Tuesday 7th July 2020

Women Of Courage Series. #46 Christie Hawkes. 53/2020.

Women Of Courage Series. #46 Christie Hawkes. 53/2020.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid-May 2019: Wednesdays: each week until the series concludes in 2020.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

I am pleased to say I have another wonderful blogging friend join us today from the USA for this series. I ‘met’ Christie Hawkes, who is 58, via a regular blogging link up called. Mid Life Share The Love here. We have read each others’ blog posts over the years and I felt quite a connection to the way in which Christie ‘tells it as it is’….and THAT is from a place of courage. I am honoured too, that she is sharing a story that may bring some sad thoughts to the surface in doing so…but I will say no more. Here is Christie and she can tell it her way.

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

Like most women who reach middle age, I have faced a number of circumstances that required courage:

  • moving out on my own,
  • getting married,
  • having children,
  • going back to school,
  • applying for jobs,
  • getting divorced,
  • getting remarried (creating a blended family with four teenagers!)…you get the idea.

But the thing that comes to mind for me as the most challenging was facing an adult child’s drug addiction and knowing that I could not fix it for her.

Not only that, but I would have to ask her to leave my home, not knowing where she would go or if she would be lost to me forever.

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

Perhaps most important, I gained a new confidence in my ability to deal with adversity, and I learned to release things I can’t control. (Well, I’m still learning that one: practice, not perfect.)

  • I learned that I can survive something that initially felt so all-consuming that it might literally destroy me.
  • It did not.
  • I discovered the power of breathing, meditation, and grounding myself in the present moment…rather than projecting into an unknown future.
  • I learned to focus on what I can control.
  • And I learned that you can feel joy even in the midst of the most difficult of times.
  • Flowers still smell sweet.
  • Sunsets are still beautiful.
  • Music still touches you.
  • Coffee still tastes good.
  • These are all invaluable lessons I carry with me today and tools I put to use on a regular basis.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

All the things I listed above, but to simplify, take one breath at a time.

Know that this crisis will not last forever.

It will either pass or you will make adjustments and settle into a new normal.

You are so much stronger than you think.

If you are still breathing, you are succeeding.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

Definitely. As I mentioned previously, I have gained confidence in my own abilities and I have developed tools for resilience.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

Embrace the small joys.

Take care of yourself physically.

If you become overwhelmed, pause and breathe deeply, refocus on those things that are within your control.

Release everything else to the Universe…to your God…or to whatever higher power is out there.

 

Do add anything else that you think would help others who read your post.

I would like to share that my daughter is sober today, working as a nurse, recently remarried, and raising her three beautiful children. We remained in touch throughout her journey to sobriety.

I did not lose her forever. I know not every story has a happy ending, but if I had let this crisis…the incredible fear…consume me, I would have missed all the joy, all the growth.

 

 

Thank you Christie for opening up to share this story of courage within many part of your life where courage was also needed. I am glad to read of your daughter’s continuing good health and her life as is now. Mostly too, for many of us, that through reading a story like yours, I am again reminded of controlling what I can control. Only me.

Denyse.

 

Social Media:

Blog/Website:  https://christiehawkes.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/chawkes61

Facebook Page : https://www.facebook.com/SoWhatNowWhatBlog/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christiehawkes/

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends.

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