Wednesday 12th December 2018

What Is Friendship? #LifeThisWeek 16/52. 2018.33.

What Is Friendship? #LifeThisWeek 16/52. 2018.33.

When I selected this topic I already knew it may be a challenge to write about.

The challenge though was from my inner meaning of friendship.

I admit that having and keeping friends in the world of teaching has been hard. Why?

It’s because we move around from role to role and school to school. I know as I left work in schools to retire fully, I had hoped to keep connecting with some of the people but over time, the friendship drifted into nothingness. It was also one-sided I found.

Instead of berating myself about this, I looked at my life and why. It WAS about the moving on and about. It WAS also about interests changing too. We had a lot of couple friends as young teachers and enjoyed the company and camraderie, even keeping in touch once we were all back in Sydney. However, family changes and priorities, along with our health and moving away Sydney saw a decline in friendships.

But that was OK. That is life.

Luckily for me, I am social in my outlook and can arrange to meet with people who are on Facebook and that is fun. The friends on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have made many a lonely time better and I have met so many of these people via blogging I am very grateful.

And, despite the somewhat dated graphic above, when I put out the call on Facebook asking ‘what is friendship?’ I received some lovely and most helpful quotes! Thank you so much, Friends-in-the-Computer!

 

Friendship is surrounding yourself with people who celebrate you, not people who tolerate you. (E.)

Friendship is seeing each other after 18 months and everything is exactly as it was the last time you hung out. (L)

Friendship is comfort and ease, no judgement, just open hearts. (J

 Friendship is never having to be anyone other than yourself. (E)

(And never expecting your friend to be anyone other than themselves!) (E)

Friendship is always having each other’s backs, being each other’s greatest champion and greatest support. (A)

Friendship is everything that’s already been said and also being there through the good and bad, not just a “fair weather friend” if that makes sense. (V.)

Friendship is having the same sense of humour, good discussions (the flippant, the intense, the nonsensical and the hard), reciprocal gestures of support/acceptance of help (if these are imbalanced, the friendship is too), and being the rock of support in there with you without being the rescuer (and again, vice versa!) – give as generously as you receive! (K.)

Friendship is your friend arriving for dinner, and needing a little weep, and that just being part of a great evening together. Ease, love, acceptance, and solidarity. (A)

Friendship is a safe haven for kindred spirits. (V)

I liked these two quotes as well.

What I did love, and miss quite a bit, about friendships back in my working life and semi-retired life was getting together for a lunch, or a coffee date and having a good old catch up. This was fun.

However, I regard myself as fortunate to have married a man I love and who IS my best friend. He and I have seen each other through 47 years of love, triumphs, tragedies, child-rearing, illnesses, house buying and selling, and arguing! Yes, we are opposites in many ways but we are always there for each other!

Having a photo taken is NOT his favourite thing..so this pic is very much about being my best friend AND he has learned so much about photography being my ‘insta husband’ each morning! Thank you, B.

So what are your views on friendships?

Love to hear from you!

Denyse.

Joining with Alicia here – if she is having her link up this week.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next Week’s Optional Prompt: 17/52. School Holidays Memories. 23/4/18


FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest

Comments

  1. I’ve found my friendships have changed in some ways over time, Denyse. Interestingly, I’ve found myself making more friends at this stage of my life than say 10 years ago. Discussed this in depth in my post.

    SSG xxx

    • I guess that is what happens over time. My situation since we moved has been there are few if any chances for catch ups. I have tried to keep some connections but over time, they have petered out. Denyse x

  2. Friends can be distanced by life, but usually the good ones turn up when they need too, or you to them; and when you get together, it’s like the time and kilometres never got between you.

    • I would like to think that too.

      However it has been somewhat of a one-way street for me friendship-wise.

      I found with my cancer diagnosis unless friends were in facebook then they did not know about it.

      I agree that if I got the chance to connect in person with some friends, it would be fun and it would be like we had never parted.

