Thursday 30th June 2022

Healing Me: My Personal Growth Story Over 5 Years. 42/2022.

Healing Me: My Personal Growth Story Over 5 Years. 42/2022.

Over the course of my oral cancer diagnosis (May 2017), first big surgery to remove the cancer and reconstruct my mouth (July 2017)   along with further surgeries in 2017 & 2018, and MANY visits to the prosthodontist, I have needed to grow in terms of my ability to withstand what was happening to me, and to find ways in which to manage, soothe, heal and be present for whatever came up. Link to my stories here.

This was not, as still is not, always easy but the many skills I have practised via meditation from Calm, becoming mindful far more often, and being present rather than future focussed (worry) or past focus (ruminating) helped.

I was also given advice from my dear husband even before cancer was diagnosed in May 2017, that I might be better helping my emotional health by having a daily routine.

No longer working and finding the transition to a retired life in a new place to us did not sit well with me, and I have written of this before. So I did, and still do follow for me a loose daily routine. Dressing with purpose, going out somewhere if I can for a coffee, noticing nature, blogging, engaging on social media and connecting in conversation with my husband.

In commemorating the 5 years of managing myself physically and emotionally, I have made some collages and little stories attached to what help me heal and grow as a person.

I am very grateful for all of the knowledge, and skills I have embedded and I continue to learn more as a life time learner.

Places.

The beaches near where we live. Lakes Beach is more accessible for walking and often has a dramatic surf, Soldiers Beach has suffered from recent erosion and is now harder to access but has amazing views from the carpark and I also swam/walked there last year and earlier this year.

The lakes system. This northern end of the NSW Central Coast has a series of lakes which are named more for the area in which they are located. I visit Wallarah Peace Park at Gorokan, Osborne Park at Toukley and parts of Budgewoi, including MacKenzie Reserve where the wonderful and photogenic pedestrian bridge is.

Wallarah Peace Park. Gorokan. A favourite place for reflection since late 2015.

The River System.

Wyong River. From early on in my cancer recovery, I began visiting my friend Randa’s coffee shop at Wyong for a chat and coffee each Sunday. It helped break up a big week in many ways. And after that I would visit the river somewhere along the way to stop, watch and note its changes. Porters Creek Bridge was/is a special place for me.

Noticing Nature:

Everywhere I went!

from trees to plants and even animals in the fields….

Before cancer, there were often places of reflection and using mindfulness to be more present. After cancer they served me well as familiar touch stones. We may be headed back to Sydney’s northwest, but the memories of here will hold me in good stead.

I also have great connections to the places such as Rouse Hill Town Centre, which I saw built and visited many times until 2015.

Now, the growth of nature there is so beautiful, and I am looking forward to the best connections of all…people…when I return. I already have one friend meeting me for coffee there in 2023!!

And of course..nothing better than to be able to connect with our family with greater ease and less distance to travel too.

And I am quite expecting  that this ‘back to’ will also be a transition too. I sure know that for myself. The past few weeks have been about preparing for some downsizing of donating furniture and giving other items away too. It’s ALL GOOD as they say!!

I am very grateful to have put in many of the experiences into my life to help me manage life as someone with cancer, then after having cancer removed…and making changes to my life going forward…aged 67 to 72.

I hope my story is of interest and that you too may have places that you find help you too.

 

Denyse.

 

Joining in with Natalie for Weekend Coffee Share over the weekend. (Publishing before then, on Wednesday 29 June 2022.)

Thank you Natalie.

https://natalietheexplorer.home.blog/

 

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Dear 2015 & Beyond D….Love From 2022 Me. 36/2022.

Dear 2015 & beyond D….Love From 2022 Me. 36/2022.

 

Blogging has given me the chance to share some of my life’s story to date in the form of Telling My Story (my memoir, found here) and Head and Neck Cancer ( my story, found here) and as my link up called Life’s Stories draws to a close, I thought I would give myself a timely reminder of

all

that

I

have

learned

since

2015

about

me….

and life!

Dear D,

2015

You did it. You made the physical move from Sydney to the Coast, as planned after selling the Sydney house.

It would feel ok but also very strange at times.

One such time, was on the day of moving when you realised as you crossed the Hawkesbury River, that you were headed NORTH to home, not back home to Sydney in the south.

You made use of the new area for take photos, find beaches and return to Sydney as “grandma” when you were asked for school assemblies, care and on one very special occasion, meet the youngest granddaughter on her birthday.

