Wednesday 13th November 2019

Women Of Courage Series. #25. Anonymous. 112/2019.

Women of Courage Series. #25. Anonymous. 112/2019.

Trigger warning: Domestic Violence, Family Violence, Mental Illness.

 

 

Woman of Courage #25  has chosen to be anonymous.

There will be no replies from this poster.

She will, however, be reading and I will be responding as I always do to readers’ comments.

Thank you for your understanding.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda.

I do know the person who has chosen to be anonymous.

I am in awe of her courage and was honoured when she decided to share this in this on-line space.

 

What have you faced in your life where you have had to be courageous?

In the recent past, I was a victim of family violence. (Not of the intimate partner variety, but of the extended family variety – I’ve learnt a lot since it happened, and one of the things that I’ve learnt is that if you’re related in any way, it’s still classified as family violence.)

It was a single terrifying incident, although with the benefit of hindsight I can see the years of conditioning and gaslighting that preceded it. There were two perpetrators, and my children and I were the targets. I had to be courageous in the moment, even as my mind refused to believe what was happening. And I have had to be courageous since, making decisions to protect us and taking actions that I knew might lose us other family members and friends who refused to hear about what happened.

 

How did this change you in any way? Please outline further if this has been the case.

In the moment, I learnt that the fight, flight or freeze response isn’t an either/or scenario. My initial response was to freeze. My mind could not accept what my eyes, ears and skin were telling me. A scream from my children flicked the switch to fight (though not of a physical variety – I instead said what I thought the perpetrators wanted to hear) until I could create a path to my children and then onwards with them to flight.

In terms of diagnoses, this incident changed me by bringing the terms anxiety, adjustment disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) into my life. It also brought imposter syndrome back into my life. In the past, it had usually been related to career success; this time, it was feeling that my one little incident wasn’t ‘worthy’ of PTSD. How dare I compare myself and my itty-bitty incident to a returned soldier’s experiences of combat?

In terms of practicalities, well… I’m still working through it all. I went through the stages of grief, which is to be expected. But I spent so long in denial that I did not accept the truth and depth of the incident and its effect on me for months. It took me a long time to accept my experience as traumatic. It took me longer still to recognise and accept that there was no shame in the experience, and no shame in the label of traumatic.

The incident broke my trust. With the perpetrators, of course, but also with others. With everyone, at first. I’d been conditioned to doubt myself around the perpetrators, and that continued. My brain constantly told me everyone was on their side, everyone thought I was overreacting, everyone was going to set up another ambush, everyone was against me, and wasn’t that fair enough? Wasn’t I overreacting? Did I really remember everything correctly? I had to rebuild my trust in people who had never done anything to deserve losing it in the first place.

Other changes? Fundamental beliefs and truths I held – such as my belief in the inherent goodness in all people – were shattered. (I’m working toward believing it again one day. I’m just not there yet.) Meanwhile, my belief that everyone has a right to freedom and safety has been strengthened. It might be truer to say it was created: I had simply taken it for granted previously.

 

Is there something you learned from this that you could recommend to help others who need courage?

The things I’ve learnt are not fun, so I apologise to anyone not ready to hear these things. But here are the main things I’ve learnt (or things I knew that are now cemented):

  • ‘Family’ is not an excuse for violent behaviour. (In fact, it should be a promise for good.)
  • You don’t owe violent people anything. Your time, your regrets, mediation, compromise, placation, forgiveness. Anything.
  • There is no such thing as neutrality in violence. If someone says they want to remain neutral, or don’t want to get involved or pick sides, it’s too late. Whether consciously or not, they’ve already picked a side. And it’s not the victim’s.
  • You can’t control what people think about you. If people want to believe the worst of you without even speaking to you, based on nothing more than the lies of the perpetrators, that’s on them, not you. It still hurts, but you’re better off without such people in your life.
  • Anyone who expects you to compromise your safety for them isn’t worth it.
  • There is no excuse for violence.

