Monday 23rd September 2019

Self-Care: Share Your Story #5. 34/51 #LifeThisWeek. 89/2019.

Self-Care: Share Your Story #5. 34/51 #LifeThisWeek. 89/2019.

The past few weeks have been less about self-care and more about caring what others think and say.

I “know” that is not the ideal way to live my life going forward but in some ways I think it’s connected with a major life-experience which was about to occur at this time of year in 2002. I wrote about it here. I get to this time of year and ask myself ‘what’s wrong?’ when I have nothing much happening to make me feel a little less confident and emotional. Then I look at the date. So, knowing this helps and it reminds me to accept that I still have sad feelings about how I had to walk away from my principal’s role but that I also got on with my life as best as I could once the first 12 months of being treated for the effects had helped.

I have written about this in a series of posts last September if you would like to read them.

September Stories 1. September Stories 2. September Stories 3. September Stories 4.

I also used my story for my Women of Courage post, here.

Self-Care and What It Looks Like Now For Me.

Appreciation For The Support & Love. Moving On.

 

Doing this more. Getting Outside.

 

If I do not care for my mouth and prosthesis properly then I am not self-caring for my physical health. My daily routine.

 

This was something different. Very small pizza, takeaway. Two meals! Worth it? Not really but I gave it go.

 

Using some of my me-time for creating and liking the results.

 

My daily coffee, treat and using my mini art journal. Getting out every.single.day. whether I feel like it or not IS the best self-care I have.

 

Letting others know of my appreciation for them. Self-care is shared.

 

This was important to me from a self-care and love viewpoint. Top images this year, bottom ones a year ago. I was so pleased, despite some weight gain (with teeth!) I could still wear the clothes.

So I found some examples in the end. Thank goodness. I haven’t really lost the ability to self-care, it’s just a blip in the progress I am making and I am honest enough to share the reasons as I see why.

How is your self-care going?

What’s your best tip for when you are least feeling like being self-caring?

Denyse.

 

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

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Taking Stock #3. 27/51. Life This Week. 75/2019.

Taking Stock #3. 27/51. Life This Week. 75/2019.

My Soup for the Soul

For the last two years I have been recovering from cancer. Specifically a rare cancer in my upper gums and under the top lip. Oral cancer is part of the Head and Neck cancer group. It’s not well-known and this is WHY I have continued to spread the awareness news…and WHY I add the link to the fundraiser I have on-line to help the organisation Beyond Five where I am an Ambassador. To date, I now have wonderful donations bringing my current total to almost $300. Thank you. This the link to where you, should you choose, may donate.

Of interest to me is the Taking Stock I did just before my big cancer surgery in July 2017. Here it is...with many caring comments from friends I know here.

Taking Stock #3 : 2 years on! 2019.

Making: decisions about how much time I spend sharing my art time with and for others….and coming up with the response I need to do more that is just for me now.

Cooking: little cupcakes. I think I write this a lot. Cupcakes get me through tough days and having fewer teeth. The current group are tiny ones and being made for the Soup for The Soul event coming up at Central Coast Head and Neck Cancer Support group’s fundraiser.

Drinking: after water, double shot small lattes. Every day.

Reading: two items: The Sydney Morning Herald which we now have to go and buy as home delivery is becoming extinct here. The late Chris O’Brien’s memoir. He was a superb head and neck surgeon whose skills and vision saw people like my head and neck surgeon trained under him and my head and neck nurse practitioner. His idea too, after seeing comprehensive cancer centres in the US, was Australia needed these….

Wanting: to keep sharing the stories of Chris O’Brien Lifehouse because if not for Chris and his vision, I would not have had such a friendly, comprehensive cancer hospital for my surgeries and check ups and where I feel very welcomed.

Looking: at my Apple Watch. To see how my steps, standing and getting exercise circles (rings) join up.

Playing: for the third time, Boy Swallows Universe by Trent Dalton via Audible, in my car.

Wasting: too much time on thoughts that do not need chasing nor imagining into more/worse.

Wishing: I could achieve (gain?) contentment on a more regular basis instead of striving as much as my personality seems to dictate.

Enjoying: being back to ‘listening’ to books over and over. See above for Boy Swallows Universe.

Waiting: for some appointments where there is a bit of apprehension..one is with a new psychologist as I need to share how the grief of cancer along with ageing is confronting, and visit #38 or #39 with my prosthodontist to see ‘how my upper prosthesis’ is going.

Liking: just being ‘the two of us’. For all those years of a  household caring for kids, working long hours in busy and responsible jobs, caring for grandkids part-time….and part-time work…it’s just US being retired, yes some ageing is part of this, but it’s just us. Married for 48 years.

Wondering: how Dad’s health will continue to be so good for so long. He is 95.5 years!! Still very independent.

Loving: having time as best as I can make it work for me.

