Wednesday 2nd December 2020

Telling My Story. Chapter Twenty. 2013-2014.97/2020.

Telling My Story. 2013-2014. Chapter Twenty. 97/2020.

About a hundred three years ago ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author (her story is here) that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed.

Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at...Chapter Twenty.

So, in keeping with my ethical approach to all things, I am making the chapters about MY recollections to various changes in life for me, and us, and life as we knew it. I hope I can continue sharing the story without any intentionally negative or hurtful references to others who are in my life as friends and family members.

In saying that, these two years, 2013-2014  are presenting me, the memory writer and ‘rememberer’ with some internal challenges. You see, I look at my images back then and see the very overweight Denyse smiling (as she does) for the camera and sharing what she did professionally in her work well, along with caring for her family…but as I know now (and did then) I was:

  • very unhappy
  • using some foods for comfort
  • confused in some ways about what was best for me going forward
  • hiding how I felt mostly from myself I guess
  • acting out: angrily, tearily and more

In saying this, I hope to share honestly for my sake and to keep the story telling real even though to re-hash some of the memories and to see again those self-images makes me sad. I am somewhat ashamed of the me then. However, I need to let that go…over time, I guess I do. More about my weight issues here.

I have a goal to continue to present a one more of these chapters, after this one, as a snapshot of 2020…that year that was… have a break and be back in 2021.

All the posts are here if you would like to check them out.

Mixing Up The Years 2013-2014.

Changing Priorities.

By the time the end of 2014 arrived, we knew we were to become grandparents of an 8th grandchild due in 2015. This would be our son’s 4th child. He had a 3rd child with his then wife in 2013 and we cared for her and her older sister for much of 2014. In 2013 we did some care for our daughter’s 4th child along with our son’s 2nd.

We did enjoy these days very much but they were tiring as we aged.

We did this mostly together but as 2014 changed my husband’s focus to some personal and professional learning in counselling as well as becoming a trained telephone support person for Lifeline, I was left alone with one under 1 year old and I admit, I was liking that less and less. So, the compromise was made to having her 2 days a week.

The House Needed These Improvements.

My husband had a business for some years when he was 100% well and it was in kitchen cabinet making. He had to let the business go (see Chapter12 ) but his interest in maintaining our then house inside and out, grew in the years from 2012 onwards.

Whilst we never really discussed it, the house (ours since 1997), with its significant mortgage: thanks to us (ok, me) wanting to borrow to help our two adult kids get into housing, and then making more home improvements for our comfort, was going to need to be sold one day.

That day when I had a tearful conversation with my husband came around as a first discussion point in July 2014 when I was flailing at any kind of paid work pressures. They were not huge but as someone who was now quite unwell emotionally (did not realise it in reality) and longed to be free of paid work obligations this idea filled me with relief. Much to do before putting it on the market, but it all happened. See more below.

But First….there was a lot more happening! 

  • My business: Denyse Whelan Education Specialist (I dislike Expert!) and I had a newspaper article, column for a short time (local papers), a consultancy that saw me work with a local and reputable Early Childhood chain of centres in the Hills District. I helped their staff and parents navigate the world that is “after pre-school and before school”.

 

  • The blog saw me have 3 separate ones: education, schools and teachers. I had hoped, via my role as an educator/tutor for Masters of Teaching at a local University there may have been more interest on-line but my ‘at the chalkface’ role continued as a practicum supervisor and tutor at Uni (marking too!) until I asked to stop…in time for second semester 2014. I did enjoy it, but I was ready to leave the world of accountability!!

 

  • However, I continued to be an ‘as needed’ person in then NSW Institute of Teachers to visit schools as an External Observer from as far away at Cobar (went there in one day thanks to a small passenger place) to local Western Sydney schools. I enjoyed that I got to see parts of N.S.W. as a tourist and educator. Parts of my trips were paid by me if I wanted to extend the times. I did that when visiting Cobargo PS (scenes of the awful fires in 2019-2020) as I flew into and stayed at Merimbula. I did that for a Woolgoolga trip staying at Coffs Harbour and in Tamworth for my first visit to Kootingal.

 

  • The educator role also saw me invited a couple of times to appear on television in discussions and as a so-called expert. I admit “one” was enough and luckily I already knew Kerri Sackville and the appearance went well. I “needed” a new wardrobe of course, and I enjoyed being pampered in the make-up chair and saying ‘g’day to Jane Caro as she left from her segment.

Still The Grandmother AND Educator! 

In early 2014 Rick Morton (top journalist and writer) asked me some questions for a story he was writing for the Australian. He now works for The Saturday Paper. One of the images from the day is first below.

We did have lots of fun making memories, grandchildren and grandparents. Some were at times like Easter, others ‘just hanging out’ at our place where there was always paint AND playdoh! Never mix the colours, kids!

Making Memories : for Me! 

I admitted to myself there would be much I would miss about living in Sydney and being closer to the family. So, I made sure I had some special occasions to look back on. My formative years aged 10-20 were spent living near Manly and the Harbour so this was an even more special place to make memories. Mum and Dad had continued to live at Balgowlah Heights till 2011. Mum’s death in 2007 saw Dad stay for as long as he wishes but eventually, he was ready for independent retirement living at Dee Why. That’s is where I visit him now.