These don’t sound like tips for courage, but knowing these things – not just logically knowing these things, but truly believing these things deep in my bones – are what eventually gave me the courage to take legal action.

One other thing I’ve learnt: lean on your support network. (You might have to wait until you’ve relearnt to trust your support network.) Many see the development of courage as a solo endeavour, but in my case it was a team sport. With my wonderful husband as captain and coach.

 

Do you think you are able to be more courageous now if the life situation calls for it? Why is that?

I don’t think it’s a case of being more courageous. It’s a case of knowing what otherwise dormant courage I already have, knowing what I will and won’t stand for, and recognising it sooner. Violence toward or in front of me and my children grants you an instant dismissal from our lives, do not pass GO, do not collect $200. And when I say violence, I now mean violence in all of its forms, including manipulative, controlling and coercive behaviour.

I do think I’d have the courage to take legal action sooner if something like this happened again. Courage borne from knowing that seeing the perpetrators in court a few times is preferable to not knowing if they’ll pop up anytime, anywhere and constantly living with the fear of that happening.

 

Is there any message you would give to others facing a situation where courage could be needed?

Courage isn’t a steely resolve. Courage isn’t determination or steadfastness. Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

I felt the fear. I felt the anxiety, the panic attacks, the self-doubt. And, eventually, with great support and understanding from the people I love and had relearnt to trust, I did it anyway.

And if I ever have to, I’ll do it again.

 

 

I so appreciate the thought and decision that went into this post from Anonymous.

Thank you for sharing this.

Please note: these numbers:

https://www.respect.gov.au/services/ Emergency: 000 or 1800 RESPECT

Lifeline: 13 11 14.

 

Denyse.

Joining each Wednesday with Sue and Leanne here for Mid Life Share the Love Linky.

On Thursdays I link here for Lovin Life with Leanne and friends and on Fridays, it’s Open Slather here with Alicia.

Copyright © 2019 denysewhelan.com.au – All rights reserved.

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Gratitude In My 70th Birthday Month*. 43/51 #LifeThisWeek. 107/2019.

Gratitude In My 70th Birthday Month*. 43/51 #LifeThisWeek. 107/2019.

Yes, dear blogger, “this” is the optional prompt *Your Favourite Book As a Child for this week but I have gone on another direction leading up to November.

Here’s more about why!

P.S. Favourite book as a child was definitely the Folk of the Faraway Tree (and its spin offs by Enid Blyton)

Having embraced the notion of turning 70 at the end of November, I wanted to make it a special one via my Instagram feed (which also goes to Facebook and Twitter) so

G R A T I T U D E 

is my go-to for expressing appreciation for my life…to date!

It’s now something I am far, far more aware of as a healing tool for me. I used to dismiss my husband’s “wise words” about gratitude as my head was not in the right space back in 2015- early 2017 to feel anything other than a far bit of fearBut, over time, and with a cancer diagnosis, I got more into understanding the need to express gratitude and to feel grateful. Two things…not just say, but actually feel.

The photos below have helped me remember gratitude. And to express it!

Earlier this year I wrote 4 posts in a series about gratitude which were part of my linking up with Min here for Zen Tips Tuesday.

Post One. Post Two. Post Three. Post Four.

Now for my birthday month, I am celebrating with an instagram post expressing my gratitude.

 

A good idea for coming up to 70 I think!

Celebrating love..and US. Grateful for over 49 years together.

 

 

I am suggesting if you wanted to follow along, and you are on Instagram (ask for follow, @denysewhelan1 if you don’t already), then these would be the hashtags:

#30daysofgratitude

#celebratelife

I am going to list a large number of prompts (I made it to 70!) and *my husband is referring to mine (as above!) with no order nor even suggesting how they are used.

It is up to you!

