Wednesday 16th October 2019

Thank You To Me. 24/51. #LifeThisWeek. 68/2019.

Thank You To Me. 24/51. #LifeThisWeek. 68/2019.

I saw this as a blog post on a U.S. Blogger’s page via a link-up and at the time of writing, I cannot remember ‘who’ to give credit. I am hoping one of my regular readers who links up may remember what I cannot.

Thank You To Me.

The A-Z of it!

A. Accepting most days what I find I can do and getting over what I can no longer.

B. Blogging. I am so appreciative that I took the opportunity to start a blog back in 2010 because over the years it has continued as a source of care, information and connection.

C. Cancer is not something anyone ever wants but I am, in so many ways thanking myself for the ways in which I have overcome challenges (and grown) associated with a serious head and neck cancer diagnosed only 2 years and one month ago.

D. Determination is generally a good quality and I am thankful at times that I can, with some thinking, pull back from something I am determined to do if it is not a great fit but I also LOVE that I am determined and get on with life as best I can.

E. Excited me is pretty cool and I know my energy levels are high when I am excited. I am so pleased that I can get excited about the little things in life as well as the more major events.

F. Family is so important to me and I am so thankful we got to raise two children who then went on to have their own families. Learning to step back from direct involvement in their now family-life has been hard but I am so glad I was guided by me (and my husband) to do so. Unlike my years of obligation to my direct family and how I am now independent is a very big deal for my….

G. Growth. In the past 5 years, I want to thank me for ALL I have had to learn through tears, stress, anxiety, IBS and cancer….as well as a close relationship with my…

H. Husband who, now it’s just us, is a fantastic partner, someone to laugh with, awesome hugger and downright good company and I love him very much.

I. I am interested in people and I hope use my intelligence wisely and with integrity.

J. Joking around and having fun is one way of relieving stress and reading out a joke without laughing can be very difficult.

K. Kilometres I travel safely in my wonderful car make me glad for my long-held driver’s…

L. Licence and that I am proud to say I have held it for 52 years!

M. Marriage and money. Actually marriage is, for us, better than money. We both think (despite little disagreements) that we did win the lottery in marriage and that is better than all the money in the world. 49 years since we met this October!

N. Newspapers and me. I grew up with this and I am always glad to find a newspaper to read. I thank those who still publish the ones you hold with both hands as you read. Free local paper to the Australian-wide newspapers, they are all great.

O. Optimism. Oh, I know I am not naturally an optimist as I follow the de-fault of…

P. Pessimism but if it’s taught me one thing, it is that I can be wary but I can also be brave!

Q. Questions are something I ask a lot. I ask to learn, and I ask to find out and I ask, I confess, to find out a bit of goss. Not much. But sometimes.

R. Retirement is a funny strange  interesting time. I thought I would love retirement but it seemed that I needed to re-think that and gradually lean into retirement rather than work one day, stop the next as it was in my father’s day.

S. Schools have been a loved part of my life since 1954 yet I am not a nerd. I had some ‘not nice’ things happen to me at school as do most of us, but with kind and inspirational teachers, I knew at age 11 I wanted to go into…

T. Teaching. I love little kids and watching them discover and learn. I enjoy conversations with them even before they can talk. I love learning from others too.

U. Understanding myself has taken a LONG time and I thank my mind for helping me do this in the past few years. I have read widely, studied, been to talks and I “think” as best as I can say I am…

V. Very pleased with the person I am learning to love and really enjoy being. ME!

W. What a lot of time it has taken though. I spent decades people pleasing and can still get caught up in it. It’s been in the last 2 years (with cancer) that I have learned more of the …

X. X-factor. How to gain a kind of balance between self-care and caring for others. I still do not get it right many times but I am so much more forgiving and compassionate with myself now.

Y. Youth! I have long left my youth but I try to remain youthful in my outlook and going with the times. Those times, especially via social media, may not quite match my values these days, yet I like learning the views of those who are younger. Mutual respect is a goal!

Z. Z for….the end? Sleeping. I don’t have a word for Z…oh yes I do Zest for living! I have that.

What would you ‘thank you’ for today?

Denyse.

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My Virtual Soup for the Soul Information

Please consider making a donation you can afford here:- To help raise awareness of Head & Neck Cancer.

I had no idea about Head and Neck cancers until I was diagnosed in May 2017!

‘Soup for the Soul’ is already live and I have a Virtual Soup for the Soul page here.

More about that as we get closer to World Head and Neck Cancer Day on 27 July.

 

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Comments

  1. Happy Monday Denyse and what a wonderfully uplifting post to start the week. You certainly have a gem in your husband and a beautiful relationship together. I especially love ‘V’ and ‘Y’ as we all need to make these part of our lives. Have a great week! #lifethisweek

    • Thanks Sue. I am glad you found the post uplifting. I found it hard to work out how to approach it and when in doubt, use the alphabet!

      I liked reading that you loved V and Y!

      Denyse x

  2. In inspiring and motivating qA-Z, Denyse!

    Happy #lifethisweek !!

