Wednesday 13th November 2019

Women of Courage Series. #7. Dorothy. 74/2019.

Trigger Warning: Suicide, Grief, Family.

 

 

Women of Courage Series. #7. Dorothy. 74/2019.

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid May 2019: Wednesdays: each week.

Here is the introduction to the series.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda

Welcome to Dorothy’s story.  She is 67. In 2016 I was ‘introduced’ on-line by a fellow art lover to Dorothy who has a Mandalas For A Season Group on Facebook and in that time, we have followed each other’s stories as women of a ‘certain age and stage’ and similar careers. Dorothy’s image is her mandala for Jarrod.

 

This is the icon mandala for Jarrod I created in the week before he suicided.

Dorothy shares her story here:

I am into my 5th year of creating mandalas (from October 2014).

In my retirement from being a Primary School Principal, I began with Kathryn Costa’s 100Mandala Challenge, having dabbled in Zentangle previously. I found as I immersed myself in creating mandalas, the greatest inner peace I have ever known.

Little was I to know that I would be launched into a devastating grief experience in January 2016 when my 36 year old son suicided after 18.5 years of battling multiple complex mental health issues.

My mandalas provided me with solace and comfort and continue to do so.

In the first month I created a mandala for every year of his life, and then on the 20th of each month in the year after he died I created a mandala to honour his life.

I was moved to create a mandala community on Facebook after Kathryn Costa took her 100Mandala Sharing Circle off Facebook.

Because of the value I have found at various seasons of my life, I called the community Mandalas for a Season.

Apart from engaging fully in the mandala journey, the nurturing of this community for each member has deepened and grown, and I have developed wonderful friendships through this community.

I am not a professional mandala artist – for me it’s deeply personal, and an amazing healing and encouraging experience.

 

I have learned that the grief journey is messy, non-linear, and has no end.

It’s not a matter of getting through it. It’s a matter of continuing to breathe.

I never knew that in grief love grows.

I never knew that I would miss my son more as the days pass.

I thought that in the immediate aftermath, life would go on and the pain would dull.

I am a member of several support groups for the “bereaved from suicide”. I gain perspective from other people’s sharing and it’s been reassuring that my aches and pains, days of lethargy, a feeling of the cloud hanging low, are not unusual.

I have learned that each member of the immediate family experiences the grief differently. For one stoicism is the pattern; for another distancing oneself is needed at times, for another detaching is the way.

I have learnt not to expect that anyone else can meet my needs – that the courage to go on comes from within me, and through my mandalas.

 

Dorothy, I am honoured that you have chosen to share your story about your son and the journey with mandalas.

Thank you for your heart-felt words and telling us how it is and has been.

I am including Lifeline’s 13 11 14 here.

Denyse.

 

Follow Dorothy on Social Media:

Instagram: dorothy_heartfulmandalas

 

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends and on Fridays, it’s Open Slather here with Alicia.

Copyright © 2019 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

 

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Art,Creativity, I.C.A.D. and Me. 57/2019.

Art,Creativity, I.C.A.D. and Me. 57/2019.

A few years back, six specifically, I was told about a U.S. based creative fun art challenge called I.C.A.D.

Index Card a Day.

The founder, Tammy Garcia, is someone who is not a trained artist but one who has found creativity unlimited through art. Her website is here.

The notion of using a simple thin card called an index card to product ‘something’ creative each day for 61 days began a few years  before I joined up in 2013.

I found a place. I love it and this art and creative part of me grew and grew. I continued being part of the I.C.A.D. community is a member and for a couple of years as a moderator. I made (and continue to make) new on-line friends there and have met on of those people as she lives in Australia.

Art of some kind, not just I.C.A.D. has been immeasurably a significant part of how I have learned to manage my anxiety in the transitions of my life (retirement, leaving Sydney, moving away from family & friends) and it has been a daily activity since 2017.

Helping with Cancer.

Already having re-discovered my art/creative side back in 2013, when I was diagnosed with cancer, making something arty every day has really helped me in managing my stress, pain and worry about cancer’s return. I have written many times about this and here is the link to all of the posts.

Back to I.C.A.D. in 2019.

I had a break from I.C.A.D. in 2018 and that has made me doubly enthused to be back for 2019.

The challenge itself is a self-challenge. Complete a simple index card a day in an art-ful way for 61 days. Tammy has loads of ideas and being part of the group I know I get inspired. She makes up a list for one week at  a time of daily prompts. Like my blog prompts for Mondays, these are optional.

In one week’s time I will have published my first 2019 Index Card and will be prepping #2.

Have Fun is the Message.

If you get bogged down in ‘making art perfect’ then what you get via I.C.A.D. involvement is learning to enjoy the process and the imperfections.

Do think about joining in for 2019.

I know Alicia is from here. 

See You There, I Hope!

The direct link to finding out more is here. It is free. However, to be part of some extra connection and learning from others and Tammy there are two paid options. I have paid $9.03AUD for the $6 USD entry in special, private group. This is because the changes in Facebook and Instagram make it impossible to track your art and others.

Publishing on the Sunday before I.C.A.D. starts to give you the chance to consider signing on!!

Denyse.

Not a sponsored post. I don’t do them. This is sharing to connect if you are interested! 

 

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Updated: What Art Has Taught Me. 45/2019.

Update: What Art Has Taught Me. 45/2019.

The words below, after the photos, are from my blog post of 2017. Before I had a cancer diagnosis. When I “knew” something was going awry with me, but no-one knew specifically. I knew I needed some mindfulness in my life back in 2013. I sure did find it via Art. So much learning for me and I love(d) it. I now know this:

  • art of about the process not the product
  • art in many forms is soothing to my sometime unsure and worried self
  • art is a place and space for me
  • when I visit my art-space, I immediately focus on ONE thing!
  • this one thing, which helps me feel much more relaxed and mindful, may be about what media I will use, what I will make, or what I need to keep on doing
  • it does not matter, the thing is “I become mindful” and settle to create “art”

In 2013 I was searching for more in my life to help me through the bumps and trials.

A friend suggested an art-based group in U.S. where there was an annual challenge.

I’ve written about this a few times on the blog.

Today I am listing what Art has taught me from that mid-point in 2013 until the present.

And it’s not always about Art!!

  • I can be patient
  • I can see the world from different perspectives
  • I can select what I want to do with my art materials with confidence
  • I now know the process is more important to me than the product
  • I find that I prefer to share my art, imperfect as it is, with many and am happy to give it away when people express an interest in it
  • I find it interesting that others see different things in my artistic pursuits than I do at times
  • I enjoy the way in which I became at one with the now when I’m engaged in a creative process be it writing, photography, art or gardening

In general, Art has taught me to allow my mindfulness to be part of who I am. I am no longer striving as much nor wanting to do the next thing. It is teaching me to slow down. 

This is a good lesson to be learned!

Have you learned lessons from life?

I believe it’s a good fit for Min’s link up too. Zen Tips Tuesday found here.

On Wednesday, sharing this post with Sue and Leanne here for Midlife Share the Love.

Denyse.

 

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