Hoping: that friends & family who need to find work/stay in work roles they enjoy can stay employed at the level they choose.

Marvelling: at people who understand anything ‘science- related.’

Needing: to ensure I do not obsess about how many steps I take…which are actually in competition with me…

Smelling: the sea when I get out of the car at The Entrance and always being taken back to January school holidays in the 1990s when we took family vacations there.

Wearing: clothes that I enjoy wearing and that I am much more (literally & figuratively) comfortable in – after some small “panics” about weight gain…which turned out for be good for my health. Who knew?

Following: people on twitter who make me think and also are prepared to have a decent and non-abusive conversation: I follow #education and #headandneckcancer mostly and make a contribution.

Noticing: there is a lot to be more grateful for which makes me actually notice more!

Knowing: I will forget some of my newer behavioural strategies to manage my reactions to potential stress…and give myself a break when I do.

Thinking: that I could do with less thinking…the one I am getting better at ‘over thinking’.

Feeling: Love – for and of others.

Bookmarking: every single page it seems where I save something on facebook. Best I review that.

Opening: my emails and seeing donations to the above cause. Thank you!

Smiling: every.single.day. because I MISSED my big smile for 14 months!

Do you ‘take stock’ regularly? Thanks Pip Lincoln for her original taking stock here.

Denyse.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


Next week’s optional prompt: 28/51 Self-Care: Share Your Story #4 15/7/19

 

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Share Your Snaps #5. #LTW25/51. My Head & Neck Cancer Photos 2017-2019. 71/2019.

Share Your Snaps #5. #LTW25/51. My Head & Neck Cancer Photos 2017-2019. 71/2019.

I am choosing to celebrate my two years + since head and neck cancer diagnosis in images that mean much to me as a patient who is using this medium to show:

Surgeries,

Healing,

Gratitude,

Waiting, 

Becoming Well.

Some images may be confronting to you. The nature of having a head and neck cancer is that it is brutal in its ways of eradicating it. Be it surgery (my sole treatments), radiation, chemotherapy or a combination of all. Please consider using my experience to get your mouth checked and to follow up any pain, lumps & bumps in the head, neck, under ear areas….And please think about a donation to my Virtual Fundraiser for BeyondFive where I am a volunteer Ambassador. Link at the end. Thank you. 

 

1. Where recovery began. Chris O’Brien Lifehouse in July 2017 and realities of being home and what my body was doing to heal.

2. My ‘mouth’ reconstructed…and lots of waiting for more surgeries and needing to adapt to changes in my mouth. Surgery in Feb 2018 too.

3. And a 4th surgery…gets me closer to upper teeth but such a long wait with a stent attached inside. Getting my #HNC awareness happening & supporting the first Soup for the Soul event telling my local MP about it.

 

4. Many trips to Westmead as my mouth needed measurements, cleaning of abutments area and so on. I had 2 more surgeries to make my mouth ‘teeth ready.’ My first meeting with Central Coast HNC patients. I had not met another HNC patient till almost a year after my first surgery. And....S M I L E.

 

5. So many reasons to smile, show appreciation & help support the works of HNC groups, meet with Beyond Five, smile at my surgeon and see the realities of inside my mouth, with my prosthodontist telling me all about how this is screwed into the cheekbone and more. Yikes. No wonder it hurts at times.

6. With my recovery continuing my confidence improved.It was great to have some special occasions including a belated retirement medal presentation, meet-ups in December & Christmas at our place & to celebrate my 69th birthday at the the end of November.

7. In early Jan 2019 a quick trip to COBLH to see my surgeon where he confirmed ‘extra skin’ was just that, not cancer…and that threw me for a bit (cancer as a possibility). It was good to think about it and consider gratitude and we celebrated an 18th Bday & our Feb meeting of CC HNC support group had a special guest.

 

8. And the memories of the 2 years before were strong but I gave myself credit for getting through tough times then and now. Meeting up with friends AND authors who are friends was fab! My mouth reality is here too. Bit graphic: Before Cancer diagnosed.

 

9. Celebrated my 2 years since diagnosis with my husband on 17 May and he said ” time for the Apple Watch you’ve wanted”. Recently I’ve helped share another HNC patient’s story for Beyond Five, met my daughter for Mother’s Day, had another CC HNC group meeting at the Cancer Council, saw my prosthodontist, my dentist too…and at the special celebration of Chris O’Brien’s legacy for Head and Neck cancer in early June at COBLH loved seeing my surgeon, Prof Jonathan Clark (who became AM from Queen’s Bday honours the next weekend!) and my HNC Nurse Practitioner Justine. I am so fortunate!!

 

10. My friend updated my image for the blog after it had been showing my way before cancer image for 4 years. Now, that feels more like me!

 

Denyse Whelan Head and Neck Cancer Patient now Ambassador.

