Saturday 24th June 2017

R U OK? Day 2016. 366/251.

R U OK? Day 2016. 366/251.

It is here again.

R U OK? Day.

Thursday 8 September.

This time last year I wrote extensively about R U OK? Day and I offer it to readers again here. 

Please check it out and watch the video story about the founder.

Recently I found these words from Adam Goodes, the AFL Player, now retired, who is a past Australian of the Year when he wrote about his depression.

I chose to ask for help.

Depression is different for everyone.

There were times I felt so down I didn’t want to train or be around people. I just couldn’t get myself out of that haziness.

Then I took ownership of my thoughts instead of letting them control me.

I meditated. I focussed on my passions.

That balance kept me strong mentally.

Source: News Limited. Body and Soul. 28 August 2016.

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I do hope that should you or anyone you know need to have someone to talk to, you know that can call any of these numbers. It is completely free and anonymous.

Get Help
24 Hour Emergency Services
Lifeline Australia

13 11 14
Suicide Call Back

1300 659 467
Kids Help Line

1800 551 800

I hope you are going well at the moment.

R U OK? I am most days and am very fortunate to have a supportive husband, GP and counsellor who help me through my life right now in the transition that goes on…and on!

Denyse.

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Joining Raychael from Agent Mystery Case here and bloggers who take part in Worth Casing Wednesday.

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My 5 Reasons Not To Do a Sea Change. 366/244.

My 5 Reasons Not To Do a Sea Change. 366/244.

In recent times I have read of others who are not only considering doing a ‘sea change’ but are making firm plans for just that experience.

Yes, we did this too.

We made a sea change from city living in Sydney to coastal living on the New South Wales Central Coast.

From the decision to do this just over two years ago, and living it, as I am now, here are my 5 reasons NOT to do a sea change:

  1. You will not change from moving from one place to another unless you have already begun making changes to your life, behaviours and attitudes wherever you are. The place does not change anything.
  2. There will be a serious period of adjustment from one style of living to another and, ouch, you “may” not like it nearly as much as you thought so do plan for a LONG adjustment because it may be for you too.
  3. The visitors to your new place on the coast will come often and you will see more of your family now that you are living there. It started like that for a few months but ‘life’ takes over for everyone and their commitments so prepare for greater isolation if that is an expectation.
  4. There will be a lighter style of life with the beach beckoning and the natural surroundings for all the walks, adventures and so on. Yes, that IS true, but like life in the city, the daily life chores and tasks remain as does the need to work (be it paid or voluntary) so time becomes a factor here too. You “may” not even see the beach you longed to be close to for weeks.
  5. Money will be saved as you move to an area where there is less cost in housing and so there is but there is not always the choice of what comforts/lifestyle you may be seeking and the choices are far fewer than in the metropolitan areas.

These five reasons are mine. I share them because it has been quite a cultural and societal change for me to make the sea change we have. My husband is finding all of it fine. He is far more adjustable to different living places and spaces as his personality is more ‘cruisy’.

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So, what about this list of mine? What’s the outcome for me? In terms of my mental health THIS has been quite  shock to my internal world if you like. However, we were in a no win situation by staying where we were. The mortgage was unaffordable as I was 65 and no longer wanted to work. We took a practical step and I hadn’t quite counted on the effect on me. Nevertheless, the resilience in me is building now I have accepted the changes I need to continue making within myself to ‘go with the sea change’. One day, when we are finally able to buy somewhere coastal (but not on the water as that is out of reach!) I know that the hard yards of settling, discovering what is around have been done during THIS transition time and so I am grateful for that!

Update: an interesting and timely article about making a ‘sea’ or ‘tree’ change.

Have you considered a sea change?

Tell me more!

Denyse.

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Joining with Raychael over at Agent Mystery Case for Worth Casing Wednesday.

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Quotes I Like. 366/139.

Quotes I Like. 366/139.

Lately I have read that quotes for the sake of quotes are often meaningless unless we can align our belief systems and values to them.

This made perfect sense to me as I continue to learn more about ‘being me’.

A values-centred life is one which helps us align our life and goals as one.

As I have said before, I continue to be a WIP – work-in- progress!

I’m studying a number of approaches to mindful living, and acceptance commitment therapy combined with the books by Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Anne Lamott, Elisha Goldstein, Russ Harris, Eckhardt Tolle and Tara Brach.

The quotes below have meaning for me.

What about you?

Denyse.

Here is the  source:

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Joining Raychael and blogging friends over here at Agent Mystery Case on Wednesdays.

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Self-Paced Learning. 366/69.

Self-Paced Learning. 366/69.

I like learning what makes sense to me.