  • my husband*      nature      food      creativity       skills
  • kindness       health     simplicity      out & about 
  • colours     the sea   my life    friends    water
  • thought    change   life stage   travel    movement
  • connection   community    seen   felt   hearing
  • smelled    tasted   world   spirituality    art
  • photography     weather    seasons    social media
  • birthdays    blogging    freedom   recognition 
  • books   music    fun    time    coffee   
  • contentment    cake    singing    life    shopping
  • education    career   health professionals    study  
  • curiosity    relaxation   mindfulness   painting 
  • my country of origin    language   history   games
  • grass    air conditioning   my car   family
  • our children    our grandchildren   learning 
  • socialising    enough money   shelter   cancer treatments

Just in case you would like some inspiration too: A few pertinent quotes:

“The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.” —Dalai Lama

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” —William Arthur Ward

We learned about gratitude and humility – that so many people had a hand in our success, from the teachers who inspired us to the janitors who kept our school clean… and we were taught to value everyone’s contribution and treat everyone with respect. – Michelle Obama

I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude. Brene Brown

source for all: Brainy Quotes.

Have you avoided, then changed your mind about celebrating a milestone birthday?

I admit I took some encouraging to get ‘with it’.

Denyse.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s optional prompt is: 44/51 Colours I Love 4/11/19

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My Go-To Easy Meal. 38/51#LifeThisWeek. 97/2019.

Celebration time…and I forgot!

Last week marked 3 years of this link up. Three years, on Mondays, for over 150 of them, you and I have connected and communicated here. Thank you all so very much! Onward into 2020 for sure. I “do” have some thinking to do to find the optional prompts but it’s part of what I love about our community sharing our posts, on or off prompts on Mondays! Denyse xx

 

My Go-To Easy Meal. 38/51#LifeThisWeek. 97/2019.

My go-to easy meal is: Toast.

OK, it’s cereal. Alright.

It’s neither for a ‘main meal’ which we have in the evening but there is still a bit of a chore even to decide on a meal isn’t there?

But first: we both eat well at Breakfast time:

His always includes my non-fave fruit. Mine often includes yoghurt, fruit and more.

Eating after mouth cancer and surgeries.

It is HARD even now, some 12+ months to eat anything like a real meal. Why? It’s about chewing ability (my mouth tires) and having the capacity to chew it well enough to swallow. I admit, I do love the look of some meals I see on others’ blogs and on-line but the truth is none of them are ones I can even countenance eating. In taking the time it does to eat even a small bowl of food, it often goes cold as I try to finish and that make it unappealing. But I am doing this eating thing MUCH better than before the upper prosthesis of teeth went in.

Meals made to go along with my husband’s limited capacity to eat.

His is based on stomach surgeries quite some time back and he has, at times, some swallowing troubles.

BUT…this is not a post about “How Old People Eat” per se but it may give insight into both our changing appetites and capacity to eat as we did back in our 20s to say 50s. And my Dad in his 90s, who as my Mum used to say “lived to eat, not eat to live” finds smaller meals the only ones he can manage.

Not actually go-to meals but actually go-to the freezer and take out a meal. Some of these meals USED to include rice bases and spaghetti too but for me, 14 months of eating those has required a re-think and I have done it. I will come back to some of those meals again, but not for a while.

I do batch cooking. That means less fuss everything and not having to think ‘what’s for dinner?’ It also means that each of us two has a choice of a meal that we feel like that night.

Mid-week we dine together on a freshly made meal and one that can be also eaten the next night.

What do our batch-cooked meals comprise?

At the moment:

  • Beef Casserole
  • Savoury Mince
  • Sausage and Veg Dish
  • Sweet & Sour Chicken
  • Vegetable Soup with Ham
  • Pumpkin and Carrot Soup.
  • Meat Pies: my savoury mince inside. KMart Piemaker is a good size. Not as big as Sunbeam.

Both of us need ‘easy to swallow meals’ hence all above have some kind of sauce or fluid.

Eggs.

