Monday 19th April 2021

Archives for March 2021

Heroic. 13/51. #LifeThisWeek. 39/2021.

Heroic. 13/51. #LifeThisWeek. 39/2021.

As I am the instigator of these optional prompts you might think ‘ah that makes it easier to write’….well actually it doesn’t at times. This is one such time.

I was telling my husband about it and he said this about me. I wasn’t asking, but he told me he saw me as a hero.

“Displaying great courage under difficult circumstances and I see that in you”

He would say any more…ha! Man of few words and apt to give praise very rarely. However, it was not only related to overcoming cancer, but he didn’t elaborate and I know him well enough to know it’s cool that he sees me that way.

 

Heroic: adjective

having the characteristics of a hero or heroine; admirably brave or determined.”heroic deeds”

(of language or a work of art) grand or grandiose in scale or intention.

“one passes under pyramids and obelisks, all on a heroic scale”

Heroic: noun

behaviour or talk that is bold or dramatic.”the England star is getting special treatment because of his World Cup heroics”

heroic(a.) Synonyms: brave, valiant, courageous, intrepid, bold, daring, gallant, fearless, dauntless, noble, magnanimous. heroic(a.)

 

Some Heroic Actions and Attitudes by People I Know.

  • My late mother. She overcame intense shyness, some anxiety and being deaf in one ear, to eventually make her way into a new group of friends and social circles when Dad’s promotion at work brought us to Sydney leaving behind her family and all she knew. Dad told me recently that she did not want to make that move. I understood that from my own experiences in 2014-2015.

  • My eldest granddaughter. She’s someone who has overcome (and continues to monitor and do well) a serious life-changing auto-immune condition. She had managed it with support from her Mum of course but as anyone with a serious  health condition knows, it is UP to you…always. Onya Miss J.

  • My youngest granddaughter. Turning 6 very soon, her way of arriving in the world set the scene for future heroic and an attitude determination. A breech baby who refused to be turned, so Mum gave birth naturally (under safe conditions) and then when she broke her wrist a year ago, took the hospitalisation, surgery, and recovery in her stride. So cool….about it, I mean!

 

  • My late paternal grandmother. She fell in love, during World War 1, in England, with a Scottish-born soldier from Australia, recovering in a hospital near her home. She left everything and everyone she knew to get on a War Bride ship to sail to Australia. She always hoped to go back home to visit but circumstances of poverty prevented that. Became a mum to 4 by the time she was in her 30s, and it was the Depression. Sadly, her husband died of injuries in a workplace accident. She may never have liked her life after that but she was heroic enough to see it through, dying of old age in 1985.

 

  • My husband. Shhhh. I looked at the list and thought, I have no men on it. He is heroic in so much he does and is to me and our family. Early, medical retirement aged 30 was not how life should have been for him, and his family, but he, over time, made some great opportunities come his way to improve his health, our lives together and more. He is quiet, self-effacing but every day, in often debilitating chronic pain, he makes the most of each waking moment. He makes me laugh every.single.day.

And then, there are the Women of Courage featured here.

Back in 2019 I heard Jane Caro speak at Newcastle Writers Festival about her latest book Accidental Feminists. After that, I realised I knew many, many women would could share their own stories of courage if they were prepared to. More said yes than no. Then over 2019 and into 2020 over 50 posts were published here.

I am selecting a few, where I see heroic actions and attitudes went hand in hand in the courage of those women. I honour each and every woman’s story.

Debbie Harris’  Story.

From her post, back in 2019, here is her story. It tells itself. Her blog is here.

“We all need to be brave in our own way and make the most of what life throws at us.  It’s funny that anyone who gets a bravery award says they didn’t feel brave they just did what they had to do at the time.  Those were my exact words when I was given the award”.

Deb Morton’s Story.

Deb’s second son, is friend and author Rick Morton. His latest book “My Year of Living Vulnerably” is a must-listen/read. His facebook page has more. I am in awe of his words and more. Her story, awful as it is, is here. I so appreciate Deb’s involvement with this.

“I am a better person for what I have gone through , I am so lucky that my little daughter saved me , the fact that she needed me , helped, I thank God every day she came into my life and I know that I have passed on to her the ability to deal with whatever life throws at her, she is a hardworking and capable person that I can be proud of!”

 

Jane Caro’s Story.

In her earlier book, and as part of her story,  Jane wrote of her anguish when her first child (now very well adult teacher & Mum herself) was very sick in the Children’s Hospital in Camperdown and how a doctor’s words, below helped. Follow Jane here.

