Wednesday 28th October 2020

Archives for August 2020

Share Your Snaps #7. 35/51. #LifeThisWeek. 70/2020.

Share Your Snaps #7. 35/51. #LifeThisWeek. 70/2020.

To new-to-this-linkup bloggers:

W E L C O M E !

Add your post, old or new, on or off prompt below. Come back to comment here too.

You can be assured of a  visit from me to your blog later in the week, and for others who link up, popping in to read and comment too.

 

Creating with Purpose.

This is, and needs to be, my current mantra. Sigh.

 

In the meantime, two ways in which I can help my recovery!

Using a background I made, added embellishments and words from The Guest House by Rumi.

 

When I need to be focussed on ‘just one thing’ and become mindful, it is to art I turn. I made the patterns and then over time I coloured the spaces.

Parents AND Grandparents. 

Time? Where does it go? 49 years ago: us as new parents. Living in a farm cottage in the middle of a paddock near Narrabri and teaching at two small country schools.

 

Recent and most welcomed visit in COVID times from our son and his four children. They are growing up fast!!

 

Education Week 2020 was in August and as a long-time educator, student and now supporter in retirement I made a focus of ‘days gone by’ for Education Week Instagram posts.

Back Here Again. Gosford Private Hospital.

 

Needed: wound debridement and attaching a VAC system to heal wound from previous surgery. Overnight stay.

 

Badges With Meaning For Me.

Member of NSW Teachers Federation 49 years and Member of NSW Primary Principals Association for 5 years. Now a Retired Member.

 

Food! So Important For Us All. 

Eating is forever changed since my oral cancer surgery and mouth reconstruction but when I find a meal I can eat: win!!

Have you shared some snaps recently?

Denyse.

Link Up #204

Life This Week. Link Up #204

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 36/51 Taking Stock #4 7.9.2020

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Link Up Here! Mondays. #LifeThisWeek. 69/2020.

Link Up Here! Mondays. #LifeThisWeek. 69/2020.

https://www.denysewhelan.com.au

 

 

Both Sue from here and Leanne from here have been hosting a great link up called MidLife Share The Love since January 2018 and now it is closing. Thanking them both for their kindness and caring over the years and with their permission, I am writing a blog post to let readers here know my Link Up Called #LifeThisWeek continues….

What Is Life This Week About?

In September 2016 I began the link-up (or linky as some call it) on my blog: denysewhelan.com.au

It’s been almost EVERY single Monday since then.

Here is the first post which explains more and why!

I called it Life This Week as it’s a very general name and bloggers can choose to link up an original post of theirs, which is a previously published one or a new one.

To make it more fun and to add some direction for me and others who follow the link up, I set up OPTIONAL prompts for each week.

They are shown in advance on the home page, and here they are until the end of 2020.

35/51 Share Your Snaps #7 31.8.2020

36/51 Taking Stock #4 7.9.2020

37/51 Remembering Sydney 2000. 14.9.2020

38/51 Healthy. 21.9.2020.

39/51 Grateful For This. 28.9.2020

40/51 Share Your Snaps #8 5.10.2020

41/51 I Have Never. 12.10.2020

42/51 Self-Care Stories #6. 19.10.2020

43/51 Inside 26.10.2020

44/51 Outside 2.11.2020

45/51 Share Your Snaps #9 9.11.2020

46/51 Exams. 16.11.2020

47/51 Taking Stock #5 23.11.2020

48/51 Self-Care Stories #7 30.11.2020

49/51 Lucky 7.12.2020

50/51 Share Your Snaps #10 14.12.2020

51/51 Own Choice. 21.12.2020

#LifeThisWeek Returns on Monday 4 January 2021. 

 

There are no better ways, for me, to connect with more bloggers from Australia and around the world that this regular link up of mine.

 

Here’s what I say about ‘joining in’….kind of a rules thing I guess!

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a ‘bloggy thing’ to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

I always respond to your comments on my blog post on Life This Week.

I keep the link up open from (Australian Eastern Standard Time) Monday at 5.00. a.m until Wednesday at 5.00 p.m.

I then comment on your blog post and share my appreciation for the bloggers who link up on twitter.

Do come on board and join in when you can. You are only asked to comment on my blog post and a few others if you can. No link and leave, please! We love the conversations here on:

Life This Week

I do warmly invite you to share a blog post for Life This Week on a Monday going forward.

Take care and thank you to all who blog, comment and share…it really helps us keep connected!

Denyse.

Sharing this post here: and here….thank you!