Such a standby for many I know.

However, I can barely look at an egg that’s been poached (I scroll by everyone’s brunch/breakkie pics on IG) but I can, at times eat scrambled egg and a family heirloom dish called Egg and Cheese.

My Dad’s mum made this in 1930s and he passed it on. My daughter likes it too. In a pan, quickly add an egg and also some grated tasty cheese, with a fork keep the ingredients together (no egg white to be seen for me) and as it comes together in the pan, it will brown on the bottom making it very tasty. I can eat this on small pieces of buttered toast.

That’s the go-to-meals for me.

However, somewhere along the line “I” have to go-to the shops and buy the ingredients and bring them home. Neither of us can handle take-away foods anymore: portions and high fat. So what we eat, is in most cases, what I cook!

What’s your go-to meal(s) story?

Denyse.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s optional prompt is: 39/51 Spring Stories. 30/9/19

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What Is Love? 37/51 #LifeThisWeek. 95/2019.

What Is Love? 37/51 #LifeThisWeek. 95/2019.

This is about love.

Not all lovey-dovey love.

But love when it matters, how it lasts and the constant re-calibrating a long, long relationship thanks to:

L O V E

Whilst I grew up in a family which went to church on occasion, and I heard this verse a few times at weddings, I am quoting it today from the bible as I have always felt an affinity to these words:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)

Here’s what love is and looks like, in more recent times in our life together. 49 years in October since we met. Been together ever since!

Keeping our love for each other bright…is quite the journey.

Fortunately we enjoy very similar senses of humour, a love of kids, teaching and a zest for learning more. Always learning.

Whilst my husband endured more than anyone’s fair share of illness and medical conditions which saw him having to medically retire young, he got on with life. Changing his work, over time, to be a kitchen and cabinet maker as well as an educational tutor. In his latter years he too studied at tertiary level and used his qualifications to counsel others. Always a fantastic support to me during my career, his wisdom helped me through some challenging years.

We have parented two children: a girl and a boy. We are so blessed (yes we are) to have eight loving grandchildren, 6 girls and 2 boys. But more than anything…we have each other.

We are loving this post working, post child-rearing, post grandchild-caring life of ours very much. It will be more enhance with a house of our own again one day but for now, we love each other’ company but also do quite a bit separately based on our interests.

Here’s to love…and what it’s been more recently: Recently is from my cancer diagnosis in May 2017 (see here for first time readers)  until now. The amount of time he has given to take me to appointments in Sydney (I now do them alone and have since April 2018) and elsewhere, to ‘find’ a chocolate paddlepop if he could when I was first home from hospital, to be as patient as he could with ‘this patient’ and then to let me know (if I hadn’t already) it was time to get outside, go out and stop whingeing…. I do/did. Mostly. But he also understands I need to get the words out.

And here’s what some recent examples of love look like for us.

And I may not have photos for these but lastly:

  • He surprised me with my new apple watch to ‘celebrate’ two years since cancer
  • He got a new banjo. Just because. Not really, he loves playing his piano and guitars and regretted selling his old banjo, so now he has one!
  • He likes Bunnings. I don’t but I understand shopping!
  • I like arts and crafts. I kind of know how to spend a little less…even though he is very understanding
  • We have date morning tea once a week
  • We watch a session of recorded tv (The Block for now) each afternoon together. We have very different tastes in viewing. He is a Netflix fan, and a sports fan but I tend to just use social media.
  • We disagree. A lot. But we accept, generally, our differences.
  • We annoy each other. A bit. But we move on.
  • We are good for each other. I reckon ‘opposites’ attract. He is tall, I am not. He is ‘big picture’ I am ‘details’. He is…a bloke. I am not.

AND… one thing we always say we remember …even at our worst…is seeing each other for the first time on 17 October 1970, sitting at the opposite ends of a table, and we

S M I L E D…and that dear readers, was that!

I am grateful to have a long-lasting loving relationship.

