later and longer recovery I feel well and glad it has all worked out for me.
  • I got the news that my head and neck cancer surgeon did not want me to return for a check for a year. Unbelievable.
  • We may not have seen as much of our extended family as we wished but so many are also restricted so the few catch ups we had made us even more grateful.
  • Both of us have been well supported by our local GPs and their crew even in telehealth times
  • The roof we have over our heads in this rental house is very strong and we enjoy living here.,
  • I got to visit my Dad a few times and he has remained well. I will be seeing him on Mon 11 January for his 97th birthday.

We are about to celebrate our fiftieth, Golden Wedding Anniversary and despite, COVID limitations, we are hopeful some of our family can visit.

 

Please follow this blog via Bloglovin  see my home page for link in which to add your email address.

You may prefer to follow the updates from here on my Facebook page for the blog.

I am on twitter as @denysewhelan1

My instagram account is private: ask for follow @denysewhelan_blogs

Each Monday I hosted a link up called Life This Week. There are optional prompts. They can be found on the home page too.

 

Here’s to 2021.

Denyse.

 

 

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Grateful For This. 38/51. #LifeThisWeek is 4 years old! 76/2020.

Grateful For This. 38/51. #LifeThisWeek is 4 years old! 76/2020.

  • I am forever grateful to be a blogger.
  • I am always grateful to have bloggers link up here.
  • I am feeling the gratitude that through this computer of mine we can connect!
  • So, today: celebrating 4 years of this link up, I offer you my gratitude. In abundance for coming here, reading, commenting, linking up and sharing!

 

If I could reach out to you all, here’s what you might have to celebrate the blog’s 4 years of link ups on Mondays. Big on cake and biscuit cooking at my place.

Where did it all start?

Back in August-September 2016. Gosh, I hadn’t even known I had cancer back then. Lovely Kirsty from here, decided to close her Monday link up called “I Must Confess” and I approached with an idea for Mondays and she was delighted to support and promote….we ARE good mates!! Thanks Kirsty.

This post tells some of the story too.

Here is the first blog post about it. With the first set of optional prompts.

M E M O R Y    L A N E :  September each  year.

2016: see above

2017: 

LTW is ONE. #LifeThisWeek. 35/52. 2017.105.

2018:

Have You Ever? 38/52. #LifeThisWeek is 2! 2018.93.

2019:

What Is Love? 37/51 #LifeThisWeek. 95/2019.

About the Optional Prompts.

I admit they can be easy to decide and then, I can find some weeks harder than others. I do use a calendar for some, for example recent post on Sydney 2000 based on the Sydney Olympics Anniversary. Some are personal because I have some views I want to share but they can apply generally, for example “birth order”. Then in 2018 I made a plan to help sort out the year by adding:

Each 5th week: Share Your Snaps (photo-based post)

Each 7th week: Self-Care Stories

Each 9th week: Taking Stock

This meant for me I “only” needed to come up with prompts in between those intervals.

The reality of the blogging calendar is there are 51 weeks of prompts, and often the last one or two is free choice.

Why Optional Prompts?

Sometime we can sit at the computer and draw a blank but we still want to write! I know this helps me to have a prompt but to ensure no-one felt if they had not blogged based on the prompt they could not link up, I call them optional prompt.

2020.

What a year 2020 has been. Nothing like any of us expected when we made our first of the year posts and mine was this!

Word of Year: Gratitude. 1/51 #LifeThisWeek 1/2020.

I admit when I set out to make a daily gratitude post on Instagram, I thought it would be easy. I knew I could find, feel and notice gratitude all around me. I was ready! Bring it on. Then…the year changed as we know, for all of us. My go-to daily activities were curtailed via the big C (not cancer, the other one) and I also had some surgical procedures. I really HAVE had to seach for gratitude far more deeply and note it even on the worst days for me. I continue to do the daily gratitude on Instagram (see the right hand side of the blog) until 31.12.2020.

2021.

I have no particular hopes nor dreams for 2021, given how 2020 has played out, but I do know one thing: Hamilton, the Musical, has been on repeat for me.

This sums it up…the title anyway, for 2021 and Life This Week!

Thank you for linking up today and commenting too. I will read your post later this week, as always!

Denyse.

 

Link Up 207

Life This Week. Link Up #207

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 39/51  Healthy. 28.9.2020

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Women Of Courage Series. #54 Leanne @DeepFriedFruit. 73/2020.

Women Of Courage Series. #54 Leanne @DeepFriedFruit. 73/2020.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid-May 2019: Wednesdays: each week and now the series concludes today with this post. Over the next two weeks there will be a look back at those who have shared their stories. Actually 56 women. The link to all of those stories is here.

Here is the introduction to the series and each woman’s story.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

 

Leanne, also known by her blog’s name of Deep Fried Fruit, has been blogging FOR ever..no, not really. However, I believe she started for a significant ZERO birthday and now admits to being at the next decade. Not one to hide away from her celebrations of life, she calls her birthday a festival. In real life, and yes, we have met, this person is warm, funny, generous and very caring. In fact, she stopped off on her family’s trip to Queensland two years ago so we could meet up!

 

Let’s get on with Leanne’ story…and I admit, she has written more than was asked but all good. The more we get to know about the ‘why’ of this lady!

 

Background

  • I look back and think of all the things in my life that took great courage and I guess most things do.  Every new experience requires some amount of bravery.
  • I used to be timid and shy.  As an only child I found safety in the walls of my own home with my tiny family.  Then one day my mum was told she only had two weeks to live and suddenly my safety was about to be stripped.
  • Her bravery of fighting the disease and winning, changed who I ultimately became.  Being timid in life was no longer an option. I learned if you want to achieve results you have to stand up and take responsibility for your existence. You had to find courage.
  • As a result, I’m someone whose meta programming is set high on the “challenge” meter.  Some people take the path of least resistance in life, others take the path of most challenge. I’m the latter.