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Self-Care Stories #5. Gratitude. 34/51. #LifeThisWeek. 68/2020.

Self-Care Stories #5. Gratitude. 34/51. #LifeThisWeek. 68/2020.

An update from Denyse: today I am having more surgery to manage some infection that has taken hold in an area of my abdominal wound from 21 July surgery. Sigh. However, I will be glad to get it done, and unlikely to pop back to comment until I am home. I should only be in overnight. Send all good healing wishes, please!! 

Writing about self-care is a regular optional prompt.

I wrote last time here about self-care in COVID-19 times.

The COVID-19 times are not going away any time soon, so this time I have broadened my view to remembering my word for 2020:

G R A T I T U D E

This blog post: so hopeful, and giving me (and readers) guidance on how I was going to find gratitude each day for:

3 6 6 D A Y S of 2 0 2 0.

Then mid-way through the year, quite a reality check! Here is what I wrote then…..

A word (or more) from me:

 

How did I, or have I, tried to find gratitude in each and every day to fulfil my goal of an instagram post every day?

I did, and have but on some days it was much harder than others.

These are but some of my gratitude-based photos (not all were shared on instagram) that remind me:

EVERY

SINGLE

DAY

of what I am grateful for.

So, my self-care remains in good form as long as I am also doing my utmost to find gratitude. It can be obscure but I am a determined person and like to think I see things through!

Now, how about a little self-care from me to you…via a short video taken last week at my favourite spot: Soldiers Beach carpark. Looking north to Norah Head Lighthouse.

Take care everyone one…self-care always first.

Denyse.

Link Up #203

Life This Week. Link Up #203

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 35/51 Share Your Snaps #7 31.8.2020

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Women Of Courage Series. #52. Stella. 67/2020.

Women Of Courage Series. #52. Stella. 67/2020.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid-May 2019: Wednesdays: each week until the series concludes in 2020.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

 

I welcome Stella, who is 70 years old, to share her story as a woman of courage. However, I also need to share that ‘we’ have known each other for decades. In fact we grew up in a similar area of the Northern Beaches in Sydney and ended up being in the same classes from time to time at Manly Girls’ High. We are both in this photo. Can you find us? This was an image I shared in N.S.W. Education Week a few weeks ago. Stella and I ‘found’ each other again via facebook and another friend from that time, who has shared her story too. Ann Thanks for the nostalgic trip!

Stella Shares Her Story In Her Words, Here. 

  • This year is the 20th anniversary of the scariest time in my life. I was 50, really healthy, working full time and bringing up my two teenagers. Life was good and I had no worries.

 

  • One afternoon after work, I lay down to read, and saw in the wardrobe mirror that I had a very swollen abdomen. It was big enough to make me head straight off the bed and to go down to the doctor.  He was very off-handed, and said “So you’ve gained weight – what do you expect ME to do about that ?”

 

  • Until that point I’d always been a very shy and diffident person, and his words would normally have made me apologise for wasting his time  – and gone home feeling stupid.  Which could have been a death sentence for me.

 

  • For once in my life, I knew that I had to be courageous and speak up, advocate for myself and demand that he  pay some attention.  He did that , and sent me for an ultrasound which revealed a very large malignant ovarian cancer.

 

  • Within 24 hours I was in the hospital and had had a very long and serious operation. A week later I started having chemotherapy.  I faced all of that alone, since I had downplayed the situation to my family. My Dad had recently died, and I couldn’t bear to tell Mum and my kids that I might be going on the same path.

 

  • I plucked up all my courage, and did the whole thing solo. Every day I would meditate, and go for walks around the hospital, thinking positive thoughts and just enjoying little things like a new flower growing in the ward garden. I read good poetry , words to give me courage to face another day. The staff remarked on how calm I was, but it was really courage which was keeping me in that serene frame of mind.

 

  • One night my doctor popped his head around my door and told me had news. All the results had come back and as far as he could see, my cancer was in remission. It was great news, and I was able to go home  and back to work without too much stress.  The courage which I’d found within myself on that first day, stayed with me and gave me a very positive outlook.

 

  • Since that experience, I’ve become a spokesperson for women with ovarian cancer. I also trained as a phone counsellor, talking to women who’d just been diagnosed with the disease. I think that the courage I found on that first day, gives me a good inspiration when I talk to women – encouraging them to dig deep to find their courage, to demand good treatment and good communication with their doctors.

