Wednesday 10th August 2022

Being Me: The Month That Was July 2022. 49/2022.

Being Me: The Month That Was July 2022. 49/2022.

It’s my time to share how my Word of The Year is working out for me via the  post to this link up run by Deb, Sue,  Donna and  Jo too.

Being Me: July 2022.

I have already shared here that we are planning a move back ‘home’ to Sydney in early 2023 and plans for that are taking off in many ways!

I have recently celebrated my 5 years since my first major surgery removing cancer from my upper mouth and wrote about it here.

And, July is one big important month for head and neck cancer and that too has been shared here.

From my World Head and Neck Cancer Day update: a photo marking my 6th #WHNCD!

So, that’s it.

Being Me

….oh wait! There IS more to keeping me “being” each day!

Daily Calm mornings and a mediation each evening is non-negotiable!

Self Compassion via the program I began in January is my evening way of remembering gratitude and more

As is daily reflections, diary entries in my Day One on-line journal

And it is SO good for me to reflect. In fact, what I notice these days is that I do much less rumination and I am also far better at bringing myself back from too much future thinking.

I have become a more heart (and gut) centred human over the past 6 months…

Rain.

So much. It directly affected us slightly here. We did not go out unless absolutely having to. Roads have been incredibly damaged via 4 major flood/rain events here in N.S.W. so I learned to BE ME without going out…and I had plenty of practice from last year’s covid lockdown.

I did get here but the same day, the road to it was flooded. No access to the sand either.

Getting to my psychologist where I wrapped up my sessions. I hadn’t had a need to see her other than two visits and it was good to say thank you to her and for my ways of self-managing to be affirmed. I actually helped her with something too. I liked that.

Sun’s out. Wyong River, still in flood, after seeing the psychologist.

Morning Tea Treats.

As a long time emotional eater…or covering up emotions I couldn’t express (anger was not permitted…) I often chose to calm with food. And that was OK too but since head and neck cancer (and feeling OK these days) I am limited in quantities and types of food.

How to ‘be me’ without getting old stories from diet land and parents’ words??

Do IT!

When I go out now a few times a week I have an inexpensive (relatively) morning tea of a strong (very) small latte & half an iced donut. The top part of course. I also use my alone time BEING me to write in my note book and people watch. It’s a lovely way to help me restore my soul. And I eat with difficulty so it’s also me not being in company!!

Appreciating Where We Live Now.

Since deciding to become city-dwellers again, I have a new way of looking at, and experiencing where we live now. Making memories has become more important to me…and I like that.

Health Update.

Still having my surgery in August, and I have some blood tests coming up for that and a pre admission check the week before over the phone. I know I will find it a challenge being in hospital recovering from major surgery over a weekend…surgery is Thursday…but am preparing myself psychologically….and with ipad, iphone, drawing items and so on. And as it is a long recovery at home…doing a bit of cooking for the freezer right now.

As I come out of the head and  neck cancer surveillance regime, once October comes, I will still be checked each 6 months or so at Westmead by my prosthodontist. Good news is next year, living in western Sydney, the travel time will be much less.

B and I are protected with all the possible vaccines and wearing masks anywhere indoors, out of the house. Almost all of our family (living in Sydney) have had covid. We are fingers crossed to miss it.

We did enjoy a special morning tea out recently and that’s the limit for us!

 

Some Snaps Of July Life….

Saw Dad. He Was In Good Form.

 

My Index Cards. Last time for this.

 

Remember !!

 

Where To Next?

  • we are downsizing in 2023 and now plan to move to an apartment somewhere (not in a retirement village) in the Hills District of Sydney.
  • we are doing a LOT of culling, de-cluttering and more to enable this to happen…and this is a good thing
  • much has been donated already to local charities
  • a charity is coming to collect much of our home office furniture
  • our son is taking quite a bit for his place
  • the rocking horse is staying in the family – at my daughter’s
  • we’ve sent packages of B’s texts to friends whose work is in mental health
  • and we are very grateful for Facebook marketplace: I had never used it, and whilst we sold items (a large garden storage box, a bar fridge) for very little, they have gone to people who needed them
  • my husband is no longer going to need to use a workshop so there will be some selling and donations happening there
  • we are checking out the internet rentals (ok, mostly me) to try to see what would work for us…and enjoying the process
  • we feel very comfortable with the decisions made to date as we are ageing physically and need to take that into account

Watch this space?!