I asked for help (as going to therapy had taught me to do) and spoke to neo-natologist and grief counsellor Dr Peter Barr. He said these three sentences to me that began to crack the carapace of anxiety I had been living behind. “There’s nothing special about you, there’s nothing special about Polly (my daughter). Terrible things can happen, and they can happen to anyone. Safety is an illusion, danger is reality.”

Catching up with Jane Caro: April 2019.

 

 

By the way, IF you would like to share YOUR story, I would be happy to send you the 5 questions…let me know via an email to

denyse@ozemail.com.au as I see no reason why I cannot have some more Women of Courage posts into 2021.

DELIGHTED to ANNOUNCE: 2021 will have a series of Women of Courage.

After April, there will be more stories to share.

This is what I wrote today to quite a few women who I follow on twitter, many of whom I have known for some years:

Hello

In 2019 and into 2020 I had a series of posts written by women, answering 5 questions from me about being courageous. Given recent events here in Australia, we know women’s voices need to be heard more. I am asking you, would you be interested in taking part in 2021 series.. It can be using your name or anonymously.

Do let me know YES or NO…and if it’s a yes, your best contact email please.

Thank you,

Denyse Whelan

The page here takes you to the 56 stories already shared.

https://www.denysewhelan.com.au/women-of-courage/

 

 

Goodness me, with this post we are 1/4 of the way through 2021.

Make of that what you will!

If you celebrate the coming Easter festival, may it be enjoyable.

I know teachers (parents and kids) in N.S.W. schools are looking forward to end of Term One and some holiday time.

Denyse.

Link Up #233

Life This Week. Link Up #233

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 14/51 Self Care Stories #2. 5 Apr.

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CATastrophe: Flooding Rains. #SundayStills. #13. 38/2021.

CATastrophe: Flooding Rains. #SundayStills. #13. 38/2021.

This week’s post is brought to you by a non-cat owner…and I believe they own you from what I know…and I understand that #13 can be unlucky and black cats can bring fortune so perhaps I can be forgiven for taking the  original prompt about respect the cat day from Terri here and her friend from Always Write now caring for Sunday Stills over the next 2 weeks.

News update: whilst the rains have stopped. Sun is back, sadly the devastation remains. Some towns and suburbs on the fringes of N.S.W. capital city, Sydney remain impassible due to high levels of the local rivers and catchment. This is not new but it is never nice to have running muddy water through your house and have it sweep all your belongings away.

These photos from local media:

1.The Hawkesbury: a flood plain before the Blue Mountains start.

2. The Windsor Bridge: recently re-built to be “flood proof”….on the Hawkesbury River. No, it wasn’t.

 

Source: abc.net.au

source: The Hawkesbury Gazette

 

 

Catastrophe is affecting every town, village, city and remote areas on the New South Wales Coastline as I write this post. Unprecedented Autumn rains, combined with already healthy dam levels and water systems made for the awful, sudden and very wet times.

  • Figures for amounts of rain have broken rainfall records held for decades.
  • Watching the nightly news and keeping up with feeds on social media the areas concerned, most familiar to me as a long time resident of this state…having had holidays in some areas, lived in others and taught in schools in many.
  • We are safe, dry and relatively unaffected.
  • We did not venture out of the house because of the damage caused by rain making potholes and familiar roads covered with water.

Signs everywhere.

DO NOT DRIVE THROUGH when road is covered…and of course, there are always those who do, and volunteers are called out to rescue them. Sadly one person in N.S.W. died whilst trying to drive in the dark and did not see the effects of rising waters on the road.

source: The Australian

My photos for Sunday Stills are, where I can, shown with comparison pictures of familiar places.

A day or so before the weather set in…pretty dramatic clouds!

Canton Beach: before the rains

 

During and after the rains when I ventured out.

Lakes Rescue Base. Before the rains. Note the jetty.

 

No jetty to be seen! Taken from road above and road was completely flooded below.

 

Budgewoi: Bridge at Mackenzie Reserve. The grounds here were completely covered during the heavy rains.

My view back to Mackenzie Reserve a few days after the rains.

 

High on the hill at Wyong, looking east to see Racecourse flooded.

 

After almost a week, this happened late in the afternoon…..

I hope that some of the levels of rain affected areas can be appreciated through these.

I also send my best to those who read here and know of people affected by the devastation…living in Australia is a place of droughts and flooding rains alright.

