Sunday 3rd July 2022

Being Me in June & What’s a Move Back Home To YOU? 41/2022.

Being Me in June & What’s a Move Back Home To YOU? 41/2022.

This post will cover quite a bit of ground!

It’s my time to share how my Word of The Year is working out for me via the  post to this link up run by Deb, Sue,  Donna and  Jo too.

It’s my end of (not quite but nearly) June 2022 sharing “the month that was”

And it’s a more detailed post about where we see our future life being lived.

Word of the Year. Be(ing) Me.

I am, now, living the me I want to be more than ever.

I have learned to speak up and confidently share what it is I really would like, rather than hide behind my emotions….and become frustrated. So in being me, I can share more further on about the move back home and the why.

Sometimes we can make mistakes in OUR thinking about what others might be thinking..as we try to guess what direction life might take us.

Now, of course, after all the inner work I have been doing, AND living, I realise that our thoughts are not always true, and they can often be something that tells us lies and distorts our thinking.

I probably feel the BEST I have felt both emotionally and physically ever. Lots of the impact of having my cancer gone, my recent surgeries helping my other issues and being incredibly grateful for life and being here NOW to enjoy it all.

June’s Happenings.

  • We have remained well and (cross fingers) covid and flu free because of our use of masks everywhere AND all vaccines possible on board.
  • More conversations about moving back to Sydney…see further down.
  • My 6 month visit for a check at Westmead with my prosthodontist. I couldn’t take photos of us this time round but did a few shots around the place. I mentioned all the amazing work he had done having my upper prosthesis and lower partial denture so well set and he said “no, it’s you doing the hard work every day that makes it so”. Worth it, I say!
  • Update: on 21 June, he called me to say ‘bone loss’ appearing near an abutment (implant site) you will need to come back next week for a CT scan and we will take the prosthesis off to check all around it. This was unexpected news. I got stressed. I then was able to see it now as being grateful for this person’s competence and diligence. But another reminder of what having head and neck cancer has done to me. No cancer noted.
  • Cold weather. Nights down to single digits…but the mandala crocheted rug has helped me feel very warm and cosy.
  • Cooking: soups for me and Dad, meals for us, and cakes and treats. The freezer means that with batch cooking I don’t need to every day.
  • News that we will be fee paying at the GP’s from July and that the very low Medicare fees paid by the Federal Govt NEED to be lifted …no change for many years.
  • Meeting up with my two adult granddaughters for coffee when I was back in Sydney.
  • Having a follow up appointment with the nice Gynaecologist here and going along with his plan for me to have…(yet another) surgery to repair vaginal prolapse..in 2020 I had rectal prolapse repair & that was so worth doing. I have been living with a cystocele for over 20 years. All from childbirth. Ageing, and dryness is not helping so now using a prescription oestrogel cream till surgery on 11 August. I am sharing all of this because we never did…women told some stories but not like these. So, don’t put up with something that a specialist may help you with…and I know I face more recovery time (sigh) but I have done this before. I am 72…and over the counter fixes and supplements do not help with this. I was ANTI this surgery because of misinformation. No way was I having anything to do with mesh. My Gynaecologist said HE was one who was telling those other colleagues NOT to use it. So, that is why NOW I am going ahead.
  • Saying good bye to my GP here of over 5 years who has helped me with so much. But the good news, I have all of the tools now to continue onto a new GP at the practice and once we are back in Sydney, will be returning to our old GP practice.
  • Deciding to continue the blog until my hosting and other add ons run out in around May 2023.

About The Move Back Home….

In making the choice to move back home to NorWest Sydney in our future there were these three things we considered in our decision.

  1. When we moved up here, from NorWest Sydney to the N.S.W. Central Coast (around 2 hours north) it was for reasons of financial freedom from a mortgage, releasing me, the then 65 yo, from any more paid work, and to see how life was for us on the coast. 
  2. The move saw us try out 3 different parts of the N.S.W. Central Coast, and we loved aspects of each. But none of them was now, as we move into our mid 70s, good enough to keep us here as our health needs changed, along with a loneliness for like friendships (my need) and to have great opportunity to connect with member of our family.
  3. Our saved money was now, due to many factors, never going to buy us a house here or back in Sydney, but the rent increase here (significant) meant we were able to afford to rent in an area back in NorWest Sydney where we have ties of family, friends, health and familiarity.