Denyse.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s optional prompt is: 38/51 Your Go-To Easy Meal. 23/9/19

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Gratitude. 31/51. #LifeThisWeek. 83/2019.

Gratitude. 31/51. #LifeThisWeek. 83/2019.

If you’ve read here for a while, then you will know I have posted about gratitude a few times, there are two here and here.

I truly have to remember gratitude more…especially at times which begin to ensnare themselves into my default negative. So, without further ado is more….

in photos and some words about:

 

G R A T I T U D E. 

  1. spaces in nature to go for contemplation
  2. family: our daughter  & her 3 adult kids
  3. us with our daughter (HB to her for tomorrow)
  4. my health professionals keeping me well after head and neck cancer
  5. double shot latte, small: daily treat (and need!)
  6. wed since Jan 1971. love is all we need.
  7. mandalas & my creative arts
  8. family: our son’s 4 kids.
  9. the ocean. always.

 

More about gratitude:

Family. Nothing better. Daughter’s youngest in this one!

 

Two years of amazing, though challenging, recovery from head and neck cancer.

 

 

I know when I need to go here more…and that starts this week!

 

 

Recently I found this small book at Big W and it has bite-sized very useful sections to read and consider. This from ‘gratitude’

I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened. Mark Twain.

The mind is like a torch, shining on either the sorrows or the joys, the problems or solutions in our life. Fortunately we hold the  torch and get to choose where to shine it. Gratitude is not just a state of being. It’s a habit. And like any habit, it requires training. When we train our mind to dwell in gratitude regularly we will also dwell in peace.

 

I do need to express gratitude more regularly but this was a start last week.

 

 

This is my home screen locked. I may not remember to write 3 things I am grateful for but it is a reminder to be grateful.

 

 

Message on the sand from me to me and others who pass by.

 

 

28 women have shared or are yet to share their stories! How grateful I am for them. Thank you all.

 

Many of us who are bloggers and on social media are always up for a catch-up in real life when possible and on the weekend I was delighted to do this for the third time with the amazing and friendly Sanch who blogs here. Thank you for a great morning!

 

Do you practise gratitude?

How do you do this?

Share in comments if you are up for it!

Denyse.

 

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next week’s link up: 32/51 What Makes You Laugh? 12/8/19

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Self-Care: Share Your Story#3. 21/51#LifeThisWeek 58/2019.

Self-Care: Share Your Story #3 21/51 #LifeThisWeek 58/2019.

You know I thought I had self-care pretty well sorted. Turns out that is not always the case.

Back story:

I talk about and write about self-care but….when it comes to me, there are times I neglect to take into account some of my life circumstances and events where I may need to UP the self-care.

Does this make sense?

I found, to my detriment, that the need for self-care is especially high when I have:

  • had a time of remembering cancer’s decision to lodge in with me 2 years ago which I wrote about for several weeks before the 2 year anniversary
  • more emotions tucked under my more confident exterior than I realise
  • been to a cancer-centred place and
  • had a cancer check at said place

That was my Tuesday 21 May 2019.

How did I come to this conclusion?

From a 9 a.m. departure from home, to a 4 p.m. arrival , I realised, even though I love driving& returning to Sydney, that it had been a BIG day:

  • finding a park somewhere near any hospital is a pain but I did, it was quite a hike away & the carpark was not made for SUVs (mine is not huge!)
  • being on time for my catch up is important to me as was getting a double shot latte (and lemon delicious tart) into me before the meeting
  • having a good talk with N from Beyond Five and seeing my head and neck nurse too
  • leaving some art materials with the art program head at Lifehouse and being asked to come back to speak to other cancer patients about my positive take on life after a cancer diagnosis and how art helps me
  • being surrounded by the legacy of Professor Chris O’Brien in this amazing place, Lifehouse, named after him
  • viewing his memorabilia marking 10 years since his passing, even though I did not get to meet him, I have met his wife
  • attending my 3 monthly check marking 2 years since cancer diagnosis
  • getting good news (I guess) that there is no cancer present but I will need a CT scan next week….and be back for a check up in 4 months
  • having a wonderful chat and laughs with both my surgeon and nurse
  • them showing appreciation of my role as an Ambassador and getting some photos taken

and that without having cancer, I would not have been there nor had these experiences.

