Friday 27th May 2022

On Being Me. #WOTY2022. 6/2022.

On Being Me. #WOTY2022. 6/2022.

Blogging friends, Debbie, Sue, Jo and Donna began a monthly link up relating to their words of the year.

From Debbie’s page: 

This year I’m joining co-hosts Donna, Jo and Sue to provide a link party for anyone who also wants to write a monthly update to help keep the focus on their WOTY. Hoping you can join in with us.

So for this month, I am here…because I NEED to share…and that’s what blogging is all about, right?

Thank you all.

Here goes.

My TWO but very small words of the year are:

Be Me.

So what? Well, as a long time….aka about most of my 72 years I have been far more of a ‘doing’ person than a ‘being’ person although I admit over the past few years I have learned how I like to be:

  • at one with myself during some art work
  • at one just with nature somewhere
  • and listening to an audio book of interest

And yet, my busy mind, along with my A type personality and leadership as a trait, I find it harder to admit that there are parts of being me I am yet to feel comfortable with.

By that I mean:

I have always lived my life until retirement using labels and titles as descriptors. Even in retirement, over the past 7 or so years, I have added titles because they are (for me) identifiers and that is very important for me.

But what is this to do with BEING me?

Quite a bit because in the past few months I have opted for the doing part of me many times over the being part of me and late in 2021 it became messy…in fact more than that, I became unwell with something that might have been a virus, or now, as it has happened to me twice this year so far, the OLD and familiar but not welcomed Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

I am a feelings based being. I own that!

Last week I went back to Dr Claire Weekes’ work on Nervous Illness

I do talk a bit with B, and admit to myself that I struggle at times….

Is it time for Me to own up to Being Me Now?

YES.

But it is a bit hard. However, I am aware of the kindness of others and remember this day well..when Trent Dalton told me he thought I was kind!

I am listening to an audiobook right now that is the clearest message I have ever taken on board about ageing, and the years I am already in, and on making changes in my life that no longer serve me into my 70s.

I can say it’s helped me enormously as I identified with much I heard yesterday and have now bought the e-book so I can understand and re-visit the points so well made.

It’s not often that something helps with immediacy but this time it did.

I am going to share in a post in 2 weeks on a Monday what has changed for ME and my life going forward….

But for now,

I am still that very messy work-in-progress we all know we have inside. This time, though I am greeting myself withe messages based on self-compassion. I am almost at the end of a 28 day program which had me consider my own levels of compassion towards others versus towards myself.

Quite a difference, but very enlightening.

And I will be writing in particular about reality checks of ageing.  From MY perspective and what I am learning from others.

In fact, it’s made me consider moving past the familiar labels to BE

a later life blogger who writes about ageing and her reality of ageing.

Thank you for your first link up Deb, Sue, Jo and Donna.

I will see you again if my posts fit the bill.

I hope to see you on Monday if you want to link up for Life This Week.

Warm wishes,

Denyse.

 

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Comments

  1. Thanks for joining in Denyse, it’s always great to have your wisdom and honesty. Life is challenging and as you have always been a do-er, I can imagine it can be hard to move away from that and just Be you. I like the sound of the book you mention and am glad it has helped in such a short time. We all learn from each. other so your reflective post is most pertinent for the monthly linkup and I’m so glad you shared with us. Take care xx

    • The beauty of blogging is when you NEED to share a post you can, and then double bonus if there is a link up.

      Thanks so much Debbie. It helped me to write this today and will help me frame what I want to share in the future re the new direction I need to consider and then take.

      Been a big day in its own way giving my thoughts some words.

      A lovely link up you and friends have launched today.

      Congratulations.

      Denyse.

  2. Hi, Denyse – Thank you so much for joining us. I totally get the whole busy-mind, A-type personality thing! I am delighted to hear that you are focusing on moving past labels and just ‘being’. I greatly look forward to following along with you on where this focus word leads you.

    • Ah thank YOU Donna for getting where I am coming from. Gosh it can be unsettling when change is happening and I recognise now I do have to make things work..(not work, as in work!) for my time ahead.

      Initially I had thought I wouldn’t link up as I am reviewing end of calendar months on my link up, and then today “meant to be!”.

      Congratulations on your shared link up with friends.

      Denyse.

  3. Woo! Hoo! You joined in Denyse and it is so lovely to have you join us for the very first 2022 Word of the Year Link Party. ‘Being Me’ are two words that pack a powerful punch and if we are all honest they are difficult to live up to. We are very much alike and I find it difficult to ‘just be’ because I am a driven person with a busy mind. I can see you changing and it’s good to peel off the labels that life has given us, isn’t it? Take care and hope you feel better soon. xx

    • Thanks so much for your warm welcome and I appreciate your kind words and support always, Sue.

      My health, right now, has been something I know I had better take more notice, and I am doing that for myself now. Interesting process in itself…to sit with it and notice what’s been going on!!

      I am some years ahead of you chronological age wise and it still amazes me that I “think” I am much younger on some occasions. Then I take stock and realise that age has taken me down a new and not as familiar path.

      Yes it’s been good to learn more and I will keep on adding to my knowledge base and see what comes of it for me via a blog post….