 

  • Ovarian cancer used to be called “The Silent Killer” because women didn’t know they had it until it was too late. 80% of them used to die. I’m one of the fortunate 20% , and with some courage in my back pocket I can speak for those 80% of sisters who didn’t survive to tell the tale.

 

Stella Burnell 2020 .

 

https://www.ovariancancer.net.au/

https://www.facebook.com/OvarianCancerAustralia/

 

 

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

  • I’ve had many experiences where courage was needed – in my work as a nurse I’ve often had to pull up my “big girl pants” and tough it out, but it was really my own experience with cancer which used my courage to heal myself.

 

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

  • I’d say that since the day that I first got the diagnosis, I’ve never again been the shy and retiring person that I used to be. It was a defining moment and I often use it when talking to other women, to illustrate how courage can help you to assert yourself in health situations. I am no longer the “invisible older woman” but have found my voice and I help other women to find theirs.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

  • I learned that you don’t always need other people to support you, when the going gets tough. In the particular instance that I mention, I had to “fly solo” and in fact I found that it was easier because I didn’t have to be around other people. Solitude was a great healing factor !

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

  • Yes, I am. I found my courage at that time, and it stands me in good stead every day now.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

  • In a health situation like mine, I’d say that education is a great thing. If you find out everything you can – as scary as that can be – you will be able to face up to any eventuality with courage.

 

Thank you so much Stella, education is so important in keeping our health under some person control and if not, then to know who to go to for more help. You did this is so many ways and as I know, via the links above, have most likely helped many women who have faced a diagnosis of ovarian cancer.

Denyse.

 

 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends.

Copyright © 2020 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

 

 

 

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I Want. 33/51 #LifeThisWeek. 66/2020.

I Want. 33/51 #LifeThisWeek. 66/2020.

Last week I wrote this post: Why Did I Start A Blog?

Today I conclude the ‘Why I Blog” series with ‘I Want’ because that is essentially the ‘why’ of blogging for me.

I want:

  1. to connect with readers who visit this blog
  2. to stay relevant as a blogger 
  3. to post topics of interest with a range of my expertise and interest
  4. to contribute to conversations about a range of topics
  5. to be able to learn from others who blog
  6. to know that I am a blogger who is inclusive
  7. to be a blogging friend to those who link up often
  8. to see that my posts on all topics have relevance to my audience
  9. to visit others’ blogs and connect via commenting and support
  10. to continue writing, posting, commenting and sharing my blog posts with others for as long as my work is of interest to others and I am not feeling stale nor bored

It’s been a very big learning curve to be a blogger.

I say that because, for me, it was quite foreign to my world of work in education. Yet, as  determined person who does not eschew hard work, I did my best to blog for what I had found was my way:

Conversational

Informational – based on experience

Photo-centred

Stories shared

Difficult Topics Which May Be Helpful

Creativity and Art

Health & Mindfulness

After a huge move (literally) in our lives, from Sydney to the Central Coast at the beginning of 2015 I set myself a goal. To keep me focussed on “doing this one thing EVERY day”…. I wrote a blog post Every.Single.Day. of 2015. No-one read the posts bar me, until, I re-visited the best way to connect more broadly and that was:

L I N K  U P S.

Hosted by fellow bloggers.

Yay for that. I linked up posts for some time on the Annoyed Thyroid’s link up each weekend , Kylie Purtell’s on a Tuesday and Kirsty Russell on a Monday. Great news! I was meeting up with old friends and new. Right into 2016 and I continued…slightly decreasing my posts and relieved to do so.

I found I needed a good refresher of how this blog looked and made contact with an old Sydney friend, Tanya, who enriched the look and settings of the blog already set by my techie guy and that meant 2016 was even better. I made a commitment to blog almost every day under these topics:

I was having a good time, connecting and meeting new bloggers. Lots had just started blogging, others had left and there was talk of a linky being retired and I asked if I could, perhaps, with permission take over the Mondays with Life This Week. I got a lovely approval from my friend and in September this LINK UP kicked off….and is now #202!

I was also delighted to know there were link ups happening here (co-hosted) on Wednesdays  (sadly for me, this one is finishing up soon) and here on Thursdays. Thank you for your link ups! They are great places of connection.

I Want: to write my memoir.

I had been postponing the idea of writing a memoir of my life until a friend and blogger encouraged me to try writing the chapters in blog-type posts. I did this. Here is the first one. I was not to know it would be a while before the next one!!

I Want: to share awareness of head and neck cancer.