Few More Memorable Occasions. 2013 into 2014. 

The Changes Becoming Realities.

At the end of 2013 my organisation energies were applied to my father’s 90th Birthday luncheon. He gave me and my brother his wish list of ideas and people, and then, we, the family sorted it for him. It was held next door to his retirement place, at Dee Why R.S.L. where he hired a room and they supplied lunch for us all. We, the kids and grandkids, sorted the presentations, the decor, the name tags and more. He, was, and continues to be, overwhelmed by it. Nearly 7 years later. Anyway, it goes without saying, he enjoyed it.

Time To Make Reality Happen. Mid 2014 onwards.

In order for us to be mortgage-free the house had to be sold.

We were both keen to do that. My husband has never really been a city person and was keen to leave for the less busy areas on the Central Coast. I agreed at the time that this was the right move. It still is. However, I knew nothing about the emotional effect the changes would have on me. I will be writing about that in 2015.

What happened though was that there was a LOT of physical work to be done to ready a house for selling. We interviewed agents. Eventually we agreed on one. We half-jokingly took him up on an offer to pay him a smaller personal percentage if the house sold for over (what we though was unreachable) $800K. Late 2014, people. Western area of Sydney.

Before then, my husband finished off the outside areas, made and painted new side gates, made the pool area extra comfy and of course added fence protection to a side garden as we realised the raised grass area made the pool fence climbable. We planted a great deal and did all we could to make the outside areas of the house private as Blacktown Council had extended their community centre to our side fence.

I started detaching from the possessions that had made our space for grandchildren. We gave away a lot, sold some things and each grandchild got their own box of Christmas decorations to use in their future. Part of my tradition since becoming grandparents in 1996 was a new tree decoration for each grandchild each year. There were a LOT for our daughter’s first 3 kids!

At the same time, in late 2014,  we were trying to find somewhere to rent on the Central Coast.

We thought we would try before buying…and now, some 6 years later we are less close to buying than ever thanks to using our sum left after sale and increasing house prices here. However, we are reasonably content with renting now.

I spent a lot of time on-line and some Saturdays up and down the M1 with little success. Our wish list then was air conditioning and the southern end of the coast..closer to returning to Sydney – my idea. The house we eventually took was because of desperation. Our place had sold, we needed to be “in” somewhere around mid January 2015 so with haste, we signed up for a too expensive and too uncomfortable house with limited air conditioning.

Then It All Came To This. End of 2014. 

  • The house sold. We accepted $825,000 on the night of the first open home. We never thought it would get to that but we had a very volatile Sydney housing market and an exceptional agent.
  • The relief was palpable but there were still hurdles to overcome including the usual inspections, delays from buyers but it did all come together on 15 January 2015. We had already moved but were assured all would be fine. And it was. But it’s nail biting. And we had almost zero in our accounts!
  • We celebrated our eldest granddaughter’s 18th birthday, success in HSC thanks to first 10% of state in Drama, her solo performance at the School Spectacular with the NSW Group of Talented Drama Students.
  • We knew we had a new grandchild arriving in the following year.
  • Our daughter kindly offered (accepted!) to have our last Christmas in Sydney at her place and both of our kids and their kids attended. It began hitting home for me…these were lasts!
  • We had a few more occasions to have grandchildren over to swim and to stay…and then…that was it.

2015 Awaited Us. 

I am glad to have written this chapter. It took some doing but it’s done. I hope that you, the reader, find it of interest.

Thanks for being here.

Denyse.

Joining with Leanne and friends here for Lovin Life Linky.

FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest

Self-Care Stories #7 48/51. #LifeThisWeek. 96/2020.

Self-Care Stories #7 48/51. #LifeThisWeek. 96/2020.

The seventh optional prompt for #lifethisweek: Self Care Stories. Sometimes with a hyphen and sometimes not. New image though!

Every 7th Week

Today I am 71.

And yet it seems like just a few months since I was getting myself prepared for 70. In fact, I had a lovely series of gatherings for my 70th and this one brings back smiles…and gratitude for friends made via social media and blogging!

Today, as you may be reading this, I am driving to Sydney with my husband to visit my Dad. Dad is getting more physically frail but very much mentally ‘on the ball’ and I thought it might be a way to brighten his day, share some of my home made cakes and for him to chat with my husband in person as I tend to visit solo. After that we are popping into Uberkate at Willoughby to collect my chain with an added mini-ubercircle which I won’t wear until it’s our Golden Wedding Anniversary in January.

The original 3 Ubercircles I have worn since 2013.

What I Have Done To Continue Better and More Effective Self Care Practices Recently.

  • limiting time spent at my computer in a physical way as I had advice that my sore right shoulder was the effect of too much use of the trackpad and sitting for too long. I have a sign above my screen which says “Ready…Set 15 mins…Go” and oops, I best do that now on my watch. It is a break time which reminds me to move away, and change my posture.
  • using social media feeds of instagram, twitter and facebook ‘just to scroll.’ I now tend to use any one of them for a purpose. For example, twitter is ‘news based’ for my education and health needs, instagram to see if my two posts are actually live and sharing my likes for others, and facebook – personal and the page – to check in on groups where I am a member.
  • I now do not stay for long. If I feel my emotions change i.e. getting cranky with politicians and the like, I am more prone to leaving or retweeting than to respond. Not always but I am getting better!