You were torn inside a lot, in fact it played havoc with your gut so that you had many I.B.S. incidents which did not help your confidence at all. In fact, the stress grew in you so much, you stopped a lot of what you thought you could continue. You let go of any remnants of your last work life. That in itself brought more grief.

You did make one promise to yourself and kept it. You would blog daily no matter what and that continued for the next 2 years or more.

Life was full of very mixed emotions. And sadly, you did not accept them well, because to be honest, it would not be till 2016 that a psychologist would help you understand that feelings take a lot longer to catch up to actions.

Doing my best to ‘look’ OK but feeling anxious

2016

You loved your blog and it did give you a feeling of connectedness when there was no-one you knew in your new area. That was true. The blog got revamped thanks to Tanya & by September you had your link up called Life This Week start every Monday!

Your body was changing. From the very overweight one to a trimming down one but that was coming from the stress and concern about your anxiety AND I.B.S. As someone who FEELS so much, it was also very hard to absorb family issues and many challenges where you could do NOTHING about them.

You didn’t mind that you were no longer so overweight but you also did not feel well and that took any shine off  ‘wanting to look good’.

Despite learning so much through reading, meditating, art, getting into nature, you were still stuck somewhat and unsure of what it was about.

Your mouth’s soreness increased and you would need to find a decent dentist, after the last one in 2015 was like the others, telling you that not cleaning properly was part of the problem. Dear Reader: it WAS NOT. See 2017.

To Terrigal to see A.N.Z.A.C. display

2017.

Again issues within the family that you could do nothing about were very hard on your emotional health. Very.

It was getting worse for you. I know. Nothing seemed to get better, in fact despite all the medical and psychological help, and a kind listener in B, things went downhill stress wise…until

You could stand it no longer, and it was TIME for that mouth and its issues to be examined and in April that year you were so brave, using all your exposure therapy learning. You had the upper teeth and bridge removed. And then waited for healing of the gums that did not come.

And when you got the diagnosis of a cancer in your gums and lip, you were able to deal with SO much….despite the fear…and get on with things!

Family began to reconnect and it was likely that your cancer diagnosis helped with that and slowly, as with your recovery in the rest of 2017, things settled.

Your very much slimmed down body (hello, IBS and then oral cancer) became a great distraction and you re-discovered a love of clothes, colour and having photos of yourself taken that had probably last been seen in your 20s!

The blog continued but you stopped the daily posts as that was no longer practical. However your link up flourished and you found new bloggers and communities there too.

First haircut in 8 weeks and wearing a bright new colour

2018.

Having moved twice in the 3 years, you were very pleased to find a modern house and make that rental place for home…for then and now (2022) as it happens.

Your mouth needed two more surgeries and LOTS of patience (which you found mostly via gratitude) to wait for “teeth” for 14 months.

But your love of a coffee each day and somewhere to go and sit, after a photo of the day helped pass that time. You found solace in art and creativity.

Meanwhile, family life  back in Sydney kept on going of course, but the longer we had been away, we all found it somewhat easier to be feeling settled here.

You got disappointed from time to time that family did not visit but with heavy workloads and other commitments that was hard for them.

So, you accepted much of that, and turned your attention on your Dad, as he aged, visiting him more frequently, AND forming a more relaxed and adult relationship with him.

Your head and neck cancer story was shared with some places on line and you were invited to become an Ambassador for a head and neck charity.

You reached out to friends who might meet you for a coffee and your time on the coast was more relaxed.

Social media was a good friend (still is) as is the blogging community which would sustain you for years to come. And you shared stories on others’ blogs too.

And via a social media conversation, you ended up getting the farewell from NSW Dept of Education you should have had back in 2003.

You and B hosted family Christmas — first time since we lived in Sydney.

21 August: from no smile to smile.

2019.

You dealt with quite a few health challenges in 2019 but not yours. So, you were able to be more helpful and understanding of your dear husband on a couple of occasions.

You became far too concerned about the weight (healthy!) increase…vanity, thy name is Denyse!!

You have, by 2022 improved big time. ‘Nuff said!

We both turned 70.

You wanted, and got a wonderful celebration and are very grateful to have had those memories.

We planned to see our family in Sydney at Christmas but had to go solo as B was not well. Fortunately his health improved.

Late 2019: Ambassador.

2020.

None of us knew, of course what lay ahead in early 2020 when we got news of a ‘China’ virus.