Those who have been here since then and before will know that things changed very fast for my life and priorities when I got a head and neck cancer diagnosis in May 2017. I did think long and hard before pressing publish on this but the love and support which came back to me proved why I love to blog and love my community. The post is here.

I Want: to promote and encourage education- self and others always.

I also told the story of how I like to learn…this was because as a life-long educator I was placed in the role of student at an adult crochet class and because of how poorly my needs were understood I never went back!

I Want: to feel well within myself and portray that confidently.

As an anti-dote to cancer treatments and letting myself be positively impact each day, I began a daily routine some 4 months into my cancer and started to ‘dress with purpose’. This became a photo on instagram each day…and then over time one big boost to my self-confidence when I had no upper teeth and was still in cancer-treatment mode. Here’s what this was about. 

I Want: to have women share their stories of courage.

From May 2019 I introduced a series to the blog for women I invited (or who self-invited) to share their stories: answering 5 questions. This series, Women of Courage continues….I am so pleased this has been a success. Many women have told me what it meant to share.

I Want: to show my appreciation to you, my readers, bloggers and friends. Some even joined me for my 70th birthday morning tea late in 2019. Many of you I may never met but already feel you are good friends. This blogging business is a great way for me, a relatively isolated retiree, to connect.

I Want: to continue blogging. Writing a post up to 2 times a week is good for my health and for my connections. Over time, I expect with fewer Women of Courage stories, my Wednesday posts will be a way to make some changes of direction if that’s what I choose.

This Is Why I Blog!

Thank you all. You have made a difference in my life.

Denyse.

Link Up #202

Life This Week. Link Up #202

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

* Please add just ONE post each week! NOT a link-up series of posts, thank you.

* Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not.

* Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do!

* Check out what others are up to: Leave a comment on a few posts, because we all love our comments, right!

* Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere, or on your sidebar or let others know somewhere you are linking up to this blog’s Life This Week.

*Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog & the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. These may include promotions, advertorials and any that are overly religious or political or in any way offensive  in nature.

* THANK you for linking up today! Next week’s optional prompt: 34/51 Self-Care Stories. #5. 24.8.2020

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Women Of Courage Series.#51. Anna. 65/2020.

Women Of Courage Series.#51. Anna. 65/2020.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid-May 2019: Wednesdays: each week until the series concludes in 2020.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

I’ve been following Anna on twitter for quite some time. She is an author of a number of books, see below, and is aged in her late 30s. I have learned a lot about Anna’s resilience and her vulnerabilities via her tweets because she tells things as they are. For her. Yet, she always has something kind to say about many. When I asked Anna to be part of the series, COVID19 was in its early stages of infiltration in Australia. Now, at the time of publication, Anna’s hometown of Melbourne, Victoria is doing this hard lock down for several weeks. Anna tweets about that and more and she is admired and cared for by many. 

Thank you Anna, let’s catch up with your responses now. 

 

 

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

As someone who lives with significant mental health issues, I find it hard to understand myself in the context of this word ‘courageous’. I have had to find fulfilment in the small things, and be satisfied with minute progress day to day, and I suppose that manifests as a kind of courage – a will to carry on and to always find new reserves.

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

This has always been the way.

I do think the challenge of chronic illness has given me skills to better deal with acute crises; when a situation calls for it, I can draw on the decades I’ve spent understanding myself, my feelings, my actions, and hopefully present more courageously!

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

Go to therapy, if you can!

It helps with so many facets of being a human.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

Yes, as above – years of trying to undo what my brain believes has taught me to push back on fears.

I’m still wildly anxious, but I’m much better at rationalizing it now.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

It’s within you, I suppose.

There’s a good chance you’re stronger than you think.

 

The responses may be brief here but there is a lot of wisdom and experience evident in Anna’s reflections on the questions. Thank you again, for sharing your views based on experience and truth. I always appreciate catching up with you on twitter. 

Denyse. 

Anna Spargo-Ryan
Copywriter, essayist, novelist

@annaspargoryan
Twitter: http://twitter.com/annaspargoryan
The Gulf & The Paper House
“Extraordinary” – The Saturday Paper
“Anna Spargo-Ryan is a writer to watch.” – The Monthly

 

 

 

The following information may be helpful to you or another. These are Australian-based.

Your Family G.P. can be a helpful person to listen and make referrals.

Lifeline on 13 11 14

Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636

Phone 13 HEALTH (13 43 25 84) for 24 hour assessment, referral, advice, and hospital and community health centre contact details

Qualified Psychologists can be found by visiting https://www.psychology.org.au/FindaPsychologist/

Australian Counselling Association is on 1300 784 333 to find a counsellor

 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends.

