Friday 27th May 2022

Self Compassion: My Healthy Life Challenge: April 2022. 19/2022.

We Missed Mondays…..

I had some nostalgia last Monday, wondering “what do I do on Monday mornings now?”

I thought I was caring for my health by stopping the weekly link up at 280 for Life This Week, and that stands….

But for me, and it seems a few/most of my blogging friends, the ‘once a month’ thing wasn’t feeling all that friendly. So, as I said, we I can change my mind…and with that…Mondays, every 2nd week, will be blog link up time again. A slight name change so it’s a bit different. Life’s Stories and the link up will be open this Monday at 5.00 a.m AEDST. Denyse.

 

Self Compassion: My Healthy Life Challenge: April 2022. 19/2022.

In my post for Word of The Year March 2022 I will be writing more about how hard it has been in some ways to:

BE   ME

This got me looking back to my Self Compassion course done via an app in January 2022 (see this post for more) and continuing my progress to become more self compassionate.

I have had some emotional and mental turmoil take over parts of my being and I need(ed) to challenge and ask what was going on.

More about that in the post that is coming.

For now, and into the 30 days of April, I offer to others a  Healthy Life Challenge about being:

Self Compassionate.

An example from recent weeks and my self compassion (inner talk, self kindness, care, criticism and so on):

Left: been to skin doctor & had biopsies taken. I felt somewhat sorry for myself…..and took myself out for a coffee and consider how that had unnerved me a bit.

Right: an ordinary every day selfie. Pointing to where the skin was biopsied. What IS it about me and selfies, my husband recently asked…I said

“I have never felt confident at all about my appearance, especially my face, until post-head and neck cancer surgeries, and I like to get reminders, in the selfies that my outside is looking good, even if, at times, my inside tells me different stories”

Having completed the January 2022 course, I was pleased with my growth in self compassion, but it takes so much reminding and practice to learn!

Link to course is here.

Some words from within the course.

“our human compassion binds us to one another – not in pity or patronizingly, but as human beings who have learnt how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future” Nelson Madala.

What IS Compassion?

  1. We have a brain and body that has been built FOR is, not by us – our brain and body evolved with emotions (such as fear and anger) and behaviours (such as fighting, avoiding and running away) to help us survice. But these can cause us a lot of pain.
  2. We grow older and eventually our lives come to an end – not writing this to make us sad, just that this is a reality of life. But for many of us, knowing this will happen can cause a lot of distress.
  3. We’re shaped by life experiences, which are not always in our control – those experienced shape the minds we have, and the people we become. For example, if you were raised by your next door neighbours rather than your family, it’s likely you’d be quite a different person, with different interests, lifestyle and even political and religious beliefs.

 

 

Over the years, via this link to Kristen Neff’s Self Compassion quiz, I KNOW I am doing well.

Yet, because of the habits of life till recent times, I have forgotten or remembered too late about

Self Compassion

So, as I make big shifts in my life, changing from doing (less)  me to being  (more) me

I made a challenge:

(and I always seem to like one of those!)

Changing from less doing to more being.

  • 30 Days
  • Instagram (@denyse.whelan -ask for follow)
  • Facebook (@denysewhelanblogs)
  • and Twitter (@denysewhelan1)
  • What does my self compassion look like, feel like today
  • Share with an image or representation of self compassion done your way
  • Share a quote or image that sums up how you are helping yourself be more self compassionate

Do you know that we are far more likely to be self compassionate to friends and family than to ourselves?

I would highly recommend some books that you can read, borrow or listen to, that have helped me in many ways:

I’ll use these hashtags

#selfcompassion

#selfcare

#timeforme

#takingcare

#healthinageing

#lifetransitions

The RULES….for this challenge…there are no rules.….

other than to learn to be more self compassionate, and to forgive yourself on each occasion you forget.

and, 30 days is arbitrary.

Posting is as well.

Make this something that works for you, with self compassion at its core.