Next week I know the prompt for #sundaystills is volunteer and I have that one sorted!

Denyse.

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Telling My Story.Chapter Twenty Two. 2016-16 May 2017. Part 1/2. 37/2021.

Telling My Story.Chapter Twenty Two. 2016- 16 May 2017. Part 1/2. 37/2021.

The backstory first:

Well over a hundred three years ago ….I thought it was time, seeing I had a blog, to start writing my story. It was on advice from a blogging friend, now published author that I did. Then, for a long time I did not. Because cancer was diagnosed.

Nevertheless, I eventually returned to the story and now I am at Chapter Twenty Two. And as with other posts, I am making it Parts 1 & 2. 

So, in keeping with my ethical approach to all things, I am making the chapters about MY recollections to various changes in life for me, and us, and life as we knew it. I hope I can continue sharing the story without any intentionally negative or hurtful references to others who are in my life as friends and family members. All of the stories to date found here.

And with this chapter, another photo…taken this year overlooking the harbour at Dobroyd near where I grew up.

Beginning 2016.

In my recent two-part Chapter 21 here and here, I outlined the emotional and physical health challenges I faced and was doing my best to both manage and understand.

This, for practical me, was very hard as the emotional roller coaster of my life often exacerbated the Irritable Bowel Syndrome and then that played into my negative thinking about myself …..and so on.

Not easy. For Me.

And of course, for my husband who was studying counselling part-time, working as a volunteer for two charities and doing renovations at his brother’s too. When I look at this, and he and I have chatted about it since, loneliness was sometimes part of the problem for me.

I made a change to this blog, and formalised the categories into one for each day, and launched Denyse Whelan Blogs, thanks to my dear friend Tanya and her patience and creativity along with my tech man, Craig. I was determined that staying connected and accountable every day to SOMETHING outside myself would in fact, help ground me in some ways.

It did.

Look, I am still here! And the categories are not used like this so much now but I liked how I got on with the changes! Back then too, there were around 4 weekly Australian based link ups!

A Few Celebrations And Not So Good Times.

We celebrated our 45 years of marriage with our family. Our adult children and their children. It was the first time we had all come together in around a year. That was very special.

We also heard awful news early in that same year that was both shocking and impactful on our family, particularly for two people we love very much. So much I cannot say and would not.

However, I did take it all pretty badly. That’s me. I feel. I was already rather anxious but this news did not help. I also felt conflict about it and used my time with my GP and psychologist to talk more.

Over time, of course, we continued to share the love and support within the family for those people but it still remained a wedge for a while for me. These years down the track as I write, things are better but will never be perfect. Life, hey.

We cared for grandkids on special overnight and holidays stays and whilst I loved it, my anxiety levels being high, I could not relax enough to enjoy things. The little people I had cared for back in Sydney were growing and changing and trying to keep myself well when they were there was fine but anticipation and afterwards would bring on bouts of nasty diarrhoea (thanks I.B.S.)

Travelling to Sydney for a first birthday was a mental struggle for me but we did it. I actually loved it and having time, again, with our grandchildren was always so special. However, there were undercurrents of things not being too well within the families and we tried to let those worries go. They eventually would be made known but not for some time. I cannot add any more than that. However, as I am writing now, matters are far more settled and at ease with us.

With birthdays and Christmas we tried as we could, to entertain during school holidays or a weekend and it was always good to see everyone, and for me, Grandma, to do her best with cakes and spoiling with gifts.

My Health….still a bother. 

All the time, with me, was a tension and anxiety I felt and knew, and even if I understood it, found it a challenge to live with but here’s what I am like. I do what I can, with what I can.

I read,

I studied,

I learned,

I did courses about I.B.S.,

Mindfulness, Self-Compassion, Art, Mandala-Making

and I got out most days (when I.B.S. was quiet) to take photos, walk on the beach and perhaps interact with people at the shops.

I saw my friendly G.P. regularly who tried, over time, with some different medications to help me but nothing did. She was a great cheerleader though and her encouragement was good.

I even wrote this on a community page: I was searching for people who might get what I was writing about and I did get loving support. However as I know too well, we do end up working things out for ourselves.

Long time commenter & poster but first time ‘admitting my troubles & needing some advice/support’ … thanks in advance for reading!

I’m 67, been retired from work (happily) & life ‘should’ feel better than this. I’ve been a pretty anxious person (worrier etc) all my life & at times Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS – Diarrheoa) has been part of life too.