You needed an eye check and had to get it in Sydney, where you saw your family for lunch at the shops you used to frequent when living in Sydney. Weird wasn’t it, to find your way around again!

Needing cataract surgery, that would come in March, over 3 days, just as Covid dramas and restrictions began.

But before that you appeared in a video for head and neck cancer…and you were the guest speaker at a fund raiser.

You would not have guessed about these back in 2015 would you!!

Covid did change so much, and you know that.

You and B got the vaccine. And fingers crossed now, so far have its eluded you.

You did need more surgery, one you had put off for ages but once it was done…and it worked, YOU were pleased, right?

Yes.

The rules and routines around covid were OK (ish) and you and B were your sensible selves.

Blogging was changing but you continued and did your best to showcase the various series including Women of Courage.

You decided if you couldn’t see the grandkids, you could send them little boxes of fun and treats.

Christmas? Just us, at home, after Sydney had quite a large covid outbreak.

Beach walks sustain me

2021.

More of what was almost familiar happened. But in-person anything was missed by you if it involved family.

You were OK about Covid but sometimes the social media about was very vocal and you needed to come away from it for a while.

You blogged. But your enthusiasm was waning but you did not want to stop either.

Your blogging communities were changing for sure. But you were (and are) a loyal blogger and supported others’ link ups too when you could.

In between Covid restrictions, you drove to the beach (to see the sea) and did not miss the city at all but you missed family.

You shared special birthdays via Zoom, sadly not a great compensation at all.

You cooked and sent treats to your 50 year old daughter. They were MUCH appreciated. She was teaching remotely, overseeing a grade and helping her youngest through on-line teaching.

You slowed down. You might not have realised you needed to but by the end of the year, your I.B.S. (or something like it) returned and it appeared, Dear D, that you were OVER doing things.

So, you slowed right down and took the change into early 2022 to review how you wanted your 72 year old life to be like in retirement.

My word for 2021….

2022.

You had a quiet January and reflected on a LOT.

You actually enjoyed the slower pace and your physical health improved too.

You learned to please yourself before anyone else.

Who knew?

You listened to your heart more than your head.

In fact, a ‘gut feeling’ really is true, you found!

Blogging lost some of its appeal for you. You felt like you had written and shared all you wanted to…but yet,

You would eventually close down the link up that lasted almost 6 years but you are keeping the blog open for reasons like NOW…when YOU have something to share!!

(NB: 2nd last link up Mon 6 June, and last one, 20 June. See you there?)

And on June 2022 you went to your fave place to give thanks for all your life’s changes that have helped heal you.

It was cold but hey, smile was there, as you were wrapped up in your new warm jacket.

So, continue to go well…

Lots of love,

Me.

P.S. Have you ever written a letter to yourself?

 

Joining in with Natalie for Weekend Coffee Share later this week.

Thank you Natalie.

https://natalietheexplorer.home.blog/

 

 

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What Am I Reading/Listening To For ‘What’s On My Bookshelf’ May 2022? 33/2022.

What Am I Reading/Listening To For ‘What’s On My Bookshelf’ May 2022? 33/2022

 “What’s On Your Bookshelf?”

Thanks to Jo, Deb, Sue and Donna who host this.

What Am I Reading/Listening To Lately?

Quite a mix but then again on careful analysis, the topics and themes of my reading/listening are quite similar.

I am curious about life and its many challenges, how we age and human behaviour generally, so this is my update.

And this time round, I have included links to podcasts that are related to the books as they have been an integral part of my experience.

My reading/listening habits:

  • every day some listening is in the car thanks to Audible and any CDs I have for a book
  • every day, usually in the time between evening meal and doing to bed, I put on a podcast as I create something art-wise
  • every night, at the end of my TV/Netflix/DVD viewing or social media, I take a page or three and read it from one the books here beside my bed.
  • Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chodron is SUCH a challenge but I am really softening in my acceptance and understanding. With 108 (same numbers as on a counting necklace or string in some buddhist traditions) there are 1-2 pages of tightly but well said words to challenge and take in. I first read this BEFORE my cancer diagnosis in 2017 and struggled but now, some 5 years on, coupled with my own practices, I am better attuned to the teachings.
  • Trusting the Gold by Tara Brach is a dip in and dip out little book of wisdom gleaned from her life experiences. She tells of all her perceived human failings and understanding in a self deprecating way but with self compassion. Tara’s voice is a favourite of mine from her other books which of course I have! And she is now hosting some meditations and sleep stories on Calm.

I like variety and that I can choose!