Not really. Until we are into the new year we cannot look at anything seriously but we will continue to hone what will be kept and what will go. It is a challenge …we have already done so much (we thought) but no, not as much as we might have hoped when I ask B “so, you put this stuff in this box at Glenwood??” Um, dear reader, not even opened after 8 years and full of all stuff that could have been thrown out…and now has been….

A little find for the good. Found a DVD where some of our very early years of marriage captured on Super 8  had been copied. I was able to get it onto this computer and then do some screen shots. So cool. And great memories.

January 1972 at my parents’ house with now (almost) 51 yo daughter…

We were off to a christening..not hers, proud Dad holding his daughter.

Bye For Now.

I have to say, with the blog posts about head and neck cancer and keeping up with some other aspects of my social media accounts, I am needing yo  give myself a month or more off.

On 11 August I will be having surgery and as I will be gearing up for that beforehand and then recovering for up to 6 weeks, I will take time out.

I know you will all understand.

This is good self care!

Thinking of you all, and wishing you well over the coming weeks.

I will be keeping up with the blog link up here today and checking out others’ posts, of course!

Denyse.

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. I have been AWOL for a bit so only just catching up on the news that you’re planning to head back to Sydney. I can definitely understand that. I ponder my life here sometimes and wonder – if it wasn’t for mum – if there was much point in staying.

    I don’t want to return to the city though. And of course am here while mum’s here.

    • Denyse Whelan says:

      Glad you have now caught up a bit Deb. To be honest, it was a bit more sudden than maybe I ever considered but when it happened and both of us were in agreement about ‘downsizing’ and moving back to Sydney it all made sense.

      In your case, what happens will happen in whatever time frame there could be, and then you might make a choice that you may not have even considered.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Denyse,

  2. Hi, Denyse – That Super 8 find was a real treasure. Thank you for sharing it with us. I wholeheartedly agree that giving ourselves time off when we need it is so important. We will all absolutely understand and we will be here when you are back!

    • Denyse Whelan says:

      Thanks Donna for your good wishes.

      The super 8 little movies and stills brought back a flood of “good” memories too.

      I have printed off some stills and sent them to my daughter (that baby!) for her 51st birthday next week.

      Thanks for the link up.

      Denyse.

  3. Hi Denyse you’re self care and self management regime truly does amaze me. You are so focused and consistent. It seems we are on a similar trajectory with down sizing. We have been giving away, donating and selling for weeks now. It does bring up lots of unexpected feelings. Good luck with your surgery and I hope you recover well

    • Denyse Whelan says:

      Thank Jen, I need to have it in front of my mind to self-care because I could ‘easily’ return to the old and negative thought patterns. I still do when I feel a bit overwhelmed and tired. In fact today its back a bit because of a few things going on at once. At least I recognised this and can self manage.

      Yes, lots of memories with the selling/donating. We sent two big boxes of psychology and counselling books to a young friend (from blogging days way back) who works in mental health now as a nurse and she was so chuffed to get them and now they will be used for her and her clients. Passing on feels good!

      Take care of yourself too as you are readying to move on.

      Denyse.

  4. Hi Denyse – so much is going to be happening in your world over the next few months as you have your surgery and continue preparing for your move. I think it’s wise to step back from the blog for a while if it’s going to be an added strain. We’ll all look forward to you reappearing again – refreshed and full of new stories to share. I hope the op goes well and your recovery is swift and easy. xx

    • Denyse Whelan says:

      Thanks Leanne, I know it’s a lot happening and to reduce any kind of ‘pressure’ on me (by me!) I am having the month off the blog, so to speak.

      I am at that almost ‘pointy’ end of getting mentally ready for this surgery (it’s Thursday week) and whilst I know its necessary (as you do for your hip) it would be nice to avoid it…but that’s not going to help me long term, so I am using some self-talk that is compassionate.