Over 2 years ago, we sold our house in Sydney, paid out mortgage etc, found a rental house we like on Central Coast & left our much-loved adult families (g’kids too) behind. I also stopped all my work in education after 44 yrs.

Now, I “thought” I had nailed this! Yep. What we wanted to do. Freedom etc. My emotions disagreed & that’s where I have been falling down, picking myself up, x 10000 (it feels like) since Jan 2015.

I’ve got a fantastic listening hub who “gets me”, a great GP who helps me manage symptoms of IBS & a psychologist who is working with me on plans of ‘exposure’ therapy to learn to live with & accept IBS.

I am fortunate not have a diagnosis of either anxiety or depression but when IBS lurks (just about every week if not more frequently) then I get both sad & upset because of it. I take no medication other than imodium if I have to.

I do not know “who I am” any more because of my increasing fear to venture out to socialise, drive any distance on M1 or even have a cuppa somewhere.

Everything I read & understand about both anxiety-related conditions & IBS says I have to “accept” it and get on with life.

Right now, this seems hard.. too hard.. and I’m floundering. I do know I have determination & strength because I’ve rallied myself many times.

Do you know that around 20-25% of the population has IBS & it’s a functional condition & no treatment is available? I’m fortunate it is nothing more serious… I know.

What I wondered tonight, is anyone else out there like me and how can we help each other through some of these tough(er) times?

I am/was always searching for how to make me better to understand myself.

Weight loss: a mixed blessing. I was unwell.

Did What I Could To Help Myself.

I have all the books to prove it. And whilst all courses and speaking to professionals helped, the one thing that eluded me was how to live with irritable bowel syndrome and its unpredictability.

I tried writing.

I made hundreds of journal entries.

I did an on-line course twice to help understand IBS.

I read and completed a book with self-help ideas.

 

This List Was Something I Kept for Me in 2016.

Here are 20 things you can control:

1. Talking to yourself positively

2. The way you talk to those around you

3. The amount of physical exercise you give your body

4. The food you nourish your body with

5. Your level of honesty

6. Whether you are a listener or a talker

7. How often you smile every day

8. The time you spend worrying about irrelevant things

9. The amount of love you give your children

10. Whether you see the glass half empty or half full

11. How mindful you want to be

12. How you make other people feel about themselves

13. Having a generous heart

14. Allowing yourself to ask for help

15. Offering help in return

16. Whether you judge people or accept people

17. Having an open heart to receive true love

18. Whether you believe in yourself

19. Your words

20. Your thoughts

 

Self help, not helpless.

I was unwell yet wanted so much to be well. I was caught between being embarrassed about my anxious gut and self and wanting to get out and enjoy this life I had longed for in retirement.

Some things I tried (and still do!) were these:

Our Family Life At The Time.

As at the beginning of this year, things did not proceed comfortably for the remainder of 2016 and into 2017 due to changes in family dynamics and relationships. Again, I say no more. Other than this: my heart may be broken yet mended over time. This, fortunately, is true and for me…so grateful. But living with it and through it was something I found very disconcerting. We had limited contact with family members and I travelled far less to Sydney because of my health and anxiety about I.B.S.

Nothing “I” could do to change anything was a lesson I learn(ed) over and over again. Having some faith and trust that matters can be resolved and worked out did, over time, prove to be true but it took a serious illness (mine) for that to happen. More in the next part of the story. Mindfulness and the works of Pema Chodron, and Jack Kornfield and My Headspace app all helped. I did a lot of meditation outside and inside.

 

And What About That Sore Mouth?

It did not get better. I did all I was asked by my (new in early 2016) dentist. I was given instructions for better cleaning, managing so called candida, trying ideas for eating/drinking cooler food as mouth was red on the roof (palate). I am a compliant patient. Yet, some of the treatments were making my I.B.S. diarrheoa worse. Sigh. My G.P. did not have any more ideas. However, “I” must have because diary entries as the year went on towards early 2017 included:

  • I wonder if this is cancer
  • Sore mouth – gums and possible filling breaking. Know I will have to see gum specialist.
  • GP says “mouth inflamed but it’s not cancer”
  • Dentist: “In two months since I last saw you I see pus in overgrown gums over the bridge of teeth, so off to see gum specialist”
  • BUT I said, “back in early January 2017 I want to know what is under this bridge so can you take it out?”

His answer, in short, was conservative and no. It would as you will read in Part Two of this Chapter, happen.