 

My favourite quote is by Sarah Henderson:

“Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.”

That’s how I live my life. I spend a great deal of time striding down great big long tunnels to turn that bloody light switch on. Which means I need a fair bit of courage I suppose.  Although I don’t necessarily recognise it at the time.

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

My mum’s leukaemia, backpacking overseas alone, buying my first home, completing my degrees, creating a career, marrying into a readymade family, having kids, dealing with fibromyalgia. The standard stuff.

 

I think there are some major milestones that took more courage than others though.

  1. “Retiring” from a well-established career at the age of 36 to concentrate on my family
  2. Becoming the creator/founder of several small business initiatives
  3. Deciding to self-publish my children’s book series
  4. Watching helplessly as cancer took our (my husband’s) eldest child
  5. Re-entering the workforce at the age many retire

While point number 4 is probably the one jumping out as the most challenging event anyone could possibly face, it’s still too hard to talk about.  So, I won’t be talking about the loss of a child today.

Instead, given it’s current, I’d like to chat about number 5.

 

Re-entering the workforce.

 

How did this change you?

  • For the past 15 years, skipping merrily outside the boundaries of the paid workforce as a sole trader and finder of cool projects, I’ve been striding through many tunnels turning on a shitload of Sarah Henderson-esque light switches.
  • You’d think that with all the results I’ve achieved when I was out there on my own, re-entering the workforce would be easy. I mean, I’ve done so much! I’m a force to be reckoned with, aren’t I?
  • I would have thought so too, but no.
  • Going back to work” has honestly been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.
  • Why? Because I discovered something when I went back to work in corporate Australia.  I’m old!
  • I know right.  Shocking revelation.
  • I thought I could waltz right back in there and just be amazing. But it turns out I’ve got a bit to catch up on in the corporate world and apparently my brain isn’t quite what it used to be.

 

Re-entering the workforce changed me.  My confidence, resilience and emotions hit an all time low.

According to the numbers I am fifty years old, but my heart says I’m still a vibrant, intelligent and energetic 35-year-old who knows everything there is to know about everything. Hell, there are days I’ve got the mindset, energy and frivolity of a 20-year-old and the smarts of a 70-year-old Harvard professor.  Lingo and all.   Yet despite my love of life, my readiness to be challenged and the wealth of experience under my belt, the fact is, I’ve been out of the workforce for a bloody long time.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend?

  • Every single challenge in life presents an opportunity for growth.
  • While wallowing in self-pity, I realised I’d bumbled into this job without much thought nor planning.  Somebody needed me to fill a gap, so I filled it.  Then somebody else needed me to fill another gap and I filled that one too. That was my re-entry. I didn’t create my new work life; I simply fell into it.
  • It’s hard to stride down a tunnel with purpose when you’ve fallen into the tunnel.
  • So, I downed tools, re-wrote my resume, contacted recruitment and said, “hello world, here I am, and this is what I have to offer you”.  I took back control and started striding forward on my terms again.
  • I guess I’d like to say out loud for all to hear, if you find yourself in a job you aren’t enjoying, or that doesn’t suit you, or that makes you feel less-than, then do something about it.  Don’t stay there for staying sake.
  • I’m now focussing on my strengths, adding value where I know I can and not putting so much pressure on myself to be able to do everything.

 

I have decided to create my job, rather than have my job re-create me. Or more specifically, rather than have my job deflate me.

 

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it?

  • Absolutely, 100%, without a doubt. Our challenges make us stronger.  My challenges have made me stronger.
  • Facing problems can be hard. At the time it can even feel like the end of the world.

But looking back at the times where courage has been required is a fantastic reminder that we do survive them, 100% of the time, because we’re still here!

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

 

  • When you’re younger you tend to put up with a lot more heartache in order to get your foot in the door, particularly when it comes to jobs and careers.  I know I did whatever it took to show my value. I worked hard from the ground up.
  • When I re-entered the workforce, I thought I’d waltz back in without that need to go back to grass roots, and it was quite a dent to my pride to discover I wasn’t as shit-hot a I thought I was; or perhaps as I used to be.
  • When I hit rock bottom, I thought “wow, does this mean I have to start again? Has my experience over the last 30 years meant nothing?”
  • No.  We don’t need to start again. Everything we’ve done previously is still part of us, only we’re even better off because we not only have that experience, we also have a proven track record of resilience, growth and acquired wisdom.
  • If like me you don’t like your job, and the light at the end of the tunnel is dimming, then just stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.

 

Anything else to add?

  • This “being back at work” thing is new, and I am still finding my feet.
  • But if there is one thing I know for sure; I still have a good 15 years of work life left in me in which to create something that suits my strengths.
  • I may well create my dream job or a whole new career, or I may just decide that my current income generating activity is simply that, an income source.
  • The bottom line is, if the world feels dim, I’m now old enough and wise enough to know where to find the light switch.

Denyse offering me this WOC interview has been a fantastic exercise in recognizing where my inner lion has been needed in life and how I can apply it to my current situation.Thanks so much Denyse for this opportunity to reflect and to remind me where to find the light.

 

Thank you Leanne, you are an amazing friend and definitely a great woman of courage and it’s my privilege to share your story as the final one in the series over the past 2 years.

Thank you to all of the Women of Courage.

Over the next two weeks, there will be a farewell and appreciation for those who shared in 2019 and in 2020.

 

Denyse.

 

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On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends.

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