Wednesday 23rd September 2020

Remember This. 3/51 #LifeThisWeek. 5/2020.

Remember This. 3/51 #LifeThisWeek. 5/2020.

My plan for today’s post went back to the drafts when what I am sharing came through my social media. I want to remember this….how I have watched (via the internet) a person I’ve known as a blogger…as a young mum and wife…wend her way through the challenges of life that might for some be too much.

We share a love of photography, the beach, nature, kids, art, journalling and blogging.

Becky from here (do read her blog even though she has not updated for a while)  and also here on Instagram wrote this and I “wowed” and “woahed” my way through.

You see, I have taken an interest (from a distance literally) in Becky and her husband’s and family’s welfare for a while but moreso in the recent bushfires which were coming VERY close..too close to where they live on the far south coast and they needed to retreat to family in Canberra. I know they are home now and thankful their place is intact. The memories of what remains must be awful.

Becky and I, along with a few others in instagram, share our love for #1secondaday which is an app recording the month/year one second at a time. Becky was sharing hers and I saw what she wrote.

Remember this! Gratitude. Find it. Feel it. Be it. It’s part of Becky’s took to keep on keeping on through her mental health days and nights.

Like I said to her, “I am so proud of you”. I hope you too can remember this: Becky Found Gratitude Every Day.

 

2019’s 1SE. I had planned to say a lot when I shared it. About the year, about mental illness, about me having dropped all the balls that were once in the air. About people who are really there for you even when you’re not actively able to reach out to them- and those who disappear. About being seen as a ‘poster girl’ for mental illness, approached for tips and ideas for helping someone who is struggling but rarely being on the receiving end of those actions. About disappointing myself, stigma and toxic positivity.

There was a lot. It probably would have ended up as a blog post, I guess.
It’s all still very relevant to my situation, but I don’t have the energy to put it all together.

What I DO want to say though, is this; if you’re practising gratitude, focusing on those beautiful moments, acknowledging that you are blessed and you’re STILL suffering through the darkness of depression you are not broken. This thing I do everyday is part of remembering the good things (memory like a sieve), being so very thankful for this life, being in awe of these little people. But, I’m still not ok.

Being depressed doesn’t make you an ungrateful pessimist anymore than having a broken leg does.

Thank you so much Becky for sharing.

I hope too, that when you are up for writing a blog post again, you pop in here. Or, as I often recommend, link up an old post on a Monday. All are welcome!

 

So, I ask the question….as above….

And take care everyone.

Denyse.

I was inspired by Becky’s story, but I am also aware that mental health does not always treat us well.

If you need to chat confidentially to someone do call Lifeline 13 11 14.

 

Link Up #172. Life This Week.

Link Up #172. Life This Week.

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I Am Grateful Today. Cancer Surgery #1. Part Two. 2017.94.

I Am Grateful Today. Cancer Surgery #1. Part Two. 2017.94.

Two weeks ago I wrote “I Am Grateful Today. Cancer Surgery #1 Part One. Here is the link as it is the ‘back story’ to this post.

Where did those two weeks go? I did say I would write Part Two last week for I Blog on Tuesdays and Loving’ Linky on Thursday but a hiccup called anti-biotic reaction in my gut  s l o w e d  me down!  Add to that a  ‘foggy post-anaesthetic’ brain and needing to rest more, time got away!

Here I go, outlining some of the features I was grateful for during my stay on Level 9 North Room 16 at Chris O’Brien Lifehouse. I arrived on the ward late Sunday afternoon from ICU and the delight at seeing the V.I.E.W. from my bed made the wait worth it!

I was in my private  room from Sunday 9 July until Saturday 15 July – day of discharge.

Warning: I have added a few photos of myself as I was recovering. In some ways this was very helpful for me to see progress. Scroll on by if you would prefer not to look. 

The arrival in a room of my own brought me some independence even though I still needed some initial assistance to get up for the ‘loo. I was grateful, oh so grateful for my relative independence.

I was still on nil by mouth – liquid food via a naso-gastric tube  ( I tolerated it and guess I was grateful because the nutrition, along with the drip feed of fluid was keeping me alive (LOL) …just disliked the feeling on the fluid  tube feed inside me. 