Thank you for reading and commenting on these Telling My Story posts. Yes, they can raise some powerful emotions for me but I also am aware of how far I have come in this relatively short period.

Next time with be Part Two.

I will be taking over my Thursday posts with these now over the next months to enable me to get up to date.

Denyse.

Linking up here with Leanne for Lovin Life Linky

Joining with Natalie here for Weekend Coffee Share.

 

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Good. 12/51.#LifeThisWeek. 36/2021.

Good. 12/51.#LifeThisWeek. 36/2021.

A GOOD shot of the STORM at the beach where I went to feel GOOD after a few days of illness.

GOOD.

What comes to mind for you?

It’s a subjective word for me. I have used it that way many a time myself as a teacher, a mother, and a grandmother:

  •  “be a good boy and stand over there while we get the car”…..
  • “come on, who’s being good today? I will be finding people for a special reward”
  • “if everyone is good by the time we get to lunch today, there will be a special time in the afternoon for free play”

You get the picture?

But just in case.

Here’s another form, that was often used on me. I was the “GOOD” girl, in the family. Meaning what? Apparently my father tells me because I slept better than my younger brother.

Then as life went on, as a girl, into teen and becoming a woman, I was told to be good, behave, and given my “eldest child” nature, of course I did.

Sigh.

But is that what good is?

Sometimes it can be far more general, and less likely for me to get heated about the oft used term…to me, to flatter….“you are such a good girl”.

In my head NO I AM not…and anyway, that’s a story for my memoir….oh right, yes, so it seems I have already started. A long time ago.

Back in early 2017 I took the words of this woman, Maya Angelou and found the courage to start my memoir, Telling My Story.

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/maya_angelou_133956

I’m convinced of this: Good done anywhere is good done everywhere. For a change, start by speaking to people rather than walking by them like they’re stones that don’t matter. As long as you’re breathing, it’s never too late to do some good. Maya Angelou.

 

Quotes on GOOD.

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/william_shakespeare_109527?src=t_good

 

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/marcel_marceau_101346

 

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/anne_frank_109060?src=t_good

 

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/martin_luther_king_jr_390143?src=t_good

Good as a description.

I have always considered it pretty bland. Somewhere between excellent and not.

I admit, I would not have liked it as a comment teachers wrote on reports on their students back in the day…because “what does good mean?”

Mediocre.

Somewhere in the middle.

Is my inner cynic showing?

Do you know how many movies there are with the word “good” in them? I do not have a total because I got bored but for example:

A Few Good Men

And then there are songs:

Good Golly Miss Molly

And TV series:

The Good Place

And shops:

The Good Guys

Is there anything else I might add?

No. Thank you.

That’s GOOD then because I have finished.

Good to go?

Yes.

Press Publish.

Thanks, Denyse, it’s been good working with you.

Ha!

Who thinks up these optional prompts?

Ooops. Sorry, it’s Denyse.

Good Night.

Good Day.

Good Bye!

P.S. Was there any good from this post for you? Anything at all?

Maybe this: My GOOD mantra:

Link Up #232

Life This Week. Link Up #232

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next Week’s Optional Prompt: Heroic. 13/51 29 March 2021.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Green of Spring In Autumn. #SundayStills. #12. 35/2021.

Green of Spring In Autumn. #SundayStills. #12. 35/2021.

As I am loving to do, I played with the words for this week’s prompt for the Photo Challenge from Terri called #SundayStills. Her blog is here so come and check out the posts, particularly those that relate to the photos because you too might join in. It’s now my 12th week! Loving it.

Did anyone say “green?”

Green, dear colour I love, is a mix of BLUE and YELLOW and makes such a range of greeeeeens that I can barely show you them all.

I do know how much I love being in areas where there is a lot of GREEN.

I know too, that I have a selection of GREENS in my paints, crayons and pencils.

So, how to creatively approach “spring green” was to look at the greenery around my local neighbourhood in Autumn.

Enjoy the scenery. It’s good for us.

 

So much growth by the lake seen on my walk

 

Local Shopping Centre: a wall of greenery.

 

Vine taking hold on a tree by the river.

 

Norfolk pine in a yard bordering the lake.

 

Spiky succulent type plants that abound around here.

 

A sneak peek over a fence to capture a hibiscus

 

On my Walk In Wyong last week, I saw Autumn changing the Spring/Summer Green Leaves.

 

Lots of green..of different colours and types….

 

Through the green, a duck family rests by the river.