Self-Talk is SO Much Better.

I do not give myself too hard a time about anything any more and this is a huge shift. Of course, I will say something like ‘oh that was silly’ but I get over it. I no longer dwell, berate or use much negative talk at all. How come? Well, more than anything becoming AWARE. This is my way…I notice much much more what I do/say and I pull myself up on it and move on. I have done so much of this thanks to my previous years’ learning, wanting to know more and via my Calm meditation and reading over 2 years.

Kindness Is King. 

I used to say the words “be kind” and “kindness makes the world a better place” but I did not really believe it nor practise consistently it until this past year. I think, adding to my learning about the benefits of gratitude and needing to cope with all the COVID threw at us earlier in the year, I have had to deliberately step back when managing my emotions and with another person where I may be challenged…and think “kindness.”

  • I took our real estate property manager and team a card of appreciation for their five years of caring for us along with some treats to eat.
  • I also thanked the lovely cafe owner who has cared for me for all of my time getting over cancer surgeries and treatments.
  • I had my 6 months check with my dentist – the one who helped me find the cancer – and he kindly charges me no gap fees at check ups
  • The huge donut story. I sometimes feel deprived of some foods and this local place has been hammering social media so I visited and bought a creme brulee donut home. Ahhh. No good for me. It was delightfully crunchy toffee on top and with MY mouth and teeth no way would I risk it. Boo. So, I had some of the custard with some of the dough and then threw it away. I learned that I cannot have treats like these and wondered, now my appetite has changed how anyone actually eats one or more!
  • My Sunday coffee is always perfect and here is where I catch up on my Kindness book and its snippets of wisdom.

 

Realisation that Choosing  Gratitude as My Word of the Year Helped Me. 

I just reviewed my January post about my selection  of the word gratitude and why. I set myself a goal of posting an image each day (366!) of 2020. Little did any of us know what lay ahead. Days and weeks (months even) of uncertainty thanks to COVID. In fact, I remember a few times thinking to myself ‘sure picked a good word for 2020…not’. And then I turned it around. Often.

  • I became grateful for small things.
  • Learned that I could cope with restrictions better than I may have imagined
  • Found gratitude in a daily coffee AT home rather than going out.

So much to be grateful for.

I had health challenges and a recovery that went a bit pear-shaped but I was grateful for the technology to aid healing, our private health insurance and my body for being a good healer.

So, yes it IS possible to be grateful. 100%.

And to Keep Me More Mindful These Help:

Each morning after my Daily Calm Meditation practice, an image pops up connected to that day. Some I like, others not so much. Here is a range of one whioch not only resonate but are beginning to be embedded in me! I like that.

How Self Care Helps Me Gain Confidence and Strength.

It may surprise some readers but for quite some time my confidence was low. It was, in some ways, to do with my focus on physical and emotional health before cancer was diagnosed. More about that when I do more chapters in Telling My Story next year.

One very special day recently I drove to our son’s house in Sydney after asking if I could spend some time with his youngest before she starts school. He was fine with that and last week, I loved being with her, chatting, drawing and sharing. Being with her, helped my self-care as I watched her totally absorbed in this little Christmas counting book I gave her.

And that is my self-care catch up for now.

How are you self caring these days?

Denyse.

Link Up 217

Life This Week. Link Up #217

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 49/51 Lucky 7.12.2020 & I will share the first optional prompts for 2021. 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest

My Head & Neck Cancer Story* Wrapped Up!** 95/2020.

My Head & Neck Cancer Story* Wrapped Up!** 95/2020.

Why the * and the ** Denyse?

Well, yes it’s a story* alright, this head and neck cancer of mine.

Mine was a version of Squamous Cell Carcinoma found in my upper gums and under top lip. However my head and neck surgeons were never quite sure of my SCC definitions as it was “very unusual” and “could have been…something …something”. Nevertheless, for ease of writing and for others who may read these posts, I refer to it as SCC of the upper gums and under the top lip or Oral Cancer. I keep it consistent for me and for readers who may have found me following a head and neck cancer diagnosis for them or a family member. This is why I keep a page here devoted to all the posts.

Now, about the wrapped up**

Considering that my head and neck surgeon said in September 2020, “see you in a year” and my prosthodontist said in October 2020, “see you in 6 months” there is not a lot I need to consider at all treatment and care wise.

I am in my 4th year since diagnosis and recoveries have been fine…even with a few setbacks so here I am.

In Collage Form: My Head & Neck Story Wrapped Up. As of November 2020.

First: Time span: July 2017 (first & major surgery) including 3 other surgeries and many, many visits to the prosthodontist to May 2018.

Second: Time span: June 2018 – December 2018. I had my upper prosthesis added on 21 August 2018. Smiling and eating felt so good!

Third: Using my upper prosthesis to eat took FAR longer than I expected. Nevertheless I remain very grateful and my smile tells the story.

Four: In early 2020 (the famous year of COVID!) my cataracts were removed from both eyes, no more glasses other than reading. I also had major bowel surgery. So happy to be WELL…after all that and to have found a hairdresser whose cutting of my hair is consistent and amazing.

