Monday 23rd September 2019

I Am Grateful Series. 61-80. 66/2019.

Beyond Five.

Denyse Whelan Head and Neck Cancer Patient now Ambassador.

Consider a donation of $5 or more to my Virtual Event

For Head and Neck cancer patients, family and friends. This is a website and offers lots to help. It continues to grow and change but with no government funding, some donations by companies in related fields and one part-time business manager, a fund-raiser was initiated in 2018 called Soup for the Soul. Soup is often a food that patients with head and neck cancer can manage and it is comforting.

Soup for the Soul is already live and I have a Virtual Soup for the Soul page here. More about that as we get closer to World Head and Neck Cancer Day on 27 July.

 

 

 

I Am Grateful Series. 61-80. 65/2019.

I am grateful every day.

Since learning more about myself, from before, during and after my cancer diagnosis, I know that I am better emotionally when I express gratitude.

I do this in a number of ways.

  • I will silently think of 5 or 10 things (using my fingers!) that I have been grateful for that day before I go to sleep.
  • I always express my gratitude to the person who has served me and made me my coffee. There are very few exceptions to this and watching someone’s face light up means the gratitude bounces back I guess.
  • I consider how another person’s day may be going and ask them how they are because we connect that way and I am grateful for the exchange.

A few years back I wrote a post about gratitude and how I was keeping a journal then. I am re-posting here what was, and still is, an excellent source about the value of:

GRATITUDE

The social benefits are especially significant here because, after all, gratitude is a social emotion. I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.

Indeed, this cuts to very heart of my definition of gratitude, which has two components. First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good thing in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received. This doesn’t mean that life is perfect; it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life.

The second part of gratitude is figuring out where that goodness comes from. We recognize the sources of this goodness as being outside of ourselves. It didn’t stem from anything we necessarily did ourselves in which we might take pride. We can appreciate positive traits in ourselves, but I think true gratitude involves a humble dependence on others: We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

from here.

I have been going out each day since late October 2017, dressing with purpose and having a coffee.

In my small journal I might do some art or I might write to get my thoughts out.

Recently, I gave myself the challenge (I like a challenge!) of coming up with 20 things/experiences I was grateful for over 5 days, making a total of 100. Over the past weeks and one last time next week, I  share the groups of 20.

61. That I got to live at 61 Curban St from 1959 till 1970

62. That my Aunty Poppy who died at this age, showed me what unconditional love was

63. My family: close and extended cares about me

64. That I am in essence a creative person

65. Cooking is a fun way to create: when I am in the mood

66. Colours delight me

67. I love to drive and staying safe is #1 priority & I got my licence in ’67!

68. My mind – given a good challenge and coming up with the answers

69. “Enough” money for coffee and a treat most weeks

70. That I “WILL” get to 70 on 30 November 2019

71. My ability to choose foods with better health outcomes than I used to

72. My recliner chair. Ahhhhh.

73. Warmth of the heated pad on my back in said chair..Ahhhhhh

74. ACCEPTANCE is a growing concept I am getting embedded within

75. My support for others with head and neck cancer is 100%

76. Walking. That I can. I do want to walk more too.

77. Enough clothes now for every season and reason and in my size.

78. My continued connections with education

79. That my husband has his space for his work and hobbies

80. That I too have my space for the above.

How do you express gratitude?

Denyse.

Joining in with Min here for her Tuesday #ztt link up.

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Women Of Courage Series. #3. Katherine. 63/2019.

Women Of Courage Series. #3. Katherine. 63/2019.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid May 2019: Wednesdays: each week.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda

Let’s meet Katherine who is 35 or 36..

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

This is the second time I’ve been asked this question in four days. So I’ve had a bit of time to think about it. I don’t know if I could claim being courageous, but I’ve probably done my best impression of it a few times now. All the way back in 2008, I decided to quit my (then) stable job at a suburban newspaper to move to London. Up until then I’d only ever lived at home with my parents, so it was a bit of a leap to believing that I could function as an adult and look after myself in another country.