But what I haven’t captured is that Spring Green IS a colour from the many lists of paint colours and shades. It’s more of a colour like this:

S P R I N G       G R E E N   or maybe this……..spring green or…maybe it is in the eye of the beholder and the paint mixer.

How about you?

Do you find green a soothing colour?

Denyse.

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Who’s A Volunteer? 34/2021.

Who’s a Volunteer? 34/2021.

It’s said, by many, that when you get to retire from paid work you might like to consider being a volunteer. I agreed with that notion.

Are you a volunteer?

Maybe you are not even retired but still a volunteer.

Here’s something about what this has been for me, and with a few notes about my husband’s experiences.

Retired Couple. 2015.

From this Australian government organisation in 2015 here is this.

           Definition: Volunteering is time willingly given for the common good and without financial gain.

The following areas are not considered to meet each of the core requirements of volunteering (‘without financial gain’, ‘willingly given’ and ‘for the common good’) and hence are not included in this definition of volunteering. It is acknowledged that many of these have a constructive, positive and vital role in society and may exist alongside volunteering and / or provide a pathway into volunteering.

• Direct family responsibilities are excluded. It is recognised that direct familial relationships vary for different people and social groups and so this is open to individual interpretation. In addition, foster carers have many similarities with volunteers, but because of the family relationship, these are outside this definition of volunteering.

• A number of programs are highly structured, with fixed requirements and provide options of volunteering type activities but with limited choice and/or varying types of in-built financial or reward outcomes. These vary widely and are excluded from this definition. Examples include:  Compulsory educational service learning (where students are required to volunteer as part of a course) Mandated court orders including community service and fines  Internships  Formal work experience / vocational placements  Mandatory government programs  Limited choice labour market government programs

• Volunteering requires a donation of time. Other types of donating such as giving money or materials and donating blood are not considered volunteering, although it is acknowledged there is a time element required in these forms of donating

My Experiences.

These started around the time I was in partial retirement from around 52. Later, they were when I was over 65.

  • With caring for our grandchildren, over time, for no financial reward ever but the joy of memories made. However, see above, ‘not about volunteering.’

 

  • teaching English in women’s homes in the community. A one-to-one experience, for which I had to do some training, at no cost to me, and also provide materials for the women. I enjoyed it and I think the two women became more confident over time of having an English speaker helping them I found it a bit too one-sided as the women, who were at home because of child-rearing were not completing even the smallest of ‘between times’ work. 

 

  • helping in Smith Family Parramatta  office prior to Christmas one year taking phone calls from people who wanted to register for the Smith Family Christmas hampers. This meant I had to drive into Parramatta, park my car, and attend the office for about 4 hours. I took down details and recorded them so families could be included by Christmas. It was quite boring for someone who had only recently ran a school but I also needed “not” to have responsibility to assist my mental health recovery. That role finished abruptly when I managed to break my ankle getting out of the car at home after a shift there. No, I did not pursue work related claim.

 

  • becoming a volunteer at local art gallery did not even reach training stage. Once we arrived on the Central Coast, I wanted to settle in (as I thought then) with some busy activities. Trouble was that emotionally I was not up to this role’s training requirements (I.B.S. would strike any time) and I also add that by the time I decided to step away from this, I realised how ‘cliquey’ the other volunteers were and felt excluded anyway. I was new to the area and ‘felt’ I was an outsider.

 

  • looking after ethics program in local area when we first moved to the  Central Coast seemed like a win/win for me as I needed some work of a productive kind while my husband already had his weeks in retirement sorted. I liked the people I met at the schools and was already helping get new people on board to be teachers when I felt something that did not seem quite right. You see, I felt conflict. I am, NSW teacher/principal at heart, and this program was independent to schools and I could see a conflict of interest  that I could not brush off. I sensed, and heard for good reason that it was an Us vs Them issue and I could not continue. I tried to let them have this feedback but it was a political hot potato and I left.

 

  • teaching mindful colouring was something I was passionate about in the midst of my first year of doing my best to settle to a new way of life. The local independent bookshop was happy to support my plan where I would supply all materials and I just needed a space. A local cafe owner said yes to that as we would be buying coffees. And off we went. We had 4 the first week. Then down to 3. Sadly, I was not prepared to continue because of this. I really did think this would work. No it did not. 