Copyright © 2020 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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Why Did I? 32/51. #LifeThisWeek. 64/2020.

Why Did I? 32/51. #LifeThisWeek. 64/2020.

I have given this optional prompt some thought and as my blog is having its 10th Birthday in late 2020 I decided to go with this question.

I am 67 here: only birthday cake photo I have.

Why Did I Start a Blog?

Before I did…here’s what went on.

  • From the time of my final retirement from education in early 2010 I was noticing how much I missed social connections and engagement with people. I miss school! It was, as I found out, my only place of being with people for a purpose and for a long time in my life: 4 decades.

 

  • I had my first iphone and discovered the (then) wonderful, engaging and fun world of Twitter. I called myself @denwise1 – a play on the spelling of Denyse with the y and added ‘one. Geddit? I am now @denysewhelan1 and have been for some years.

 

  • I first found fun and engagement via a very simple and great (then) on-line space called mamamia (dot) com and there were so many chances to engage and ‘chat’ with others. I virtually met so many people then, who have gone on to become IRL (in real life) friends I have met.

 

  • Suddenly I was connecting and I loved it, especially Fridays when there seemed to be a great number of us chatting away.

 

  • I found blogs like Woogsworld, Baby Mac, Styling You, MagnetoBoldToo, and many, many more. I loved commenting and, as I said making connections.

 

  • I was in awe of the ways in which this blogging thing worked. You wrote a post, published it and people read it and commented.

I thought (naively) I can do that!

 

 

Here Goes. The Blog. How I Did This. Not Well. But….

I outsourced my blog making to my internet provider and away I went. OH OH. No idea of what to do next. It was, as I saw, a static page. Ummm. That was not what I wanted. Initially I called my blog: Memories by Denyse. It was self-hosted on a wordpress platform and my name had already become my website. But, I know not what to do. So disappointed but also I am not someone who gives up.

Becoming Enlightened AND Overwhelmed.

I ummed and aaahed whether I could call myself a blogger when the first (ever!) Aussie Bloggers Conference was announced: to be in Sydney where I lived and on a weekend. Pay your fees and accommodation and come and meet like people. This was awesome. As an idea. You know that imposter syndrome, I really had it then.

 

Why Did I Attend the First Aussie Bloggers Conference in March 2011? 

To meet the people I already ‘knew’ from their blogs, their twitter feed and their comments on Mamamia. It really was that simple. Of course, I did hope to learn a bit more about this blogging thing but it was all about meeting people. From that day, and into the evening I met so many who had previously had twitter handles and blog names.

There are many of us still blogging from then but there are many MORE who have stopped blogging and ventured back into work, on-line ventures and more. But back then, it was a rush and a buzz being part of this and for me, knowing new people. Nothing to do with my world of education. And all, of course, much younger than I, but all very inclusive.

Why Did I Change The Blog’s Purpose Over Time?

  • Initially the blog was to help me make memories of the time we were living in as a family. I really could only add words and a few photos. I had no idea how to get anyone to read my blog’s posts.

 

  • I sought help from a couple of self-titled blog makers/developers over the next 2 years but remained frustrated that I was paying other people to do something I was not getting any income from. But wait. There IS more.

 

  • I made the blog into THREE: memories by denyse ...teaching by denyse….school by denyse …to match what I thought were my audiences. This was in 2011-2012 when there were at least 4 blogging conferences and meetings and I was R E A D Y to share my talents and skills (my words!)

 

  • I tried my best to share the words from the blogs with relevant audiences: parents where I was advising on starting school, and pre-service teachers needing help with potential employment and a personal blog about family life.

 

  • It was too much. No-one was reading much. I was working FAR too hard. I did at one stage, get some sponsorship and that $500 paid for my flights to Melbourne and attendance at Blogopolis. I did not enjoy having to be connected with a brand.

 

  • I sought local website development and blog-making help and after a coffee shop conversation, with me using hand drawn charts and ideas, the wonderful and patient Craig (who I call Tech Guy) came up with what is NOW: denysewhelan.com.au

 

  • I already had the name as my website and it took me till 2014 to finally let go of doing any kind of blogging other than what worked for me.

Why Did I Seek An Audience and How Did That Come About?

I am going to share this in next week’s post: I want. It kind of goes with the story too.

 

Do you have a story to share about how/why you began to blog?

Denyse.