      The new link up is a good plan…I will see how I go to link up each time…

      Denyse.

  4. Hi Denyse. I love your honesty and your introspection. I think we are in a similar place but it’s all a jumble in my head at the moment. I haven’t quite got all those thoughts sorted out. I’m pleased you found a book that helps. I agree with Trent Dalton that j you are very kind.

    • Oh Jennifer, I was thinking Trent was kind in helping me love his book so much…I guess kindness IS in the moment and the perspective.

      Thanks so much for your kind words.

      I am pretty sure chronological age and life has a lot to do with both my thinking and yours. It was this person’s book, (she was born in 1949 as I was) and held so many thoughts and ideas that helped me see a bit more clearly that I CAN be prepared to leave some of my life with titles behind.

      I will probably need to blog more about this after the post I have planned in 2 weeks.

      Warm wishes
      Denyse

  5. I love how you blog from your perspective Denyse. We have so many labels – both self administered and inherited – and the idea of removing them is a toughie. When we think about who we are we think about what we do…a fine but important difference. Thanks for linking up with us and hope to see you again next month.

    • Thanks for encapsulating so well what I meant within my post Jo. I really appreciate that.

      Interestingly one of the notions the author of the book I am reading/listening to is that we RETIRE the roles/hats we wear….

      And I liked that as an analogy.

      I also must be careful, for my sake, not to do all at once. I will be thinking about the how and what…but I like so much that I can finally say, I am pretty sure I am ready.

      That in itself feels great.

      I do think, now I have written this post, I can see my way to updating through your link up too.

      Thanks to you all…great idea.

      Denyse.

  6. I was just reading another blog post tonight about how we are not kind to ourselves and are much harsher judges than we are to others. It is so hard to let go — let go of doing and striving and being busy. I wear a lot of the same labels as you and to just “be” is super hard. Not tying it into doing. But sometimes we have to step back and see the bigger picture. Right now I have stepped into the role of full time grandparenting a an almost 5 and almost 3 while helping our daughter get back on her feet after a mental health crisis and her marriage breakdown. So it’s a lot and I have to remember I can’t “do it all”. I can only carry my load and be responsible for my choices. Good luck to you. I would be interested to know the name of the book you are listening to. Bernie

    • Oh Bernie, my heart goes out to you. I hope that over time your daughter’s health improves and she can be Mum again..but I also understand that our roles as parents to our adult kids is a tightrope too. What a kindly and loving person you are. I know you could say “what else could I do?” and we would do something similar but not everyone does.

      I am learning so much about what I have held onto and why…because “without them, who would I be?”

      Yet, I also know that parts of me are very ready to retire these roles…

      The book is by Dr Connie Zweig. It’s a longish title The Inner Work of Age: Shifting From Role to Soul and I admit some part are not always something I might go along with but I appreciate the sentiments and knowledge so I will keep on listening and learning.

      I hope to post more about it in 2 weeks from next Monday.

      Thank you for visiting and sharing.

      Take care,

      Denyse.

  7. What you say about titles as identifiers is very interesting. It’s so easy to identify ourselves with what we do, and get lost when titles change, or are taken away.
    That new book sounds perfect! It’s wonderful to find a book that “clicks” with you like that. I look forward to reading more about it, and to follow you as you move forward with “be me”.

    Those four points from Claire Weeke really resonated with me. It’s possible I’ll copy them and keep them reminders, because I think they can be good points to use in my own work with my word of the year, calm.

    • Thanks so much for your kind words and alignment with what I am trying to articulate Susanne.

      I admit I had forgotten the Dr Claire Weekes’ book (and her words) until some of the anxiety in me grew and of course, I couldn’t get rid of it but had to follow these wise woman’s words. She herself wrote the book after her own very long entanglement with mental health. Nothing more helpful than something by someone who knows…and had the medical knowledge too.

      I too am interested in how my new-to-me approach to ageing will unfold as I continue to learn more.

      Great hearing from you as always.

      Denyse.

  8. “Me” is perfect for you, Denyse! As women, we often find ourselves doing for others and losing “me” in the process. I chose walk which I just shared on Sunday Stills today. Great to interact with you, my friend, and continue to focus on YOU! Hope to see you at Sunday Stills again some day soon. Take good care.

    • Thank you so much Terri. I like that you too “get it”.

      I am doing my best to learn more about how “I” can be my focus, and it’s a tough one when we have been sharers, givers and all that entails for our adult lives.

      “Never say never” re Sunday Stills and me dear Terri.

      Take care,

      Denyse.

  9. Being me…that’s at the crux of it all, isn’t Denyse? You are doing important inner work this year with that WOTY. I look forward to hearing how you incorporate that into your life. I chose the word CONNECTED, and a part of that is being connected to my authentic self, which for me, is another way of saying “be me.” We’re in this together!

    • I love that because, yes “we are in this together,” Christie.

      I love your word too as I have always wanted to stay and be connected to others here, and out in the world around me.

      Choosing ‘me’ was for someone who has usually put everyone else first, a truly kind and loving act and I intend to remember how to integrate this into my life going forward.

      I suspect there will be more posts too!

      Thanks for coming by,

      Denyse.