Friday 22nd November 2019

My Best Birthday Cake. 23/51. #LifeThisWeek. 65/2019.

Beyond Five.

 

Denyse Whelan Head and Neck Cancer Patientnow Ambassador.

Consider a donation of $5 or more to my Virtual Event

For Head and Neck cancer patients, family and friends. This is a website and offers lots to help. It continues to grow and change but with no government funding, some donations by companies in related fields and one part-time business manager, a fund-raiser was initiated in 2018 called Soup for the Soul. Soup is often a food that patients with head and neck cancer can manage and it is comforting.

Soup for the Soul is already live and I have a Virtual Soup for the Soul page here. More about that as we get closer to World Head and Neck Cancer Day on 27 July.

 

My Best Birthday Cake. 23/51. #LifeThisWeek. 64/2019.

I cannot think of a ‘best’ birthday cake so I am going on a trip down birthday cake lane!

I think any birthday cake made for me by my Mum was a great one.

Mum might not have liked eating cake much but she sure enjoyed making them for us kids, and then her grandkids and I do think she even contributed to a great-grandchild’s birthday cake way back.

I use many of Mum’s strategies in cake making as I have her basic cake recipe in her handwriting in my recipe collection. She did not have electric beaters until the late 1950s so making by hand was even harder. Mum never had a ‘proper mixmaster’ and neither have I. We both preferred the electric hand held mixers.

My First Birthday.

Made by Mum I am sure!

My 65th Birthday.

Made by my daughter. A favourite of my late Mum’s that my daughter and I often made. Orange cake. This was a special but somewhat sad occasion as it would be the last birthday celebrated in Sydney with our children and their children. We have not celebrated any birthdays with all of the  family since. For reasons that are about distance and changes in lives of those concerned. It happens, right?

My 67th Birthday.

One little cake made by me. My husband joined me when he came home from Lifeline counselling. I remember this day well. Making an effort with my appearance because my ill-effects from IBS and anxiety (grief-like) were getting a hold. We were not to know, that within 6 months I would be diagnosed with oral cancer. And, I also did not know this would be the last time I could blow out the candle!!

And, for my 69th Birthday!

My chosen celebration was morning tea out with my lovely husband and then at home I said “we’d better have a cake and a candle”. Of course, I always have little cakes in the freezer….and here was when I found out what small limitations my mouth now had. It does not seal properly either. But no matter, the cancer is gone.

How about you?

What are your memories of birthday cakes?

I should add, I like all Mums (and possibly Dads and grandparents) got a copy of the Women’s Weekly Birthday Cake Book. My daughter now has my original. I made the “one” for our son’s 1st birthday and he is now 40. Mum took to this book well. Over the years she made the racing car track, the number that was all lamingtons, a tennis racquet cake and later on…much later, our daughter made the Thomas the Tank for her then boyfriend’s 21st.

Denyse.

Kell also has a Monday linkup here. Join in!

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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Next week’s optional prompt 24/51 Thank You to Me. 17/6/19

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Courage Is. 48/2019.

Courage Is. 48/2019.

I guess that when it comes down to it, courage is whatever it means to you.

I know I have had to draw on courage in recent years since having cancer and also being anxious during the time of retirement transition.

Each time I did something, as they say, out of my comfort zone, then I was being courageous.

When I reviewed some of my posts and photos I came up with these examples of courage.

 

That’s me….In the prosthodontist chair at Westmead. Having a 1-4 hour session.

 

2015. We left the house we sold and all that was familiar to move to the Central Coast. My courage may have been hiding on many days but “we did it.”

 

In Winter 2017 before my first surgery for cancer, I visited here to connect with the elements and rejoice in what I saw, felt and heard. This was enhancing my mood to add courage to the mix.

 

I love a wave. I used to dive into waves like these. I am now older and some of my courage has been replaced by commonsense. You see, I am wise enough to know, that this beach has rips and ‘older’ people like me can easily be knocked over.

 

After knowing I had cancer and what the surgery would mean I took this pic to represent: one step at a time. This was one of my first examples of courage to help me manage my inner fears.

 

Nothing like a hand to hold when needing more courage. Perhaps also offering a hand to another to garner their courage.

 

2016 Poppy Project in Terrigal NSW for A.N.Z.A.C. Day reminded me over and over of the courage of so many who left Australia to fight wars in other lands. Some to never return, others to return with wounded bodies and souls.

And yet, sometimes we resist. We hold back. We fall into old habits. We know what we have to do but cannot.

Pema Chodron’s words come to mind:

In terms of courage, I think I also learn from meditation, stilling my outer self and paying attention to my inner self.

Of course, I cannot stop the thoughts from coming, but I can now let them go.

Take your time, and get into some times of self-care via a meditation app or just sitting quietly with your hands in your lap and your eyes closed.

Listen…..feel….and take your time.