Consider a donation of $5 or more to my Virtual Event

For Head and Neck cancer patients, family and friends. This is a website and offers lots to help. It continues to grow and change but with no government funding, some donations by companies in related fields and one part-time business manager, a fund-raiser was initiated in 2018 called Soup for the Soul. Soup is often a food that patients with head and neck cancer can manage and it is comforting.

Soup for the Soul is already live and I have a Virtual Soup for the Soul page here.  World Head and Neck Cancer Day is on 27 July.

Have you shared your snaps today?

Denyse.

Kell also has a Monday linkup here. Join in!

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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Women Of Courage Series. Introduction. 49/2019.

Women of Courage Series. Introduction. 49/2019.

Denyse Whelan Blogs.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It’s doing something that frightens you. We face situations that demand courage every day. These situations provide us with choices, and the way we respond to those choices determines our future. Dayne Shuda

 

           

A series of blog posts on Denyse Whelan Blogs to be found here from mid May 2019: Wednesdays: each week.

http://denysewhelan.com.au

I am  introducing the series with  examples from (my!) life. That post will go live on Wednesday 15 May 2019.

After that, at certain intervals,  other “women of courage”, will be having their stories shared via a post here.

It is a goal of mine as a blogger to connect us all and to share our stories.

Thank you for your interest as a reader and commenter here.

I look forward to this series as the year proceeds and we all get to read about some different and wonderful:

                                 Women of Courage

 The words of Brene Brown helped inspire me in recent years.

“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognise the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad. Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as “ordinary courage.” 

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.” 

“The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time.” 

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” 

About Brene Brown PhD, LMSW is a research professor at the University of Houston, US, and has spent the past 16 years studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy. She’s the author of a number of books (and I have them on CD as well) including “Rising Strong” and “Daring Greatly”. Her acclaimed TEC talk on vulnerability is one of the five most watched, with over 30 million views.

 

Her program, on courage, is on Netflix here:

https://www.netflix.com/au/title/81010166

Looking forward to the next weeks and months as this blog hosts:

Women of Courage. 

This is what I wrote to each woman who agreed to be part of this series. Interestingly I had only “one” knock back. I am so proud of the women who are sharing their stories in the weeks and months to come.

 

Thank you for agreeing to share your story for my Women of Courage series of posts which will be published from mid May 2019 onwards.

I got this idea from attending the Newcastle Writers Festival and hearing the wonderful Jane Caro speak about her book Accidental Feminists. IF you ever get a chance to listen to or read Jane’s works they are very good.

What I considered after that day and in the days to come is how we women have a tendency to underplay our achievements and whatever else we are doing in our lives. I know this is changing.

Many of you know I have had the experience of a cancer diagnosis, treatment and recovery and I am aware I had to garner a lot of courage to come through much of what has happened. However, when my own courage post is live, you will read something different where I believe I was courageous.

I am excited, interested and curious about these stories from real life…and women of courage!

I hope you are too.

If you would like to share your story of being a woman of courage* please let me know in the comments and I will email you. That would be great!

*there are no men included as I  think we women do not talk or not write about our stories enough which is why I have called the series: Women of Courage.

Denyse.

Joining with Sue and Leanne here for Wednesday’s Midlife Share The Love linky,

With Leanne on Thursday for Lovin Life link up here AND with Alicia on Fridays for Open Slather here.

Thank you all for your link ups.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Calm and Balm For My Soul. 27/2019.

Calm and Balm For My Soul. 27/2019.

A gentle post of photos and how I help myself achieve more peace and calm in moments that are not always wonderful.

Some of those moments for me are pre-surgeries, recovering from surgeries at home, distracting myself from being hungry when eating was hard, calming my mind during a procedure or treatment by listening to music or an audio book, reducing my anxious mind’s whirling whilst being driven by my husband….not about him, about me, and not being in control!

I know many people have tried some if not all of these, but here’s my offering!

Getting Outside. Even Into the Backyard!

Making Something Creative.

Having These On Hand & On the iPhone Playlist.

These are some of the major ways in which I help myself achieve a greater level of calm. It is not easy. I am learning all the time. I also use the Calm app program each night. I highly recommend trying Calm and then signing up. I got a lifetime offer last year which has paid for itself over and over. Not only is there meditation but there are master classes in many fields such as cravings. There are adult ‘sleep stories’ which are a delight to listen to and hopefully nod off under the covers. I recommend these but no-one pays me to do so.

This link takes you to Calm and there is a sign-up for free sessions. See how you like it!

There is no sponsorship on my blog. I only want to share what I find works for me. Then if I tell you about it, and you like it too, that is a win!

What are your ideas for calm and balm for your soul?

Denyse.

Joining here with Min and friends for Zen Tips Tuesday. Thanks for the link up!

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