That is it. For now. This year and beyond.

To all who have continued to cheer me on when I have been down and help me see how well I am doing….

             T H A N K    Y O U

and I am off to:

Denyse.

Joining here with Leanne and friends for Lovin’ Life linky on Thursdays.

FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest

Taking Stock. #5. 47/51. #LifeThisWeek. 94/2020.

Taking Stock. #5. 47/51. #LifeThisWeek. 94/2020.

Introducing my new collage for Taking Stock. Nothing like a small change to brighten things up!

I admit, that because of the 1000s of images I have in my photos and significant numbers in the media section of the blog itself, I spend far too much time trying to find the images, so made new ones! Hope you like it.

Remember, prompts here for #lifethisweek are ALWAYS optional. For me, and some, they are a good way to start a thread for a post.

A reminder that here’s how things work with the regular optional prompts:

Every 5th Week: Share Your Snaps:

Every 7th Week: Self Care Stories: 

Every 9th Week: Taking Stock:

And, before the end of the year I will have the first 9 weeks of optional prompts for 2021 on the home page AND mentioning them in a blog post. Let me tell you, I am feeling pretty clever finishing all 51!!

Back to Taking Stock.

Making: plans, so many plans and loving it too.

Cooking: some meals for us, Dad and the freezer.

Drinking: coffee, tea, water and prune juice with fruit drink.

Reading: Rick Morton’s Book On Money. Highly recommend it.

Wanting: a Certain Ex-President to wave (ok, don’t wave) BYE-BYE. Now. Thanks.

Looking: at so many ideas for celebrating 50 years of marriage. 

Playing: Hamilton sound track more often than any music. Have not even STARTED on Christmas tunes yet.

Wasting: more money than I should have purchasing a crappy Ipad cover with blue tooth keyboard. Got some of my money back & told keep the product. 

Wishing: I had taken more time over above purchase. Now using an old case.

Enjoying: Schitts Creek. I loved it so much once I survived Ep 1 of Season One. Now it’s about to join Downton Abbey in my ‘comfort-go to’ watching.

Waiting: for ….not much at all really.

Liking: that the community is still making an effort where possible to be socially distant in this COVID year.

Wondering: if it’s possible for Australia’s Prime Minister to actually DO something to HELP people who NEED it most. OK, yes, I am shouting a bit. Sorry.

Loving: the images out of Melbourne in particular where people who did it so very very tough in lockdown for COVID are getting out and about. Safely.

Hoping: that Australia and its near neighbours (and actually our states too) can open their borders safely.

Marvelling: at the incredible fortitude of many people who are in the hands-on caring profession. I am sorry many have become ill themselves.

Needing: very little at all. 

Smelling: the ocean when I get out of the car to view it.

Wearing: shorts and sleeveless tops more these days. Suddenly (almost) Summer is here.

Following: the state of American politics with much shaking of my head. 

Noticing: when some people I know in my social media feed  are not there.

Knowing: those people are likely to have a personal or private reason to be so, but a kind check in does not hurt.

Thinking: how much we need to stay connected even if it’s not in person.

Feeling: that generally I am pretty careful not to exceed friendship bounds but also that I can care at a distance.

Bookmarking: I literally am these days! Reading a couple of chapters each night of Grown Ups by Marian Keyes, and 

Opening: the app for Audible to listen to her narrate her story.

Smiling: at myself because I am currently listening to two Irish accented people (Graham Norton and Marian Keys) on audible and my inner thoughts are with an Irish accent! 

 

So, I went with a traditional post today for Taking Stock. But I did find some photos from recent weeks. They are not matching the prompts but here goes:

I admit, I am finding the writing and posting in these last weeks of 2020 tiring. I think it’s because of the topics!! I know, who set them? No actually it’s the Telling My Story Posts. I wanted to get more out in 2020, and the final one for this year will be week after next. It’s a bit of a challenge to write them to ensure I am telling the story with some accuracy that will not offend people. So far, so good.

Denyse.

Link Up 216

Life This Week. Link Up #216

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 48/51 Self-Care Stories #7 30.11.2020 And it’s my birthday! 71 next Monday. 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest

Telling My Story.Chapter Nineteen. 2010-2012. 93/2020.

Telling My Story. 2010-2012. Chapter Nineteen. 93/2020.

About a hundred three years ago ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author (her story is here) that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed.

Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at...Chapter Nineteen.

I admitted last chapter  it is getting harder in some ways to blog about the more recent times. I think it is because without using particular markers (i.e. deaths, births, engagements, marriages, break ups…) then it can be hard to recall.

So, in keeping with my ethical approach to all things, I am making the chapters about MY recollections to various changes in life for me, and us, and life as we knew it. I hope I can continue sharing the story without any intentionally negative or hurtful references to others who are in my life as friends and family members.

I have a goal to continue to present a one more of these chapters, after this one,   this year, have a break and be back in 2021.

All the posts are here if you would like to check them out.

Photo: #7 for Telling My Story.

2010, 2011, 2012.

The group of these three years are somewhat mixed up  for me in a chronological sense. I would possibly be making factual errors if I tried now to assign a month/year to an event or memory or significance. So, I will do this chapter with what were highlights, new and memories from this era.

No More Work in Schools.

