Sunday 25th August 2019

Women Of Courage Series. #10. Tegan Churchill. 80/2019.

Trigger Warning: Self-Harm, Mental Illness.

 

 

Women of Courage Series. #10. Tegan Churchill. 80/2019.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid May 2019: Wednesdays: each week.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda

I have known Tegan who is 31, for many years thanks to ‘the old world of Australian blogging’ where I was first incredibly impressed with her education focus for her son as he entered formal schooling. I continue to be in awe of the time as a volunteer Tegan now gives to her son’s primary school. Her school is fortunate to have her support in many ways. I welcome Tegan to share her story today. 


What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

Becoming a parent is still the most courageous thing I have faced in my life. Before I became a parent, I was hellbent on destroying myself. Having a child gave me a purpose and something other than myself to care for. For the first time in my life, I felt that I had a purpose.

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

Before I fell pregnant I spent more time in psychiatric wards than I did out. My treatment team were preparing my family for when I would take my own life, not if. I was sent to prison after attempting to rob a chemist. I was seeking drugs to overdose on. I had no intention of hurting anyone but myself.

Finding out I was pregnant was a shock. Children were never on my radar. I didn’t want to be a parent. Yet, this small person changed my life in ways that I could never have imagined. He changed my life for the better. He gave me a purpose and a reason to be alive. How could I hurt myself and leave him behind?

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

Having a child isn’t the answer. A child isn’t a possession. I know that I was lucky that it was the catalyst that I needed. For many people it isn’t. I wouldn’t change having my child for all the money in the world but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t also the hardest thing I have ever done.

I also learned that courage isn’t doing everything on your own. Courage can also be learning when to ask for help. I learned that courage doesn’t mean you have to be a martyr. It really does take a village to raise a child.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

Having a small person to fight for has given me the courage to fight for myself. I realised that in order to give him the parent that he needed and deserved, I needed to help myself too. Fighting for treatment for my son gave me the courage to fight for my own treatment. For many years I had simply accepted the treatment I was given, convinced that it was what I deserved. Being the carer for a child with additional needs allowed me to learn to fight for myself. I realised that I couldn’t give from an empty cup.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

Break down any challenge into easy to complete tasks. Give yourself rewards for getting through and be gentle with yourself. It’s ok to admit that you are scared, anxious or that you simply can’t do something yet. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to accept help that is offered. Sometimes our courage is borrowed and that’s perfectly fine too.

Thank you so much Tegan for your courageous account in this post. I am so pleased you decided to share your story.

Denyse.

Lifeline: 13 11 14.

 

 

Social Media. 

Blog/Website: http://www.musingsofthemisguided.com

 

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/misguidedmuser

 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends and on Fridays, it’s Open Slather here with Alicia.

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