Each time you do this, you are helping settle an anxious body and mind. It is courageous to actually STOP . Being courageous is not all action-based.

Only you know what is courage for you!

Tomorrow, I will outline my new Wednesday series of posts called Women of Courage.

Please call in again and see what this is about.

Denyse.

Today I am linking with Min for Zen Tips Tuesday here.

On Wednesdays you will find the posts about Women of Courage here and on Thursdays here.

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Self Care. Share Your Story.#2.14/51. #LifeThisWeek. 36/2019.

Self Care. Share Your Story.#2.14/51. #LifeThisWeek. 36/2019.

In the past seven weeks what has been my self care routine?

Pretty much the same each week.

I know though that I need to remember self care before I notice I NEED to do something.

It can be so easy to forget what helps me remain as well as I can emotionally because I can get caught up with achievements, busy-ness and striving.

  • Striving.
  • Achievements
  • Being Busy.

These are words I am deleting as part of my past vocabulary.

I have been a striver, an achiever and a busy person since… 1970!

Just noticing the difference in me has been interesting to say the least!

Here’s what I notice:

  • I am walking more slowly
  • I am noticing more around me
  • I am prepared to actually sit and just enjoy being relaxed
  • I give myself permission to go on social media for a while but to be careful to notice when social media changes me emotionally…then I get off
  • I can actually waste time. Some would be horrified at this but I now know I can!
  • I like to read books and articles I enjoy and sometimes learn more but I can also just ‘chill’ like this
  • I can go outside and notice what is happening in the garden

I am still enjoying my dress with purpose and having a photo taken.

I love going out for a solo coffee still

I do like catching up with people this way too.

 

What does your self care look like these days?

Are there changes you are making?

Tell us more!

Denyse.

Linking here on Mondays with Kell for Mummy Mondays.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next week’s optional prompt: 15/51 Share Your Snaps. 15/4/19

 

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Your Moral Compass. 33/2019.

Your Moral Compass. 33/2019.

Wisdom Helps Develop a Moral Compass.

This post’s content is over 4 years old and was originally posted by me. In recent months, despite my zen-type practices and holding a greater sense of awareness of what I CAN do something about and what I cannot, I have become increasingly concerned about whether there is an understanding of what it is to have AND use your moral compass. What’s the way in which you live your life and go about each day?

For some people it’s a faith-based life.

In others, it’s an inner way of being, doing and living.

Then I ask you, dear reader, do you follow your moral compass?

Is the answer yes, or maybe or depends or no?

Let me offer my view.

Without my moral compass I would have made and continue to make decisions that have been destructive or illegal or just plain hurtful to myself and others.

I have no specific events or tales to tell here. But I do know I listen to and feel my ‘moral compass’ and let myself consider things all the time in this way.

However, if you are not ‘feeling’ or ‘knowing’ what your moral compass is for or about, then you may be finding that life is not working so well.

My advice in life is this:

Listen to your heart.

Feel things in your gut.

Ask yourself…’does this seem right’

BE TRUE TO YOU and YOU WILL BE OK!

Here’s what some others said about “a moral compass” as I updated this post for the “now” of 2019.

I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own. Michelle Obama. 

Sometimes, in order to follow our moral compass and/or our hearts, we have to make unpopular decisions or stand up for what we believe in. Tabatha Coffey.

Never jeopardise who you are for a role. Now, I’m not saying you should never change for a role, because the fun of being different characters is adapting different nuances and different parts of the character, but never jeopardise your moral compass or anything like that to have a role. Yara Shahidi.

Today we are engaged in a deadly global struggle for those who would intimidate, torture, and murder people for exercising the most basic freedoms. If we are to win this struggle and spread those freedoms, we must keep our own moral compass pointed in a true direction. Barack Obama.

I try to have the right thing happen at the end of the case, try to have the case have a moral compass to it, try to do a little teaching while I’m at it because that’s the, you know, that’s the preacher in me. Judy Sheindlin.

You have to follow your moral compass: it’s a good guide of telling you what is right and wrong. Cailee Spaeny.

Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/search_results?q=moral+compass

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Do you get the feeling not everyone uses or chooses to use their moral compass?

Have you come across someone whose moral compass seems to be very mis-aligned with your values and ethics?

I know I have from time to time and it makes/made me very uncomfortable. The “opposite” of zen!

Meanwhile, to get myself ‘back to balance’ I continue to do these:

*art of some kind every day

*get out in nature, either in my own backyard or by the beach or river

*see the ‘good’ in others……really look for it and you will see it too!

So, joining with Min today, as I can’t be letting this topic go….and her place on-line on Tuesdays is meant to be ‘zen’ tips. Maybe the one tip I could add, is “have YOU looked at your moral compass recently?”….to our leaders, politicians and all those who have the power to change…..

Denyse.

 

 

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