Making sense to me right now is to get to know more about how aspects of my mental health can be improved.

When I say ‘improved’ I am talking about learning to live with some anxiety at times, some sadness and getting used to my life the way it is playing out now. Fortunately I am not clinically unwell. My GP is chuffed with my progress since I started seeing her last year.

It’s not news this past 12- 18 months has been quite a surprise to me! Who knew I might be affected by the life changes…but I am giving myself credit for growing resilience too.

Anyway, back to self-paced learning.

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I like the fact that I can seek different ways of learning more about life, taking time to get used to changes and how to find out more about what makes this human (ME) ticks.

Recently I have been listening to Sharon Salzberg  on LovingKindness and Meditation. Her books are also very helpful. This is her website.

Dr Brene Brown who is a shame researcher and story teller (self-described) is also someone whose works I am re-visiting via books, The Gifts of Imperfection and on CD, Rising Strong too. Lots to find out about on her website. 

Elizabeth Gilbert’s words on CD and in her book Big Magic are also bringing me messages I need to hear and absorb. She writes both fiction and non-fiction and has been a recent visitor to Australia where many heard her talk. Find more about Liz here.

Here’s one thing I have learned already! Creativity is not fearLESS…in fact, fear is necessary but not the leader. I wrote recently about making progress not being linear!

I’m no writer but I love listening to Anne Lamott on writing via her CD of the book called Bird by Bird  Check out her author profiles by looking her up on Facebook and Twitter.

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‘Learning’ at TEDXSydney 2015.

Over the many years of formal learning (and teaching) it is quite a change and a joyful one to be able to dip into this and that and take time to reflect, reject and return to the learning mode. I do not recommend any of the above books for particular needs or people. I just add them to my list of what I like and readers already know I am a sharer who cares!

I am doing art projects and challenges too and these give me an outlet for both creativity and relaxing in a fun and playful way. I will outline more of these on Saturday in my creativity post.

Are you into learning for yourself?

Denyse.

Joining with Raychael here for Wednesday sharing there and at the Blog Exchange.

Thanks to Alicia here for her link called Open Slather each Monday.

Mummy Mondays can be found here with new blogger host on allmumsaid.

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Making Progress Is Not Linear. 366/41.

Making Progress Is Not Linear. 366/41.

I’ve been making progress with my mental health, adjusting to my new (to me) life here on the coast and to the ‘newness’ of being fully retired.

There is no doubt that this has been a challenge for me.

My husband is most understanding of my changing moods which are usually short-lasting for the negative ones and getting much longer for the better ones.

This is what I call progress.

But then something occurs, or I just wake feeling somewhat anxious with no reason and it can be a difficult day spent worrying or actually getting overly stressed about having an episode of Irritable Bowel Syndrome’s diarrhoea.

That’s when I think “I am not improving”.

I also berate myself a bit and wonder why I just cannot get myself right and not go back to the older, anxious me.

Then, when I look through a lens that is not clouded with the views of the past, and I have better perspective I can see the improvements as I note them over time in a journal.

It just takes me some hours, or even a day to regain this confidence and perspective.

I now also acknowledge that grief is playing a part in the sometimes changed mood. I miss much from my past that is true. I do not regret that I have finished my paid working life, nor sold our home and moved…and I have to say, that on balance we are glad to be out of Sydney.

Of course I miss my family and ‘old way of life’. But that too is part of the past. The family is growing and changing and we, the 2 of us, are making our way in our new life together.

Just as I am unsure sometimes about the now and the future, I am also more than sure that everything will work out for us.

I just wish that progress was more linear instead of this up and down..down and up journey called LIFE.

Do you ever feel like this in some way?

Tell me more so I know I am not alone!

Denyse.

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Joining with Raychael over here at WorthCasing Wednesday.

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How’s Things With YOU? 366/34.

How’s Things With YOU? 366/34.

It’s easy for me (and I suspect many others)  to fall into the thinking of ‘woe is me’ and ‘how hard this life is right now’ when in fact it’s not too bad AT ALL. In the ‘overall scheme of things’ OSOT (my hub calls it) life is good. It is probably more than good.

The trouble with me is, I often ‘see the worst’ or the ‘default negative’ easily so when a Facebook friend shared this on Sunday it was quite a wake-up call.

I have the full source below. This list is the beginning of all of the items. Yes, it is US-based but I immediately resonated with the message.

So, have a read, and tell me, “how are things with you?”

Denyse.

PS: just to remind me….here’s something I made earlier:

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Joining in with Agent Mystery Case on WorthCasing Wednesday.

 

  • You paid the bills this month…

  • You question yourself..

  • You have a job…

  • You have time to do something you enjoy…

  • You are not worried about where your next meal is coming from..