I returned from London a couple of years later and my mother was diagnosed with a single cell carcinoma around her stomach months later. I was working in Perth at the time and my family was in Sydney. I decided to take time off work and go home to help care for her over her last few months. That turned into a few years of living at home with dad after she passed away.

Then in 2015 it was time for a new beginning, so I packed up my stuff (ok, some of my stuff) and headed over to San Francisco for work, all on my lonesome. It was one of those decisions that changed the course of my life really. I’m about to marry (or depending on the timing of this post, have married) a Californian named Mike who I met at work here. Ed: this post is going live before “the wedding”

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

Moving to another country (or state) always reminds me that I can be self-sufficient and as independent as I feel like. I’ve become slightly more outgoing since moving away and having to build new friendships. It has made me much more organised, and more likely to say ‘yes’ to things that I was 98 per cent sure I wasn’t capable of. Because there’s always that 2 per cent chance that you’re selling yourself short.

My mother’s death changed me in many ways, that aren’t as fun to share. It made me feel directionless, alone even though I was surrounded by family, and hopeless. Like nothing would ever be the same and nothing I did would put my life back on a track that I could feel happy with. It seems trite to say that it made me realise everything I was going to miss without mum, and everything she was going to miss not being with us. It also changed me in the sense that I couldn’t stand the thought of falling in love, getting married, and dealing with the death of a partner. It took a long time to get over that.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

I’ve written and erased this paragraph three times now. Everything sounds so trite and ‘more easily said than done’. I honestly don’t think there was anything I could tell someone going through the death of a loved one, because the experience really is different for everyone and it hits you in different ways. Saying that the raw pain will pass feels like diminishing that special person’s meaning to you. So I would say that therapy helped me process some of the guilt and anguish I was feeling. Distance yourself from those who are uncomfortable around you or creating drama at a time when you don’t need it. Focus on yourself and your family.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

I am much more of the ‘go with the flow’ mindset now that I ever was before. If things work out the way I want them to, or had envisioned them, then I’m stoked. But if they don’t it’s just about adjusting my expectations, finding a new way of doing things, or accepting a new reality. There are lots of things looming in my future expat life that could definitely derail our plans – visa applications, work permits, superannuation and 401K accounts etc. But I’m not too worried about it all. If I’ve learned anything it’s that panicking is not going to solve a problem.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

You’re a lot stronger than you think you are, you can handle situations far outside the scope of what you think you’re capable of. Break the situation down into smaller chunks so that you can process it all better and consider your reactions a little better.

 

Thank you for sharing your story, Katherine and Happy Wedding Day wishes sent yours and Mike’s way.

Denyse.

Here’s where to find Katherine on-line.

Blog/Website: https://www.brightlightsofamerica.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/krasf  

Facebook Page (not personal account): https://www.facebook.com/expatsintheusa/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anaussieinsf

If you would like to share your story of being a woman of courage* please let me know in the comments and I will email you. That would be great! *There are no men included as I  think we women do not talk or not write about our stories which is why I’ve  called the series: Women of Courage.

My story was here, then Sam’s is here and Megan’s is here.

Next week’s Woman of Courage is Debbie Harris. 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends and on Fridays, it’s Open Slather here with Alicia.

Copyright © 2019 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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I Am Grateful Series. 41-60. 62/2019.

I Am Grateful Series. 41-60. 62/2019.

I am grateful every day.

Since learning more about myself, from before, during and after my cancer diagnosis, I know that I am better emotionally when I express gratitude.

  • I do this in a number of ways.
  • I will silently think of 5 or 10 things (using my fingers!) that I have been grateful for that day before I go to sleep.
  • I always express my gratitude to the person who has served me and made me my coffee. There are very few exceptions to this and watching someone’s face light up means the gratitude bounces back I guess.
  • On some days when life just feels ‘blah’ I have learned just to find something (0ne thing!) to be grateful for can make the mood shift.

A few years back I wrote a post about gratitude and how I was keeping a journal then. I am re-posting here what was, and still is, an excellent source about the value of:

GRATITUDE

The social benefits are especially significant here because, after all, gratitude is a social emotion. I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.