I really knew when to go. In fact, I wrote last chapter by the time I got to 4th term of the year I turned 60 (2009) I was tired and ready to leave working in schools. Much had changed but much was also wearying. I no longer had the mental interest and physical stamina to be contributing member of a school staff. I also was aware that at my age and stage I did not want to be a negative influence either, so with grace and at the right timing for me, I retired to become:

Grandma (and Papa) Grandchild Carer.

As someone who actively resisted any call to stay at home for more than some months when I was a full time teacher seeking promotion, I had a different ‘take’ when it was about the offspring of those two of ours. This time around it would be our son’s two children – one a toddler getting to be a pre-schooler, and one a baby. We would begin care for up to 3 days a week for these two. Honestly, I have never been more physically tired but in such a good way.

It really was a fun time. The shops which sold kids and baby toys and more, did well out of me and we had an ideal set up for a child in a bed and one in a cot to be with us. I duplicated bottles, nappies and always had a ready supply of changes of clothes, along with a highchair, a stroller and much much more.

The two would be brought by whichever parent was coming our way in the mornings. Drop offs could be tricky. We did have tears a few times, even though we had practice stays but at time went on, things eased. We (the grandparents) got into our routine with the children too. There were stories with Papa while I did other things, and we convinced them for as long as possible that sleeps after lunch were mandatory because WE needed the break too.

 

The days of care changed from time to time and some days, as the children got older, we would also care for our daughter’s youngest. Honestly, 3 were hard work but we did it. For one term. One of these children is now in High School…and one goes next year, and the youngest in the group will be in primary school. What is it they say about time flying?

Denyse Needs Something Else To Do.

I have always been an early adopter. I had an on/off relationship with Facebook but twitter was my place to be and I met so many people there, and then via blogging from 2010 who continue to be friends and we have met up. I enjoyed the conversations on twitter that took me to new places, called blogs! So, by the end of 2010 – coming up ten years in December, I kicked off my foray into blogging.

Sadly I had to pay someone to set it up and then I had no real clue what to do other than post something. I did. Pretty sure I knew nothing about how to get others to read it. And then came (via twitter of course!) the information that there was going to be the First Ever Aussie Bloggers’ Conference. I hesitated thinking I was not really eligible and then with encouragement from the founder, I dived in. I attended the conference of two nights and one day in Sydney. This started me well on my way to…

Denyse Whelan Blogs.

So in the three years 2010-2012 the Australian (Mummy, then) Blogging Community grew and grew…there were events for bloggers run to help us understand sponsorship, brands and it was BIG learning for many of us and we then thought, a chance to MAKE some money from this thing called blogging….wow.

But not for many, in fact anyone like me did that happen. I did however, get some sponsorship to attend a Blogging conference in Melbourne – flights and accommodation. I was not really the demographic..in fact I was (still am) the oldest blogger in most cases. I was always made to feel welcome and enjoyed the connections. I think in 2011 I attended at least 4 blogging events and again a chance to learn and meet up with people.

From my previous career in schools I learned more about others and was no longer only about schooling and education. I have, as I said, made great friends via blogging and many I got to meet not only at the conferences but sometimes at sponsors’ events where I was invited to a promotion and with gifts of products (mine were often related to children’s learning) to blog about.

Over these years I did try a range of types of blogging and got my head around link ups and more. But what I needed was a blog developer and I got this in the form of meeting with the kind person who (still) looks after any aspects of my blog in a technical way. It took me some money and more understanding to get this blog thing something that worked for me. I then got on with all I could do and learn from others. Took me to Melbourne 3 times in that period.

Life Challenges and Great Memories Made With Young Grandkids.

In this three year period, my husband was not well. He has had a pretty tough road in terms of medical challenges because his body has many parts that do not work well…mostly related to his spine. He was medically retired from teaching aged 30. That is part of the story for year 1978.

Now, even more so at the time of writing he does have medical challenges….

However, back then, erroneously, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease by a specialist and the day that happened was the day he was forced by those words to stop driving, hand in his licence and basically given medications that she and his psychiatrist deemed appropriate for his now PD on top of spinal stenosis and chronic pain.

He, along with me, was devastated but, as we DID then, we went along with this awful news. The medications he was on affected him cognitively and it was not a great outcome for quality of life.

He did, however, always question the actual diagnoses and through his actions and those of  a new GP made great inroads into changes of medications. Eventually he sought a second opinion on the PD from a specialist neurologist who claimed he had only an essential tremor and as none of the PD meds had made  any difference, it was not Parkinsons disease.

The GP and my husband then worked on the plan to get his driver’s licence reinstated and that in itself was a costly experience – around $700 back then and a day in a rehab hospital. Honestly, the patience this man had. Anyway, he got it back. He tried to tell the first neurologist of her error but she was not interested.

What a shame. This is a prime example of why HE now is his own medical expert and his now health is kept in line with his conditions thanks to an excellent team of his GP and other specialist.

LOVE is….50 years together

Scenes with some of our grandchildren…who are, indeed, significantly older too. These are the best of times. Always. We may have been tired out physically but never emotionally.

Highlights of Significance From Family Life. 