  • You can eat because you enjoy it…

  • You have one or two truly close friends..

  • You could afford a subway ride, cup of coffee, or the gas in your car this morning…

  • You’re not the same person you were a year ago..

  • You have the time and means to do things beyond the bare minimum…

  • You have a selection of clothing at your disposal…

  • You can sense what is not right in your life… 

  • If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able so say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.” 

  • You have a space of your own..

  • You’ve lost relationships..

  • You’re interested in something..

  • You know how to take care of yourself..

  • You’re working toward a goal..

  • But you’re not uncompromisingly set on anything for your future..

  • You’ve been through some crap…

20 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are

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R U OK? Day is EVERY Day. 252/365.

R U OK? Day is EVERY Day. 252/365.

A few years ago I was one of the bloggers from the Digital Parents Australia community who co-0rdinated posts, photos and activities for a concerted effort to bring the notion of asking people about how they are…and for asking the question in the hope that people may admit to needing a bit more help in terms of their mental health.

It’s not my place to write here about the effectiveness of programs about Mental Health.

This is the direct link to the Australian government’s page which encompasses all of their Health Programs including Mental Health.

This year, R U OK?Day and World Suicide Prevention Day fall on the same date, drawing attention to Australia’s role in addressing this global public health issue. Campaign Director Rebecca Lewis said every 40 seconds someone dies by suicide[1], and we should all be doing as much as possible to prevent feelings of isolation and loneliness occurring in our community. source: r u ok site.

I only want to add that anyone, at any time needs to feel safe to admit to someone that he or she needs someone to listen to and for someone to care about that person’s welfare and well-being.

My husband is a trained volunteer telephone support person at Lifeline. He knows people are needing ‘someone to care’ and ‘someone to listen’

My mental health has been up and down since making some big changes in my life over the past two years and I’ve been ‘brave’ enough to both share here and seek professional help.

It is not a sign of ‘weakness’ or ‘your fault’. Mental illness knows no barriers nor class nor professional status.

If you are feeling like you (or someone you know needs more than a chat or a friendly shoulder to lean on…..here are some vital telephone numbers.

R (are)

U (you)

OK?

I hope so and I wish you well.

Denyse

Get Help

24 Hour Emergency Services

Lifeline Australia

13 11 14

Suicide Call Back

1300 659 467

Kids Help Line

1800 551 800

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Headspace.The Sites.Mental Health.106/365.

Headspace.The Sites.Mental Health. 106/365.

I’ve written about my headspace experience here.

I also know there is another, and equally if not more important headspace site here.

It’s about youth mental health and it’s Australian-based. I commend it to my readers as I know from immediate friend and family sources it’s much-needed.

From the Headspace site:

Contact: eheadspace – on-line information and chat. Call: 1800 650 890

URGENT Help: KidsHelpLine: 1800 551 800 Lifeline: 13 11 14

about Headspace

what we do

Headspace is the National Youth Mental Health Foundation. We help young people who are going through a tough time.

Looking for someone to talk to? If you’re 12-25, you can get health advice, support and information from headspace. With more than 70 centres around Australia, headspace can help you with:

  • General health
  • Mental health and counselling
  • Education, employment and other services
  • Alcohol and other drug services.

So we’re here for you if you:

  • are feeling down, stressed or can’t stop worrying
  • haven’t felt like yourself for a long time
  • can’t deal with school or finding it difficult to concentrate
  • are feeling sick or worried about your health
  • want to cut down on your drinking or drug use
  • want to talk about sexuality, identity or relationships
  • are having difficulties with friendships
  • have sexual health issues or want to find out about contraception
  • are being bullied, hurt or harassed
  • are worried about work or study or if you’re having money trouble
  • headspace is a place you can go to talk to someone about any of these issues.

headspace was established and funded by the Commonwealth Government of Australia in 2006.

Our primary focus is the mental health and wellbeing of all Australians. We know that getting help early is the key to resolving these problems quickly. headspace is making a difference where it is needed most – our young people.

Find out how you can get help from headspace and if there is a headspace centre near you .

To read information on issues like depression, bullying, relationship issues and much more visit our find information section.

We also have a wealth of information and services for parents and carers and professionals who work with young people.

You can also find out how you can get involved with our work on our website or find us on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

Need help urgently?

Call Lifeline on: 13 11 14

Call KidsHelpline on: 1800 551 800

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Clouds can obscure the blue sky in our lives, let’s get some more blue sky above! *blue sky is from my ‘headspace’ meditation.

 

 

Please share this, if you can.

Denyse xx

Spreading the words on Grace’s page For FYBF


 

 

 

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