      Denyse x

  3. What a beautiful post. I agree with all of these points and quotes. Catching up with friends brings so much joy to me even though I might only see them once a year. It is true that a great friendship has no time limits. It just picks up where it left off.

  4. Having moved around a lot, I find that even with so much social media, it can be difficult to stay in touch and people drift apart as you said. The ones who I thought would be with me forever haven’t made the effort to stay in touch, which is disappointing. But ultimately, I’ve learnt that you can’t force something that’s not happening organically.

    • So very true Kat!

      When I moved here I made attempts to continue one particular Sydney-based friendship but as my anxiety increased making me fearful of travel I just let things slide. My hub was friendly with her hub and when he was diagnosed with a serious illness, B drove down to see him. The connection really stopped from then. He was not interested in nor up to maintaining a friendship and sadly the one with his wife is over. I am ‘over that one’ though because it became one where I was the ‘absorber’ of her bad news.

      That is very wearing!!

      Denyse x

  5. Thanks for a great topic, Denyse, and congrats on your long lasting marriage. My friendships have been developed with people who share mutual life experiences or interests with me (e.g. school friends, travel friends, pen friends). They enrich my life because they’re in addition to the relationships that I have with my family. The friendships that have mutual respect, admiration, support, and desire by both parties to continue, continue regardless of time or distance as Lydia wrote above. The mutual experiences or interests just strengthen the friendships even more.

    • That is so good to read Natalie and thank you for your kind words.

      Friendship does take effort and interest on both sides and I like that you have found your balance.

      Denyse x

  6. The definitions of friendship you received from your Facebook friends are all so true! True friendships are such life enriching treasures!

  7. The points that resonate most with me are being yourself with people and being able to catch up irregularly and it’s still the same.

    • Yes, we had friends like that and I loved it. Sadly distance, ill-health and in some cases death have put paid to much of that.

      Denyse x

  8. Hi Denyse – I remembered it was Monday this week! I even found a recent Friendship post to link up, so I’m on a roll 🙂 I also wrote a post a while ago that asked what was happening to my Midlife friendships – there are definitely less friends on my catch up list these days, but the ones who are still there are such good value that they make up for the ones who have drifted away. My husband is my best friend too – we’re so blessed aren’t we?

    • Here’s to husbands who are our best friends!

      Good on you for finding a post too. Winning.

      But you know you can post OFF topic and link an old one as well!

      Denyse x

  9. My hubby’s my best friend too. But I feel like this year I’ve made more friends than I’ve ever had before. Eg, I arranged to meet someone I talked to on Instagram and now we meet up for lunches. It’s great!

    Di from Max The Unicorn

    • I love that!!

      I met up with some on-line people through a group and we had coffee and cake.

      Whilst nothing more came of it, as everyone (except me!) has families and jobs keeping them from doing so, it was good!

      Denyse x

  10. This reminds me we need to reschedule our long overdue catchup D!

    • Bit scared to plan it…LOL.

      I am having more surgery in just under a month.

      Unsure how things will be, post that, but will keep in touch when I am up to it.

      Denyse x

  11. What a beautiful, loving and caring best friend you have Denyse. I have written a post in my AtoZ Quality not Quantity and I do believe that we don’t need many friends – just real ones. I am fortunate to have my Saturday Sisters but I don’t have many friends. The ones I do have, including my blogging friends, have become very precious to me. My SSs are always supportive of me as I am of them and we share many things. Like you my best friend is my husband so I think we are two lucky ladies. Thanks for the linkup and see you at Midlife Share the Love Party on Wednesday. xx

  12. That is so lovely to read. It is good to have female friends to chat with and I miss that connection but being away from where I knew more people AND having a mouth situation making it hard to meet for anything other than coffee or cake is a challenge!

    Here’s the the besties who we married!

    Denyse x

  13. I love those quotes/memes. Friendship is a minefield for me. I’m shy, introverted and autistic. The ultimate trifecta of social awkwardness. Surprising I have any friends, really.

Denyse values & reads every comment written, thank you. There is always a reply.

*