Atlas of the Heart. Brene Brown.

Atlas of the Heart.

Well..here’s the thing, I have the book, I have the Audible version and I have listened to podcasts with Brene Brown and others.

I am overwhelmed .

I thought I could tandem read and listen.

No. I thought I could just listen…not really. I think it’s partly to do with how HUGE this content is and it would be Brene herself who would admit to it.

I have become a Binge (pay tv) subscriber just to watch the series she made for US on HBO. So far, one episode in, and she is in teaching mode with an audience and I like it a lot.

I now feel over time, it will be more like a dip in and out of experience for me..and the book is freaking heavy to hold!!

Oprah’s SuperSoul:

Atlas of the Heart with Brene Brown

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0tc4spLul60Bh1eTtXOe2W?si=2L7Z7yguSiSglUlYdUIInA

Watching in Australia:

https://binge.com.au/shows/show-brene-brown-atlas-of-the-heart!14634

 

The Space Between The Stars by Indira Naidoo.

I enjoyed this book but it was not a huge new life lesson for me. The story, told eloquently by Indira, a well-known ABC Australia figure, as part love story to her sister and family, and how nature, particularly one tree in Sydney’s Botanic Gardens helped her immensely, was a light read in many ways with some great lessons for love, dying and appreciation of the green, nature and trees all around us. I admit, I saw trees differently after starting the book.

 

With The End in Mind and Listen by Dr Kathryn Mannix.

I freely admit it, I am a huge fan of Dr Mannix’s work. We have connected via social media too. Her work history as a doctor in the UK, eventually took her down the career path into palliative care and following her retirement she went onto help more people.  Now in a career helping train others and be a counsellor in CBT: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, she IS the doctor I would love caring for me or a family member.

Whilst that cannot happen, her words, so generously share on this podcast as great indicators that the world of those who are facing end of life, and death are being cared for much better as a result of this person’s work and that of many. In no way is this work done, but the conversations (Listen is an EXCELLENT book for any challenging conversation, not all about death/sickness)

I started with these books on Audible and now have the actual copies to refer to (see my ‘post its’ and book mark! Dr Kathryn Mannix is on Facebook too.

In finding her on this podcast (highly recommend it too) I have added links to both of her chats with Andrew G Marshall.

The Meaningful Life Podcast. Andrew G Marshall

Dr Kathryn Mannix with Andrew G Marshall

With the End In Mind

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1DYFG8fc9u0RgLh6n34OV7?si=cf53d51198c644f4

The Meaningful Life

Dr Kathryn Mannix with Andrew G Marshall

Listen

https://open.spotify.com/episode/29ichQxYdBvDZt4r3M1jfj?si=78fec487852240ab

 

 

The Inner Work of Age. Shifting from Role to Soul. Dr Connie Zweig.

Now, regular readers know I am doing what I can to learn more about ageing…for me to accept the inevitabilities and to enjoy some of the riches it brings and self-discovery. I first found Dr Connie Zweig’s work by accident or maybe I was meant to…and first listened to her words via Audible. It is via a podcast with Andrew G Marshall I found her work of even greater interest and have now bought the physical book.

I will be reading it over a fairly lengthy period I think as there are activities to do to delve more deeply into the ‘inner me’. Might even be a blog post one time as well.

Role to Soul: Dr Connie Zweig with Andrew G Marshall

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5U4L77vQp5RQ6fFGwux3Ye?si=dd7025da63804196

 

Ten Steps To Nanette. Hannah Gadsby.

 

Now, I am just learning more about Hannah Gadsby through listening to her book. What a listen. And a huge number of life challenges have certainly occurred for Hannah. Rather than me share more, I have included a clip from the promotion for her show “Nanette” which is still on Netflix and explains so much about “her story” and its title. I have also included one podcast where Hannah is in conversation with Glennon Doyle.

Hannah Gadsby with Glennon Doyle

We Can Do Hard Things

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6cVlrd5mRHdx5AlFJyXRAG?si=ec00322afca64866

From Netflix:

And for this month…that’s it! Photo following is of me in front of our family room bookshelf..made by my dear husband.

What have you been reading, and/or listening to in May?

Denyse.

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Five Years Ago. My Oral Cancer. #HNC. Part 1. #LifesStories. 31/2022.

Five Years Ago. My Oral Cancer. #HNC. Part 1. #LifesStories. 31/2022.