Link Up #201

Life This Week. Link Up #201

You can link up something old or new, just come on in.

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Women of Courage Series. #50. Anon. 63/2020.

Women of Courage Series. #50. Anon. 63/2020.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid-May 2019: Wednesdays: each week until the series concludes in 2020.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

 

Anon, who is 60, and I first met via social media and then, totally uplanned, in person. Just a quick catch up but it was good. When I asked Anon sometime later if she wished to share her story as a Woman of Courage she replied “yes”. That said, this story may not be ‘as in the five questions’ but it is ONE woman’s story and done her way! Thank you Anon.

As with others who have shared their stories anonymously, there will be no replies from this Woman of Courage, but I know she will be reading with appreciation.

The Story Commences Here: 
At age 23 & pregnant with my 3rd child, I left my then, very self-destructive husband, taking the children to a refuge where we spent a month before receiving emergency public housing in Sydney’s Far Western Suburbs, having left a waterfront home in a Sydney beach suburb.
Unbeknownst to me, my husband had developed an extreme gambling problem & had stopped paying the mortgage amongst other things & our home was sold from under us. I had nothing.
What Happened Next: 
  • It changed me in many ways. Prior to this happening, I probably thought I was somewhat entitled to a particular lifestyle but what could have been a very negative situation, proved to be a huge turning point in my life.
  •  I learned just how strong, capable & self-sufficient I was. I was friendly with the neighbours but didn’t typically socialise with them, as we mostly had different values.
  • When my youngest child was 2yrs old, I attended the family law court to obtain a divorce & the following day commenced my first day in the very first intake of college based (now university) Nursing education.
  • I excelled in this environment, especially  on practical placements/6wk blocks within various hospitals around Sydney’s West.
  • At the end of year 2, the college asked me to consider returning there as a lecturer once I had attained my degree.
More To The Story:
  • Through-out these years my ex-husband, had maintained a close relationship with our children & me, whilst working on getting himself together.
  • As I was to learn 20yrs later, he had quite a few demons from his childhood, none of which were of his making but which are things we now know a lot more about. That was over 30yrs ago now.
  • We managed to get back together, many people we met in later years have no idea we’re actually divorced.

 

  • Unfortunately I never finished my 3rd year of nursing, I had a major seizure, which was never explained but I think I was simply trying to do too much.

 

  • I did however, go on to a very exciting career, in which I travelled the world for many years.
  • My ex-husband & I seem to have a somewhat envied relationship which makes me think to myself… if you only knew.
  • I do say to people, we’ve had our fair share of bad times, we were just lucky to get ourselves back on track but I doubt they’d ever imagine just how bad things once were.
And Continuing The Story:
  • There have been many bumps on the road in my journey, the worst of which concerned my children.
  • These things  really rocked me, not to mention them.
  • Things that I thought might initially break me but in reality they only made me tougher, stronger and more resilient

 

There is nothing that frightens me these days.

 

In Conclusion: 
The other thing that I think is really important to remember, is that regardless of who you are, no ones life is perfect.
It’s easy to get you get sucked into social media, (pre COVID_19) thinking everyone else has these amazing lives and perfect children & grandchildren (okay the grandkids are pretty perfect) and that they’ve found something you haven’t.
Trust me, they have their flaws and are still finding their way like the rest of us.
I recall my mother coming to me a few months after the upheaval I’d gone  through at 23 and saying that standing back to watch while I dealt with everything, rather than jumping in to ‘save’ me, was the hardest thing she’d ever done.
There was a part of me back then that did wonder why she hadn’t come to my rescue at the time but thank God she didn’t because it was the making of me.
As women, it can be easy to underestimate just how courageous we can be but when the time comes to put it to the test, we can be proud of the  courageous stuff we’re made of. As women we should always be each other’s champions.
There’s actually a song that has been my mantra since I first discovered it 20yrs ago, Strength, Courage & Wisdom by Indie Arie.

Thank you Anon. I do hope that sharing has helped you as readers will see what happened over time.

Denyse.

The following information may be helpful to you or another. These are Australian-based.

Your Family G.P. can be a helpful person to listen and make referrals.

Gambling help NSW. Here.

Lifeline on 13 11 14

Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636

Phone 13 HEALTH (13 43 25 84) for 24 hour assessment, referral, advice, and hospital and community health centre contact details

Qualified Psychologists can be found by visiting https://www.psychology.org.au/FindaPsychologist/

Australian Counselling Association is on 1300 784 333 to find a counsellor

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends.

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