Saturday 23rd March 2019

Archives for Tuesday 5th March 2019

Who’s Grateful? 23/2019.

Who’s Grateful? 23/2019.

I am!

Are you?

This ‘gratitude’ thing has been around lately wherever I read. Conquer fear by being grateful. Acknowledge your gratitude whatever things are like for you. Honestly? Are there days like that when you wonder ….I do not think I am grateful for that day or what’s going on in my life, or ….and there is an endless stream of possible negative situations..

I know.

But…can you ever take yourself out of those situations for a minute or more? I am pretty sure you can.

When you can move out of the head that is keeping you going around and around in the same negative cycles that pop up in our lives and do this:

  • look up
  • look around you
  • touch something close by
  • smell the air
  • taste the food that has been sitting on the plate
  • remember a song you always loved
  • have a smile at something you saw yesterday

that is being present. By being present you are also able to be grateful and practise gratitude!

It is not always about writing in a journal. Nor is a certain number attached to a list of what you are grateful for.

I know that just by harnessing those thoughts away from the centre of self…to the outside and  what is around you then some of the inside relaxes just by the feeling of gratitude! I have found this works well. Even using your fingers (no-one needs to see this) you can count 5 things you are grateful for or even the ten using the second hand!

 

The social benefits are especially significant here because, after all, gratitude is a social emotion. I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.

Indeed, this cuts to very heart of my definition of gratitude, which has two components. First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good thing in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received. This doesn’t mean that life is perfect; it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life.

The second part of gratitude is figuring out where that goodness comes from. We recognize the sources of this goodness as being outside of ourselves. It didn’t stem from anything we necessarily did ourselves in which we might take pride. We can appreciate positive traits in ourselves, but I think true gratitude involves a humble dependence on others: We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

from here.

I am grateful every day.

As someone who had a cancer diagnosis nearly 2 years ago I can be grateful for this in so many ways. Whenever I feel a bit ‘over it’ which is perfectly human response, I take a minute or too and remind myself of how many people who are supporting me since my cancer diagnosis and I am incredibly grateful for them, medical advances and those in reconstructive surgery and how many new friends I have met as a result of having cancer!

So, what ARE you grateful for right now?

Maybe it is just being able to take time to read a few blog posts!

It could be you are grateful for the weather today so you can get that promised walk in.

It may just be that you are grateful for time to consider your life and how good much of it actually is.

Denyse.

Joining Min for Zen Tips Tuesday here.

 

 

FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest

Remembering Mum’s Smile. 22/2019.

Remembering Mum’s Smile. 22/2019.

I admit it.

I inherited my Mum’s smile.

I did not always appreciate this until too late.

That was when I lost my smile to cancer.

Today it is 12 years since Mum died.

Wow.

The ‘last’ great smile photo taken by me at Mum and Dad’s 60th Wedding Anniversary lunch. 2006.

Mum was unwell for around 2 years before it was found in early 2007 that she had multiple brain tumours with no known primary source.

That was it. Mum said “no more tests” when there could have been further explorations based on what the Neurosurgeon saw in her MRI. When Mum said that, he said “that is what I would say for my Mum too.”

Dad and our close family agreed of course because Mum was not a fan of hospitals, doctors or illness and in some respects that was why diagnosis was delayed. BUT….we knew Mum. And she most of all knew herself. So, over the next 6 or so weeks, she gradually worsened. We had our chance to say goodbyes and over the final days, Dad stayed at her side in the private hospital going home at the nurse’s insistence as Mum would succumb soon. She did, once he left (that is the way with many isn’t it?) and then we knew that the love of Dad’s life, the mother of two, grandmother of four, great-grandmother of 3, mother-in-law and friend of many had died.

But, we celebrate Mum often. In the years that I have passed, I have called on her help with recipes I have forgotten some ingredients in -she was a self-taught home cook and great! And what I noticed, in more recent times, was how much my smile was like hers. Dad has this image above in his unit where he moved to 4 years after her death. He still has the various dried floral arrangement she loved to make or buy. I think I did get some of my creative loves from Mum but took a long while to acknowledge that.

Mum and I have never been considered alike in body, temperament and education background …I am my father’s daughter. But I am short like she was and I have definitely inherited her love of colourful clothing.

So, when I got cancer in my upper gum and under my top lip, I missed smiling more than eating. I truly did. It came as a surprise to me just how much it meant for me to smile.

Getting my smile back in August 2018 I did not stop beaming for quite some time.

Today then I pay tribute to Mum and her smile….with a few of mine she would love too!

Thanks Mum. Here’s some from me. Love, Denyse xx

How do you remember someone who has been part of your life and now gone?

Have you inherited any of your family’s traits?

It really can be something to consider!

Thanks for viewing and reading about my Mum today: 5 March 2019, 12 years after her death.

Denyse.

Joining with Sue and Leanne here for Midlife Share The Love on Wednesday.

Here I am linking up with Leanne for Lovin’ Life linky on Thursday.

 

 

FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest
FacebooktwitterpinterestFacebooktwitterpinterest