Friday 18th October 2019

What Is Love? 37/51 #LifeThisWeek. 95/2019.

What Is Love? 37/51 #LifeThisWeek. 95/2019.

This is about love.

Not all lovey-dovey love.

But love when it matters, how it lasts and the constant re-calibrating a long, long relationship thanks to:

L O V E

Whilst I grew up in a family which went to church on occasion, and I heard this verse a few times at weddings, I am quoting it today from the bible as I have always felt an affinity to these words:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)

Here’s what love is and looks like, in more recent times in our life together. 49 years in October since we met. Been together ever since!

Keeping our love for each other bright…is quite the journey.

Fortunately we enjoy very similar senses of humour, a love of kids, teaching and a zest for learning more. Always learning.

Whilst my husband endured more than anyone’s fair share of illness and medical conditions which saw him having to medically retire young, he got on with life. Changing his work, over time, to be a kitchen and cabinet maker as well as an educational tutor. In his latter years he too studied at tertiary level and used his qualifications to counsel others. Always a fantastic support to me during my career, his wisdom helped me through some challenging years.

We have parented two children: a girl and a boy. We are so blessed (yes we are) to have eight loving grandchildren, 6 girls and 2 boys. But more than anything…we have each other.

We are loving this post working, post child-rearing, post grandchild-caring life of ours very much. It will be more enhance with a house of our own again one day but for now, we love each other’ company but also do quite a bit separately based on our interests.

Here’s to love…and what it’s been more recently: Recently is from my cancer diagnosis in May 2017 (see here for first time readers)  until now. The amount of time he has given to take me to appointments in Sydney (I now do them alone and have since April 2018) and elsewhere, to ‘find’ a chocolate paddlepop if he could when I was first home from hospital, to be as patient as he could with ‘this patient’ and then to let me know (if I hadn’t already) it was time to get outside, go out and stop whingeing…. I do/did. Mostly. But he also understands I need to get the words out.

And here’s what some recent examples of love look like for us.

And I may not have photos for these but lastly:

  • He surprised me with my new apple watch to ‘celebrate’ two years since cancer
  • He got a new banjo. Just because. Not really, he loves playing his piano and guitars and regretted selling his old banjo, so now he has one!
  • He likes Bunnings. I don’t but I understand shopping!
  • I like arts and crafts. I kind of know how to spend a little less…even though he is very understanding
  • We have date morning tea once a week
  • We watch a session of recorded tv (The Block for now) each afternoon together. We have very different tastes in viewing. He is a Netflix fan, and a sports fan but I tend to just use social media.
  • We disagree. A lot. But we accept, generally, our differences.
  • We annoy each other. A bit. But we move on.
  • We are good for each other. I reckon ‘opposites’ attract. He is tall, I am not. He is ‘big picture’ I am ‘details’. He is…a bloke. I am not.

AND… one thing we always say we remember …even at our worst…is seeing each other for the first time on 17 October 1970, sitting at the opposite ends of a table, and we

S M I L E D…and that dear readers, was that!

I am grateful to have a long-lasting loving relationship.

Denyse.

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Comments

  1. Thank you, Denyse, for sharing such heart-warming love story. 49 years in October is a beautiful achievement. Congrats!

    • Thank you so much Natalie. I had to ‘secure’ approval for this post from my very private husband. That’s how he is. He too is proud I know.

      Denyse x

  2. What a lovely post. You are Ying and Yang, and we know they fit together so well, and hold the other element inside. Yes, the shopping at Bunnings is more than just a cliche…I do not understand it either.

    • Thank so much Lydia. Yes, we worked out a while ago about our differences but I think, given who and how we are as we age we are becoming much closer.

      Bunnings..well, he does make some great items for us so I won’t complain. But I go there rarely!

      He would dislike the art supples shops too!

      Denyse x

  3. I love a good love story and yours is pretty special. I think you complement each other perfectly!

  4. This is really lovely Denyse! I only see your relationship from afar but it looks solid and one that others should aspire to have!

  5. That’s a beautiful true love story. And I love that quote from Corinthians – I’m pretty sure we used it at our wedding too. As an aside, I like a good trip to Bunnings – as does he – but he also loves shopping and I hate it lol. I love how the yin and yang keeps things interesting and helps you both grow as individuals and in the relationship.

    • Thanks Jo. Look, I don’t MIND Bunnings but he gets in and gets out and I tend to like a browse…if you know what I mean!

      When we cared for our grandkids in 2014 every Monday was Bunnings at Rouse Hill for morning tea!

      Yes, being married to an opposite is both a challenge and a comfort over time. We tend to complement each other.

      Denyse x

  6. Long term love is becoming more of a rarity these days Denyse, so it’s always lovely reading about a genuine committed love like yours and your husbands – may you have many more years together x

    • It is so true. In fact in our little family that is the case with our adult children. It happens.

      We are always challenged from time to time in a long term relationship but both of us tend to think now, once all the caring for others, raising kids and working years are done, it IS our time and we have waited 45+ years for it!!

      Thanks Leanne.

      Denyse x

  7. A man who likes Bunnings is a real Kiwi bloke!

    • Ha! Did it start in NZ? I always thought it began in Western Australia.

      Nevertheless, I am sure, wherever we eventually settle there will need to be Bunnings for him and a good size shopping plaza for me…and within 2-2.5 hours of Sydney.

      Thanks Maureen, brought a smile to my face.

      Denyse x

  8. You are great friends, you actually really like and enjoy each other while respecting each other’s differences, that has to be the basis for real love. What a great team.

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