Monday 20th September 2021

Archives for Thursday 2nd September 2021

Women of Courage Series. #70. Anonymous.107/2021.

Women of Courage Series. #70. Anonymous.107/2021.

 

Two years ago… I tentatively courageously launched Women of Courage series on my blog and here was what I said then:

I got this idea from attending the Newcastle Writers Festival in April 2019 and hearing the wonderful Jane Caro speak about her book Accidental Feminists. IF you ever get a chance to listen to or read Jane’s works they are very good.

What I considered after that day and in the days to come is how we women have a tendency to underplay our achievements and whatever else we are doing in our lives. I know this is changing.

This third series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here will continue to be published each Thursday into September 2021 when it will conclude.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda

Trigger Warning: Abuse, Children, Mental Health.
There are websites at the conclusion of this post recommended by Anonymous in conjunction with my intention for this blog’s policies.

 

 

 

Woman of Courage #70  has chosen to be anonymous. There will be no replies from this poster.

She will, however, be reading and I will be responding as I always do to readers’ comments.

Thank you for your understanding.

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

 

Growing up as a child I was faced with a lot of obstacles and situations when courage would have been best used but unfortunately it wasn’t.

I was a victim of a certain abuse by a close family member (like some victims unfortunately are).

Though I like to call myself a ‘survivor’ now instead.

I was quite young at the time and was put in a very vulnerable situation.

Sadly I did not have the courage to speak up about what had happened at the time.

A few years on, I started to see that if courage didn’t show its face soon more pain was to be brought.

So I found a small voice inside of me and told ‘Parent A’.

It was a shock to everyone and had some people unsure of what or who to believe.

The breaking of this news would be the end of something not so great and the start of something a little better.

But I began to understand the value of being courageous because as soon as I told someone, I wasn’t alone anymore.

 

 

How did this change you in any way?

 

Speaking up about what had occurred even just for the first time to Parent A, was a huge life changing moment for me.

I was never one to speak up as a kid.

Always felt the expectation to be the good girl and to just do what I am told.

To have found this voice and still be only just blooming into my teens was a stun to me.

I experienced a lot of character building from using my voice in times of need.

I was, and still kind of am to this day, one to hide away when things get hard.

But that moment, that day, would be the first of many courageous moments.

I feel that if I never spoke up then, I wouldn’t be able to use my voice as strongly as I do now.

The more I let myself be courageous when I needed to be most, in both positive and negative situations, it became easier as time went on.

 

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage? 

 

I have definitely learnt from this situation as soon as you tell someone what’s going on, whether they don’t listen/respond or in any way care, you’ve told that person, they now know that information as well.

So you’re no longer alone.

Yes it would be best for them to listen intently and help you out to show they care but sometimes that’s not always the case.

And I learnt that  when I spoke up for the first time, Parent A technically didn’t believe what I had confessed.

And as much as that was a kick in the gut it still felt so good to finally say something.

So in recommendation, I guess I would say, as scary as having courage is and particularly in a situation of confession, just speak.

Even if the words don’t make sense at first just keep talking!

Just keep fuelling your courage and take care of it by standing up for what’s best in times that need it.

The hardest thing to learn is to accept that it’s a process, unfortunately gaining courage doesn’t happen overnight.

But it will come to you and continue to grow when you take care of yourself and wellbeing.

 

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why’s that?

 

As previously stated, I definitely believe I could be courageous, and maybe even more so, in the moments that call for it.

I learnt a lot of huge life lessons as a kid and it helped me surround myself with the right people as I grew up.

I still struggle daily to use courage but I am way less afraid of it.

I have an extremely supportive partner who constantly teaches me that it is okay to speak up, that it is okay to have an opinion, that it is okay not to like something and say that aloud.

Every time I allow myself to be courageous, I can feel less of the weight on my shoulders.

I’ve also learnt that each time you use your courage you definitely become less fearful of the world and what’s around you.

 

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed? 

 

If you ever find yourself in a situation and a burst of courage is needed, take a deep breath and close your eyes and visualize the bigger picture.

Courage obviously does not have to be used only in negative situations.

But when faced with a negative circumstance and you need that bit of courage to keep yourself safe and content, a quick breather to analyse the situation before responding has helped me.

I always, and will admit sometimes I still do, think that the worse outcome is the only outcome possible.

But I’ve learnt over the years that if you choose to use courage in those particular situations you can have a better outcome.

And to just remember at the end of the day to be courageous is a choice, it just takes that little bit of faith.

 

Don’t ever be afraid to speak up, someone will always be there for you. And sometimes there’s even more people there for you than you think.

Thank you Anonymous for having the courage also to share your story. The readers and I would agree, I think,  that you are indeed a woman of courage. This poster is safe and well and in a secure relationship with a long term partner.

Sending all the best to you.

 

Denyse.

 

 

 

Recommended Sites: these are Australian sites.

 

Joining with Natalie here for Weekend Coffee Share.

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