Indeed, this cuts to very heart of my definition of gratitude, which has two components. First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good thing in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received. This doesn’t mean that life is perfect; it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life.

The second part of gratitude is figuring out where that goodness comes from. We recognize the sources of this goodness as being outside of ourselves. It didn’t stem from anything we necessarily did ourselves in which we might take pride. We can appreciate positive traits in ourselves, but I think true gratitude involves a humble dependence on others: We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

from here.

I have been going out each day since late October 2017, dressing with purpose and having a coffee. In my small journal I might do some art or I might write to get my thoughts out.

Recently, I gave myself the challenge (I like a challenge!) of coming up with 20 things I was grateful for over 5 days, making a total of 100.

Over the  past weeks, I’ve been sharing  these groups of 20. This is my third set of 5 groups.

I Am Grateful: 41-60.

41. Understanding myself better

42. Acceptance of differences between me and others

43. A spirit of generosity

44. My conversational approach with people

45. My S M I L E…it’s back!

46. My greater knowledge of nutrition to help me eat better

47. My ability to weigh up situations independently

48. My RED car: always

49. Weather and climate here where we live

50. My B E D

51.  A range of social media followers

52. Pillows. So many. So needed.

53. Noticing nature

54. Details: I see the details everywhere

55. Patterns: I also see them everywhere

56. My moral code

57. Honesty: appreciating others’ honesty too

58. Telling My Story: on the blog: over time

59. That is IS a story worth telling.

60. My memory: already listed this: so will now wonder about memory and say “memories”

I am grateful of course to you, my readers and fellow bloggers and to Min whose link up is called Zen Tips Tuesday and is found here.

Thank you!

Denyse.

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Women Of Courage Series. #2. Megan Blandford. 60/2019.

Women Of Courage Series. #2. Megan Blandford. 60/2019.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid May 2019: Wednesdays: each week.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda

Welcome Megan Blandford who is in her late 30s.

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

Asking for help has been the most courageous thing I’ve done. That doesn’t sound very hard, but when you’re going through a real challenge reaching out can feel like the toughest thing in the world. It took me years of going through depression to really understand that I didn’t have to do it all alone, and that asking for help wasn’t a sign of weakness – it was actually a sign of strength.

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

Asking for help – from my husband, family and friends, as well as professional help – meant that I could start to live a happy life again. It helped me learn to be kinder to myself and drop the expectation of being ‘strong’ all the time.

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

The most incredible thing is that, when you let people know you need them, they almost always step up for you.

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

Absolutely. I think that once the mask is down and you’ve shown that you needed help once, it’s easier to say it again. That’s not to say it’s suddenly easy! But it’s a bit easier each time, in each different circumstance.

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

If you need help with something – whether it’s a big thing like a mental health challenge, or something small in your life – it’s worth knowing that if the help you reach out for doesn’t work out, there are always other options. Keep asking until you find the help that’s right for you.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Find Megan here via these links.

Facebook Page : www.facebook.com/meganblandford1

Instagram: @MeganBlandford

Megan is the author of this book, recently released. I have a copy and it is a great and honest read.

Thanks Megan for sharing and for being a Woman of Courage.

 

 

 

 

If you would like to share your story of being a woman of courage* please let me know in the comments and I will email you. That would be great! *There are no men included as I  think we women do not talk or not write about our stories which is why I’ve  called the series: Women of Courage.

 

Denyse.

My story is here and last week’s about Sam is here.

Next week’s Woman of Courage is Katherine.

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends and on Fridays, it’s Open Slather here with Alicia.

Copyright © 2019 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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I Am Grateful Series. 21-40. 59/2019.

I Am Grateful Series. 21-40. 59/2019.

I am grateful every day.

Since learning more about myself, from before, during and after my cancer diagnosis, I know that I am better emotionally when I express gratitude.

I do this in a number of ways.

I will silently think of 5 or 10 things (using my fingers!) that I have been grateful for that day before I go to sleep.