I stayed in a hospital gown because..I was messy…no details but a fair bit of me in the head/neck area was cut into and then stitched back so there were… messy fluids. I was grateful for a warm quick wash in bed and a change of gown daily. It also meant my nice Sussan nighties stayed in the bag until later in the week.

I have mentioned elsewhere that I had some amazing nurses caring for me and I struck up conversations with them all. Often my chats were to ask them about their career choice and how they liked their working lives, and with only one exception all agreed (from young ones to older ones) that this is a vocation for them. I am incredibly grateful to those who choose nursing and who remain dedicated to it as I saw first-hand how rushed off their feet they could be. I often said to them “I hope you have had a meal and a bit of a break today/tonight”.

The night nurse I had 4 nights in a row who clicked with me was Roan and I know I featured him in a post recently  about how we shared a passion for  photography. He was the one who invited me to get up and onto the balcony for sunrise pics. I am so grateful for his genuine care.

As the week progressed I was grateful to see some of the surgeons’ team arrive each day to check on me (and the flap inside my mouth to see it was still ‘lub dubbing’. I was ALWAYS grateful to hear that sound from the doppler! 

I had excellent care from three allied professionals and I am oh so grateful for their advice and help.: the physio who got me into my boot and walking with some trepidation but I eventually could walk unaided. The speech therapist whose job it was on Day 6 post surgery to see if I could speak well (derrr. who was ever going to stop me!) and to drink my first glass of water…as sips! It was GOOD. So grateful for that drink for sure. The dietitian had lots of advice and seemed well-versed in IBS issues and I was grateful for my first day of clear fluids on the 7th day post surgery. But I never wanted to try the soup again after the third time! I tolerated the jelly and the apple juice well. On the last day in hospital I was on smooth soft foods but there was little for me to choose from (that I liked!) but I was grateful to have some mashed potato and some baked tomato – which I had to smash up for it to ‘go down.

Each day brought me something to be grateful for. I was told by every medical professional just how amazingly well I was progressing. I had no measure for this but they obviously did and when I asked the Professor quite cheekily did he think I could go home on the weekend (I hoped Saturday) he said words to the effect ” keeping on going the way you are and I see no reason why not”. How grateful I was that I would be discharged in the minimum time (I was told initially 10-14 days and I went home on day 10!) And check me out with NO more tubes down the nose or up the nose..oh so grateful for that day! 

The person I am also incredibly grateful to is the anaesthetist who put drips and cannulas in 3 different places ( he said to ensure that if one stopped working in the marathon 11 hour surgery, he has a spare to use!). I might bruise easily, and now 3 weeks post-surgery my bruises have gone. They did not hurt me much. I was grateful for relatively little pain in the mouth and just a bit from the leg’s various sites where flesh and bone were harvested. From day two I only ever needed panadol – drip version first, then  liquid version as swallowing too challenging with the swelling inside my mouth.

There are many quiet and lonely times in hospital once evening comes and I was so grateful for my iphone for messages, texts and emails (as well as IG, twitter and FB) and my new Ipad for games, music and more. I also took my art things but the one I did enjoy the most was making mandalas each evening. The meditative effect for me was so for helpful in mitigating missing my husband and home.

I was grateful for the kindness of friends who understood my request for no visitors other than my husband and my daughter. Our son could not make it in. I had many, many well-wishes and some surprises dropped into my room for me. I did feel grateful for this. It is a distraction and a way in which to reinforce how we need to connect with our fellow humans!

 

On Saturday 15 July, after the minor (which led to some not great complications for my gut later at home) infection  was noted in an area of my leg & treated,  my husband arrived…I was already dressed (keen much?) then he had to pack up the bag and more. It was done with ease and I was grateful to leave my room of shelter, health recovery and protection  to be put in a wheelchair and taken to our car.

I am grateful if you have read to the end. It was interesting trying to recall events chronologically and without the photos to help me I would have struggled. This weekend ( as I write) I am feeling less and less foggy-brained and the gut is settling from the nasty antibiotics.

Have you ever had major surgery?

How was your recovery?

What were you grateful for?

Denyse.

3 weeks post-surgery. On our way home from post-op check up.

 

Joining Kylie Purtell for I Blog on Tuesdays here and Leanne at Deep Fried Fruit for Loving’ Life here on Thursday.

 

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