 

  • creating bookmarks for the charity The Big Hug Box. This was a passion for me as I was using my distraction activities of art, designs and more to create bookmarks as part of my post-cancer treatments. I’d be helping this new 2018 charity with my donations of goods and time. I also donated more than 300 bookmarks over time and took part in a packing day. Still on call if needed but I stopped the bookmarks.

 

  • teaching mindful mandala making and colouring because I wanted to share the ways in which this is helpful for our emotional health. I instigated this idea through my local library. Honestly, just as well I have determination because so many stumbling blocks were put in my way… no personal indemnity insurance ( and no, I was not going to pay for it) and then, oh, you would have to do our volunteer course to do this here, and no we don’t have any training coming up. I was ready to give up, when the local librarian – all part of the huge council area – said, you can have the space and I will say I am the organiser. Truly. Anyway, it went well over 4 weeks. I provided everything. I did offer it again, and waited in the empty room on two occasions and after that, I did not return.

 

  • I also offered to a women’s shelter that I could do this course in mindful colouring if they thought there was a need. They said yes, but without my person indemnity insurance, I could not start. So, another loss.

 

  • I also supplied Chris O’Brien Lifehouse with books of my designs and many pieces of media for in-patient art and visitors’ mindful colouring as it was a practical contribution I could make as I lived 2 hours away.

 

  • I am an ‘unofficial’ supporter  of Public Education via my social media and other presence and it’s one way I like to stay supportive and connected. 

 

  • In 2017 I was diagnosed with a head and neck cancer, and in a way to help me understand more about my cancer (there are many types of head and neck cancer) my two surgeons directed me to what was then called Beyond Five. Over time, I learned more about Beyond Five and the almost 100% volunteer support it requires the website going, changing and being of use. About a year into my recovery, I shared my story with Beyond Five, and then following my head and neck team’s assurance I seemed to be doing the right thing with my social media and other messages, I was invited to become an  Ambassador for what is now called Head and Neck Cancer Australia.

 

  • Being a member of the local Central Coast Head and Neck Cancer support group which meets monthly and being a contributor to sharing knowledge and awareness to others affected as patients or carers or family members.

 

  • I was very pleased to know I could be a mentor for Public Education via another way, supporting a student with a funded scholarship. However, over the time of being accepted, and then getting ready to help this person, I was not confident of the ways in which the program was run. I wanted to feel I could find support as I was learning the program via on-line systems but with little to no communication, I have declined their offer. Sadly, with some organisations this can be what happens.

 

  • My blog has been a voluntary activity. I have been able to write, share, find friends from this amazing medium. I do it all on my time, when I can, and it’s a great volunteer role because “I” am in charge of this one. My blog is over 10 years old now and brings me a great deal of personal reward.

My Husband’s Experiences: not all as a retiree! The last 3 were.

  • P&C President at our local primary school for 7 years our son was there.
  • Scouts President whilst our son was part of cubs.
  • Volunteer Teacher of Children in The Westmead Kids’ Hospital.
  • Safety House Co-ordinator in our neighbourhood in the 1980s -1990s- remember those?
  • Local Community Progress Association President.
  • President Local Drama Society in a Country Town.
  • Musical Director of performances over 3 years in that town.
  • President Ecumenical Council at local Church in the country town
  • National Charity Telephone Crisis Support.
  • National Charity  Face to Face Counsellor.
  • Driver: Cancer Patients To Appointments.

Some feedback we would LOVE to give to organisations where we no longer volunteer. Do not, please, take our service or time for granted. In my husband’s case, he PAID hundreds of dollars towards his training to be National Charity TSC…and as he was also doing a University course to become a trained counsellor, there were costs there. However, he was pleased to be able to help and learn via his supervisors how he was proceeding. This is when it becomes tricky. Those ‘people’ in charge of volunteers are paid and for some, the power of the position became a lack of respect in dealings over time. It does not take too much guessing to know why volunteers may leave. In my husband’s case, he did leave to become my carer as I had just had my cancer diagnosis. In another instance, the driving role, the system was so poorly organised on some days he would leave our place at 8.00 a.m. and not return till 6.00 p.m. because of poor planning for patients’ needing being collected, taken to the hospital and then collected.

He no longer performs any volunteer roles. 