I always express my gratitude to the person who has served me and made me my coffee. There are very few exceptions to this and watching someone’s face light up means the gratitude bounces back I guess.

A few years back I wrote a post about gratitude and how I was keeping a journal then. I am re-posting here what was, and still is, an excellent source about the value of:

GRATITUDE

The social benefits are especially significant here because, after all, gratitude is a social emotion. I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.

Indeed, this cuts to very heart of my definition of gratitude, which has two components. First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good thing in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received. This doesn’t mean that life is perfect; it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life.

The second part of gratitude is figuring out where that goodness comes from. We recognize the sources of this goodness as being outside of ourselves. It didn’t stem from anything we necessarily did ourselves in which we might take pride. We can appreciate positive traits in ourselves, but I think true gratitude involves a humble dependence on others: We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

from here.

I have been going out each day since late October 2017, dressing with purpose and having a coffee. In my small journal I might do some art or I might write to get my thoughts out. Recently, I gave myself the challenge (I like a challenge!) of coming up with 20 thins I was grateful for over 5 days, making a total of 100.Over the next weeks, each fortnight, I will share those groups of 20.

Do you practise gratitude regularly?

My 21-40 is here.

I am grateful for:

21.waking up well each day

22. eating breakfast is now about eating for health

23. grass: loving to walk on it barefoot

24. my friends: on line and in real life

25. my inner energy to help others & to give

26. my body bouncing back after major health issues with cancer

27. blue skies in Autumn

28. knowing I am loved

29. my audible account to enable me to listen to books read by authors

30. the universality and equity of twitter

31. books: knowledge

33. my daily newspaper delivery: sadly no longer: had to cancel due to NO delivery.

34. my ability to modify my unhelpful behaviours

35. great growing up years in 1950s and 1960s

36. living by the beach in those years

37. honesty: mine

38. my ability to empathise more now

39. knowing I can ‘delay’ a craving and may no longer desire it

40. Being born Australian

 

I am grateful of course to you, my readers and fellow bloggers and to Min whose link up is called Zen Tips Tuesday and is found here.

Thank you!

Denyse.

 

 

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Women of Courage Series. #1. Sam. 55/2019.

Woman of Courage. #1. Sam. 55/2019. 

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid May 2019: Wednesdays: each week.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda

Let’s meet Sam who is 48 (nearly!)

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

I find myself mustering some courage in a lot of everyday situations because I’m a born worrier/scaredy cat.  However, some major health issues, both mine and of those nearest and dearest to me really had me digging deep into my courage reserves.

Just before and just after I turned 40 I received cancer diagnoses (two in the same year!) and that required not just courage but resilience. I was very fortunate in that I had a great medical team behind me who cared for my physical and mental health. In many ways, I found my treatment (surgery followed by radioactive iodine treatment) relatively easy (if inconvenient and a little bit ouchy) to deal with. I definitely needed some courage to jump through all those cancer hoops – endless appointments, surgeries, treatment, special diets, drugs and although my prognosis was excellent – facing off with my own mortality. I wanted to be strong and support my loved ones because in many ways my diagnosis was hardest on them.

Having a loved one with a serious medical diagnosis is heartbreaking because all you want do is make it better but you can’t. I learned this the hard way in 2014 when my husband had a minor stroke. I think being the carer was so much harder than being the patient. I had to reframe all my negative thoughts into positive ones and focus my energy on being positive.

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

I sometimes think being courageous is like a muscle, the more you use it, the better you get at it. I think courage leads to resilience and that’s one of greatest life’s tools. These days, I’m a lot more resilient. When I face tough situations, I always think to myself, “well if you got through X or Y, then you can get through this.” Just like muscle memory, I think I have courage memory!

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

I’ve learned that I can’t control what happens to me but I can control how I deal with it. Bad stuff happens but the way I think about and act upon it can really make the experience a positive or a negative one.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

I know I can deal with difficult things, everything I need is inside. I also know that if I can’t deal with something on my own, that it’s OK to ask for help either from my friends and family or from a mental health professional.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

Think positive! I really do think that the body achieves what the mind believes. Some of us are able to draw on our own courage and some of us draw on the courage of others so don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes asking for help is the courageous thing to do!