Interestingly there are hardly any selfies or images of me from before the cancer diagnosis. In fact, until I knew I had cancer, I was taking photos of nature a lot…as I tried to make peace with my inner stress. In fact, this photo, which is not too great, was taken on the morning of what would be the day of diagnosis as I was trying to make a daily photo of autumn challenge…it did not last!

Those who have been following me and this blog for some time will recall that in May 2017 I found out I had a rare cancer in my upper gums and under the top lip. I am now referring to the cancer as oral cancer, even though it remains as part of the head and neck cancer family. The full story is here. 

I was always going to write about this time…5 years ago…and here it is in the lead up to that day in May!

The bit of history behind the story is that I had been troubled by issues relating to soreness and some swelling in this upper gums that no doctor, dentist or specialist dentist could  find a reason for…other than keep it cleaner, use this mouthwash, suck these lozenges…..

And being the obedient patient…I did. Until I could no longer keep wondering what WAS hiding under the bridge of teeth. 

2017 was the year of more stress for me…and it was compounded by the pain and appearance of extra skin over the top of the bridge. My dentist, AB, was finally convinced by me, and he agreed that the only way to find out was the extract the whole bridge and the teeth. On 6 April that occurred.

By 26 April some of my bravery returned because that was ONE big thing I had done at the dentist, and I got over my fear of driving (IBS related) on M1 and saw my Dad after 4 months. This photo is the relieved me with a still painful mouth (that temporary denture was not fun) on my way home.

The person who takes lots of selfies not did not back then. In fact, I tried as much as possible to distract myself from worsening pain, gums growing and a general horrible feeling in my mouth until…

I couldn’t be distracted any longer and AB was seeing me after he’d been on holidays. But first, a visit to the regular  GP on 10 May who, after going through a few other health matters with me as I was leaving her practice for the one closer to home, THREW her hands up to her face when I showed her my sore mouth and gums without the denture.

Nervous? You Bet. Why?

  • Then Doctor, CS, who raise her hands in horror on Wednesday 10 May  and go “What…” and immediately tries, without success, to reassure you… “get to the dentist tomorrow as planned…and here’s form for CT of your sinuses….”
  • Dentist, AB, with whom I have a great relationship and joke a bit, says, seriously,   on Thursday 11 May “You need a biopsy of this from S. I already know that S is the Oral Surgeon, literally 10 paces back down the path from the dentist.

“right”, I say, with lots of questions but I hesitate to ask them…from my diary notes that day….

“Mouth – gums – inflamed & pretty puzzling to him . Going ahead with tests ordered. By Dr C – X-ray & CT (looking for cancer) 😧He mentioned HPV – what warts come from.. low immune system – maybe as I’ve been so stressed. Need a biopsy/ great not!
He said sockets are healing ok but slowly. Will see him after biopsy – which I have to organise.. he spoke of future might have to go to Westmead & I’m resistant”

  • Oral Surgeon. I meet SC on that Thursday straight after seeing AB…and she is very friendly and says, let’s do this tomorrow morning. OK…I say, but inside already feeling the stress of the tests at the X ray and CT place that will be in the afternoon.

But I Needed To See my “now” G.P. who’d been seeing me just on a month to de-brief…. Still “is” my GP…

Got myself quite stressed to point of tears after trying to make sense of what could be wrong with my gums so decided to see OG to catch him up due to transition from CS to him & having been to dentist AB.
He said tests are way to go & biopsy
Also said do anything different – dentist was keen for me to try more ibobrufen but that affects my gut.
He looked in my mouth & said it doesn’t seem worse than last week
He wasn’t convinced re HPV.
Couldn’t rule out cancer but getting tests essential & biopsy.
Once biopsy done & results in – consult with him & dentist.
He was kindly but couldn’t do much more do reassure other than I’m taking all steps he would suggest
Pretty stressed with it & so over it…

The thing is I had been putting up with much of this for 5 weeks after extraction and for months before that when no-one could give me answers.

 

Friday 12 May. How I Managed

….thanks to encouraging husband, who had to do his volunteer work for cancer council that day, my exposure therapy techniques, 1/4 valium, Immodium and sheer courage.

  • drove myself to Ourimbah (about 20-25 minutes from home) and arrived at Oral Surgery to be welcomed kindly by SC and her nurse.
  • straight into the chair. We spoke briefly. I knew there would be a numbing injection, then the biopsy (and I had one 2 years earlier).
  • once numbed up, SC did her work and then applied dissolving stitches and I was given kind care and told the results would be seen to as an urgent one…and I would hear from her on the Monday.
  • mouth was painful but at least something was being done. Some time at home, and tears too from the sheer weight of the emotional strain and then:
  • drove myself for the CT and Xrays. These were looking for cancer in the sinuses and jaw.
  • home….evening…tired out.