  • Dad had found living in the original family home, alone, since Mum’s death 4 years earlier more and more of a challenge.
  • He decided to sell, and did in 2011. In a down market unfortunately. He helped us financially to be able to stay in our house for an additional 4 years.
  • He moved to a brand new Independent Retirement Place at Dee Why and almost 10 years later, remains there and as well as he can be for almost 97.
  • Our daughter was in a new relationship and with that person (now not together) sold her townhouse and with him, made plans to build and buy their own to live in with their extended family. This was OK for a while but from late 2012 things changed. No details, as I cannot share them nor do I want to.
  • Our son married his then partner and the two grandkids were ‘corralled’ by me for most of that long, hot day in the beautiful setting at Gunner Barracks.
  • We cared for the children for part of their honeymoon time too.
  • My husband’s dad, whose wife had died in 2009, sadly lost his life by the end of 2012.
  • I began some contract work with NSW Institute of Teachers as an External Observer and that took me, often by plane, to schools all over N.S.W. from 2012-2015.
  • Grandchildren were growing up and attending primary and high school. We had less to do with our eldest 3 then but they still had overnight stays from time to time. And we did have a pool!
  • Family functions continued: birthdays and the like.
  • Over time, Christmas became more complicated to try to ‘fit everyone’ in so we often compromised the the big Christmas Days of the past were gone.

More About Me.

Whilst I was busy, busy, busy, I did not do a lot of healthy self-care that helped me. Actually my version of self-care usually involved comfort eating, shopping and taking some time out for me. In fact, none of it really helped someone whose self-esteem was pretty low. I had a few reasons to be less than confident about myself I guess:

  • never measuring up (in my eyes) to my parents’ expectations
  • not finishing my job as a principal
  • taking comfort to deal with the worries from my life as a wife, mother and grandmother
  • trying my best to be the confident me in public…and doing that well…but the inner me needed soothing

I was aware my weight was at a not-great level for my on-going health. I also did not want to talk about it or do anything about it much. I had a couple of tries at losing weight over my lifetime and wrote about that here.

I had some health issues that included Irritable Bowel Syndrome (diarrhoea) which let me know when my emotions were not in balance and I had a bout of pancreatitis a couple of years earlier which I did not want to repeat. Nevertheless, I did my best to ‘look OK’ even though when I see the images now, I am very overweight.

I have a great deal of concern and sadness for me, the Denyse then, as I believe(d) I was doing the best I could.

Self-compassion, as I write this in 2020 in evident now.

Nothing like perspective and personal growth (the mental and emotional kind!)

In 2012 I met up with blogging friends and loved this connection! Still have that here and in real life as well as social media. Very grateful.

And, there are a few more memories from this period.

And that ends the memories from this era.

I will be back!

Chapter Twenty is 2013-2014 will go live before the end of this calendar year.

Thanks for your kind words about Telling My Story, too!

Anyone notice I have changed the image for this group?

Here’s all I have used since starting Telling My Story.

Photo (#1) For Telling My Story.

Photo (#2) post major cancer surgeries.

Photo (#3) After getting my upper prosthesis.

Photo (#4)Post: retirement medal presentation late 2018.

Photo #6. Mother’s Day 2020

Denyse.

Joining with blogging friend Leanne and others here too. Thanks for the link up!

FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest

Exams. 46/51. #LifeThisWeek. 92/2020.

Exams. 46/51. #LifeThisWeek. 92/2020.

Exams!

Exams, examinations, tests, testing, assessments, checking, observing …..all are seemingly similar in purpose:

to assess a student’s learning. 

But are they? And do they?

This post is actually not about that…because:

  1. I have no time for the pages of writing I might need to do
  2. I have been part of an education setting for over 65 years: student, teacher, assessor and I am done!

Memories of Exams.

Let me count the memories as a student of high school and tertiary years!

Before:

  1. A fluttery tummy at the prospect
  2. Sleeplessness the night before
  3. Concerned I have not read  nor studied enough
  4. Getting to the venue safely and surely
  5. Trying NOT to engage in conversations with others also waiting to get into the venue for the exam
  6. Making sure I had the requisite pens, pencils, eraser, water bottle (unsure if we could take this in, but I know I would have had one)
  7. Actually making sure I WAS at the right rooms, buildings
  8. Looking around the room, convinced everyone there looked much better prepared than I was
  9. Watching the supervisor/invigelator (weird word) as they set out the rules for the session and noting the clock.
  10. Seeing the papers handed out, and one landing in front of me.

During:

  1. Reading the paper as best I could and ensuring I could do at least one of the questions
  2. Taking my time to consider this without losing time
  3. Hating the multiple choices because TWO always seem right
  4. Preferring an essay style
  5. Keeping an eye on the clock
  6. Nervous glancing right and left at fellow examinees
  7. Hand hurting from writing so give it a stretch
  8. Encouraging myself to keep on going and F I N I S H
  9. Listening to time left warning
  10. Head down again and…..”Pens down”. Breathe again.

After:

  1. Out into the warmth of the November day
  2. Checking with others, if I know anyone there, about how they thought it was
  3. Not engaging in any post-mortems for long
  4. Home but first lunch or a snack
  5. Approach my desk and move the papers relating to today’s exams away
  6. Getting out the next exam’s papers and notes
  7. But first….a chat with a friend, a drive to see someone
  8. Go to the beach to relax – it IS almost Summer
  9. Count the ways in which I will spend my days once the exams are over
  10. Return to the study area and ready to repeat processes again!