    SSG xxx

  3. What a lovely post. I really love your H and M. We were talking about empty nesters that go into depression on the weekend (I’m not at that stage just yet, so I can’t judged but I do think the focus on the couple is as important as the focus on the kids). I don’t think I can be on topic this week. Will see…

    • Thanks Lydia. We (B & Me) made an unconscious (?) decision that our relationship came first in our marriage and that kids did not play the dominant role that they do in some families. Of course, our kids needs were taken care of, we had family holidays and gave them every educational and sporting opportunities that worked for them…but we also made sure we had nights away without them and some short breaks too. We were fortunate to have my parents always happy to help out and that was great.

      That’s why we did the same for our kids as adults and cared for their kids too.

      I do think that focussing on “only” one big part of your responsibilities as a parent can/may be detrimental to the health of the marriage of partnership.

      I know the adage the best gift parents can give their kids is to love each other.

      True that.

      Denyse x

  4. What a upbeat and inspiring A-Z! I love it! I love your H and M too – you two are certainly smashing those marriage goals! Hope you have a great week!

  5. That’s a mighty fine A-Z… I especially love H,M,V & W… Have a great week.

  6. I love the positivity here Denyse. I’ve decided I want to start doing the ‘3 things I’m grateful for each day’ thing before I go to bed at night. It’s so easy to focus on the negative.

    • Yes it is good to do that if and when you can. It’s a great finish to the day.

      Lately I have been finding gratitude throughout the day, even if I just look up to the sky, when I may be a little bit down. It seems to lift me up again.

      My husband used to tell me about gratitude and its benefits back before I was diagnosed with cancer but I was so tightly wound in my world of worry, woe and IBS I found it too challenging.

      Grateful I got the cancer diagnosis (It’s true it helped me shift my thinking even though it is nasty) because then I learned more about how to manage my emotions. Sound weird but it helped.

      Denyse x

  7. That’s a very self-positive A-Z!!

  8. Lots of things to be grateful for in your life Denyse – something we all need to remember – all the lovely little things that make us who we are. I am also very grateful for having a wonderful husband to walk through this stage of life with – it’d be very lonely without that person by our side wouldn’t it?

    • If we do not consider the ‘little things’ too then the big things can be too hard to manage.

      Yes we are both very fortunate women..and we would think they too are fortunate men!!

      Denyse x

  9. What a great idea Denyse. I love your A-Z – particularly H & M & O & V … and well they’re all great! 🙂

    • Thanks Min. The original poster did not do it this way but I liked the concept. Turning it into an A-Z made it easier for me. Good to sort myself out really!

      Denyse x

  10. Very inspiring list. I know many who will skip everything and head straight to Z.

  11. I love your A-Z Denyse, it’s refreshing to read of all your thank yous. I can’t pick a favourite! I’ve shared a post from last year, I have a whole range of posts in my archives that I even forgot I wrote in the first place, so thank you for the opportunity to share them again, especially as I’m away and can’t always find the time to write a new post 🙂

    • Refreshing an old post or re-publishing it via a linky is good. I sometimes go back through mine (many in draft form now) too as they give me an idea of how I was thinking back then.

      I sometimes regret the deletion of many posts that might have given me insight into my thinking back in 2010-2014 but I kept some of the education ones in draft for possible future use.

      One reason I deleted many of my posts (and the two blogs they were on) was that I used images of the grandchildren and family back then and as those children have grown, family circumstances have changed I did not want any ability for anyone to source them. The privacy is far too important now.

      The only images I use (if at all) are those of adult aged grandkids where I have their permission and I never use names nor locations.

      Glad you are having a great break away from winter at home.

      Denyse x

  12. Oh I love this post Denyse! I might borrow it off you and write one myself over the week or so. Reminds me of Neff’s self-compassion work – I struggled to say anything good about myself in the beginning and even now, I will say it with a level of guilt. It also seems like this might have been a much-needed post for you after the last few days. I hope it was uplifting thanking yourself for all the great things you bring into the world! Have a great week ahead!

    • Thanks Sanch. Yes it was done over the weekend and I came back and forth to it. Yet, during this time of unwellness my mind was less ‘down’ about than it might have been in past years. I was quite proud of that. Borrow away! I say when a good idea hits us we need to try it. That’s why I thought of it from seeing another’s blog post but forgot whose it was. So, doing to A-Z was a more helpful way for me. When I first started with Neff’s work I was ‘not’ a self-compassionate person to me. I have done that ‘fall down once, get up once again” over and over. But some things must be embedded because on the weekend I remembered to be self-compassionate!! Denyse x

  13. This is such an inspirational read. O and V are always my first thoughts but you’ve linked in so many more that we often fail to appreciate. Without valuing and appreciating yourself you can’t pass on that love and care to others.
    Well done x

    • Thank you so much Pam. It is good to look at ourselves with less critical eyes and record it as we are so quick to criticise. Your comment is most kind. I appreciate you taking the time to read and do this.

      Denyse x

  14. I love this post – you are definitely in a great place, just as you deserve!

    • Thank you Kirsty. Wishing you and N a great little break too. By gosh you guys need it. Looking forward to publishing your Women of Courage post tomorrow. Denyse x

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