Being Me & The Month That Was April 2022. #WOTY. 28/2022.
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April 2022: Being Me & The Month That Was.
April started for ‘being me’ with less self confidence and some inner conflict.
I have been at odds with my perceived appearance (once a woman with overeating and overweight issues) that I could not shake. I needed evidence. Fortunately for me, and my current images, I now know my mind has been telling me stories. Who knew*? *sarcastic font.
- A break in rain to drive to Newcastle
- Back to confident me
- But also not afraid to share this…
And that was one of the reasons, lack of some self confidence, I chose to make myself (and anyone who wanted to join in) a 30 Day Challenge via social media. Instagram specifically.
Being Self-Compassionate!
Dear Readers, I stopped the challenge at Day 20. I was getting little to no engagement via my daily posts. And whilst I was wanting some likes and perhaps a comment, nothing happened. I like to engage with those who comment. So, I was a bit sorry that it did not happen. I was also taking part in a daily challenge from Fat Mum Slim about food, and using it to share knowledge and experiences from my head and neck cancer. And I stopped it at Day 20 as well.
- Last 10 Days: Self Compassion
- Last 10 Days: Food & Drink
Lesson learned: Perhaps I post too much and perhaps with an expectation of interest in what I post. But I can see, that having a private account, along with content that my on-line followers have seen enough of since 2017.
I am unlinking instagram from the blog as it truly was a nuisance with its updates. I am now just posting on Instagram when I have something I want to share. I have also unlinked Instagram from the Denyse Whelan Blogs facebook page. AND, in case you are not aware, I have deleted as many photos as I wanted to because Meta (owner of both FB and IG) own the images until you delete them. It takes a while to do it. But I didn’t want as much on line.
On Changing & Ageing…Being Me.
It’s all very well for people to say, “oh age is just an attitude”…and yes to an extent that is true but to deny the fact that we humans age in many ways (all different for each of us) but towards the common denominator called death, is for me and my husband, a non-realistic way to LIVE in the NOW, but keeping an EYE on our future.
What We Both Love About This Time Of Our Lives Is:
- being together for parts of the day, week and so on
- having some separate and private times
- pursuing our differing interests and hobbies
- coming together a few times each day, and at 9 p.m. to chat, laugh and listen
- no one to answer to any more…no bosses!
- lack of direct responsibility for any other humans…those dear kids are in their 40s & 50s with our fast growing up grandkids as their responsibility
- where we live now
- having a limited but sufficient income with which to live our now modest lives

We went to Norah Head Lighthouse on Good Friday.
What We Accept Is Coming…one day…who knows when?
Our different and chronic health issues may impede some of our planning.
Already we have accepted that for two different reasons, both physical changes within us, we cannot travel or have a night staying anywhere. We both have eating and digestive issues that are managed with ease at home, and whilst we can venture to a cafe for morning tea or visit our family for a meal, that is it now.
My husband has a severely comprised spine – surgeries have helped him stay upright – and pain is with him 24/7 so he is most comfortable at home with all the needs met here. And of course, my reconstructed mouth means eating away from home is in fact, too hard!
I tend to want to know, research and read…(and listen if it’s via Audible) and “he” has learned so much in his University Counselling Degree and working as a Counsellor that he listens to me and nods ….because, dear Reader, is he WISE!
Mind you, we both do still learn from each other and he is understanding of my need to know and with my father’s age at 98 I have seen so much about ageing as it happens to him..I want to understand more about what it not only IS but what I can accept…so, learning for life me, learns! Here’s a few ways:
And this is truly BEing ME!
- My wise man…
BEing Me.
Has changed considerably this year.
For the better.
I have, finally, taken stock of what was causing me some anxiety and worry and stopped being an always happy to say YES person.
I now have worked out whose health matters most, mental and physical and that is mine.
I know not everyone can see why I might now have changed but I have had to change.
I was being stressed over small matters that grew into big ones and they were, generally about people-pleasing.
It’s something I am more aware of now and seek to take a pause before I respond to something that perhaps I may have said yes to in the past.

On some occasions I wear my family circles but every day I wear this, a small heart within a heart to remind me of inner and self love.
Now, back to April: The Month That Was.
- Back to NWF
- Seeing Trent & Rosemarie
- Ella is 10!
- Beach walk: after rain
- Remembering a friend who died.
- Finally some pots to fill
- This man, who I love & admire, is my HNC surgeon.
- Ella does well at X Country
- My recent post about Dad’s legacy
- Learning about the colours of nature from Indira Naidoo’s book
- A.N.Z.A.C. Day
- And both fully covid vaxxed
And some more:
I have visited Dad more often as the weather has brightened and he is needing company. I also bring little treats and food.
He no longer wants me to take photos of him but when he went to my brother’s for Easter, this image was taken and I love it….will be taking a copy “blown up” so he can see it next week. This is his youngest great grandchild and there is 97 years and 4 months difference in their age!
And that, my friends is April…..Word of the Year progress noted….and on Sunday it is May!
May, for many, can bring memories of Mother’s Days…and mothering, and grand mothering too if you get to do that.
It’s the month in which my oral cancer was diagnosed and my life changed from that time onwards.
Yes, there will be a post (or two) in May about it….
Take care,
Denyse.
Your comments are appreciated & read by Denyse who always replies.