Saturday 25th May 2019

Remembering Mum’s Smile. 22/2019.

Remembering Mum’s Smile. 22/2019.

I admit it.

I inherited my Mum’s smile.

I did not always appreciate this until too late.

That was when I lost my smile to cancer.

Today it is 12 years since Mum died.

Wow.

The ‘last’ great smile photo taken by me at Mum and Dad’s 60th Wedding Anniversary lunch. 2006.

Mum was unwell for around 2 years before it was found in early 2007 that she had multiple brain tumours with no known primary source.

That was it. Mum said “no more tests” when there could have been further explorations based on what the Neurosurgeon saw in her MRI. When Mum said that, he said “that is what I would say for my Mum too.”

Dad and our close family agreed of course because Mum was not a fan of hospitals, doctors or illness and in some respects that was why diagnosis was delayed. BUT….we knew Mum. And she most of all knew herself. So, over the next 6 or so weeks, she gradually worsened. We had our chance to say goodbyes and over the final days, Dad stayed at her side in the private hospital going home at the nurse’s insistence as Mum would succumb soon. She did, once he left (that is the way with many isn’t it?) and then we knew that the love of Dad’s life, the mother of two, grandmother of four, great-grandmother of 3, mother-in-law and friend of many had died.

But, we celebrate Mum often. In the years that I have passed, I have called on her help with recipes I have forgotten some ingredients in -she was a self-taught home cook and great! And what I noticed, in more recent times, was how much my smile was like hers. Dad has this image above in his unit where he moved to 4 years after her death. He still has the various dried floral arrangement she loved to make or buy. I think I did get some of my creative loves from Mum but took a long while to acknowledge that.

Mum and I have never been considered alike in body, temperament and education background …I am my father’s daughter. But I am short like she was and I have definitely inherited her love of colourful clothing.

So, when I got cancer in my upper gum and under my top lip, I missed smiling more than eating. I truly did. It came as a surprise to me just how much it meant for me to smile.

Getting my smile back in August 2018 I did not stop beaming for quite some time.

Today then I pay tribute to Mum and her smile….with a few of mine she would love too!

Thanks Mum. Here’s some from me. Love, Denyse xx

How do you remember someone who has been part of your life and now gone?

Have you inherited any of your family’s traits?

It really can be something to consider!

Thanks for viewing and reading about my Mum today: 5 March 2019, 12 years after her death.

Denyse.

Joining with Sue and Leanne here for Midlife Share The Love on Wednesday.

Here I am linking up with Leanne for Lovin’ Life linky on Thursday.

 

 

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Christmas.51/52.#LifeThisWeek. 2018.131.

Christmas.51/52.#LifeThisWeek. 2018.131.

My dad used to say I was The Queen of Christmas…and also that I was like a big kid at Christmas…so what he meant was:

I Love Christmas.

From when I was a child, into my teens, Christmas was about:

  • getting excited about Santa coming
  • wondering if I would get what I wanted
  • going to the movies to see “A White Christmas” with my younger brother while our parents entertained friends at home. I liked the movie, but I am not sure about my bro. Could ask him I guess.
  • before we moved to Balgowlah Heights, as residents of Wollongong, it was not too far to drive to one set of grandparents for Christmas lunch and to the other for Christmas tea.
  • once we were in Sydney, however, after a couple of those “all day in the car’ experiences, Mum and Dad began hosting at their place and the family members who could, travelled up for the day.

Then as a young married mum, Christmas was always exciting to have at my parents’ house and occasionally at our place or my brother’s.

  • it was a great Christmas eve at our place, going to mass and then Macca’s was a tradition, and some family singing around the tree till time to put the Santa sacks out and snacks for S.Claus and the reindeer.
  • eventually Mum handed over the Christmas lunch duties to me and that was fine as we no longer did the drive across Sydney. Always a hot baked dinner with some cold seafood and ham on offer. A feast. Mum made the pudding and I made the cake.
  • presents were exchanged after some morning tea. That would often be smoked salmon on toast, cheese straws and dips.
  • over the years, as our kids and their cousins got older, we stopped presents and limited them to our parents and within our family, Santa always brought the kids’ ones and we exchanged gifts.
  • oh, yes..my husband introduced the Mystery Gift to our little family and that was always fun to anticipate.

And then, we became grandparents. And to top it off, the first grandchild arrived 2 days before Christmas and she now shares my love of Christmas. She says she got it from me. Well, I will not deny it!

  • family times at Christmas became more challenging as the family membership changed again with partners of our kids too, so we adapted
  • some years, we would go to the grandkids’ houses the morning OF Christmas to see the fun after Santa had been
  • other years, we celebrated with them before or after the day itself
  • gifts became centred only on the grandkids as we reduced family spending and then there was less financial pressure
  • I admit I got to have my Christmas buying fun and each grandchild was also very involved in the tree decorating at our house when we lived in Sydney
  • Christmas is about creating memories and I feel we did that in spades.
  • when we moved away from the families and they too were changing, we stopped gifts, instead depositing some money in their parents’ accounts for the kids to spend after Christmas
  • we make our place a little festive but do not exchange gifts, we just like to share the spirit of the season

Christmas pics taken for the blog by photographing the photos…I know, bit slack! I have two Christmas scrapbooks too.

I hope you enjoy Christmas in 2018 if you celebrate it.

We will be having lunch by ourselves with our daughter, three adult grandkids & one partner and ONE very excited 6 year old. They are driving up here and we will have a ‘grazing kind of lunch’. Some time after the festive season, we will catch up with our son and his family I am sure. I saw my Dad recently for Christmas. It is a day he will spend with my brother and family who live nearby.

Cheers from Denyse.

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Joining Alicia here for Open Slather and Kell here for Mummy Mondays.

Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 52/52. Free Choice. We Made It. 24/12/18.


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