 

But what did I do as exams?

As told here in Telling My Story Chapter I was in the first cohort in New South Wales to be part of the Wyndham Scheme (6 years of high school replacing the 5 years) where the previous high school years of attendance were 3 and 5.

After Third Year (Year 9 now)  was the Intermediate Certificate and most students left then to pursue trade and other training type careers. Only those, including teachers-to-be, went on to Fifth Year ( Years 10 and 11 now). My husband was one of those.

My high school education started in 1962 and in 1965 I did the first School Certificate at the end of Year 10. It was formal, gruelling and quite stressful.

I then did the Higher School Certificate in 1967. Being guinea pigs was not all fun and we were put through some very heavy testing/examination times.

At Teacher’s College we did all the subjects we would need to teach in Primary Schools and I recall with great stress, the onerous task of 18 examinations to graduate as a qualified teacher. I actually failed Science but was allowed to graduate and re-sit the examination in my 3rd year. I still hated it but scraped through.

I was exam-free until I was encouraged to do my Bachelor of Education, and then after that my Master of Education. There were many assignments but only a few in-examination room exams as I was doing my degrees as a distance education student and I could sit an examination at a church hall in Parramatta.

I did a TAFE course in sign making and ticket writing back in the early 1970s and did an at-home test which I think my husband supervised as he was a teacher.

Then there is this sign…about exams in Australia.

It is said, that by the time you see the jacaranda trees bloom, if you have not started your study, it’s too late. Examinations are ON..now!

 

Let me add, as a teacher, mum and grandmother, it’s hard to do exams for many.

In fact there can be so many reasons why an external examination  is not helpful for many students who may have a number of factors affecting learning. That said, so far, not much has been touted as fully replacing them. It seems, even at the highest level of tertiary study and beyond for specialist doctors there are huge pressures around both oral and written examinations.

I am also aware there are many practical examinations too. For example, music, drama and dance.

So, how do you remember exams?

Denyse.

Link Up 215

Life This Week. Link Up #215

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 47/51 Taking Stock #5 23.11.2020

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest

Mindful Art Helps To Heal Me. 91/2020.

Mindful Art Helps To Heal Me. 91/2020.

Since way before my cancer diagnosis in May 2017, I used art – my generic term for all things visually & kinaesthetically creative – as a distraction and mindful way to help me focus on ‘just one thing’ and to reduce levels of anxiety and stress. I have written quite a few posts about this and some can be found here.

What I have been doing lately.

I always have a few different sizes in art/display books to work on. I tend to use different sizes for mandalas, patterns and for drawing. However, this is no rule to this. I like a variety of choices.

Choices in books, materials and media. The following three photos are from my post-2017 recovery from surgery times.

And now here’s more: Self-Care is first.

This from a small book I carry with me right now about Kindness. I read and reflect on its words when I have my solo coffee time.

Why Art?

For me, it’s tactile and as a visually-oriented person it appeals greatly and I can get lost in it. That is my version of calming down and becoming mindful. In fact, when I may be waiting on news – health or otherwise- I will often make up something very intricate to work with, and leave it on my art desk to return to over and over. It sure does focus me on JUST ONE THING.

Some examples here of projects which have helped me focus and in doing so I have been taken away from the worries and fears and into this world that helps keep me on a greater emotional even keel.

Update of what it’s been like for the past year or so.

 

  • In recent years I have tried to emulate others’ works by using their materials such as stamps and stencils and cut out figures.
  • What I found is that this kind of trying to be like another’s work was both frustrating and limiting.
  • I found some of the physical materials: paints, stamps and more very expensive to buy and then not using them as I had hoped.
  • I admit stamping is not my forte. In some ways I can stamp but not in the complicated ways of specialists.
  • There are some creatives too who only enjoy seeing their work reflected back to them.
  • I learned I am not that kind of artist. In fact, I gave some of my items away and stopped following those pages.
  • I know I enjoy the annual Index Card a Day Challenge from the US. It’s for 61 days of June and July. Here are this year’s completed cards.

Grateful for art and creativity

 

What might I be planning now?

  • I admit that whilst I love going back to enjoy some of the more familiar art activities like mandalas and patterns, I still need a challenge or two.
  • I learned above that my skills lie in other fields.
  • I know I am far more tactile than I realised but I also do not like messes on my hands. Mmmmm.
  • This for me then means cutting out and using glue sticks. I don’t like getting paint on my hands. Maybe too it’s because of where I have my art activities and this house is not ours. Nevertheless it’s good to know my limitations.
  • In my recent clear up and clean out of my art area I found many more blank books of differing sizes and this is exciting as our budget is limited. Actually it probably was limited when I bought these. Yikes.
  • Quality of materials means I do not get frustrated with what I am working with so I have, ahem, spent a lot of money over the past 18 months and I am well-stashed!!

Working with words and more.

  • I enjoy finding quotes that appeal to me and printing them to use in a page
  • I am very fortunate that most days the Daily Calm quote from my daily morning meditation has a great quotation I believe in and learn from so am saving them as photos for future use.
  • I have a series of small books like these below. They are the idea size for me to take in my little art kit and re-read and reflect.
  • I have bought most via book depository (free postage) but they may also be in smaller bookstores.

