Sunday 24th February 2019

What Is Courage? 29/52. #LifeThisWeek. 2018.61.

What Is Courage? 29/52. #LIfeThisWeek. 2018.61.

To answer this question I sought responses from various people and the internet sure does pop up some good ones. Yes, I have read some before. Yes I understand them…now.

No I did not always get why courage was so important.

Surely staying safe and small was best. Then, over the last few years I needed guidance and knowledge to help me gain skills that I am sure became dormant in a body rattled by far too many changes in my life at one.

These photos explain more. I recall taking each of them…and the last one  I had started to feel the courage I needed.

 

From these quotes I can see there are a number of views on courage. I leave them here for you and after you have scrolled, read or skipped them…my responses, via examples, to What is courage will be below.

https://www.tes.com/lessons/ZP0RzEjUkL554Q/what-is-courage

https://www.pinterest.com.au/33rdchance/courage/

http://acelebrationofwomen.org/2013/02/courage-is-not-the-absence-of-fear-women-in-recovery/

https://randyfrazier.com/brene-brown-quote-on-courage/

 

http://www.azquotes.com/quote/1343701

I recently saw this quote and it had to be here: It’s from Dr Danny Penman who has written a book called: The Art of Breathing, which I have found very helpful.

What are some personal examples of courage? 

  • Moving away from our family, friends and the known to the unknown to live here on the Central Coast. I paid for this courage with resulting fear and anxiety yet, on reflection, 3 years afterwards it was worth it.

 

  • Deciding that I could apply for and get a principal’s role in 1998. Before then, I wanted to stay “safe” because that felt best. Yet as I considered my life as it continued, I knew UNLESS I got up the courage to go for roles, I would always regret it. I did get a principal’s position. I did really well in the first three years and then, the fourth year I was brought down by over-work and I had the courage to leave to help me save my mental health.

 

  • Starting a blog. I know that might not seem courageous to some but for me, a lonely retired educator I was prepared “to put myself out there”. It’s been hard to see some of the external measures of success in blogging by-pass me but look now, a lovely community thanks to this link up has joined in and that has made it worthwhile.

 

  • Speaking up and telling my father that some of his comments to me over the years have hurt me and I would prefer to have his support, no matter what, than advice that is not sought. I did wait till my mid-60s but I have done it and as a result, there is an adult to adult relationship now. I took the risk and it worked.

 

  • Insisting, after many sessions of conservative treatment,  that my dentist removed the bridge and attached teeth from my upper gums because of the pain and trouble the area had caused me for the past many months. Getting it done, despite my anxiety being sky-high at the time because I knew the only way was to find what was causing the problem underneath.

 

  • Being prepared to let go of any real or perceived attempts that I can control other people and their behaviours and this was especially true for my family relationships. I risked not knowing what I thought I needed to know and can accept this as a reality.

 

  • Determining, after taking some time to convince myself, that my cancer diagnosis, surgeries and treatments were not to harm nor scare me but to help and heal me and once I did that I was/am a more responsive and healing patient.

This list is not the end but an example of some instances that came to mind as I was preparing the post. Each of them starts with a verb. Yes, action is required in courage.

I found this example of my artwork which helped (and continues to help) me move through the often slow, boring and painful times of recovery from the BIG surgery in July 2017. I concur with past me!

A very influential person to help me learn aspects of the courage I could tap into in my latter years is my husband and along with him, my reading and listening to the works of Brene Brown. Her statements on vulnerability hit home!

So, what is courage for you?

Denyse.

 

 

Joining with Alicia here for Open Slather.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 30/52. Share Your Snaps 6.  23/7/18.



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Living B.O.L.D. 2018.16.

Living B.O.L.D. 2018.16.

One year ago this week I was an anxious, hypervigilant and fearful woman because……of nothing other than what went on in my mind.

There  was NO real reason At ALL for this.

However, my mind over-rode the outside messages of safety and security and commonsense and left me:

fearful

worried

catastrophising

and really, really disappointed in myself for being like this.

Does this sound true for anyone else reading?

These sayings are from blog posts in February last year. I knew I needed help and to change my thinking but gosh it proved hard and I really had to move away from ‘positive affirmations’ which are now said not to do us much good at all… and WORK hard at the shift.

I did. I saw my psychologist about the ramping up of my fear to travel on the M1 (read about that here and here for part two) whilst she was kindly she did say I would have to do this work for myself. I baulked at it over and over. Why? It all seemed far too hard and my mind was leading.

But it took THIS!

In April 2017 my  teeth & bridge  needed extracting because they were causing me pain and I was sure something was wrong. Forward to the results of a biopsy of the gums in the front of my mouth in May 2017 where cancer was found. Posts are here about that.