 

Thank you for sharing your story, Sam!

Find Sam here:

Blog/Website: https://www.theannoyedthyroid.com/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/annoyed_thyroid

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/TheAnnoyedThyroid

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theannoyedthyroid/

 

If you would like to share your story of being a woman of courage* please let me know in the comments and I will email you. That would be great! *There are no men included as I  think we women do not talk or not write about our stories which is why I’ve  called the series: Women of Courage.

Denyse.

My story was last week and is found here.

Next week’s Woman of Courage is Megan Blandford. 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends and on Fridays, it’s Open Slather here with Alicia.

Copyright © 2019 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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I Am Grateful Series. 1-20. 54/2019.

I Am Grateful Series. 1-20. 54/2019.

I am grateful every day.

Since learning more about myself, from before, during and after my cancer diagnosis, I know that I am better emotionally when I express gratitude.

I do this in a number of ways.

I will silently think of 5 or 10 things (using my fingers!) that I have been grateful for that day before I go to sleep.

I always express my gratitude to the person who has served me and made me my coffee. There are very few exceptions to this and watching someone’s face light up means the gratitude bounces back I guess.

A few years back I wrote a post about gratitude and how I was keeping a journal then. I am re-posting here what was, and still is, an excellent source about the value of:

GRATITUDE

The social benefits are especially significant here because, after all, gratitude is a social emotion. I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.

Indeed, this cuts to very heart of my definition of gratitude, which has two components. First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good thing in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received. This doesn’t mean that life is perfect; it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life.

The second part of gratitude is figuring out where that goodness comes from. We recognize the sources of this goodness as being outside of ourselves. It didn’t stem from anything we necessarily did ourselves in which we might take pride. We can appreciate positive traits in ourselves, but I think true gratitude involves a humble dependence on others: We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

from here.

I have been going out each day since late October 2017, dressing with purpose and having a coffee. In my small journal I migth do some art or I might write to get my thoughts out. Recently, I gave myself the challenge (I like a challenge!) of coming up with 20 thins I was grateful for over 5 days, making a total of 100.

Over the next weeks, I will share those groups of 20.

1 to 20.

I am grateful: 

  1. for my life – even now
  2. to be married to the most caring, loving, sensible B.
  3. to be a Mum to a daughter and a son
  4. to have 8 amazing grandkids who love me
  5. for freedom of speech and where I go
  6. for my intelligence
  7. for the career I did really well in.
  8. for my love of teaching
  9. to have the company of little kids as learners
  10. to experience art in my life
  11. to have enough money for much of what I need
  12. for this retired life
  13. to live in a comfy, modern house to live in until at least April 2020
  14. for a regular aged part-pension payments from Centrelink
  15. my advanced and amazing health care
  16. to my team of health professionals I trust
  17. for my blog
  18. for the connections I make on-line
  19. for my memory
  20. To drink coffee: out each day.

Do you practise gratitude?
What are you grateful for today?

Denyse.

Joining with Min for Zen Tips Tuesday here.

Copyright © 2019 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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Women Of Courage Series Begins. Denyse. 52/2019.

Women Of Courage Series Begins. Denyse. 52/2019.

Recently I wrote about the story behind Women of Courage series to begin here and this is that post.

It got me thinking that “I” should tell one of my stories first.

This is my story of courage. And, surprisingly as it was to my husband when I mentioned the topic, it is NOT about getting cancer.

          What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

I have faced quite a few challenges in my almost seventy years of living! One was a cancer diagnosis but I have written about that many times. I will continue to write about it, as time goes on. This one is when I chose courage over comfort and decided to apply for K-6 Principal roles back in 1998. I know we are talking a LONG time ago, but my memories are very clear.