      Tomorrow I drive to Sydney to see Dad and take him some meals and don’t know when I will be up for driving again, so doing my best to keep him ‘fed’ even though I am not the only source while I can.

      I will be on social media of course and catching up with friends like you as I can.

      Take care,

      Denyse.

  5. HI Denyse, wow lots happening in your world but I’m pleased to hear you are downsizing and will be closer to family next year. I didn’t realise you were having surgery so I’m sending love and best wishes to you. Take care, enjoy your break and we will see you when you return. xx

    • Denyse Whelan says:

      Yes, I think we could almost say SNAP Sue.

      I did mention the surgery some time back but it was likely buried on a lot of text….and you have been a busy woman off line! It’s a female one (yet another) and I am hoping for improved quality of life.

      For us as downsizers, we will leave one rental for another and it’s interesting to say the least to be looking at the smaller sized apartments which we know that we will need and can afford.

      It has been a very necessary thing (downsizing and decluttering), as despite having had 3 house moves, since 2015 there is still ‘too much stuff’.

      Wishing you well as your move happens. I think once it’s all settled we will both be happier to be where we know and closer to family and the familiar.

      Take care,

      Denyse,

  6. A very fulsome update on your WOTY Denyse and I wish you well with your surgery and your downsizing. It’s vital we look after ourselves and you are always on top of this aspect of self care, you are mindful and consistent with your approach, which obviously works well for you. So much has been happening in your life and still more going on, I do hope you enjoy a break from blogging and look forward to when you return. Take care xx

    PS those old movies were a fabulous find!!

    • Denyse Whelan says:

      Thanks Deb, each time I do one of these reviews I think “Oh I don’t think there is much to write about” and it turns out there is.

      Love seeing the images and words coming from your side of the world wrapped in grandchild and family love.

      It’s very joyful to see.

      Movies, they bring you back to a time you thought you had forgotten. Today, as I found a CD with a movie of me singing Wiggles songs to a then under 2 Hugo, dressed in Wiggles PJs, I am immediately transported back to our Glenwood house circa 2009 which was always grandchild-central.

      You will love the many memories you are making for years to come.

      Take care,

      Denyse.

  7. Wishing you all the best with your surgery and a speedy recovery. You certainly have a lot on your plate but it sounds like you are working hard to take care of yourself through reducing your commitments. I loved your super 8 photos – such beautiful memories! Take care x

    • Denyse Whelan says:

      Thank you kindly Janine, I have had quite a bit of “experience” with surgeries since 2017 and whilst I “know” what the outcome is for me in terms of being patient in recovery, I also know it can be annoying! Hence I am being proactive already.

      I have to be better at self care (and compassion) these days as my usual habit was self criticism…I am much better at letting myself go more gently as I age. That’s a good thing!

      Take care,
      Denyse

  8. Hi Denyse, great to catch up on your news. I think I’ve missed something though because I’m not sure what your surgery is that you’re having in August? I hope all goes well and you recover quickly. I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping up with all things in the blogosphere lately since I spend half my life at Mum’s and have had quite a few medical appts to get to when I’m home plus trying to catch up on the jobs at home. Stay safe & well! xo

  9. I’m so late in getting to comments this week! Apologies… When we packed up in Sydney I reckon we decluttered for about 3 months. I found boxes in the garage we’d never unpacked from the previous move – 18 years before (and Grant still wondered whether they needed to be thrown… hmmmm). It’s a big job but one you’ll be rewarded for at the other end. All the very best for your surgery and your recovery afterwards. Take care, take the time you need… sending virtual messages of healing.

    • No worries, Jo. I did have a smile when I read that about Grant and unpacked boxes!!

      Yes we are doing what we can…and we already know an apartment will be smaller but it is what we both want, so it is onward and all that.

      Thanks so much for your kind wishes and for the link up.

      Enjoying your morning beach pics!

      Denyse.

  10. Nice work on being you, Denyse. You are always an inspiration to me. Good luck with your surgery and enjoy your break from blogging. I’ll be thinking of you and sending love and healing thoughts. Take care!

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