From June 2017 until now I have gently and firmly led myself out of that busy and annoyingly bossy mind to be able to:

  • accept what is happening to me in terms of my health
  • understand that I have the inner capacity to manage my emotions now
  • give back to others who have supported me as I found my strength and confidence again
  • joyously proclaim each day that I am going well (even in some pain or discomfort it is OK)
  • be grateful for the big wake-up call to assist the change
  • MAKE the inner and outer world of me one which I am most happy to inhabit

This has led me to the intention I set earlier this year. I chose B.O.L.D.

Be Brave

Optimistic

Learning & Loving

Determined Denyse

and I had the ‘word’ engraved on a bracelet I wear 24/7 (other than hospital surgeries!) and it really has helped me move my old mindset to the new. This is something that will always be a work-in-progress for me I forgive myself readily for forgetting then congratulate myself for changing my thinking.

My “message to me” bracelet.

Sign Above Where I Blog.

Did you find a word or intention for 2018?

I understand that for some people they mean little and for others they like the process and the product.

Last year’s worked for me more than I realised. Thank you KINDNESS especially when I remembered to be kind to me too!

Today as this post goes live I will be in Sydney having my post-surgical check up from last Wednesday’s mouth reconstruction #3.

I will be glancing at my bracelet a few times I imagine!

Denyse.

UPDATE: I will blog next week about the outcome of Wednesday’s visit to Sydney to see Professor Clark and his wonderful Practice Nurse.

Joining in with Sue here and Leanne here for their link up on Wednesdays.

And because of the Theme for Leanne’s Link called Lovin’ Life I am joining in there too on Thursday.

 

 

 

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Who’s a Worrier? #LifeThisWeek 7/52. 2018.14.

Who’s a Worrier? #LifeThisWeek 7/52. 2018.14.

I will put my hand up first!

I also will have a smile as I realised a couple of times I read this headline as: Who’s a WArrior? That then made me think a bit more. Maybe, to admit to being a worrier I need to be a warrier and get over some of the worries! If there is one thing I have learned about myself in the past few years it’s this:

I am stronger than I think I am

I am braver than I remember

I have more courage in me than I think

I know that what I THINK is not always true. In fact, from research I have heard we tell ourselves LIES most of the day. And we WORRY?

In the photos above my worry-levels were almost nil. Naturally there is apprehension before surgery but I also knew I was in the best place with the best people.

What is the point?

I found this quote summed up ‘worrying’ well for me:

Do you find yourself worrying about things? Do the same concerns seem to go round and round in your head? Would you like to find some peace and respite from all this mental ‘noise’?

If so, you are very far from alone. Clients often come to therapists wanting to talk about their worries and anxieties. Often their goal is more to be free of worrying, than to sort out whatever it might be they are worrying about. This makes sense when worry has become a habit. One client told me recently, “when I sort out one worry, it’s as if my mind goes looking for the next one, it just seems to need something to stress about.” 

Worry is usually about something we fear might happen in the future, or something that happened in the past that we fear the consequences of. It distracts us from whatever we are doing right now, taking our focus to something else, sometime else, some-place else. So what can be done?

A simple but powerful antidote to worry is to open our awareness of what is happening right here, right now. Looking around and becoming aware of what you can see, hear, smell, feel and even taste, grounds you in the moment you are in. Gently bringing your focus to your physical experience, noticing what you sense in your body right now can interrupt the flow of worries and anxieties.

Don’t get me wrong, while this may sound simple, it is not always easy. Most often we need to bring ourselves back to the here and now again and again and again. As we do, the mind becomes more accustomed to focusing on this here and now and less inclined to add worries to the spontaneous thoughts that serve to distract us.

This mindful practice of being where you are with all of your attention is a good way to address anxiety.  Why not give it a try? 

A counsellor can help you start addressing your habitual worrying and find peace of mind.

Fe Robinson UKCP, MBACP source:http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/an-antidote-for-worrying-this-here-now

Then I saw this Ted Talk…and listened and learned more about becoming emotionally agile. This means less listening to the voice in the head (the worrier inside) and being the warrior who does not need to believe or act upon said thoughts. (my words!). I have also downloaded Susan David’s book on audible and it is making a lot of sense to me…the learner!

As I write this I am in recovery mode from the surgery last Wednesday and in some pain and discomfort from time to time. However, as this is surgery #3 I have had, I feel far less #worried than I may have. I am also continuing listening to Susan David’s book and finding it very helpful.

Taking care of my thoughts…

How about you?
Are you a worrier?
How do you manage your emotions?

Denyse.

Joining with Alicia here for Open Slather.

Thank you for linking up for Life This Week!

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week is the optional prompt’: 8/52.  “February is..” 19/2/18.


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