So: I HAVE had cancer and it’s always present (in mind if not body: cross fingers) and when that sank in, and I was tired & teary the next day…with some evidence of my old faithful emotional measure, IBS…

I KNEW what to do NEXT time.

For optimal self care I need to  allow the day after a big one like this to be a transition and be gentle to myself. In words and actions. Some art, some time outside in nature and something nice to eat with my coffee and to manage some more mindful and compassionate times telling myself how that’s been a tough time, but how I am caring for myself better now.

Oh. The new Apple Watch is helping me too. Stopping to breathe mindfully  or one minute every hour and counting my activity as it is good for me to be active – within the limits of my current physical health.

That’s what I have been up to.

 

Do you find you need a ‘day of rest or better care’ after a big event of any kind?

Denyse.

Kell also has a Monday linkup here. Join in!

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Weeks’ Optional Prompt: 22/51 First Job. 3/6/19

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Women Of Courage Series. Introduction. 49/2019.

Women of Courage Series. Introduction. 49/2019.

Denyse Whelan Blogs.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda

 

           

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid May 2019: Wednesdays: each week.

http://denysewhelan.com.au

I am  introducing the series with  examples from (my!) life. That post will go live on Wednesday 15 May 2019.

After that, at certain intervals,  other “women of courage”, will be having their stories shared via a post here.

It is a goal of mine as a blogger to connect us all and to share our stories.

Thank you for your interest as a reader and commenter here.

I look forward to this series as the year proceeds and we all get to read about some different and wonderful:

                                 Women of Courage

 The words of Brene Brown helped inspire me in recent years.

“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognise the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad. Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as “ordinary courage.” 

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.” 

“The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time.” 

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” 

About Brene Brown PhD, LMSW is a research professor at the University of Houston, US, and has spent the past 16 years studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy. She’s the author of a number of books (and I have them on CD as well) including “Rising Strong” and “Daring Greatly”. Her acclaimed TEC talk on vulnerability is one of the five most watched, with over 30 million views.

 

Her program, on courage, is on Netflix here:

https://www.netflix.com/au/title/81010166

Looking forward to the next weeks and months as this blog hosts:

Women of Courage. 

This is what I wrote to each woman who agreed to be part of this series. Interestingly I had only “one” knock back. I am so proud of the women who are sharing their stories in the weeks and months to come.

 

Thank you for agreeing to share your story for my Women of Courage series of posts which will be published from mid May 2019 onwards.

I got this idea from attending the Newcastle Writers Festival and hearing the wonderful Jane Caro speak about her book Accidental Feminists. IF you ever get a chance to listen to or read Jane’s works they are very good.

What I considered after that day and in the days to come is how we women have a tendency to underplay our achievements and whatever else we are doing in our lives. I know this is changing.

Many of you know I have had the experience of a cancer diagnosis, treatment and recovery and I am aware I had to garner a lot of courage to come through much of what has happened. However, when my own courage post is live, you will read something different where I believe I was courageous.

I am excited, interested and curious about these stories from real life…and women of courage!

I hope you are too.

If you would like to share your story of being a woman of courage* please let me know in the comments and I will email you. That would be great!

*there are no men included as I  think we women do not talk or not write about our stories enough which is why I have called the series: Women of Courage.

Denyse.

Joining with Sue and Leanne here for Wednesday’s Midlife Share The Love linky,

With Leanne on Thursday for Lovin Life link up here AND with Alicia on Fridays for Open Slather here.

Thank you all for your link ups.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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