 

My comment to Leanne: after my first post announcing the possible move….

There has never been an expectation in our family to ‘care for us’ at all. However, what I note, as Dad is much older now, is that his son, is someone he can ask for help as needed. He does not do it much and he has a couple of friends where he is too. Everyone else from his life…is no longer here!

In the friendship vein, B and I made friends through our careers but now almost 20 years later, things have moved on with those groups and here there has been no-one with whom we can say we share anything in common.

We are, though, incredibly grateful for the relationships we have made up here at the northern end of the Central Coast. So many people we have connected with professionally and in a caring manner. People who remember your name at the coffee shop, to those at the dentist/doctor/podiatrist who know me well enough to joke around…and many more. And as for the hairdresser. Of this I cannot (yet) speak. My BEST ever haircuts are by Bec.

So, whilst I will outline what our plans may be, it is clear for us, that our time living here has served its purpose in our lives and we will move to where ‘home’ feels like it is for us more!

We plan to return to the area of Sydney where we used to live but to rent. There will be no chance we can buy again. Ever. This is the story for so many we know, and that for now, includes members of our family. What we will be able to do though is find a smaller place for around what we are paying here, and despite having had 8 years away, will pick up connections to needs such as health ones and shopping and so on. We are already planning our downsizing and de-cluttering to another level. And whilst we are not publicly saying any dates or times, we would think that by this time in 2023, that our move will have been made.

We rented teacher houses in our first years of marriage, settling into the north west parts of Sydney in 1978, and leaving the area in 2015 for the N.S.W. Central Coast. It will be back to this general area of north western Sydney (much expanded since we left) that we hope to call home again.

This image is from where I lived age 10-20 and where my parents did until 2011. Northern Beaches of Sydney. Manly.

A Taste of Life Back Where I Feel It’s Home. 

On 16 June 2022, I had to go to Westmead for a 6 month check and usually once that was done, I would drive back up the M1 to our place on the coast. This time, I had two other ideas in mind, to get me back to the NorWest of Sydney area, and to bring me up to speed where we are likely to live and about the changes in the places and more.

I drove a very familiar road from Westmead, up Old Windsor Rd, through the turn offs to Glenwood (where we lived 1998-2015) and to Windsor Road and onto Rouse Hill Town Centre. There has been a HUGE amount of urban development and infrastructure like the Metro Rail, yet I could still  find my way. After parking as I recalled the spot, near the Library, I was easily able to meet my two adult granddaughters in our agreed catch up spot near Muffin Break at the Food Court.

We had a great catch up, and yes of course, in almost 8 years much has happened to the centre and to our girls but we enjoyed the memories and later as I left, I captured images. I was around, as a teacher back then in mid 2000s seeing the Rouse Hill Town Centre built!

One more stop before driving back up the coast was to the Family Medical Practice at Rouse Hill, which is now a Mega one…but the same two women I knew from the old practice back in the day, welcomed me with hugs and lots of questions…and yes, we will be fine coming back there. Great news.

It was a tad overwhelming on that day however, as I managed emotions based on:

  • Five years since cancer diagnosis….and all those trips back and forth to Westmead for my upper prosthesis to be made over time…huge
  • Seeing my adult granddaughters in a place I last shared morning tea with them as teenagers.
  • And then noting how, despite all the changes, we can still pick up and be well cared for in our health futures.

I was able to share it all with B after the day, and then the next day reflected on the gratitude which abounds for me.

So, back to the question….what would a move back home mean to you?

Perhaps you are already ‘home’ and that is wonderful.

Maybe, you are able to make ‘home, wherever you are’
I guess I tried to do this for us but in the end, the ties of love, the familiar and connections with like-people helped me know that I could only pretend for a while.

I was always set on moving back to Sydney if B had died because I had never considered that he too may want to go along with the idea.

Never assume…have the courage to ask for yourself…and see what may arise.

Listening to our hearts AND our heads, helps!

 

I hope you were able to read till the end! Thank you.

Denyse.

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