These books are really helpful.

About the healing part.

Whilst my cancer recovery has been excellent, I have also had several surgeries both minor and major in 2020. In times of needing to be at home…much more in COVID times of course, and to remain physically rested, then to distract myself from any feelings of deprivation (coffee, driving, getting out!) I used (and use) my art space.

From what I know of my physical recoveries which have been for the main part, excellent, I know that my emotional and mental outlook play a great role too.

Coming to my space for art and play is a way of winding back from many thoughts and just focussing on what is in front of me. This strategy has helped me more than I ever might have thought.

Since 6 October I have been released from all of my treatments and surgeries..by that I mean, no more regular visits to the GP for dressing changes and wound care from the second abdominal surgery. My prosthodontist saw me briefly when I had some mouth pain recently but he doesn’t want to to come back till around May 2021 and my head and neck surgeon said ” see you in September 2021″.

THAT is an awesome feeling...and in its own way sets me a new challenge.

How to enjoy myself even more creatively!

What do you do to help you heal?

Do you have any creative outlets?

Denyse.

Joining with Leanne and friends here for Lovin Life Linky.

 

 

 

FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest

Share Your Snaps #9. 45/51. #LifeThisWeek. 90/2020.

Share Your Snaps #9. 45/51. #LifeThisWeek. 90/2020.

Every five weeks, it’s time here for me and others who join in to “share our snaps”. It may be the in thing to be wordless using photos but as a talker, I tend to always add something to my images! What about you?

BUT, before we get going. I might not want this blog to be political that is true but I, like many friends here in Australia and around the world, breathed a little easier on Sunday (our time) when we heard or read that a certain incumbent President of the USA was on his way out thanks to the winning number of the Biden/Harris combination. My little collage from Sunday’s instagram and twitter:

 

Let’s go on a tour with Denyse. Some of the Central Coast N.S.W.

Those who live in New South Wales or Sydney may know this area from living here, coming for a day trip or as we did back when our grown kids were teens, coming here for a holiday in January school holidays.

We sold our house and moved to the Central Coast back in early 2015. Then we moved to a “not so suitable for us” large 2 storey place on the water at Empire Bay – the southern end of the coast. Within that year, we moved to the northern – and not so expensive- end of the coast to rent firstly at Gorokan and now at Hamlyn Terrace.

To perhaps make greater sense of where my images have been take for this post, I have added this map! It’s of the Central Coast from parts of the south to the north.

Terrigal and Terrigal Haven.

The parking in Terrigal is shocking…well, I say so. Whenever I go there to view the water, I drive around to Terrigal Haven, seen here, which is picturesque and just nearby on the way to the view I took of Avoca and beyond, is the Terrigal Skillion. Many have climbed it, including me, and it’s a bit easier thanks to the stairs. The views are worth it.

Terrigal Haven looking back to Terrigal Beach. Structure is a new ‘boardwalk’.

The Skillion: to the right.

 

Toukley and Gorokan Area. 

This is more our local now and whilst the lake can be smelly, it is always interesting. Something I did not know is that it is relatively shallow. Boats can be used as can kayaks and there is usually someone fishing near the bridge too.

On the southern side of Toukley Bridge. The Entrance in distance.

 

Soldiers Beach and Norah Head.

Over the years on this blog I have posted many photos from here as it is a place I find comfort and joy in no matter what the conditions!

 

 

Then there is my part of the Wyong River.

Every Sunday, for the past 3+years I have driven into Wyong to have a coffee at my favourite place made by the kindest lady and then after a bit of grocery shopping, I will meander along Alison Road to this part of the Wyong River at Porters Creek Bridge. I now regard it as a spiritual spot or my ‘church’ to engage with my senses and to send silent messages of love and care to others.

Love the curve

 

 

Now, to The Entrance.

This was a holiday spot for our family back in the 90s. We enjoyed its easy ambience then. It is now, a sad place to me, as so much has closed down. Nevertheless, the Pelicans are still fed at 3.30 daily, the caravan parks fill each summer and the gentle stretches of water are hypnotic. What is not well-known is that part of the Entrance waterways can give way – they are sand based- and there have been drownings even when close to the shore.

From the eastern side of the bridge.

 

 

A View Called CrackNeck!

In between the beach side suburbs of Bateau Bay and Shelly Beach, high on a hill is Crackneck Lookout. The views are amazing. There is even a launch point for hang gliders!

Off you jump…into the air with the right breeze behind you.

 

To Long Jetty.

The name of the beach and lake side suburb is this! Named after the many long jetties now used for photography and walks. Back in the day, when my parents were very young adults, they would remember, as holiday makers,  there was much more activity here on the water via boats and even a ferry type too. I think.

Too good not to take a selfie here!

This touristy tale is now told.

Have you been to any of these places?

Denyse.

P.S. I may not be commenting until later on Monday as I am driving to Sydney to see my Dad at Dee Why.

P.P.S. Just casually adding, that there are ONLY 6 more posts till Life This Week has a wee break until the New Year.

Link Up 214

Life This Week. Link Up #214

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 46/51 Exams. 16.11.2020

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest