Tuesday 23rd April 2019

My Zen Is Found In The Garden. Part Two. 42/2019.

My Zen Is Found In The Garden. Part Two. 42/2019.

Recently I wrote about how I find having a garden is good for my mental (and physical!) health.

However, I must now add, that looking at flowers en masse, individually and observing their colours and textures takes me on an artist’s journey.

I see:

  • patterns
  • tones
  • colours
  • shapes
  • textures

I have tried to replicate some via my drawings and mandalas but nothing quite tops Mother Nature.

I am glad to recognise the peaceful, relaxing and health-filled responses I have when I visit not only my meagre garden but in parks and others’ gardens.

Here’s my collection of favourites. Some were grown where we live now and in pots, others were at the last house. The sweet peas at the bottom were from the last time I grew them. Two years ago. I love sweet peas so I have given them another go this year. Fingers crossed!

Do you find going into the garden relaxing?

Do you notice your breathing slows when you are immersed in nature?

I believe that nature is a healing space and place and I love that!

It cetainly is a place I can re-capture my ‘zen’.

Thanks to Min for her Tuesday link up #zentipstuesday here.

Denyse.

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Easter Means This. 16/51 #LifeThisWeek. 41/2019.

Easter Means This. 16/51 #LifeThisWeek. 41/2019.

Easter means nothing religious to me these days.

Although I was brought up to eat fish on Good Friday and Easter Eggs left by the Bunny were only consumed on Easter Sunday.

Oh, yes and Hot Cross Buns for Good Friday breakfast.

Protestant upbringing, in the 1950s-1060s.

Some traditions die hard and I “still” make my Dad and daughter what was Mum’s speciality: the Fish Dish. Haddock in a curry-flavoured white sauce.

As parents we enjoyed the fun of leaving an Easter Bunny (Elegant Rabbit from K Mart I recall)  and eggs around the house. Sometimes there’d be a dozen hidden and an empty egg box with clues left for the child to find the egg. I know we had fun making up the clues and seeing the results the next day.

As grandparents we might have an Easter Egg hunt and in what was to be our last Easter celebrating in Sydney with all the grandkids there, this was amazing fun! Much laughter and guesses when Papa would ask the grandkids questions so they could choose their prizes. Don’t ask me the details, it was five years ago!

 

EGGStravagant Easter Egg Hunt for the final time in Sydney: for all the grandkids.

 

My less-EGGstravagent Eggs for Grandkids in 2017.

I love the Royal Easter Show in Sydney and have done since I was a kid and it was held at the old Showgrounds – now the Entertainment Quarter I think. It was good when the show came to Homebush for travelling as we could catch the bus in and entry was included. I often took the grandkids and this was my last time, in 2014. I loved whatever was happening in the main arena – time for a snack and a sit down too. This time it was motor cross and motor bikes on show. I also loved getting to the Woodchopping arena. Fantastic to see the country coming to the city.

Royal Easter Show: Sydney. Last visit for me: 2014. Loved the Show!

At the Show: with a motorbike fan grandson next to me.

Nostalgia is playing a part in this post! Bear with me. Back in my Infants teaching days and as an Assistant Principal in the 1980s an Easter Hat Parade was mandatory. Well, encouraged by the community and we teachers did have some fun too. Whilst the kiddies paraded in their home-made hats and bonnets, the “Easter Bunny” aka the parent committee, visited empty classrooms and left an egg for all the children. Much excitement!

At one school, we used this song, on video here, over and over as the parade progressed. Nothing about paying copyright and fees back then either. I cannot hear this (and I like it) without remembering: melting chocolate coming off hats where the eggs were part of the decoration….and how much trouble some parents went to in making Easter hats. It was never a competition at schools back then. Thank goodness.

This video is from the US and the Northern Hemisphere is into Spring and all that brings for Easter. Enjoy if nostalgia is your thing too!

maskedman46Published on 29 Mar 2013

Never saw you look quite so pretty before

Never saw you dress quite so handsome

What’s more?

I could hardly wait to keep our date

This lovely Easter morning

And my heart beat fast as I came through the door

For…

In your Easter bonnet with all the frills upon it

You’ll be the grandest fella’ in the Easter parade

I’ll be all in clover and when they look us over

We’ll be the proudest couple in the Easter parade.

On the avenue, Fifth Avenue, the photographers will snap us

And you’ll find that you’re in the rotogravure

Oh, I could write a sonnet about your Easter bonnet

And of the guy, I’m taking to the Easter parade.

On the avenue, Fifth Avenue, the photographers will snap us

And you’ll find that you’re in the rotogravure

Judy Garland…Fred Astaire…Ann Miller in Easter Parade Musical 1948

 

Hope your Easter holidays are/were safe, happy and eggs-cellent!
Denyse.

Linking here on Mondays with Kell for Mummy Mondays.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next week’s optional prompt: 17/51 One Third of 2019 Is Over! 29/4/19

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Newcastle Writers Festival. 40/2019.

Newcastle Writers Festival. 40/2019.

When I lived in Sydney I went to a few Sydney Writers Festivals when they were still located at The Wharves down by the Harbour. It was often on a warm May Saturday I attended and soaked up sunshine, wisps of words from those who chatted along with their companions and took my seat in the theatre or section to listen to authors. I saw quite a few and even got some selfies back then as well.

Now, I live closer to Newcastle than Sydney so it made sense to consider attending the ‘Newy’ festival and even better when I saw who I could book a seat to listen to and ‘get a selfie’ with.

On Sunday 7th April it was a beautifully warm day in Newcastle and I took the chance to learn more about the city as I found the parking situation better this time.

I met my friend first. She had already had a coffee so that would wait for me. We hadn’t seen each other for years and had quite a bit to catch up on. Lisa is one of the ‘old school bloggers’ I first met in 2011!

 

Session One.

Rick Morton. OK. He too is someone I have known since 2011 (the first Bloggers’ Conference) and I have followed his career as a journo and writer since. In fact, he interviewed me for a story in the Australian about “Grandparents Caring for Grandkids”. That was in 2014. Now, he has written a best-seller.

His story.

Wow. The tales he tells are true. His talk sure was impactful. His book is One Hundred Years of Dirt. It has been re-printed over and over. Now I can listen to him narrate his story on Audible. Thanks Rick for our extra long chat and connecting me to your Mum Deb. Do read Rick’s book!

Intermission.

There were no sessions I wanted to attend until after lunch. So, this meant I got time to meet this man, Trent Dalton. The author who, on Instagram, convinced me to continue listening to Boy Swallows Universe when I found it a bit unsavoury. He said: “Denyse, stick with it, it IS a love story, I promise you will love it.”.

He was right. It is. I did. I had to tell him! I lined up, not with a book to sign (it was at home) but to introduce myself. He was chuffed to meet me and so self-effacing. A lovely man. Please, if you have not, read or listen to Boy Swallows Universe.

Then Lisa and I caught up again over: lunch for her, morning tea for me.

Session Two.

After Lisa left, I walked around the Civic area and park trying to stay cool as the day’s temperature rose to over 30. Once I had a bit of a rest under a 100 year old tree, I made my way back to the Main Civic Hall where my friend Jane Caro was interviewed about Accidental Feminists. Her latest book. I took notes. I learned a lot about myself (because I am a bit older than Jane) via her life experiences. Interesting alright! Do buy or borrow the book.

Jane was so kind in between sessions when she agreed to a quick photo telling me “You look amazing”. Jane is a FB friend and knew about the oral cancer.

Summing Up.

It was a big day out for me. A first really since way before cancer but it was so good for  me to do this. I loved it and will certainly be going in 2020 if some of my fave authors are part of the program.

Do you go to Writers festivals?

Denyse.

Joining with Sue and Leanne here for Wednesday’s Midlife Share The Love linky,

With Leanne on Thursday for Lovin Life link up here

AND with Alicia on Fridays for Open Slather here.

Thank you all for your link ups.

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Learning To Be Calm. 39/2019.

Learning To Be Calm. 39/2019.

Over 4 years ago, when I first began understanding that I needed to care for myself INSIDE and out, I began meditation. I went to a retreat at the local Buddhist place and learned that I liked being calm and centred. Of course I could not stop thoughts coming and going and I thought then that made me a failure at meditation.

No.

It made me someone who understood that thoughts come and go no matter what but the trick is not to engage in them. Ha. Easier said than done!

Then.

Now, I have been doing some kind of mindfulness each day AND adding around 10 minutes or so of formal meditation via an app, I KNOW I can stop some of the previous ways in which my mind would race, my gut would churn and I would go down the slippery slope (my husband’s name for it) of rumination, regret and future thinking.

I am much better now at stopping the thoughts by not buying into them and distracting myself with going outside, doing some art, driving and listening to an audible book.

Here’s what I have used in the past: Headspace. I paid for it and used it most days for almost 3 years. What happened for me is boredom set in.

I moved to another app called Calm after doing the free trial.

A for Amazing. I love its variations, I love the refreshing of the meditations, I love that I can re-do ones I get a lot out of and I love that I can explore new sessions.

Sleep Stories is a winner too. I now tend to do my meditation at bedtime (I used to be a mid-morning meditator) and then, I might also listen to a sleep story. It is just the best.

This is the link to the website and you can see there is a free trial. I did that, then paid for an annual fee and after that was offered LIFETIME membership at not much more than the annual fee. I grabbed that bargain! I am not being paid ( I don’t do sponsored posts) but I like to recommend.

I hope you find some calm in your every day in any way that works well for you!

Denyse.

Joining with Min for her Zen Tips Tuesday link up here.

 

 

 

 

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Share Your Snaps 3. 15/51. #LifeThisWeek. 38/2019.

Share Your Snaps 3. 15/51. #LifeThisWeek. 38/2019.

Manly: New South Wales. Australia.

When we moved to live in Sydney in 1959, we were pleased, in retrospect, that Mum and Dad chose to live on the Northern Beaches where Manly was the nearest beach, shopping centre, and starting place for the Manly Ferry to take us to the city. However, this “is” meant to be a sharing the snaps post, so here are many of mine….and I hope you enjoy the selection.

The family home. Not looking like this any more

Manly lies on the land of the Guringai people, the traditional owners of the land. It was given its name by Captain Arthur Phillip in 1788 when he travelled north of Botany Bay after finding it ‘unsuitable for settlement’.

He initially named the area to the north of the harbor Manly Cove after spotting a group of Aborigines in the area, about who he stated, “their confidence and manly behaviour made me give the name of Manly Cove to this place”.

The men he encountered were from the Kay-ye-my clan – of the Guringai people. As he scouted for fresh water in the area, Phillip met members of this clan and, following a misunderstanding, he was speared in the shoulder. He ordered his men not to retaliate preventing further bloodshed.

People gradually began settling in the Manly area around 1820 and by the 1850s Henry Gilbert Smith, the founder and developer of Manly, had the vision of Manly as a seaside resort.

https://www.coveredsummer.com.au/history-of-manly

This information is of interest in terms of Manly’s place in the white settlement of Australia. Always remembering the Aboriginal people who own this land.

Some smaller versions of these pavilions remain at the South Steyne end of Manly Beach.

 

One of the ferries on its way back from Manly

There was a ditty a long time ago, “7 miles from Sydney and 100 1000 miles from Care” or words to that effect, about a ferry trip to Manly!

Manly itself is a suburb of Sydney and the beach’s long stretch is made up of South Steyne – southern end and on the walkway to Shelly Beach and Fairy Bower, North Steyne is in the middle (where I used to go as a teen) and Queenscliff is at the northern end and where a certain ex Australian prime minister appears in his budgie smugglers far too often for my liking!!

Recently I re-visited Manly itself after being to see my 95 year old Dad in his unit at Dee Why. When I went the next time to Dad’s I showed him the photos and he lingered over them. He told me “in retirement, any morning I was not at golf, I’d come down here. Walk in the surf and the sand from South Steyne to Queenscliff and back. Some days it would be around to Fairy Bower”. I know he would always finish with a coffee!

I will always have a place for Manly in my heart. I now know, of course, how fortunate I was to live near here aged 10 to 20. We had access to it all as day visitors and holiday makers staying at my parents’ house as did our children. Many great memories of Manly.

 

Have you been to Manly?

I loved sharing these snaps here this week.

Denyse.

Linking here on Mondays with Kell for Mummy Mondays.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next week’s optional prompt: 16/51 Easter Time Means This. 22/4/19.

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My Zen Is Found In The Garden. Part One. 37/2019.

My Zen Is Found In The Garden. Part One. 37/2019.

I really did not ever enjoy gardening. I think it was the labour of it and also I liked the ‘look’ of a garden but not so much the hard work. This changed for me once I was well and truly retired from all work.

We still lived in Sydney then and had a lovely pool area which incorporated garden beds around the perimeter. Over time, we (ok, my husband) laboured more intensively and made some delightful screening areas as well as adding plants and shrubs.

The pool area in its early stages, but the time the house was sold late 2014 it was more filled with greenery and colour.

I liked tending to some of the new plants, helped with cutting back the fast-growing vines and also put some plants in seasonally e.g. sweet peas. They went against the pool fence far left and it was something I enjoyed doing with my little grandkids who we cared for 3 days a week. Oh, and for anyone worried, the pool gates were always locked and an adult would accompany a child into the pool area at all times.  Very strict on that!

Then we sold our family home and moved to the Central Coast to rent. The first house we rented was a waterfront and, by the way, we would not choose waterfront again because the salty air does affect computers and other appliances. This place had some native trees but not much else.

After wanting to get away to an easier house to live in and be more comfortable, we chose an established home that had one owner and was in the northern area of the Central Coast N.S.W. And those people planted a LOT…..of palm trees, and tropical plants….and I sure got some frustrations out chopping them back. The HUGE frangipani in the back yard needed some cutting back but the beauty each Spring to Summer was worth the mess of the fallen petals!

Now where was I?

Zen in the garden.

As I really needed to become more mindful and calm down my  nervous system (IBS and anxiety) my plants and flowers helped me manage myself and emotions on some days. Mind you, I sometimes needed some digging help, but generally I could manage with potting mix, barrel-type planters and a range of colourful flowers in season.

These gave me joy as I tended them, photographed them and sometimes tried to capture their beauty by a sketch or a painting.

These colourful plants and flowers were a joy to tend, to water and to care for as they were almost all located on the back verandah and I could reach them easily. Over time, some would die back and others would take their place.

As I became more unwell into 2017 – before I knew I had cancer – being outside, in this garden was one place where I could:

  • meditate via my app then which was Headspace
  • take notice of the changing skies above
  • listen to the birdsong of the local native birds and those who are just nuisance value
  • water the flowers and clean up the frangipani debris
  • cut back the palms: they can be quite dangerous and these, according to those who know, should never have been planted. They were overwhelming in size but….the new owners (our landlords) did not give approval for culling…so we did it. And the local council took the big and fallen fronds away at green pick up times.

Next time, more about the ways in which being in a garden is good for my heart and soul!

Do you find zen in the garden?

Denyse.

Linking up with Min on Tuesdays for Zen Tips Tuesday here. 

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Self Care. Share Your Story.#2.14/51. #LifeThisWeek. 36/2019.

Self Care. Share Your Story.#2.14/51. #LifeThisWeek. 36/2019.

In the past seven weeks what has been my self care routine?

Pretty much the same each week.

I know though that I need to remember self care before I notice I NEED to do something.

It can be so easy to forget what helps me remain as well as I can emotionally because I can get caught up with achievements, busy-ness and striving.

  • Striving.
  • Achievements
  • Being Busy.

These are words I am deleting as part of my past vocabulary.

I have been a striver, an achiever and a busy person since… 1970!

Just noticing the difference in me has been interesting to say the least!

Here’s what I notice:

  • I am walking more slowly
  • I am noticing more around me
  • I am prepared to actually sit and just enjoy being relaxed
  • I give myself permission to go on social media for a while but to be careful to notice when social media changes me emotionally…then I get off
  • I can actually waste time. Some would be horrified at this but I now know I can!
  • I like to read books and articles I enjoy and sometimes learn more but I can also just ‘chill’ like this
  • I can go outside and notice what is happening in the garden

I am still enjoying my dress with purpose and having a photo taken.

I love going out for a solo coffee still

I do like catching up with people this way too.

 

What does your self care look like these days?

Are there changes you are making?

Tell us more!

Denyse.

Linking here on Mondays with Kell for Mummy Mondays.

You can link up something old or new, just come on in. * Please add just ONE post each week! * Feel free to go with the prompt for the week to add your ‘take’ on the prompt. Or not. * Please do stay to comment on my post as I always reply and it’s a bloggy thing to do! * Check out what others are up to by leaving a comment because we all love our comments, right! * Add a link back to this blog in your post somewhere. I don’t have a ‘button’ so a link in text is fine! *Posts deemed by me, the owner of the blog and the link-up, to be unsuitable for my audience will be deleted without notice. * THANK you for linking up today!

Next week’s optional prompt: 15/51 Share Your Snaps. 15/4/19

 

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Two Years Ago: Before My Cancer Was Diagnosed. Pt 3. 35/2019.

Two Years Ago: Before My Cancer Was Diagnosed. Pt 3. 35/2019.

Thanks to readers who have commented on these posts.

They are, in some ways, very personal and maybe a bit indulgent but they are going a long way for me to feel better and recovering well from my version of head and neck cancer, found in my upper gums and under one lip.

The first two posts about the two years ago can be found here and here.

My last words on the previous post were these:

“take the teeth and bridge out, I HAVE to know what is underneath!”. I was a bit better-mannered than that with my request to my dentist but inside I felt these words more!

Why Did I Want The Teeth Taken Out?

For well over 6 months from late 2016 into 2017  this dentist and I worked on “what could be going on with my gums”.

This is why.

  • My upper gums were sore and red. They felt that way in part of my upper palate (roof of my mouth).
  • There was a ‘feeling’ of skin tearing up behind the covered part of the gums as I had a bridge permanently in my mouth.
  • The bridge (and a crown) had been added to the 6 front teeth spaces to add to my appearance and function as the original teeth had been heavily filled and already had been treated to the maximum by the dentist in Castle Hill in 2010-2011.
  • I went along with this procedure without question as I was promised it would be better. It was paid for by Medicare for people like me with chronic dental issues back then.
  • I admit I was ignorant of the what and how of the procedure but it seemed to be right. I trusted the dentist.
  • What did happen over and over from then until April 2017 is each new and subsequent dentist (3 in total)  told me “You are not cleaning behind the bridge properly”.
  • I did what I could. It was a very awkward and uneven space and even the dentists were challenged with their instruments.
  • “You have candida” I was often told. Yes, OK. I took so many fungalin tablets and added nilstat as a mouthwash only to find no change, and diarrheoa as a side affect. NOT something I welcomed with IBS already the ‘beast within’.

The mouth still hurt.

I had thorough cleaning at the dentist as late as March 2017.

The mouth still hurt.

I watched the gums slowly creep over the top of the front teeth.

The mouth hurt more.

But still this dentist wanted to investigate more even though he said theoretically he could take the teeth and bridge out.

I went through trying to get myself tested for nickel sensitivity – nickel is part of the bridge. I chose not to. I wanted action.

I could not eat much at all – combination of the very sore mouth and anxiety about it and good ole IBS.

So, the deal was struck. My teeth and the bridge they were on were coming out of my mouth on 6 April.

But wait….

I am too scared to both travel AND to do this! Right?

From my journal the day before:

On Wed 5 April I was nervous about the upcoming dentist trip

I did go out & do things but the “enormity” of what was ahead overwhelmed me

I broke down & just couldn’t see how I could deal with it

B was good at listening but I knew that despite the dread & worry & fear IF I didn’t go through with it it would be :

Avoiding

  • Would make it worse
  • I’d not get my mouth fixed

So I took steps to make sure I got there:

1. 1/4 Valium in arvo & then at night helped reduce the internal rumblings

2. I told myself it was a positive to be getting it done as it’s troubled me for so long I couldn’t let it go on & on

3. I needed to tell myself the outcome & process had to happen. I stopped thinking there was doubt or other choices. I needed to own this

4. I ate small because I was scared of IBS but that’s not new.

5. I knew I could take immodium if there was a reason

6. I used the hypnosis from audible in a big way

7. I had B taking me & he agreed to do it anything to make it work.

The day came. It was just after lunch. Not that I ate any! Yes, my dear husband did drive me and yes, I took medication as advised. I was warmly greeted by the team who really understood this was hard for me. I had my iphone and  earbuds and a hypnosis session ready. It started with LOTS of needles and reassurance all the way. I could give a signal to stop (I did only need that to tell them it was still hurting too much). I could also ask for a break to go to the loo. I did that once. By the time I decided I had enough…it was done. I was surprised. My husband had sat in the room reading as I was treated and it was nice to know he was there.

I knew there would be a denture put in – and whilst that did not hurt then  it did later. I had the model made the week before. So, then I was shown the teeth and bridge. I took a photo but not the teeth with me. The dentist’s opinion at the time was that everything looked OK gum and bone wise and I would see him the following week. I just needed to get back in the car and home. It was done! Over.

Afterwards I recorded this:

 Mouth sore & swollen

 Ice packs on my mouth

Taking medication – neurofen & anti-biotic

 Still got some bleeding (6 hours later)

Headache & tired

 Ate squashed pear, yoghurt & grated cheese & PButter

Very proud of myself and was told by B I was great.

Now if only IBS would bugger off!

Back to dentist next week to check it out & adjust the partial denture.

It

Is

Over.

Then I had about a week of pretty intense pain manipulating the partial denture in and out of the top gums. The gums were sore. I just expected that I guess. The following week, I re-visited the dentist alone with more self-confidence albeit in pain, where he adjusted the denture, told me what to look out for and I would see him in around 4-5 weeks.

And so, within that period of waiting, things did not progress as well as either of us hoped.

There will be a fourth part to this lead up to the Two Years Since My Cancer Diagnosis.

I hope that sharing my story is somewhat helpful to you. However, I must add, as my Head and Neck Surgeon told me:

“Denyse your cancer is rare and you getting it with no risk factors (smoking, drinking) is even rarer”

With Prof Clark – My Head and Neck Surgeon at Chris O’Brien Lifehouse.

Thanks for being part of the journey in these posts I am writing…for good reason and for information shared as I so often need to do since my Head and Neck cancer diagnosis.

Denyse.

Joining with Sue and Leanne here for Wednesday’s Midlife Share The Love linky,

With Leanne on Thursday for Lovin Life link up here AND with Alicia on Fridays for Open Slather here.

Thank you all for your link ups.

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