Friday 25th September 2020

Remember This. 3/51 #LifeThisWeek. 5/2020.

Remember This. 3/51 #LifeThisWeek. 5/2020.

My plan for today’s post went back to the drafts when what I am sharing came through my social media. I want to remember this….how I have watched (via the internet) a person I’ve known as a blogger…as a young mum and wife…wend her way through the challenges of life that might for some be too much.

We share a love of photography, the beach, nature, kids, art, journalling and blogging.

Becky from here (do read her blog even though she has not updated for a while)  and also here on Instagram wrote this and I “wowed” and “woahed” my way through.

You see, I have taken an interest (from a distance literally) in Becky and her husband’s and family’s welfare for a while but moreso in the recent bushfires which were coming VERY close..too close to where they live on the far south coast and they needed to retreat to family in Canberra. I know they are home now and thankful their place is intact. The memories of what remains must be awful.

Becky and I, along with a few others in instagram, share our love for #1secondaday which is an app recording the month/year one second at a time. Becky was sharing hers and I saw what she wrote.

Remember this! Gratitude. Find it. Feel it. Be it. It’s part of Becky’s took to keep on keeping on through her mental health days and nights.

Like I said to her, “I am so proud of you”. I hope you too can remember this: Becky Found Gratitude Every Day.

 

2019’s 1SE. I had planned to say a lot when I shared it. About the year, about mental illness, about me having dropped all the balls that were once in the air. About people who are really there for you even when you’re not actively able to reach out to them- and those who disappear. About being seen as a ‘poster girl’ for mental illness, approached for tips and ideas for helping someone who is struggling but rarely being on the receiving end of those actions. About disappointing myself, stigma and toxic positivity.

There was a lot. It probably would have ended up as a blog post, I guess.
It’s all still very relevant to my situation, but I don’t have the energy to put it all together.

What I DO want to say though, is this; if you’re practising gratitude, focusing on those beautiful moments, acknowledging that you are blessed and you’re STILL suffering through the darkness of depression you are not broken. This thing I do everyday is part of remembering the good things (memory like a sieve), being so very thankful for this life, being in awe of these little people. But, I’m still not ok.

Being depressed doesn’t make you an ungrateful pessimist anymore than having a broken leg does.

Thank you so much Becky for sharing.

I hope too, that when you are up for writing a blog post again, you pop in here. Or, as I often recommend, link up an old post on a Monday. All are welcome!

 

So, I ask the question….as above….

And take care everyone.

Denyse.

I was inspired by Becky’s story, but I am also aware that mental health does not always treat us well.

If you need to chat confidentially to someone do call Lifeline 13 11 14.

 

Link Up #172. Life This Week.

Link Up #172. Life This Week.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week!

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Next Week’s weekly optional prompt is: 4/51 Australia 27.1.2020

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Comments

  1. Hi Denyse, I remember posting to Social Media during the Bushfires and was howled down by some because I had brought up the subject of being grateful even during the devastation. I remember at the time, you were also struggling with the idea of feeling gratitude and positivity during this time but happy to see that you have made gratitude your theme for 2020. Becky is strong and like many of us who sometimes live with anxiety, stress or depression, she has found the strength to find some small daily gratitude to help her and others. Thanks for sharing and also hosting #lifethisweek. xx I’m grateful for your forum to share our blogging thoughts. x

    • Thank you so much Sue. I was mentally nodding as I read. For a little while as the fires burned I recall thinking “oh gosh, how can people be posting holiday pics right now” and then I changed my view. It was the fact that they did where I was able to let go of some of my overly anxious thoughts and tune into good times happening elsewhere. They reminded me that ‘life goes on’ and we can be grateful for that too. I know of someone whose blog became a business and she could not be a more compassionate and caring person who was also ‘shouted’ down because she posted her holiday. She has since felt the need to now SHARE all the donations, the care and the giving that goes on with her business and blog that’s always been her way of giving back.

      There was (and still is) a lot of fear and anxiety in this awful time. I literally had to get off social media (twitter) due to the politics of the fires/climate change as it did not help my mental health.

      Becky, whose illness is on-going, has an affinity with the beach and nature and loves taking photos there and of her children. In her words, as she shared, taking the photos, being in her children’s lives is part of being grateful but it doesn’t mean she is well.

      Thanks again Sue, your insights are spot-on.

      Denyse
      PS I decided to count my link ups after seeing yours and Leanne’s was getting close to 100 and got quite a surprise to know this one was in 170s. Now I am proudly noting it thanks to you both.

