Thursday 30th January 2020

What’s Enough Money? #LifeThisWeek 6/52. 2017.21.

What’s Enough Money? #LifeThisWeek 6/52. 2017.21.

I am someone who thought she never had ‘enough money’ for quite some time. Decades.

It did not matter that I worked full-time in a professional career, and we were paying off a lovely house and car, could buy most things I needed when I needed them, could assist our family in a financial way if necessary.

This was because I continued to compare myself to others.

Especially others who I believed were doing better than me, who had more than me and were obviously well-off financially.

It has taken around the past 2 years for me to edge this belief to the kerb, and whilst not quite kicking it down the gutter, my mind set has shifted for these reasons.

  • gratitude to have a healthy and happy relationship with my husband
  • thankful to arise each day to a new day where I remain well in most respects in accord with my age
  • grown up family members who are settled and caring for themselves and no longer need our input in any respect
  • a comfortable house which we rent until we are ready to buy and this is giving us time to determine where our permanent home will be
  • a day to day existence that is relaxed, pleasant and we have enough to keep us safe, fed, sheltered, learning  and amused
  • we can afford health insurance, insurance for belongings and cars, items such as gifts although we have dialled back the spending there considerably,  some spending for a short holiday but neither of us want to travel so that satisfies us, money for art supplies and hobbies such as music and woodworking
  • there is a back-up plan of savings for what might be needed but there is no longer an obsession that it is not enough

There was a time in mid-late 2014 when it was not this pleasant. I had to finish work and our mortgage payments could not be sustained but more than that…we were actually ready to sell and move on but it took both reasons – I wanted to finish work and we had to get some money behind us to leave Sydney – for us to do so.

The relief from the house sale going through in mid January 2015 was marvellous and I celebrated not with a champagne but an icy pole gazing at the waters at Ettalong.

Keeping it real. And from then on, the attitude shift has evolved.

We have enough money.

How is this for you?

Everyone is different of course.

We have been married for over 46 years and one of us receives a lifetime pension and both of us some government benefits based on our age. It is enough.


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Making Progress Is Not Linear. 366/41.

Making Progress Is Not Linear. 366/41.

I’ve been making progress with my mental health, adjusting to my new (to me) life here on the coast and to the ‘newness’ of being fully retired.

There is no doubt that this has been a challenge for me.

My husband is most understanding of my changing moods which are usually short-lasting for the negative ones and getting much longer for the better ones.

This is what I call progress.

But then something occurs, or I just wake feeling somewhat anxious with no reason and it can be a difficult day spent worrying or actually getting overly stressed about having an episode of Irritable Bowel Syndrome’s diarrhoea.

That’s when I think “I am not improving”.

I also berate myself a bit and wonder why I just cannot get myself right and not go back to the older, anxious me.

Then, when I look through a lens that is not clouded with the views of the past, and I have better perspective I can see the improvements as I note them over time in a journal.

It just takes me some hours, or even a day to regain this confidence and perspective.

I now also acknowledge that grief is playing a part in the sometimes changed mood. I miss much from my past that is true. I do not regret that I have finished my paid working life, nor sold our home and moved…and I have to say, that on balance we are glad to be out of Sydney.

Of course I miss my family and ‘old way of life’. But that too is part of the past. The family is growing and changing and we, the 2 of us, are making our way in our new life together.

Just as I am unsure sometimes about the now and the future, I am also more than sure that everything will work out for us.

I just wish that progress was more linear instead of this up and down..down and up journey called LIFE.

Do you ever feel like this in some way?

Tell me more so I know I am not alone!