  • I loved my role as a non-teaching Deputy Principal as it meant the best of both parts of my experience was used: supporting teachers in the classroom and being able to assist families in relation to their children. Being ‘on class’ as I had been as an Assistant Principal in previous years made that other part of what I did well much more difficult. So, from 1988 until ‘decision time’ in mid 1998 I was employed and happy to be so, even though the school and its community was in a low socio-economic area of Sydney, we knew as teachers we made a difference. That is why I taught.
  • However, the school population started to fall. That happens in high-growth areas when initial movements into a suburb settle. I was told that my role as a non-teaching D.P. was being taken from the school’s staffing entitlement. That meant, go on class or move to another school. I did stay and go on class and that was a special time because a young student in my class had cancer and within the first six months he died. I was honoured to speak about him at his funeral. Mid-year I got an offer to become a relieving Principal in the wider area where this current school was located.
  • Torn but confident of my decision, I left my school of almost 10 years, and went to the newer one as their relieving Principal. Now, that DID take some courage. I admit, it was such a change of role, even though I had held a relieving Principal role back at my other school, that I wondered at times “what have I done?”
  • But over the two terms, I could sense that my confidence (and courage!) to continue in the ultimate school leadership role was there. But wait, what about after 1998? It seems like destiny or something like that moved me to seek a substantive Principal’s role starting in 1999 because…caught where I was, I had been appointed the next D.P. at the school where I was already relieving Principal and it began to feel like a demotion….so I garnered all my courage and….
  • Applied for substantive Principal roles via merit selection.

 

         How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

  • Doing this did change me because I “had” to make the decision to move forward not to stay still or even go backwards. I had those people who worried about me a little bit (hello Dad) stepping up but ultimately I KNEW it was this or….The other was not an option.
  • I admit, it was hard work, leading a school of over 600 students till the end of that year, AND preparing for applications to new schools as their principal. I ‘got through’ to I think four interviews and was unsuccessful. I was not discouraged, which surprised me.
  • I did (and do) have more courage than I thought.

 

         Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

  • What I learned is to keep on going.
  • The roles I missed out on I took recommendations and feedback from the panel convenors who then could have been my future bosses as they were District Superintendents.
  • Then, I got one very helpful feedback session over the phone and as I knew an interview was happening, I used more ‘tricks’ that were legal of course…and I have recommended these to many since.
  • One was to look at the application and the school’s list of qualities wanted in the successful applicant and write up some likely questions and have your answers written when you go to pre-interview 10 minutes with the questions.
  • Take that with you into the interview, use it to glance at as it is an aid for memory. Of course, make eye-contact with the panel and in particular the person asking the questions but don’t be afraid to add to your responses later.
  • The most important part I learned from this experience was that I was:
  1. brave enough
  2. good enough
  3. knew what I was doing
  4. had a range of skills, knowledge and experience that helped guide others
  5. human
  6. unable to sustain my emotional health during the fourth year as principal (I have written about that here, here, here AND here)
  7. and was COURAGEOUS enough to recognise my health came before my job.

 

      Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

  • Yes I do, from this position of some 16 years later. But I still faced many life challenges where I needed to be reminded I HAD courage and needed to use it more. I know, once I managed to get over the shame of leaving the role I loved, I was much more able to see I WAS courageous. I gave it all my best shot and shame is not a helpful emotion. It did take some years of counselling and reading to achieve that level of confidence and courage.
  • When I KNEW I had some of my courage return, I then applied for and taught in schools, part-time and English as a Second Language, for six years and that was part of my healing.

     Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

You have more within than you realise it. Don’t listen to the naysayers or the negative voice in your head. Take the first step towards whatever your goal is. Sometimes the first step is the hardest…but then, there is no turning back! Onward!

This leads to the next weeks and months ahead where I have quite a few Women of Courage to share their stories.

If you too would like to share your story, please tell me in the comments and I will forward you what to complete to be a part!

Looking forward to each Wednesday!

Denyse.

Joining with Sue and Leanne here for Wednesday’s Midlife Share The Love linky,

With Leanne on Thursday for Lovin Life link up here AND with Alicia on Fridays for Open Slather here.

Thank you all for your link ups.

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