  2. Thank you, Denyse, for sharing Becky’s message. I think even in difficult times, we can all find something to be grateful for. I’m grateful for waking up to a new day every morning. #lifethisweek

    • That is my privilege as a blogger to share someone’s story when they agree.

      Thank you for your kind words.

      We are connected on-line is such a caring way.

      Denyse. x

  3. Thank you for sharing Becky’s message. These bushfires have brought a lot up for a lot of people – and not just for those immediately impacted. My sister was caught up in the Conjola fires and told me how she & her two youngest literally ran for the lake at one point. Being on the other side of the world in a completely different time zone & knowing she was there, knowing she couldn’t get word out to family (including 2 of her children) for a couple of days & knowing there was nothing I could do was hard for us from the outside – I can’t imagine how it was for her.

    • Oh wow. That is a lot of worry and concern to be dealing with at a distance.

      I can sense how HARD that must have been for your sister and children. I have read and seen so many stories of course but when it’s close to you, as this was, it’s very stark.

      As I said to a facebook friend who had to evacuate twice and remains in a heightened state of vigilance, there is going to a huge need for counselling. No-one can go through this alone as they reflect on the losses and ‘what ifs.’

      Thanks Jo and I hope things are OK with her now…

      Denyse x

      • Thanks Denyse. They were lucky and their house was fine but they sheltered people who had lost everything. She says she’ll never forget it, but was back down there again last week. x

  4. Thank you for sharing this post. I have a friend I would like to send it to but not sure if it is appropriate. I think I will just write to her and ask if she has seen your blog. I am new to blogging but loving the journey and trying to learn from others. I am located in Pennsylvania.

    Michele Somerville The Beach Girl Chronicles

    • Michele, welcome! Thank you for your kind words. Yes, sending a link to my whole blog will bring her here and she can choose what she reads. I am making gratitude much more of a person focus this year. I also have a series called Women of Courage and it’s been amazing. For your friend and yourself, at the top of my home page are some pages to click to groups of posts under certain headings. Your warm words are very kind.

      I look forward to reading your words too.
      Denyse

  5. Thanks for sharing this Denyse. Just shows there’s always something to be grateful for. You’ve also reminded me of the 1secondaday app. I downloaded the app at the end of last year but forgot about it

    • It might be hard to see it but I am so glad when we are struggling that we can if we have the tools to be grateful as Becky does.

      Yes that app is fun. I still have the cheaper version of it but have a second a day since…the day I was diagnosed with cancer in 2017.

      I hope you enjoy using it.

      Denyse x

  6. Hi Denyse, depression in all it’s forms is an ongoing battle. I live with my husband’s depression and have finally come to see that it can’t be cured, sometimes it can be managed, but there’s no magic bullet – and there are good times, bad times, frustrating times, and if you love someone you ride the waves. A catastrophe like these bushfires would put anyone to the test, but those (like Becky) with health issues (mental/physical/emotional) would be feeling the brunt of it even more. My heart goes out to her and I hope she knows that she is loved by her family and friends (like you).
    Thanks for the link up – 170 is amazing!

    • Ah Leanne, we all know someone who has depression which lingers and is treated but as you so know, it IS a day to day thing as well.

      I have experience of family members with it and it is not only sad (for them too) but there is an element in me of wanting to “make it better” even though I know I can’t.

      Thank you for sharing your experience that is a very close one.

      Take care of you too.
      Denyse x

      Yes, until I noticed where you and Sue were with your link up I realised I hadn’t kept track of mine and now I am adding the info to each link up week. Thank you

  7. As Becky says even in the most challenging times, there is always something to be grateful for. I really believe that practising gratitude is so good for our mental health.

    • Yes that is true but there are some days it is almost too much of an effort to find it.

      Not many for me, but for others, I think this could be the case.

      I hope you are doing OK. Rain is good. Storms that are passing over right now, not so!

      We are OK.

      Denyse x

  8. Thank you for sharing Bekkys message. Sometimes it can be hard to focus on the good things we have in our life when life becomes overwhelming. That’s why we should always use the resources around us to talk and help us get thrugh the hard times as best as we can.

    • Thank you for your kind words which I am sure Becky will appreciate too.

      Your take on life is spot on. It sure has its ups and downs.

      Hope you are safe and sound from the changing weather today!

      Denyse x

  9. “Being depressed doesn’t make you an ungrateful pessimist anymore than having a broken leg does.” This!!! Thank you so much for sharing this Denyse. I hope the challenges for Beck become less in their intensity allowing her to feel warmth from the light filtering through the tunnel.

    Love. Xx

    • Becky is a wise woman alright. I know she will be reading comments too.

      Thank you for your kind words Sandra.