I will be continuing to review my days via the app, using gratitude as the base and to write to help me heal and grow. All within the app, and private for me. It’s a discipline to remember as I have another diary app but I am enjoying the value of both, along with the writing reflections I do after each Calm meditation.

How about it?

Are you thinking you could be helping yourself with some self compassion?

Let me know your thoughts,

with love, AND compassion,

Denyse.

Joining in with Natalie for Weekend Coffee Share today

Thank you Natalie.

https://natalietheexplorer.home.blog/

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. This sounds like a very positive way to spend the days of April Denyse! I agree we are more likely to be compassionate to others before ourselves – why is that i wonder?? Looking forward to seeing how you go and I’ll think about joining in!

  2. Thanks Deb. I believe we are ‘raised’ to put others first and think of others before ourselves. Maybe more for women, I don’t know. And in my personal and professional lives, I was the ‘care’ taker/giver and the one who made sure others were Ok and doing well.

    I knew I needed some help with understanding this for myself way back, and it was probably around 2016 and I was doing my posts for Taking Stock. I used the records of these over time to see if I had, from my research and learning made some changes, and when I looked back I had.

    I knew about Kristen Neff’s work and took part in a course she ran with Brene Brown..and back in 2016 Brene was very sceptical about ‘self compassion’ because “what?” You can forgive yourself for making mistakes?? That comment made me think because of my lack of self forgiveness and compassion.

    The start for me, of ‘undoing’ my life’s inner voices was completing Kristen’s quiz which is the in the post. My results now are very different from over 6 years ago.

    I wanted to do something along these lines for myself and now sharing it, because it takes a LOT to change old ways of thinking and habits so it can be a good thing to be reminded of being more self-compassionate.

    Glad you read this and happy to have you join in, share when and if you feel up to it. See, no rules!!

    Take care,

    Denyse.

    • Thanks Denyse, I took the quiz and was quite high on self compassion and I’ve downloaded a few of the resources to have on hand.

      • That’s good news Deb. I think I have always been less than self compassionate and now continue to need reminders…old habits and all that.

        I am thinking this won’t necessarily be a selfie or photo challenge exclusively but also some quotes and wisdom we have found helpful.

        Cheers,

        Denyse.

  3. Hi Denyse, I will join you in the challenge as we all need a daily reminder to show the compassion to ourselves that we are so ready to show others. Looking forward to it! xx

    • Thanks so much Sue.

      If you get the chance, I highly recommend doing the quiz that is in this post…and printing your results…and then, after the 30 days give it another go because you will have been more intentional in your self compassion.

      Really was a great motivator for me back in 2016-2017 as I used to comment on this as part of Taking Stock then too.

      Your support and kindness is much appreciated.

      Take care,

      Denyse.

  4. I really like the idea of taking the time to focus on self-compassion. After reading your Instagram post I thought that maybe I would give the app a try anyway, 1-2 months at least. It’s very true that we treat everyone else better than we do ourselves – I discuss this often with a friend and we always agree we need to talk to ourselves as we would with each other. But it’s easy to get back into the old habit!
    I’ll think about what I can do to join in with you. It could be a good way to get back to the good self-care habits I’ve lost during this busy and rough winter.

    • Good one Susanne, I am glad it’s given you something more to ponder. I don’t know what images or how I will go about it but It think the best part is we ARE going to think about it more, AND be more self compassionate.

      And, as I said in the post, no rules, really. Do what you can or choose.

      I would suggest if you wanted to give the quiz a go, then you might have a starting point…I know it’s shown me, over the years how I have made some changes.

      Take care,

      Denyse.

  5. Hi Denyse,

    As counter-intuitive as it is, we really are our own worse enemy sometimes and it takes some mental and emotional rigor to unwind this grasp we have on our own ability to enjoy life.

    You offer some great insights above and I’m glad you found your way past the monsters that often live right behind our own eyes.

    Many thanks

    • Thanks so much Gary for your words of wisdom.

      When “WILL” we get this human living thing right…ha!

      As long as we recognise it, then we can be more kind to ourselves!

      Always great to see your comment here,

      Denyse.