 

Some further comments about volunteering here.

https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/retirement-life/5-amazing-benefits-of-volunteering-in-retirement

1. Stay active and engaged with life

2. Helping others makes you feel happy

3. Make new social connections

4. Have new experiences and learn new skills

5. Change someone’s life – change your own

 

My husband and I also ask each other, is it because we have both been leaders in our work places that we find it hard(er) to be a volunteer….or maybe that is not the reason. We can also see that organisations who need volunteers  to assist their services must go through quite a bit themselves in judging suitability and more. It’s perhaps the reason why I wrote this post. I was so sad to relinquish the mentor role but I also knew, that understanding my need to clarity and certainty in doing this role well, I could not, if I had not a great deal of faith in the organisation’s representative. 

This post comes under a few of my topics, including stories about ageing which I write about from time to time. I know you do not have to be a retiree to volunteer but most of my activities were then. 

Are you a volunteer?

Tell us more.

Denyse.

Linking up here with Leanne for Lovin Life Linky

Joining with Natalie here for Weekend Coffee Share.

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Floral. 11/51. #LifeThisWeek. 33/2021.

Floral. 11/51. #LifeThisWeek. 33/2021.

So, dear readers and bloggers, have you realised yet that these optional prompts are in

A

L

P

H

A

B

E

T

I

C

A

L

order?

  • I like lists.
  • I like order.
  • So, in choosing the optional prompts that were not covered by Share Your Snaps, Self Care Stories, Taking Stock, I did the list and selected just ONE word and made the list alphabetical.
  • Teacher me likes this.

FLORAL.

Until I considered how to use this prompt it took me a while to realise I enjoy floral patterns, in the garden, in designs I make and in clothes I wear. I enjoy colour, mixed together in harmony, and even those in contrast. So, in photographic evidence here are some photos!

Nature:

 

Creative Art:

 

And in clothing:

Late 2017 into 2018 I did “outfit of the day’ posts to boost morale as I recovered from surgeries. Here I was after a 3rd reconstruction inside my mouth (early Feb 2018) and a week of pics. Smile was still a long way off….not for another 6+ months but I did not know that then.

2020 and a smile in my floral top!

 

And some floral joy I made: 

I hope you are enjoying the optional prompts if you use them.

Thanks for joining in.

Denyse.

Link Up #231

 

Life This Week. Link Up #231

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next Week’s Optional Prompt: Good. 12/31 22 March 2021.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Photos In Wyong: From Colour to Black & White. #SundayStills.#11. 32/2021.

Walk In Wyong: From Colour to Black & White. #SundayStills.#11. 32/2021.

Each week I am writing and posting here for inclusion in the #SundayStills from this blogger and kind person, Terri from here. I now post on a Sunday!

From sometime in my post-head and neck cancer BIG surgery timeline, in the latter part of 2017, I began to visit Wyong, a regional and busy place here on the northern end of the N.S.W. Central Coast. It’s about a 12 minute drive from home. I usually only visit on Sundays when it is far less busy from weekday traffic and businesses being open. I have a ritual of getting a coffee made by the kind lady who I have featured here before. I also take a walk around the area, keeping mindful to stay safe as I have been approached for money a couple of times.

Wyong is a very old country town, and I am mindful of its history in the area’s agriculture,  fishing industries, dairy farming, horse training and breeding and of course the original inhabitants from the Darkinjung people.

I took my walk, and looked for interesting images that would look better in black and white, and here they are. Come on my walk!

 

From the elevated carpark….the town centre is quite hilly, this was the view to the sky which turned on some amazing clouds.

 

Before I left to carpark I captured the Chapman Building. It’s located in Alison Road, where I was about to walk, and is now used for a few different purposes but ‘back in the day’ it was a general store for the area. There is a coffee shop underneath. Not the one I go to!

Down the hill towards Wyong Train Station but this was a far as I needed to go. I liked the angles, the crispness of the lines, and behind this fence you find….

This. The former Police Station and/or residence. Now, a real estate office. Again the lines of the building look great in B&W.

As I turned to walk back up towards the park area, where there are still many blooms, I had to capture this light pole. There are some lights like this, with solar on top I think. This one looks a wee bit dirty thanks to the B&W and spiders!

This sandstone retaining wall is strong enough to hold many plants, and trees. The Central Coast area is well-known for its sandstone and I would be certain this was locally mined.

I didn’t climb up to the park for floral photos this time but captured these two from the garden at street level and loved their features even more in B&W.

Now I looked for interest and the recycle bin, in black with cut outs appealed. The sign for access to phone lines, set in the footpath and the phone booth did too.

 

I was almost at the shopping centre ready for my coffee…and this was my final image. So much strength in these lines and angles.

Do you look at and different angles and lines when walking around familiar places?

I like to notice those differences.

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