Sunday 14 May: Mother’s Day 2017.

Our daughter and three granddaughters came for lunch. I put on a kind of act I guess but in the photos taken that day, I see the strain in my face. As the family was leaving I just shared with my daughter that I was waiting on test results for my mouth the next day.

Monday 15 May.

I got the blog link up sorted, and live and my post had published. We kept to our housecleaning routine…although my eyes were on the clock and when I could ring the CT/Xray place. I did and was told all good. Come and collect them. Big relief: part one. Part two occurred later that day when SC, the oral surgeon rang to discuss the preliminary findings.

I remember thinking “OK, good but what about these horrid, growing gums”. She replied that over time she could help with cutting them back. And I accepted that for then, and because only our daughter and my dad knew I had the tests, rang them with the good news.

Tuesday 16 May.

A normal day in our version of retirement. My mouth was still sore but I felt relieved. I took some photos of the flowers in the back garden. I would have been getting back to my blog post and to those who linked up. Here is that post…just for the relevance…I did not return to writing Telling My Story for another YEAR! And here’s what happened next

 

Wednesday 17 May 2017.

B went to counselling at Lifeline. I was relaxing in my chair, just finishing breakfast when I got this call from the Oral Surgeon SC, who was working in a hospital at Wagga that day. SC spoke calmly and kindly, telling me that last night she received further results and she was sorry to tell me there was squamous cell carcinoma found in the gums. My initial reaction was surprise but not shock as something HAD to be found I guess. The time was 9.25.

And after a little weep, I was able to speak to lifeline, B came home and in the meantime my organisational self shifted into gear. SC had sorted a referral for a “Dr Clark” at Chris O’Brien Lifehouse. I rang his secretary and she said “His associate can see you tomorrow afternoon”. By this time, B was home and after a long hug, we agreed sooner the better…and took up that appointment.

I rang both my dentist AB and old GP CS to share the news. They were very kind and whilst they were sorry about it, there was a sense we were on our way to getting fixed/better….

My head continued to buzz big time and I wanted to share this HUGE news with my now GP, so we had a very helpful late afternoon appointment where his reassurances of me managing the trip would be OK…with the suggested immodium and valium…and B agreeing to stop at any toilet I may need…

Photo of my art:

And that is how I found out I had this cancer. I had no idea of why (there has never been a reason) but I learned over time, not to be concerned about that, just know you have this and that there are people with awesome skills who would  help me over the next two years in particular.

From my appointment on Thursday 18th May:

This is what they saw in my mouth:

This is where B led me to, for a brief minute’s respite to gain some composure after being given the news of what lay ahead for surgery. Window from level 2, Chris O’Brien Lifehouse, where clinic rooms are. This is looking at St Andrew’s College in Sydney University Grounds.

And this is what I signed….after having ensured I understood it all, as the Ass/Prof AE was concerned I might have been too upset. No, I said, I understand. It’s just been overwhelming….B had great confidence in the men he met…and still retains the same respect for them.

Some info: This surgery would not happen for another 7 weeks. I will write about that in July. But here is some information from my 2 and a half hour consultation.

Maxillectomy: we are going to take all of the upper part of your mouth inside. The jaw, the gums and remaining teeth and, oh yes, the palate or upper part of your mouth…

LEFT (in the end it was RIGHT, because CT found blood supply to be superior there, to lift the flesh with blood vessels…& skin grafts and dental implants…

(and funny story, it was ME sharing with them IN THE ANAESTHETIC bay some 7 weeks later, that the permissions were for left leg but they were using right…details me hey! Anyway, I was happy to comply with the written changes ON THE MORNING…waiting for THE SURGERY…and signed away)!

And the fibula was removed to form the jaw: all to happen in theatre and skin & flesh from leg would re-construct me an INSIDE of MY MOUTH….

Sneak Peak: I did not get to see how this looked until October after the first surgery! It blew my mind!

Image via CT..top is my upper jaw and 3 sections of bone from my fibula with 5 implants

Thank you for reading this far…if you did…and I will return with some 5 year updates that have meaning for my life now, in recovery and someone who has had cancer. I tend not to use the survivor or any warrior type words.

Denyse.

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