      Hope you are doing OK with all this wild & changeable weather about.

      Denyse x

  10. Hi Denyse, I remember Becky from back in the day (my early days of blogging). Thank you for sharing her message. I’m so glad she and her family are safe and that their home survived the bushfire. I can relate very much to what she says because I’ve had my share of anxiety and depression, particularly in recent years as my midlife hormones are all over the place. xoxo

    • I thought there would be some bloggers from the early days as Aussie Bloggers who would remember Becky. I even met her briefly at a Kids Business Bloggers’ Morning in Sydney way back.

      Sharing our stories with anxiety and depression is helpful rather than hiding away and being ashamed. I am so glad to share Becky’s words and hope she pops by the read the kind words of everyone.

      Hope you are not taking too much of a battering in this changing weather.

      Denyse x

  11. What an honest message from Becky and one we all need to hear. I think these types of episodes bushfires/floods/natural disasters all bring up things for many of us and make us question our life. We all need to show gratitude and your post with Becky’s heartfelt words reminds us of what’s important. I worried about sharing holiday snaps while away during the fires too. We all seem to be feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment and the ongoing political debates and awful comments don’t help. I decided to use my blog for good and share as much positivity as I can despite the various issues raging. I’m grateful to be home again and that my house was still standing, at one stage while away I really thought it wouldn’t be there when we went home. Thanks again for your linkup and for sharing gratitude. Congrats for all you do xx

    • Oh Debbie, you are not the only one wondering about the sharing. In fact, it’s been shared by a well-know blogger and now business woman that she had been criticised for sharing her annual holiday OS while the “country burned”.

      As she said, I give to so many charities and this appeal too. People do not know the hardship behind everyone’s holiday snaps…as they would not have known about yours.

      To be honest, after my temperament went down the anxiety path on the worst Saturday with temps of over 40deg I knew it was time for my sake to get off social media: especially twitter where I was so angry about PM and all he was NOT doing…I needed photos like yours and others to normalise life more.

      Thank you for your kind words and do seek counselling help and recommend it to others. This time has not treated many well, whether directly affected or not.

      Your kind comments and support are always a standout and appreciated.

      Denyse x

      • Thanks Denyse, I always love your wise and gentle words. They wrap me in a hug and for that I’m grateful x

        I agree we all need a break from social media every now and again and I am happy to hear my photos of our time away were useful in normalising things and even as a distraction at times. I know that’s how I saw it myself.

        Take care and keep doing what you’re doing to help you cope. x

  12. I am grateful that we live in such a beautiful Country. The bushfires are just so heartbreaking, but I love how we are coming together as a community 🙂

    • Yes we do appear to be doing that as a nation I agree.

      The country is resilient but there are lots of lessons in this we hope governments will remember.

      Thank you

      Denyse x

  13. Nice thoughts from Becky. Hope we all can learn to see the good and ignore the bad things.

    • In an ideal world we sure would.

      Becky is a very good photographer so I hope she gets to see some of yours too.

      Thank you.

      Denyse

  14. I started the gratitude journal a year after I battled with depression because I wanted to test it out myself. I do think it works and I do agree that while it can be hard in dark times, it’s still possible to find at least one thing to be grateful for. For me sometimes, that would be cat cuddles or a good coffee but other times, a lot bigger.

    • Thanks so much Sanch for your sharing.

      And as for a big hug at Maccas today…what are the odds?

      It gave me quite a lift too!!

      Denyse x

  15. I love the one-second-everyday app myself! I’ve been doing it for a few years now. I still occasionally miss a day, but for the most part, it’s a well-established habit now. 🙂 Thanks for sharing Becky’s wonderful perspective. May we all choose to be grateful!

    • Thank you Lisa, yes the One Second a Day is a great app. Glad we share these things across the globe.

      Gratitude is a good feeling, and to be able to find it in the ‘worst of times’ is a gift. Becky has that!

      Denyse x

  16. “What am I grateful for today?” is a good question to ask ourselves every day. I will check out Becky’s story. Thank you for the introduction.

  17. Today I am grateful for: My supportive husband, antibiotics, friends we can share our troubles with, Canberra, kangaroos and hairdressers who can fix my dodgy attempt at turning into a red head. (My redhead photos are post hairdresser …)

    Happy Lovin Life Day! See you at yours on Monday,.

    • A good start to your gratitude list. I am grateful to my husband every single day! Sorry you’ve been unwell. Let’s hope this old house of yours sells ASAP because no-one likes that extra stress.

      Take care, and thank you for being back hosting Lovin Life.

      I missed you!

      Denyse x